stranger

That I was an intellectual/schizophrenic/pretentious/addicted-to- Radiohead hipster. Well, except for the hipster part. I'm hopelessly unhip.

"Gee, that girl likes the Manic Street Preachers".

Probably wondered where I got the money and the time for it all. The answer to which is, respectively, crack-dealing and neural music implants.

If the stranger were like everybody else who's seen my collection, their reaction would be either total indifference, or "oh, you have a lot of records". Maybe "you still listen to vinyl ?" if I'm lucky. If anyone showed active interest in it, good or bad, I'd be thrilled to bits. I know I'd be excited to run across any collection the size of mine (not that it's monstrous or anything), no matter what's in it.

I actually had this happen to me a couple weeks ago, as there were workers in my apartment over the course of two weeks while they refurbished my kitchen. They didn't really inspect the CDs, but at least three of them commented on how many there were. A younger one - somewhere within three years of my 23, not sure - noticed the complimentary Weezer poster I acquired with the new album, and asked me if I thought the new album was any good. An older one was delighted to hear Johnny Cash one day. This was the extent of the feedback I received from them on my collection.

Most probable response: "Haven't heard of them." Not that my collection is particularly obscure, just that if the stranger were from round 'ere he'd think Oasis were cutting edge.

Heard most often when I still lived in small-town Manitoba: "Don't you have anything GOOD?" Heard most often these days: "How can you possibly find time to listen to all of these?" The people that would be in the position to see the collection would generally have a clue what was in the collection, but would probably think I'm overly hung up on loud guitar rock from the 80s and 90s. They'd probably also think I was obsessive because I alphabetize it for easy retrieval...on top of a couple of subsections (I split off classical, jazz, and the other non-pop/rock items, mostly so I don't have to sort through the whole stack when I'm in the mood for some style in particular). They'd probably think it was pretty sad.

If he saw my mp3s, he would think I have a much faster connection than I actually have. He wouldn't see my CDs because they wouldn't be on display.

So, when is a total stranger going to come into my house and look at my record collection? I like the idea of this total stranger. I imagine this is someone I want to impress. But why do I want to impress them when I only just met them? I don't even know anything about them yet. I guess they're a music expert, cause they're looking at my record collection. So there's a bit of rivalry here - friendly, sure, but at this stage of establishing the relationship, we have to show each other who we are through our record collections and stuff like that. No chance of them excusing my weaknesses because of that time Dad said that my poetry was derivative. Frankly, I'm embarressed about my MP3s. I mean, girls aren't really supposed to know about technology. How am I meant to come across as cute, with this stranger fully aware that I can download things off my computer? Thanks a lot for putting MP3s in my record collection, buddy.

Thanks, Sean. Fuck Western Canada. In BC as a teenager all I got was "Why don't you buy something that I've heard of?"

he/she would see the only 2 cd's that are out and gathering dust on top of the tv..crash test dummies (mmmm) and the cranberries (wtf..)

Probably think I was two people sharing the same living space- probably some wibbling dronerock boy cohabitating with a silly sugary girlpop girl.

I don't know, I think it's a perfectly valid question. It's one of the two things I check out when I visit the house of a new person- their record collection and their books. I guess that makes me a snob. ;-)

That I had a diversity of tastes and interests verging on the neurotic. Which is quite true.

I've said this before - if people come round my house and the first thing they do is start looking at my CDs then they're not getting invited back. I am not my record collection, etc.

Were some Lloyd Grossman type to pry around my CDs and MP3s they'd think I was into indie and pop and experimental in about the proportions I am. Hip-hop they'd underestimate and dance they'd overestimate. They'd guess (semi-wrongly) that the early 80s was my favourite period of music and would probably get my age out by four or five years but frankly it could be in either direction.

My friend Guy expressed it best after a cursory scan for background music one day: "you have so many fucking cds, but I don't even have to pull any of them out to know that they're all shit."

That he wouldn't be able to buy a whole lot of crack by selling this shit nobody's heard of...

Seriously, though - I totally relate to Tom's answer, and it reminds me of an unpleasant incident that I had last summer. An acquaintance from a music mailing list told me that he would be in town, so I invited him for lunch and an afternoon of record shopping. All he wanted to talk about was music - which records he had, which records / CDs I had. Then we went to Dustygroove where he bought about twenty CDs. He had nothing to say about the actual content of any of this stuff. The whole time, he kept saying how he wished he would have been in town longer, because then he could go to my apartment and look at my records. He actually said he wanted to come back for that purpose. I plan to be "out of town" next time he blows through. I always thought there was something creepy about people who come over just to look at your CDs and LPs, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

I get the feeling that may well ask why everything is arranged in a hap hazard manner...and then I'd probably have to explain my 'cataloging system'...I hope they would be impressed, I doubt it, but it'd be nice! What they would think about me...hmmm...a disorganised ne'er do well...oh well! :)

OK, Kerry, that does sound really creepy, and I probably wouldn't let someone who put it like that in my house, fullstop.

But the thing is... every day, people judge you on a hell of a lot *less* than your record collection- you get judged by your clothes, your accent, your hair, a thousand and one superficial things. I'd *rather* be judged by my record collection, considering that I've probably spent far more time, money, and yes, expression of personality and tastes than anything else in my flat. You're going to be judged by SOMETHING. Wouldn't you rather it was something that you *chose*?

Like all these things, it depends how the question is asked.

Oh, I've got little against people checking out my record collection. The key words are "first thing". I've had people round and literally THE FIRST THING they do after saying hello, before sitting down or having a drink or anything, is beeline for the fucking record boxes.

If it makes you feel better, if I was at your flat I'd beeline it straight for the liquor cabinet and then look for a place to have a smoke without disturbing you. I'd probably NEVER look at your albums, except if I really wanted music and objected horribly to something you've put on. Albums = boring.

Tom - I have exactly the same problem. They come to your flat, and then they ignore you completely to stare at rows of flipping vinyl!

I've found the trick is to sit directly in front of the records: then they have to speak to you.

Paul, I have *never* ignored you for your record collection. But that is because it consists solely of Pulp and Belle & Sebastian records! Feh! Now, the computer however...

No. Really. Goodnight. We are signing off. And then maybe we could see a movie...

"liquor cabinet" - I wish. Though with the purchase of my beloved and beautiful bottle of duty free Bombay Sapphire the stage is at least being set.

You don't have a liquor cabinet? Not even a liquor section of a cabinet? What reason do I have to come by your flat, psh.

The term liquor cabinet implies that liquor entering the house doesnt just get drunk immediately. Apart from a nasty-looking bottle of red wine and a bottle of Waggledance which belongs to Sarah Clarke anyway, this is not the case.

Fear not, Ally. I'll make him put in a liquour cabinet or else I'll have everyone point and laugh at him when I'm over in the UK.

So, wait, Tom, when you get a bit of alcohol, say someone gives you some Grand Marnier for a gift, you immediately drink EVERY LAST DROP OF IT and have no need to store it anywhere? Alcoholic.

Recall prior thread in which I laid out my opposition to shots. People who know me give me beer or wine as a present generally.

HOWEVER by the time you or Ned come over there will be a liquor cabinet. I was so impressed by the home bar at the Eurovision party I went to that I've started stocking up. Currently its one bottle of gin next to the Ribena and peanut butter so it can't really be called much of a 'cabinet'.

You don't do shots of Grand Marnier!

This is true. But people have got a general anti-spirits vibe off me. So frankly I wouldn't have known. It's probably one of those things you need a special glass for anyway, in which case fuck that.

You can just drink it straight from the bottle, if you're so opposed to nice glasses. I know what I'm doing in October, buying you loads of mixed drinks, NO BEER AT ALL.

Oh I wont refuse any drink freely offered (except Waggledance). I'm the soul of propriety on mixed drinks, as Pete can attest.

Even Midori Sours? I hear that they cast aspersions on people.

Midori is gorgeous. I take back everything I've said about liqueurs when it comes to Midori.

Right, no more chatty responses for me. I'm a moderator dammit and they put people off the forum.

Yeah, I know. I just said on the burning house thread that maybe we should just have a chitty chat thread going to try to encourage people to be injokey and cliquey over there instead of all over the board.

Anyhow, I'll do another answer to the question. Besides the obvious Manics thing, they'd probably notice I have a lot of pop. They'd underestimate my taste for hip hop severely, since I don't buy that many albums (mainly on the basis that the hip hop/rap section at Tower NEVER GOES ON SALE - what is that about? The man trying to keep the ghetto down?).

They usually say, "Are those shelves IKEA"?

Simultaneously the best and worst thing about forums like these generally is that no one involved ever goes anywhere near each other's houses.

Anyone looking at my CDs would look awkward and then possibly say "ummm...were you sent most of these?" And I would say oh God, yes.

Simultaneously the best and worst thing about forums like these generally is that no one involved ever goes anywhere near each other's houses.

I can change that, Taylor -- give me your address and when I'm over that I'll lurk in shadowy doorways.

Simultaneously the best and worst thing about forums like these generally is that no one involved ever goes anywhere near each other's houses.

That's the best thing about forums like these. As soon as you start disproving this generalization, it all goes to shit. That's why I just posted pictures of my door with a scythe and a huge pick driven into it, I don't want anyone coming to my house. What you can't see in those pictures are the illegal animal traps.

It doesn't go to shit, I've only once had something go to shit and it was over a misunderstanding that should be sorted the fuck out by now, for crying out loud.

I'm looking forward to going to Tom's house one day, looking at his makeshift liquor cabinet, and then shrugging and asking him where the REAL booze is. If that never occurs, I'll be disappointed.

Yeah, nothing went to shit at all, I have more good stories to tell from that weekend and the events subsequent to it than from practically any other weekend. And of course I only put those pictures of my freaky garden shed up so that crazy darts-loving freaks with scythe fetishes would stalk me.

Before or after I smashed in their skulls for touching my shit?

I'm completely befuddled by your post, Mr. The Mod, but it was nearly effective in shutting up me and Otis, so I salute you.

Hmmm, That's a good question. I guess they'd think I was a very strange romantic as I love soft rock, I love some country old & new but I love Straus waltzes as well... What would you think? Gale

― Gale Deslongchamps, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

is your surname real?