ILM 3000! A peek into the future!

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Imagine for a moment that ILM continues onward up to the year 3000.

  • What kinds of threads will be posted in it?
  • What kind of music (and what kind of musicians behaving badly) will inspire debate there?
  • When the cyberminions blood fueds between the Hyperroyal Houses of Sterlinclover and Nedraggetth, which side do you think your descendants will join in the final battle?
  • Will mark sinkers own descendants prove, BY SCIENCE, and beyond a shadow of any reasonable doubt that, yes, Influence does indeed exist...and they have photographs and x-rays to prove it?
  • What kind of demented catch-phrases will it use (aka what will be the "b-b-b-but...", "grebt", "...and can we eat it?" of the year 3000 be?)

Lord Custos Epsilon XVII (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"grebt" will have been incorporated into the standard English language... ILx3K will thus have taken it a step further ("grbte")

Curtis Stephens, Tuesday, 4 February 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"grebt" will have been incorporated into the standard English language... ILx3K will thus have taken it a step further ("grbte")
Actually, this is not as far-fetched as one might initially suspect. I just got done reading Bill Brysons "The Mother Tongue" which is about all the weird way that english has evolved. In 1000 years, someone might look at out old posts like they were written in Ye Olde English, and possibly the only word they'd recognize would be "grebt" (and possibly "pr0n")

Re: catchphrases...I just had a creepy thought while reading Slashdot in another window.
If Slashdot and ILM were to mutually absorb one another, there result would be would be a bunch of very, very scary catchphrases about "In Rockist Russia, the Beowulf Cluster downloads YOU!" or somesuch nonsense.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

oh no Sterlinclover vs Nedraggeth FITE oh no!
gigantic cats will be the main tool of destruction.
http://free.imd.it/masters/MOTU%20toys%20images/MOTU-LF-he-man_best.jpg http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/cattank.jpg
That is Nedraggeth and his loyal tankpus, they will be leading the charge.
People will still be wondering what the heck Fremme Nappa Venatta means, and they will be riding
http://lollers.netfirms.com/catbus6.jpg
CATBUS!

Much thanks to the ILE search engine.

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

YES! *YESSSS!!*
Mr Noodles has definitely gotten into the spirit of this thread.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

grbte grbte grbte grandawtah.

naked as sin (naked as sin), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

grbtizza

Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

In the not too distant future...

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

ILM goes to Burning Man...?

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 5 February 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

speaking of burning....

HONOUR THE IONIZED PLASMA STREAM!
Alex in MegArcology #7,(AiM@AoM.com),February 4 3003 PM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"Byoot MILLAR said we must nort! It is wribten!"

-- Micciotron15779

Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks to genetically enhanced farming, EVERYTHING can be eaten!

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(Thus leaving one less question to be asked)

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

WHAT IS ROCKISM and can it be genetically enhanced so as to be rendered digestable?

Curtis Stephens, Wednesday, 5 February 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm brainloading the new Madonnatron mindcast through my auxillary thoughtrodes as we 'speak', and I have to say it might be the best thing her gel circuitry has ever extruded."
-- Tohm Yu-Weng, February 4th 3003, 5:47 PM (Martian Colony Time)

"BAH. Derivative piffle. Heard better things gurgling out of my sewage reclaimator last night."
-- Professionalist, February 4th 3003, 5:48 PM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 04:08 (twenty-two years ago)


Or here's a Thread from 3003...

It turns out that 'Rap' really was just a fad. (Unanswered, Unread)

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 04:09 (twenty-two years ago)

everyone will be a rapper in the future

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 07:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone who has ever heard Chevy Chase's rap album knows how frightening a thought that is.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"You are all TECHNOIST, and I can't Stand TECHNOISM. I especially hate it when members of Church of Electronicology come to the door of my conapt with their little pamphlets asking 'Would you like a copy of the Techtower' or 'Would you like to let Richard James into your life?'; They're all Phools. Techno is sooooooooo 27th century. Thats way past its shelph liphe. Just let it go. It almost as bad as those Kuntree morons who still listen to that whiney drivel from the 23rd century. BAH."
-- C*lum Robot, February 5th 3003 4:15 AM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"I just intravenously injected the entire ABBA back catalogue..."

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

BRAIN-SHARING 'OUT OF CONTROL'

The cartel dominating the engineering and distribution of 'human personalities' has admitted that it is no longer possible to determine who is what anymore, now that anybody's entire consciousness can be acquired for nothing. "In previous times, personality traits were forged through a long, indeterminate process involving environmental factors and genetic predisposition, but now that anybody can be anything, there's no reason to actually DO anything anymore." Charities also report declining donation due to 'compassion fatigue', in which 'adventure tourists' steal the perceptions of disadvantaged people only to report back that "it wasn't that bad really"

dave q, Wednesday, 5 February 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I PROMISE I will finish the 96 theses. Next week.

mark, s (Cozen), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

dave q and his friends at The PsiIAA (Psionicist Industries Association of Anarchia) are right! Brainswapping must stop. Psi2Psi tools like Mentster, KaZpsi, Morphepsi and especially Soulswap must be put down like the rabid dog-oids they are!
-- M Macross, February 5th 3003, 8:55 AM.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I find it interable that so many neo-Bhangra psongs are being written, composed, sung and psicasted in some sort of "Indian Language." They should stick to singhing Bhangra in the traditional Anglic. If it was good enough for my great-grandprogenitor it should be good enough for this Avril Lavipangrita person. BAH!
-- Rev. Adm. Fortesque Smythe-Punjati (retired), February 5th 3003, 9:02 AM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

This is what, the 17th experimental horse music revival? (And the fifth since horses became extinct on Gaia!) By the way, has anyone read Nedraggitt IX's new transannotation of the first century of the ILX archives -- his dissertcomium claims or-discussion of EHM was a joke based on a typegrapherror. He cites familytrad that the textstrings you find at the ends of some early 21stcen messages, such as :), :-), and ;^}, weren't typegrapherrors, but a pre-ITML humorcode. Did the Blessed Frances Cobain know she shaped her music on a JOK?

-- Q.ziq, February 5, 3003, 14:13pm (Central Venus)

j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean, like, in the old days people used to listen to the same piece of music twice? And it sounded the same each time it was played?

Dude, that sounds boring!

phil jones (interstar), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

They used to also have something called 'Lyve' music. Where musicians would go up on a raised dais called a 'Stayje' and 'Play' (I hope I'm spelling that wright) their 'Enstruments'
Those crazy neanderthals...they were so silly.
-- Moriss Haan, February 5th 3003, 1050 AM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Whats even sillier is how back then they couldn't customize the music to your brainwave pattern, but to some "artists" brainwave pattern.
-- AI Unit 8 Patrin, February 5th 3003, 10:51AM

http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/08/29/01/08/29/0147252">http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/08/29/0147252">details

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Important update: in the future people will still not link properly?

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

the new MBV suXorZ

Aaron A., Wednesday, 5 February 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Be Excellent to Each Other and...
Party on Dudes!

Oops (Oops), Wednesday, 5 February 2003 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Beck putting his artificially-preserved head on a mannequin body is just a ripoff of Captain Beefheart grafting his head onto a badger's body.

-J'oolyo of Planet Gronk, 2.5.3000

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Thursday, 6 February 2003 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

u r all gay genetically inferiorly clones; the rolling stones new album rawks

dyson (dyson), Thursday, 6 February 2003 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

In the year 3030, everyone will want to be a DJ.

3000, however, is less clear.

Alan Conceicao, Thursday, 6 February 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

what do we call the 3000-3010 years anyway, I guess mankind hasn't been saddled with this burden since [i got nuthin]

Aaron A., Thursday, 6 February 2003 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Important update: in the future people will still not link properly?
I kept trying to put a perfectly valid hyperlink in and it kept insisting that I hadn't closed the < /A > tag. Which is stupid, because I was looking directly at the tag and it...was...fine. I actually gave up and went back to just writing the post *without* the hyperlink. But the link was still at the bottom of the post.
But nevermind that...here's this:

"Thats what I love about this forum. The surprising trivia that spontaneously pop ups. Up 'til now, I didn't know that Josephus Dylan's great-grandad was also a famous musician!"
-- Jody Beth Robotron, February 5th 3003, 5:22 PM

"Yeah. Jaccob Dylan was pretty special."
-- Nabiscoid, February 5th 3003, 5:23 PM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 6 February 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

what's with the new HTML tag checker?

It sucks, that's what. It doesn't know a proper tag from a hole in the ground.

-- Kenan Hebert, February 5th, 2003 9:02 PM.
See. I'm not the only one whose having problems.
Anyhow. Here's another:

[Grainy full motion holovid of Jaz Coleman in his new cymech exoskeleton erradicating a crowd full of Avant-Clone fans]
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO NOT HONOUR THE IONIZED PLASMA STREAM?!
Anyhowe. Just posted a new thread: Cover Connections MCXVLII - "Albums with nearly the same Olfactory Stimulation Data"

Alex in MegArcology #7,(AiM@AoM.com),February 4 3003 PM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 6 February 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

My God Busted were right!!!

Tom (Groke), Thursday, 6 February 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

right about what?

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 6 February 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

If everyone followed music theory, we'd all still be playing simple, primitive shit like Mozart or Rick Springfield. (The only two composers' legacies that archaeologists found any evidence of.)

dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 6 February 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

"My paternal unit works as an Musarcheologist at the Landfill behind the ruins of the old seedee pressing plant and keeps finding old sonic media. They are these huge circles of metal, bigger than my hand! And the music on them is recorded in long strings of binary digits. (My FHORD! Haven't any of these barbarians ever heard of 1024-hexidemical qbit audio processing?!) But using my spare temporal fold processor and a laser inferometer, I was able to play back the music. I'm going to start copying about 100 these onto a data crystal. Anyone want a copy?
-- shlongdroid, February 6th, 3003 5:05 AM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 6 February 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't know that Josephus Dylan's great-grandad was also a famous musician!"
Yes, I recently found out that Paul McCartney was in a band *before* Wings.
-- Tracer Digimanipulator, February 6th, 3003 5:20 AM

Really? What band was that?
-- ArchDuke Sterlingclover, February 6th, 3003 5:21 AM

If my mythology professor is correct, they were called the Rolling Stones. Apparently he was a percussionist, I think.
-- Tracer Digimanipulator, February 6th, 3003 5:22 AM

What kind of music did they play?
-- Archduke Sterlingclover, February 6th, 3003 5:24 AM

Electro, I assume. But they had no Neurophon player. I heard it was all played with electric 'string' instruments.
-- Tracer Digimanipulator, February 6th, 3003 5:24 AM

Huh? How did they play these 'string' (quantum superstrings?) things without getting electrocuted?
-- Archduke Sterlingclover, February 6th, 3003 5:24 AM

I assume they wore rubber gloves.
-- Tracer Digimanipulator, February 6th, 3003 5:25 AM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 6 February 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Thats it. I'm out of ideas.
Somebody else take a turn.

Hey! This is post #42!
Who wants to set some Vogon poetry to music?

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 6 February 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

>enjoy poetry

Aaron A., Thursday, 6 February 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Analog: the new digital? Initiate bioautomated discursive algorithms.

L333 (Leee), Friday, 7 February 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Many apologies L333...my bioautomator has crashed. Please stand by while my higher processes reboot.
grind grind grind grind
Okay...I'm back...what was the question again?
-- Tracer Digimanipulator, February 7th, 3003, 11:07 AM

A special warning for when pop music and viruses converge:

ATTN! Do not upload the new track by the Schylock Grahame Collective! It contains a virulent form of pspyware!
-- Quartis Stephens, February 7th, 3003 12:00am

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

In the year 3002 the NME will announce "What a year! 3002 was the year that the New New New New New Rock Revolution swept the nation."

In 3003 someone will post to ILM wondering if a new My Bloody Valentine album is due.

Lord Marmite (Lord Marmite), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but who takes NME seriously anymore. They haven't said anything relevant or interesting since 2992!
-- God Emporer Custos, February 7th, 3003 5:01 PM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:07 (twenty-two years ago)

zager and evans to thread!

di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm having visions of a Phil Spector clone escaping from prison to assasinate the Prime Minister of Disney World.

Curtis Stephens, Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

UPDATE: I was halfway done copying those old seedees onto a datacrystal when a Time Patrol Chronopod warped in and out jumped these three dyeoods in black suits. They spoke some kinda oriental language (neo-cipangu? mega-Korean? couldn't tell) They said they were "from the Ar-ai-ay-ay" and were banging on the door barking "Violating Dyem-Cee-yay! Violating Dyem-Cee-yay!"
Well, I raised the house shields and chased them off my transport pad with the particle beam emitter.
Does anyone know what this Dyem-Cee-yay is?
-- shlongdroid, February 8th 3003, 6:00 AM

I think its the scripture of some old fascist cult from the 22nd century. I don't remember it all. I think they were all burned at the stake back in the Sony Riots of 2017.
-- quantum mechanical sound of jim, February 8th, 3003, 6:02 AM

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 8 February 2003 05:31 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...
genetic resequencing/resuscitation complete!

model 7333 (Leee), Monday, 11 August 2003 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

has anyone psycho-assimilated Madonna's head's latest appropriation of tuvvan throat singing?

model 7333 (Leee), Monday, 11 August 2003 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought Supreme President Leaderdroid CharlieDanielsTron banned it all!

Nate Patrin v3.6 (Nate Patrin), Monday, 11 August 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry, but my guess is music will actually be dead by then.

Cacaman Flores, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

No, not dead. I prefer to think of music as fighting evil in another dimention.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

In 3005, MTV celebrated its 1000th anniversary of never again having played a music video. They aired a special in which the cast of Real World 4496 (Alpha Centauri) presented a historic overview of what music videos were. I was astonished to realize that director WuQu O completely ripped off a MadonnaHead video for the final sequence for his Enter the Drag Queen.

j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

retro 17,080's b.c. will be the next big craze as kids flock to dance caves to hear their favourite dj's hit things with sticks.

dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm brainloading the new Madonnatron mindcast...."

Lord Epsilon, I am calling my next project Madonnatron and that's that.

colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I would advise against it.
Madonnatron, MadonnaHead and The Church of Ciccone are all in an ugly three-way lawsuit. MadonnaHead alleges that the MadonnaTron isn't a clean room reimplementation, but is based on stolen brain endocies downloaded from MadonnaHead's own backup server.
I've heard that LauperTronics is trying to get involved, claiming that all versions of Madonna from version 1.0beta on up are all deriviative works on CyndiBSD v4.2, and thus they deserve a cut of the cash anyway.
Damned organleggers and cyberghouls, every last one of them, I say.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

So what did you think of Busted's 7th album? (Oh, Tom did that, sort of)

Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey fellow trons/tronites! I've heard the Kraftwerkatron have finally decided to leave theĆ­r chryogenic chambers and produce a full album of new material. Of course it's still just a rumour...

Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you seen Keith Richards? It's a wonder how he's not dead yet!

Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)


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