Most laughable attempt to 'stay current' by fading band?

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Village People's "new romantic" phase? Spice Girls going r&b? KRS-One collaborating with Goldie and "representing like the internet"? Whole new genre!
You MUST hear Frank Sinatra's "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown".

― tarden, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anything by Metallica after they cut their hair.

um... anything an 80's glam rock band did after grunge hit in the early 90's. Think Post-CC Deville/native tongue era Poison, or Post- Vince Neil Era Motley Crue...

any fake indie rock label that licences electronic music to stay hip...cough, cough, Matador...

David Bowie's Mid 90's Drum and Bass phase...

― Michael Taylor, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

thats a bit tought on matador isn't it? although releasing the Lesser album smacked of hopeful and clueless guessing

― gareth, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Even though I really, really liked it, erm, Duran Duran's "trip hop" album, Mendazzaland, was a bit... erm, yeah.

― masonic boom, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tricky collaborating with Alanis and that singer from Live on his new record. heheh

― Stevie Nixed, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I found Madonna's Ray Of Light album laughable, but I guess it worked for her...

― JoB, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Billy Idol's Cyberpunk

― Patrick, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Santana's "Supernatural," featuring today's HOTTEST artists

― Blake, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do clothes count? I nominate Cliff Richard's cycling shorts.

http://www.sir-cliff.com/dist9.jpg

― Madchen, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Soup Dragons: 'I'm Free'

― Stevo, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Rod Stewart covering 'Cigarettes & Alcohol' and 'Rocks'?

Damon Albarn in Gorillaz?

Primal Scream's entire career?

― Nick, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bowie's ridiculous EARTHLING album, where he aspired to go all drumn'bass (only to drop it like a soiled pair of shorts on his next album, HOURS).

U2's "dance" album, POP

― alex in nyc, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Christina Aquilera working w/Swizz Beats and Timbaland for her new album? I suspect it will be worse than the Spice Girls/Rodney Jerkins farrago.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(i like earthling, he sed quietly)

― mark s, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ha! AT last fellow dissers of Earthling. God its hard to think of artitsts thatDONT try to "stay current" and end up flopping. For fuck's sake, just make music, don't even LISTEN to modern bands, ageing rockers! We must lock up Bowie far from any radios and make him return to The Wall.

― -- Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Actually, I think one exception to this would be Robert Plant, whose first three (sadly forgotten) solo albums were really nice cool weird shit, then he started doing this awful new-wave Zep on 'Now & Zen' and went full-on back to doing stuff that was like Zep, except not as good.

― tarden, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lou Reed has gone through his share of weird spells, but does anyone recall around '84 when he tried to get hip with the kids by recording "The Original Rapper" and "My Red Joystick" and doing tv ads for really ugly honda motorscooters?

― Fritz, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

enough with the alerts already

― Ed Lynch-Bell, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Can I mention the goddamn-useless JESUS JONES here? Was their entire wretched career not a completely laughable and /<- l4me attempt to stay "current". Christ, some of the cobblers talked by their singer in interviews (drifts off into sleep of aged)

x0x0

― Norman Fay, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Good god, Madchen, I never thought even Cliff would sink that low.

Def Leppard going, ahem, funk-metal on "Slang" must rate pretty far down the scale.

― Robin Carmody, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I heard Michael Jackson has collaberated with Limp Bizkit and Santana on his new album. Wonder if that's the worst combination ever...

― hmmm, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

BTW, the Limp Bizkit et al on Michael Jackson's new album was actually a vicious HOAX perpetuated by some staff writers at The Face.

That Cliff Richards thing is SCARY! And you thought Thom Yorke in his alien reptile from outer space outfit was bad!

― masonic boom, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The most tragic example of this has got to be Run DMC's latest album Crown Royal. They do a song with Kid Rock that sounds like Kid Rock, they do a song with Method Man that sounds like Method Man, they do a song with Everlast that sounds like Everlast, they do a song with Nas that sounds like Nas, they do a song with Fred Durst that sounds like Limp Bizkit. You get the picture. All the time Run keeps telling us how important a group Run DMC is. DMC says nothing at all because he has lost his voice. There is no doubt that this is the worst album of the year. And I used to be such a big fan...

― JoB, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is the Jacko-Durst-Santana collaboration ALL ON ONE TRACK? 'Cause that would rule.

― Nick, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Everything by Bill Laswell?

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey, I'll second the votes for Bowie's Earthling...and extend it to Black Tie White Noise, too. Bowie has thrown out some real clunkers lately. Still, I feel compelled to point out that none of them is as gosh-darned laughable as Shaun Cassidy's album Wasp, where he covered all of his favourite new wave hits (including Mssr. Bowie's "Rebel Rebel"), thus alienating not only people interested in the original artists, but scads and scads of formerly adoring teenyboppers! What an upset!

― Sean Carruthers, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Black Tie White noise = irredeemable. Earthling = fun. You are all normous snobs.

― mark s, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bowie's ridiculous EARTHLING album, where he aspired to go all drumn'bass (only to drop it like a soiled pair of shorts on his next album, HOURS).

But, Hours is much, much worse than Earthling. Earthling isn't too bad an album and does kind of make sense following Outside (which was fantastic).

Hours was dreadful, miles worse than Earthling. Hours was laughable, Bowie getting back, artificially, to his old method of writing. And the lyrics - all pathetic whines about breaking up.

You're David Bowie, you're married to a model, you've just had a baby, you have a ludicrous amount of money. You can't get away with singing "Where's the morning in my life?/Where's the sense in staying right?/Who said 'time is on my side'?/I've got ears and eyes and nothing in my life/But I'll survive your naked eyes/I'll survive

― jamesmichaelward, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought Neil Young's venture into garage took the piss somewhat. I was also a bit perturbed by Roger Daltrey's drum n bass excursion. Don't even get me started on Chas and Dave's Nu Metal phase.

― Dave, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anything where a fading band tries to "utilize the democracy and power of the internet" to offer songs smacks of desperation... I remember Todd Rundgren pioneering this (CD Roms, etc.), and it seemed weird at the time, but I let him get away with it. Anything Axl Rose does, Perry Farrell with his 'trance' record... you get the drift...

― Andy, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I know that "Neil Young's excursion into garage" was supposed to be a joke, but does anyone remember 'Trans'? Lately it's been 'critically re-evaluated' but it still sucks.
Re 'democratic possibilities of internet' - bands start to suck when they explore democracy PERIOD. Creedence Clearwater Revival?

― tarden, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sonic Youth's version of "Computer Age" was good tho

― tarden, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Transformer man... doo doo doo doo doo... transformer man... doo doo doo doo doo... your eyes are shining on a beam through the galaxy of luuuuuuuurrrrrrrvvvve..."

A song so truly abominable that we had it on our ansaphone at a commune I once lived in.

― masonic boom, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Easy-listening singers go synth-pop - early 80's - Neil Diamond, "Heading for the Future" - has anybody heard this atrocity? Neil's husky "Brother Love" bark over a weedy Casio. Believe me, this is nowhere near as interesting as it sounds.
Although Melissa Manchester's "You Should Hear How She Talks About You" is a forgotten classic!

― tarden, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Some might say The Carpenters went too far with Klaatu's "Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft," though I forgive Karen and Richard even if they look very silly and pseudo-New Wavey in the video. One wonders what they might be doing now if Karen had lived-- guesting on a Massive Attack or Cibo Matto album?

― X. Y. Zedd, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

By the way, what about Pat Boone's heavy metal-goes swing album? Of course, he's made an entire career out of being several steps if not miles behind. (Non-Americans or those too young to remember: Pat Boone started off in the '50s by doing whitewashed versions of Little Richard songs; he wound up being a sort of Born-Again Christian cut- rate Vegas act. Like Nosferatu and Dick Clark, he refuses to die. Extra credit for being the father of Debbie, who sang what might be the world's worst song ever, "You Light Up My Life.")

― X. Y. Zedd, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Re. Pat Boone--even more pathetic was when he recently spoke up on behalf of Eminem. At the time I was expecting him to break out the leather and join E. and Elton John (speaking of blatant "stay current" stunts...) on the Grammys.

I once read something to the effect that in the 1970s Broadway legend Ethel Merman recorded an album of her classic show tunes...set to disco beats. Never heard any of the results, but the mind boggles.

― J-Lu, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But I almost felt kind of sorry for Pat, because after he did his metal album all the right-wing christian conservatives who were his primary audience disowned him -- they took the whole project completely seriously and thought he had started following Satan.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My God, the Ethel Merman disco album!! I almost bought it once after I saw her sing something from it on the old "Merv Griffin" show--this was about the same time I actually met her outside CBS studios in L.A. Frightening beyond belief! My mind reels with the names of all the stars in the late '70s who tried to "go disco"--from Rod Stewart and "D'ya Think I'm Sexy?" to Charo's "Love Boat" theme issued on pink vinyl. WFMU's "Incorrect Music" radio program is a goldmine of such treasures, as are those Rhino "Golden Throats" compilations. Please don't get me started...

PS I've actually heard most of the Pat Boone album and must say that the idea of "grunge metal swing" isn't uninteresting. And because it almost ruined his satanic career, we owe it much. What DID he say in defense of Eminem? Too little time, too many people to hate...

― X. Y. Zedd, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Since you are going down that path - let's not forget the high priestess of camp, Mae West. Incorrect Music has a great clip of her singing "Love Will Keep Us Together" with Timothy Dalton.

― Jason, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jason, that's from Mae's last movie, "Sextette," where she (80- something) is newly wedded to he (about 30). Also featuring cameos from the likes of Regis Philbin and Alice Cooper. The funniest thing about the movie is that no one ever, ever mentions Mae's advanced age; instead, she's treated as if she's sweet 21. The old girl never lost her sense of humor. Sorry, I'll try to stop adding to this thread now.

― X. Y. Zedd, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bowies' Hours is his best musically since 80's Scary Monsters. I wouldnt call Earthling a laughable attempt. Got some good moments on their and he still did it in HIS style. Lou Reed on the other hand did a horrible video called "I love u Suzzane". The moment where a double is used when he dances is so bad one wonders if it was meant to be a joke all along.

The Pat Boone album is a great joke and a novel idea. More laughable attempts are from Metal hair bands that go grunge. Check out Dokkens last album "Shadow Master" or something like that. Or when RUSH did a rap in the middle of Roll the Bones. Or when Aerosmith cranks out another lifeless soul sucking ballad. Or Elton John doing whatever he does in the past decade Or Madonna who gets interest only in what shes wearing.

― Cash Lone, Friday, 22 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

The last Santana album...Supernatural indeed.All it was was a Now That's What I Call Music album with added Santana guitar.Or something like that.

― Damian, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As much as it pains me to say being a Jane's fan, Perry Farrell's DJ schtick. Ugh. I saw him at a record release party today, and it was quite sad. He brought along four drunk smoking models to dance alongside him. They looked like soft porn lesbians. The worst part is he couldn't mix worth crap.

― bnw, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What's wrong with Trans? I think that it's Neil Young's best Eighties album. Freedom (the conventional choice) is the one that sounds really dated (except for "Rockin' the Free World," of course, though who knew in 1989 that George the Turd would be in the Oval Office?)

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"The night has a thousand saxophones / So get out there and rock, and roll the bones."

Although I'm not cynical enough to suggest that ANYTHING Rush does is an attempt to stay "current".

― Kris, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

> You MUST hear Frank Sinatra's "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown".

Actually, the choice bad Frankie cover is "Mrs. Robinson."

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Earthling is a really good album if you're not comparing it to any important names in D&B. It's D&B-rock, not D&B. Reznor is (well, was) industrial rock, not industrial. It's a slicker and more mainstream-integrated version of the original concept. The Downward Spiral, while being a great industrial-prog-rock album, is certainly no Second Annual Report. This is, of course, a trait of Bowie's, as well--Young Americans was no Righteous Bros album. It's like comparing peaches to nectarines and making a value judgement.

Anyhow, I don't think Bowie is ever consciously lost in desperation. He's still cycling through genres and looks, just like he always has done (with minor exeptions for the 80s). Hours sold well, so he probably figures he's doing something right.

― matthew m, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three weeks pass...

Frank doing "Mrs. Robinson"?!? ohmigod. But now does it stack up to Sammy Davis Junior's version of "Shaft"? Who's the big black dick...

― Nick Bane, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

six months pass...

David Essex on TOTP in 1982, dressed in a tuxedo and sundry shiny accoutrements, doing amusing robot-dance moves and singing "Me and My Girl (Nightclubbing)". Priceless.

― Darren, Saturday, 9 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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