Are these the best lyrics ever?

"I am boarding and I dwell in a second-class hotel
It’s a crumb joint in the state of Arkansas
It’s the worst you’ve ever seen, black-eyed-peas and turnip greens
And it’s mostly run by my old mother-in-law

She’s a friend to Kaiser Bill and she lives up on the hill
And her face would wreck a brand new model Ford
When she gets on a spree she takes [?] bark from the tree
From the second-class hotel where I board

She has whiskers on her chin just to make the people grin
And her mouth was made for eating custard pie
She wears number 11 shoes and she’s always full of booze
And she has the influenza in her eye

When she rang the dinner bell all the boarders gives a yell
And they fight each other getting through the door
When the bill of fare was read, two new boarders they dropped dead
And she stopped to pick their pockets on the floor..."

There are another five or six versus, but this is enough to give you a feel...

Wow.