I think that Gibson should put out a "Gibson Les Paul Motherfucker" model. What would the specs be?

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All I know is that they'd have to go to ElectroHarmonix or Orange Amplifiers and borrow some of the Hell from the Hell well, because if you've ever used a Big Muff, you know there's a dollop of Hell in there, and any Orange amp has like, at least 4 or 5 heaping spoonfulls of Hell in it, which makes it sound so good.

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Sunday, 15 December 2002 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

• 3 Hellbuckin' Motherfucker pickups
• Hella neckage on that bitch
• Hellbody construction of solid Satanwood
• Custom Luciferite™ locking Hellmolo
• Super Hell-Ass Metal bits stickin' out the fuck everywhere like some kinda demon shit
• built-in wireless

― Tom Millar (Millar), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom,
Dude, fuck all these ideas about getting a contracting job in The Building, you need to get in touch with the Gibson folk and get a job there so you can tell them what the fuck is up. I'd buy one, and then another as backup (providing the cost is under $100, you know my budget and all, especially after dropping $400 on earings for my wife this Xmas).

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

floating vibrato!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― brains (cerybut), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, for Divebombs, or as they would be called when done on this model, HellBomBs.

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:57 (twenty-two years ago)

the specs should be that it fuckin self destructs if any frickin wanker comes into my shop and plays frickin cheesy blues licks or stinkin metallica ballads or fuckin any sort of noise whatsoever on the godforsaken sack of shit instrument - gibson can't build for shit these days anyhow - bridges misaligned nuts cut in (or not at all) by frickin chimpanzees! there is nothing that will make you hate guitarists and guitars more than working in a guitar shop. you know how techie techno home studio heads get really tedious when they start going on about granular synthesis & filter modulation in regards to gated reverb against dry signal in a random quantized step sequencer (or whatever) - well step aside and find out you sound just as boring about another sound making device. any such novelty guitar would be bought by a spoilt rich kid's parents and he would frickin wreck it out of sheer disrespect for his position of privilege - either that or some architect / doctor / dentist would buy it to put it in a glass case. when will people realise that "blues" wank on a guitar is equivalent to mariah / beyoncé / aguilera oversinging vocal gymnastics - distasteful and done merely as a showy bauble for lack of any serious non-formulaic musical thought to take its place

― bob snoom, Sunday, 15 December 2002 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

damn bob.

And I thought I was salty! :)

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Monday, 16 December 2002 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the combo usage of 'frickin' & 'fuckin' - usually you only see one or the other

― Tom Millar (Millar), Monday, 16 December 2002 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

fourteen years pass...

this article is overall pretty dumb but i'll never tire of stories of the idiocy of the Gibson CEO

“I was trying to help Henry and shoo him away from areas that he was spending a whole lot of money in,” Schon says. “All this electronical, robot crap. I told him, point blank, ‘What you’re doing, Roland and other companies are light-years in front of you, you’ve got this whole building you’ve designated to be working on this synth guitar. I’ve played it. And it just doesn’t work.’ And he refused to believe that.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/lifestyle/the-slow-secret-death-of-the-electric-guitar/?utm_term=.816f7f70044c

― global tetrahedron, Friday, 23 June 2017 15:49 (eight years ago)

― calstars, Saturday, 24 June 2017 19:08 (eight years ago)

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