Search and Destroy: Christmas Carols - After a week of them, I want to start smashing things.

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Search and Destroy: Christmas Carols - After a week of them, I want to start smashing things.

A new easy listening radio station has started broadcasting here, and they have decided to fill the entire month of December with nothing but wall to wall Christmas Carols.
After a week, I've decided the following:


  • Carols played with a brassy vegas-style lounge orchestra == Adventures in Lameness...whereas
  • Carols played on 14th century instruments == Orgasms of Grebtness!
  • I used to think the worst Song of the Season was "Jingle Bell Rock" (the original was dire, and each of the remakes bite 10x worse.)
  • Then I heard a version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" that sounded like a cross between bad spoken word performance art and a "special ed" presentation of West Side Story. For roughly 24 hours this took the high plinth as the worst Carol in the history of recorded Christmas music as far as I was concerned.
  • Then I heard "Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey" and that was exponentially worse. This is currently holding the high plinth as the worst song in the history of recorded sound. I'd rather listen to Pat Boones metalhead album than sit through that song again.
  • The only people that should imitate Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby is Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby.

Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Thursday, 19 December 2002 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Could be worse. What if the only songs on the radio about your chosen religious holiday were by Adam Sandler, and all had the same melody?

That's why when I hear some dumb christmas song, I just say ho ho ho!

Also, that Bright Eyes Christmas album is kinda fun and sweet.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 19 December 2002 04:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I quite liked the Cocteau Twins' Xmas covers.

Mil, Thursday, 19 December 2002 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Search : Angels from the Realms of Glory, Oh Little Town of Bethlehem (UK melody), Good King Wenceslas ... all kick ass minor melodies

Destroy : Away in a Manger, Silent Night ... boooring.

phil jones (interstar), Thursday, 19 December 2002 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I quite liked the Cocteau Twins' Xmas covers.
The mere idea makes my mouth water. Can they be found on WinMX?

Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Thursday, 19 December 2002 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Search: Away in a Manger, O Come All Ye Faithful, Silent Night, Mary's Boy Child (when it ain't Boney M doing the singing), When A Child Is Born (even when Johnny Mathis is), Winter Wonderland; all strong tunes, words that don't clunk to rhyme, and memories of Christmas as it was before Marketing got hold of the concept.

Destroy, with a small (dammit, make sure, make it medium-sized) thermonuclear devise if necessary: The First Noel, with its lame lyrics and pedestrian tune; Jingle Bell Rock (hearing that in Safeway's on Nov 23 was all the warning I needed that Christmas in its full horror was upon us), and White Christmas. No, I'm not dreaming of it, unless you count nightmares about bad Bing Crosby initators.

Special mention search: Tom Lehrer's Christmas song.

Fred Nerk, Thursday, 19 December 2002 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I went for lunch in Chinatown yesterday and were piping over Christmas carols sung by schoolchildren in Cantonese. That rocked.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 December 2002 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

>> The mere idea makes my mouth water. Can they be found on WinMX

Soulseek, yep. Not sure 'bout WinMX.

Winter Wonderland and Frosty The Snowman are two I've got, there may be more?

Mil, Thursday, 19 December 2002 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Search: The Fall's "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing"
Destroy: Anyone that isn't Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby


..except for that Tom Lehrer track, good call on that one.

Adam Bruneau, Thursday, 19 December 2002 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.