imaginary christmas versions of existing songs

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the season is at hand, little helpers come forth and bestow your blessings in this thread

budo jeru, Tuesday, 16 December 2025 23:47 (one month ago)

Hank Williams - Cold, Cold Snow

budo jeru, Tuesday, 16 December 2025 23:49 (one month ago)

2 Live Crew - Me So Holy

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 02:20 (one month ago)

LMAO Neanderthal

feed me with your chips (zchyrs), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 15:44 (one month ago)

Foghat - Sleigh Ride

emil.y, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 16:07 (one month ago)

David Axelrod - Holy Thursday

(No title pun required - just only works for certain years, like this one)

trm (tombotomod), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:16 (one month ago)

Kenny Loggins - Manger Zone

emil.y, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:37 (one month ago)

Orbital - Santa

deep and crisp and crispy (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:38 (one month ago)

i'll be looking for an opportunity to say "we're coming up on the manger zone!" in conversation this year.

map, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:43 (one month ago)

lol @ manger zone

budo jeru, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:47 (one month ago)

Ice Cube - No Nazarene

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:51 (one month ago)

Dusty Springfield - Son of a Santa Man

the way out of (Eazy), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:52 (one month ago)

Johnny Rivers - Secret Reindeer Man

budo jeru, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:53 (one month ago)

Nas - North Pole State of Mind

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:53 (one month ago)

J. Geils Band - "(My Angel is) Santa Claus"

the way out of (Eazy), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:56 (one month ago)

Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannog

budo jeru, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 18:57 (one month ago)

Blondie - (I'm Always Touched By Your) Presents, Deer

emil.y, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 19:05 (one month ago)

Springsteen - Downbound Sled

the way out of (Eazy), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 19:12 (one month ago)

Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel - I'll Meet You in Lapland Baby

oh the traffic around here (Matt #2), Wednesday, 17 December 2025 19:42 (one month ago)

Metallica - For Whom The Silver Bells Toll

peace, man, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 20:30 (one month ago)

Tubeway Army - Do 'Friends' Come With a USB-C Cable Or Do I Have to Supply My Own

Ashley Pomeroy, Wednesday, 17 December 2025 21:19 (one month ago)

The Specials - A Message to You, Rudolph

peace, man, Thursday, 18 December 2025 11:25 (one month ago)

Beyonce - Jingle Ladies (Put Five Gold Rings on It)

ledge, Thursday, 18 December 2025 11:34 (one month ago)

Cameo - Jingle Life

ledge, Thursday, 18 December 2025 11:36 (one month ago)

B-52s - Dance This Christmess Around
B-52s - Dove Shack

peace, man, Thursday, 18 December 2025 13:06 (one month ago)

Jane's Addiction - Twelve Days

il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Thursday, 18 December 2025 13:53 (one month ago)

John Mayer — Your Body Is a Winter Wonderland

paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 18 December 2025 14:02 (one month ago)

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Sled Ride Hand

paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 18 December 2025 14:08 (one month ago)

Soundgarden - Frosty Cage
Nirvana - Smells Like Christmas Spirit
Pavement - Winter Babe

il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Thursday, 18 December 2025 14:31 (one month ago)

Three Dog Night - Mama Told Me (To Come, All Ye Faithful)

il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Thursday, 18 December 2025 14:42 (one month ago)

Sort of the flip of this, I'd never really paid attention, but I only just noticed all these Christmas songs that have nothing to do with Christmas!

"Jingle Bells" (famously written for Thanksgiving)
"Jingle Bell Rock"
"Sleigh Ride"
"Winter Wonderland"

Probably more. Just winter/snow/sleigh songs, the lot of them.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:07 (one month ago)

Yeah, I think "Christmas songs" is really "winter season songs." Like, imo "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" and "Let It Snow" are both seasonal songs even though you don't need Christmas for them at all. Proper songs about Christmas are more a subset of the genre.

paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:19 (one month ago)

This thread has been done before at least once but probably more like twice.

Nicholas Raybeat (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:20 (one month ago)

ILM's Wild Xmas Gift to You!

Nicholas Raybeat (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:22 (one month ago)

Can't find the other one I recall. In any case, carry on with this thread.

Nicholas Raybeat (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:24 (one month ago)

I mean, that thread was started over twenty years ago, I think we're allowed to retread something every couple of decades.

emil.y, Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:24 (one month ago)

Yes, of course. That’s why I tried to rephrase it and reframe it.

Nicholas Raybeat (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:28 (one month ago)

Sort of the flip of this, I'd never really paid attention, but I only just noticed all these Christmas songs that have nothing to do with Christmas!

"Jingle Bells" (famously written for Thanksgiving)
"Jingle Bell Rock"
"Sleigh Ride"
"Winter Wonderland"

Probably more. Just winter/snow/sleigh songs, the lot of them.

they’re all about cocaine

Modollno Kahn (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:44 (one month ago)

Deicide - When Santa Rules His World

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:46 (one month ago)

10cc - Eggnog in Love

emil.y, Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:51 (one month ago)

it's just a boozy drink i'm going through

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Thursday, 18 December 2025 15:52 (one month ago)

Don't forget the Smiths' album Powder On Tannenbaums

"Is It Really Snow? Strange"
"You Just Haven't Earned Gifts Yet, Baby"
"Panic" ("in the queues at Harrods" "hang the decor, hang the decor, hang the decor")
"Regifters of the World Unite"
"Please Please Santa Let Me Get What I Want"

paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 18 December 2025 16:12 (one month ago)

The Beatles - Linus and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Thursday, 18 December 2025 17:54 (one month ago)

_Sort of the flip of this, I'd never really paid attention, but I only just noticed all these Christmas songs that have nothing to do with Christmas!

"Jingle Bells" (famously written for Thanksgiving)
"Jingle Bell Rock"
"Sleigh Ride"
"Winter Wonderland"

Probably more. Just winter/snow/sleigh songs, the lot of them._

they’re all about cocaine


So Black Sabbath, "Snowblind"

Nicholas Raybeat (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 18 December 2025 18:02 (one month ago)

Darkthrone - A Sleigh In The Northern Sky

Siegbran, Friday, 19 December 2025 09:44 (one month ago)

More Smiths - Unhappy Christmas. And Everyday is Like Christmas - an imaginary Morrissey/Roy Wood collab.

fetter, Friday, 19 December 2025 10:13 (one month ago)

Robbie Williams - Hark! The Herald Angels Instead

Siegbran, Friday, 19 December 2025 10:25 (one month ago)

Judas Priest - You've Got Another Gift Coming
Soundgarden - Snowman

Chris L, Friday, 19 December 2025 11:37 (one month ago)

Prince - Purple Sleigh

peace, man, Friday, 19 December 2025 11:41 (one month ago)

"Every Day is like Boxing Day
With left-over turkey, raw and coooked..."

Mark G, Friday, 19 December 2025 14:18 (one month ago)

the cure - let's go to sled

fact checking cuz, Friday, 19 December 2025 14:34 (one month ago)

The Cure - From the Edge of the Christmas Tree

peace, man, Friday, 19 December 2025 15:28 (one month ago)

Sonic Youth - Have a Holly Jolly Nic Fit

Hideous Lump, Friday, 19 December 2025 20:34 (one month ago)

https://tshirtslayer.com/files-tshirt/styles/shirtview/public/user-48801/tss--1961919b116cc397644f227dab2b86b0.jpg
It makes less sense but I would have gone "Rein in Deer"

Philip Nunez, Friday, 19 December 2025 21:20 (one month ago)

Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire

m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Friday, 19 December 2025 23:38 (one month ago)

Want that one

Mark G, Friday, 19 December 2025 23:51 (one month ago)

swans, “Raping an Elf”

Modollno Kahn (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 20 December 2025 00:08 (one month ago)

Strawberry Alarm Clock - Incense and Peppermints and Frankincense and Myrrh

Josefa, Saturday, 20 December 2025 03:45 (one month ago)

slayer - crimbly insane

massaman gai (front tea for two), Saturday, 20 December 2025 07:57 (one month ago)

black flag - thirsty and mistletoe

massaman gai (front tea for two), Saturday, 20 December 2025 08:08 (one month ago)

Lana del Rey - Did you know that there's a present under the Christmas tree

Siegbran, Saturday, 20 December 2025 12:02 (one month ago)

Nick Gilder - Christ Child in the City

Josefa, Saturday, 20 December 2025 12:46 (one month ago)

The Soft Boys - I Wanna Enjoy Yule

budo jeru, Saturday, 20 December 2025 18:06 (one month ago)

NP - GG Allin - Shit on St Nick

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Saturday, 20 December 2025 20:30 (one month ago)

Suicide - Tree Baby Tree

Now read it backwards. (dog latin), Saturday, 20 December 2025 21:32 (one month ago)

You Spin me Round (Like a Dreidel)

pee slowly and see (Deflatormouse), Sunday, 21 December 2025 08:33 (one month ago)

Thomas Dolby - She Blinded Me With Sugarplums

peace, man, Sunday, 21 December 2025 10:53 (one month ago)

Ace Frehley - North Pole Groove

Chris L, Sunday, 21 December 2025 19:18 (one month ago)

Can - I Want Myrrh

city worker, Thursday, 25 December 2025 02:51 (four weeks ago)

Belinda Carlisle - I Get Wreath

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Thursday, 25 December 2025 05:09 (four weeks ago)

Belinda Carlisle - Circle in the Santa!

peace, man, Saturday, 27 December 2025 18:21 (three weeks ago)

(not sure why I was so excited about that or what it would even mean)

peace, man, Saturday, 27 December 2025 18:21 (three weeks ago)

Can - I Want Myrrh

― city worker, Thursday, 25 December 2025 02:51 (two days ago)

This is so good \o/

emil.y, Saturday, 27 December 2025 19:25 (three weeks ago)


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