Am I evil for laughing at this?

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From Rollingstone.com: (I don't know how to do links, sorry):

Moby was attacked as he tried to get into his car following a gig at Boston's Paradise Club last night. According to the musician, he signed autographs for fans outside the venue when three men assaulted him with mace and blows to the back of his head.
"I turned around to see what was going on and when of them punched me in the face a couple of times and then they all ran away," Moby posted on his Web site. "The assault could've been a lot worse but I'm very curious as to why three men would coordinate an attack on me? [I'm] hardly the most physically threatening person in the world."

Moby is encouraging his attackers to anonymously sign on to his message board and describe their actions and perspectives. "I'm honestly very curious," he continued. "And if anyone sees me in the next couple of weeks and I have some big bruises or stitches on my face, well at least you know why."

Does he really think whoever attacked him will post on his message board?

― lou, Friday, 13 December 2002 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Nobody listens to techno!

― , Friday, 13 December 2002 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i think this is lame. i don't get all the slack he gets. i could care less for his music, but from all of his videos and public appearances, he seems like a nice enough guy. maybe it's a false modesty (i doubt it), but he doesn't seem like the typical asshole celebrity. the whole incident at the VMAs w/eminem was pretty strange too.

i just don't get it.

― JasonD (JasonD), Friday, 13 December 2002 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think it's funny at all, I think it's pathetic and sad.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 13 December 2002 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Moby in secret double life SHOCKER!

― webcrack (music=crack), Friday, 13 December 2002 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

It is pathetic and sad, but would be even more so if it comes to light that Eminem orchestrated the attack.

― webcrack (music=crack), Friday, 13 December 2002 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

It's less likely that it's Eminem's doing and more likely that it's a gaggle of slackjawed Eminem fans.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 13 December 2002 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree with Alex. Anyone remember when they broke Jello Biafra's bones in Memphis or wherever? I hate people. I'd really like to know why Eminem hates Moby in the first place. Or maybe it's just his trad tactic of shooting fish in a barrel (Mariah, Christine, etc. etc.).

― Tom Millar (Millar), Friday, 13 December 2002 03:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Eminem hates Moby because Moby said something about how Eminem's music is marketed towards a young audience, and how he doesn't think Marshall's being very responsible when he raps about raping his girlfriend while 11-year-olds are buying his album. Why Eminem got so defensive over a harmless statement is beyond me.

― Curtis Stephens, Friday, 13 December 2002 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm actually planning to tell Eminem he's got pretty big tits for a guy just to see if I get an album track dis or only an internet one.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 13 December 2002 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I kinda doubt Eminem did this. Moby doesn't deserve this; his music might not be so great, but he's just about the nicest guy in the world. And he likes cool videos, so there's that.

― Dan I, Friday, 13 December 2002 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"his music might not be so great"

It's better than Eminem's.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 13 December 2002 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Wesley Willis is better than fucking Eminem. Come on.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Friday, 13 December 2002 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps he puts on a great public face but is actually evil and constantly threatens all of the other famous musicians, and sends thugs to their homes to holler curses and stomp on their geraniums and such.
Moby in secret double life SHOCKER!
Yeah, when Vanilla Ice changes his story a third time he'll claim it was MOBY who dangled him over the hotel balcony...Suge Knight was just there carrying Moby's sample deck.

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Friday, 13 December 2002 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I just remember the whole Moby vs. Eminem fued being really awkward. It was basically:

Eminem: YOU'RE SUCH AN OLD BALD FAGGOT
Moby: Uhmm, excuse me, what?
Eminem: NOBODY LISTENS TO TECHNO, FAG. YOU = STUPIDHEAD.
Moby: What's going on?
Eminem: FAGGOT. FAGGING FAG FAG. GO FAG A FAG, FAG. ALSO: FAG.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Im just gonna make everything even weirder here.

Plus, in 5 years, people are going to listen to Eminem's music and it will be SO dated.

Anyone remember when they broke Jello Biafra's bones in Memphis or wherever?

Eminem fans broke Jello Biafra's bones?

― David Allen, Friday, 13 December 2002 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought they mugged Biafra on Gilman Street.
Thats what made it so damned ironic.

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Friday, 13 December 2002 05:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Why Eminem got so defensive over a harmless statement is beyond me.
Because he's a borderline-paranoid asshole without the ability to accept constructive criticism?

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Friday, 13 December 2002 05:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder what dates faster, techno or hip-hop?

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 13 December 2002 05:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i was at the free festival in leeds about four or five years ago where Moby was 'assaulted' onstage by a security guard. it was actually nothing quite as graphic as an 'assault' and he still whines about it.

― Wyndham Earl, Friday, 13 December 2002 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently his neighbors in Manhattan post flyers asking why he let his dog shit on the curb and stuff like that. Like, constantly.

Why was Moby attacked?

That's When I Know It's Over

Swine.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 13 December 2002 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Posted by Gescom on Moby's site:

TECHNO STRIKES BACK FUKKA !!! BTW I WAS THE GUY WHO WAS WEARING THE APHEX TWIN MASK, AND HIT YOU IN TEH BALLSACK....THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU SPOIL ELECRONIC MUSIC !

So, that's what happened.

― d k (d k), Friday, 13 December 2002 09:01 (twenty-two years ago)

You're not evil. Just slightly sick and misguided.

Erm, how did Moby spoil electronic music exactly? Does "make more popular" and "bring to a wider audience" = spoil? The fact that these guys attacked him and just ran away suggests the motive wasn't to steal from him, so maybe it was just "attack the famous" person and anyone well-known in his position would have the same treatment meted out to them.

Classic misreading: I thought it said "assaulted him with mice" at first, prolly owing to the lack of an indefinite article. Which led me to wonder whether it was the rodents or the computer peripherals until I saw what it REALLY said.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 13 December 2002 09:10 (twenty-two years ago)

If that post from Moby's message board is true, the people who attacked him are pretty stupid. Moby and Aphex Twin toured together.

You're not evil. Just slightly sick and misguided.
It was pretty mean for me to laugh about it. Moby annoys me but he didn't deserve to get attacked!

― lou, Friday, 13 December 2002 09:29 (twenty-two years ago)

why does he annoy you, Lou?

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 13 December 2002 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

A few reasons, but none are good enough to make me feel any sort of valid disdain for him.
I don't care for his music at all. I did actually hear Porcelain on the radio and it was nice enough but songs like South Side (that's the one with Gwen Stefani right?) and We Are All Made of Stars irritate the hell out of me. I only heard it once or twice but it doesn't sound like he put any effort into We Are All Made of Stars- it's just that phrase repeated over and over against a dinky little beat.
He also said something about how he he wishes Radiohead would make more accessible music blah blah blah that I thought was lame (again- this doesn't justify disliking him, he just gets on my nerves).
He seems like an excessively nice person though. The whole thing with Eminem seemed ridiculous to me.

― lou, Friday, 13 December 2002 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

When I got randomly attacked and beaten up a few years ago I had this really strong urge to want to know why - like to be able to talk to the people who did it. A defense against the randomness I guess.

I cant think of any good hip-hop OR techno which has dated much yet.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 13 December 2002 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Samuel Beckett got stabbed in Paris and his attacker came to the hospital to explain why he'd done it. The explanation was 'I don't know'. Beckett, pondering this, went off and wrote 'Waiting For Godot'.

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 13 December 2002 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

what did dean stockwell do? - i don't remember that episode

― bob snoom, Friday, 13 December 2002 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

So anonymous poster posts to moby's website, his IP address gets logged, the ISP is asked to provide account details, cops arrive at house.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 13 December 2002 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Momus-That Samuel Beckett story is great!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 13 December 2002 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It is pathetic and sad, but would be even more so if it comes to light that Eminem orchestrated the attack.
Well...whats more dangerous and threatening than a blissed-out vegan pacifict?
Wait...don't answer that.

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Friday, 13 December 2002 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Does "make more popular" and "bring to a wider audience" = spoil?

Well, not for the wider audience.

I can sense this chasm opening beneath me.......

― Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Friday, 13 December 2002 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

What song would Momus write if he were stabbed for no reason? (Strictly hypothetical of course.)

Should this be a new thread?

― Roman, Friday, 13 December 2002 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"The Weltanschauung of a Homicidal Malcontent"?

― AmirL, Friday, 13 December 2002 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

If it was me, I'd write a song called "Ow Ow OW! (You Dead Fucker)"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 December 2002 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"I Will Track You Down (And My Posse Will Cast Threatening Glances at You and Your Posse)"

― AmirL, Friday, 13 December 2002 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fuck You Nihilistic Wankers, I Will Deconstruct You on a New Web Page"

― Beatific, Friday, 13 December 2002 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"While My Face Was in the Gutter, I Named a New Species of Formalism"

― AmirL, Friday, 13 December 2002 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I can sense this chasm opening beneath me.......

hah hah run! run! it's not safe!

I actually read the orginal post as "assaulted him with A mace" and I was unduly horrified. I'm still horrified, but, well... at least the medieval drama aspect of it is reduced.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 13 December 2002 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I would actually by his record if he "dusted" his songs with those titles.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Friday, 13 December 2002 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoa, Lou = aphexziqpusher from rs.com? Shit, why don't you bring the rest of the crew down, as this place is thrivin' and that place is (wuz) dyin' - but caution, this is quite a different world (- as you must know by now if you've been around. I've been irregular for almost a year and a half, and I suppose you've been here and there for a while too - just never this coincidence before!) Mandatory pre-posting assignment: a 9-page essay on the definition of the term "rockism," and why it may or may not apply to an rs.comer/X, or an rs.com'ers friendz, grunge311, etc. I think just of them would just get totally overwhelemed here to see so much plurality of opinion, I know Mary did as I gave her this link once and she just couldn't get over the Clash disses - ha! - and if you couldn't handle it, who could? That was like talking to ur lil' family (while it lasted), this here, is like "off to college" and finding people in your dorm smarter than you who ::shock!:: actualy disagree with you! (I never liked the sans-controversy-vibe-"let's-all-agree-it's-nicer-that-way,okay??" vibe over there anyway, i mean it was just so insularat times with everyone kissing the same canonical bands' collectives arses, except for rare actions by non-conformist folks like jac or slark, god bless them) okay, => lame metaphor. This paragraph is too long

Um, oh yeah, the topic. Well, it's sad, but Moby is just too Virgo for this to not happen again. He'll remain as nun-like and passive as one possibly can, and may even start praying for the inner harmonic well-being of his attackers in the near future, so that the positivity of this experience can outweigh the ill-will. See, he's also a 2 personality (born on the 11th), so his inherent doormattedness-tendencies will only get hyper-accentuated over time...oops, time for my ginseng bath

― Vik or IKshvaku if you will, will you now?, Friday, 13 December 2002 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

HEY IKSHVAKU! Fancy meeting you here. I started posting here very rarely in the beginning of this year and I'm still posting at RS.com. It's not so bad there- I know what you mean about avoiding controversy and what not but there are still some good debates (and grunge311 is gone. :)
As for that 9 page assignment about rockism, I still owe you one on Mulholland Drive! Besides, I just got finished writing a 30 page paper along with 5 or 6 other ten pagers for my classes and now it's time to relax so you'll just have to wait. ;)

― lou, Friday, 13 December 2002 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Shit, just like Kim I was wondering how he survived mace blows to the back of the head. That used to kill people back in the day.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 13 December 2002 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Aphex :P Didn't even know if you'd remember me, much less remember that you owe me a Mul. Drive essay!! = ) Yeah, I agree, it really isn't all that bad after all (which is why i was stuck there for years!) but I just got tired of what it had become relatively recently precisely because of people like Grunge311 had invaded, but i still miss the old timers! i also like this better i guess for the change, of course (what are your pro and con opinions, i'd like to hear them definitely - email me anytime!), but i hardly am here and i'm very inconsistent, i've just been posting a lot more recently since my comp broke at home and i've been stuck in the library, and due to the stress of finals/papers. a 30-psger, my god! what was it on ? i should email mary sometime since i never responded to her message, but i always forget. i hope guys like yorkeshire and ken (who *didn't* reply my email, ahem!) are doing ok! i still talk to rocky on aim, definitely. stick around here for a while, you always learn something new = )

― Vic, Friday, 13 December 2002 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

perhaps he parked in someones parking spot. it's really tight down there by the paradise...

― kephm, Friday, 13 December 2002 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

What's the frequency, Omoo?!

― Ikstavrh, Friday, 13 December 2002 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

...he should of reached for his revolver.

― kephm, Friday, 13 December 2002 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

HEY Y U ALL UP IN MAH GRILL DISSIN' MAH OLD MONIKER??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

HATERZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Vik AND Vee AND Vic AND THE ONLY *V*ALID V ON ILX, Saturday, 14 December 2002 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Not to shift gears all of a sudden, but: where would I be able to purchase one of these Aphex Twin masks? I want to fuck with the UPS guy's head.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 14 December 2002 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

rofl.. It didn't say "mace blows to the back of the head," it said "mace AND blows to the back of the head"

And "South Side" is horrendous, as is everything off 18, but the rest of Play and his Instinct compilations = classic.

― Curtis Stephens, Saturday, 14 December 2002 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

What song would Momus write if he were stabbed for no reason? (Strictly hypothetical of course.)

But Momus already wrote "Mono No Aware". Does this mean that he has been stabbed already by a rabid fan?

btw, for the record I didn't mean to seriously posit that Eminem masterminded the Moby attack; it just seemed so pathetic that it struck me as funny to picture Em crowding around with a group of "thug" homiez planning to get Moby.
"Yo, check it out, you got to punch that bitch in the face like 2 or 3 times, at least, but don't mention me, yo."

― webcrack (music=crack), Saturday, 14 December 2002 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

If it's true that someone would physically assault someone for making cheesy techno instead of hard-hitting inaccessable cubase opera, then it seems we have arrived at some kind of significant point in the pop vs. IDM divide. Compare "Gescom"'s statements with those of our new raver friend and it's like wow.

However I suspect that this is not really that deep and that "Gescom" is an 18-25 white male with a sense of humor acquired from Jackass and related skate videos, like my AF buddies who purposefully set out to get themselves kicked off of FARK by making obscene anti-semitic remarks for as long as it took. Whoo hoo.

And the people who actually did it probably were more interested in the violence than the victim. Very droogy.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Saturday, 14 December 2002 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Gescom needs to listen to "Protect Write" and THEN try saying Moby killed techno.

Besides, Moby's just doing a poor job of ripping off David Bowie now; he's not trying to BE a techno musician anymore

― Curtis Stephens, Saturday, 14 December 2002 03:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I would like to thank Jesus for the Leap reference.

It meant I did not have to do it and incriminate myself.

I imagine Dean Stockwell yelled HIT HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE HIT HIM for forty-five minutes while putting his fist through things in that way that went on being really funny for five series.

Was there a theme to this thread?

Oh yeah. No opinion. Sorry.

― Hilarious Pseudonym, Sunday, 15 December 2002 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Moby is an fucking swell guy. He signed my shirt at Lollapalooza 95. But you know what? Getting punched in the face is good for you. It builds character. Not to say that Moby has no character, he's a genuinly good guy, but still, everyone needs an assault every 16 or 18 months to keep a real perspective on life

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Sunday, 15 December 2002 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

hes a fucking asshole and deserves whatever he got. he talks so much shit.

― chaki (chaki), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

hes a fucking asshole and deserves whatever he got. he talks so much shit.

Wait wait wait... what?

― Ian Johnson (orion), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:55 (twenty-two years ago)

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