Article Response: The Third Door #3

Josh dissing: bad. Otherwise, general chuckleheadedness. I think I understood a fair bit of it this time, too. It was all about irony and erections and camp, right?

I feel personally insulted. I am not ironic!

Yes you are. Ironic bastard. You're like Alanis Morrisette.

As long as I'm ironic in the wrong sense of the word, that's fine.

Gluecifer's "Leather Chair" is high-class leisure rock for a world where "grab a chair" doesn't mean sit down, it means fight...

"Austin's got a chair! Austin's got a chair! And he's beating Lita! Beating a woman with a chair! This is sick! Austin's gone mad!"

WHAT I WOULD DO WITH BARRY BONDS 500TH HOME RUN BASEBALL?
What we'd want: Luxury Box....Opportunity to battle for the CF spot....Challenge Benard in a tough guy stare down....Year's supply of Cha Cha bowls and Krispy Kreme donuts...Game of pool in Kirk Rueter's shed...Barry's leather chair...One of Bobby Estelella biceps...Night on the town with JT Snow so we can pick up on his leftovers...Visiting bullpen catcher when the Atlanta Braves are in town. We are not in it for the money! - Marc and Jon, government workers

That's the best music essay I've ever read!

The "gay" thing gets old very fast. If I knew you in person I would bother you incessantly if you spoke that way, and that would no doubt incite you to violence.

Other than that, though, I think it shows a very definite improvement over the first two, and I'm not just saying that because I prefer my music (?) columns to talk about records.

The gay thing, like our "How gay is that?" ("Fucking gay") catch- phrase, is just something that caught on with me and my friends, it's as cartoonishly uber-masculine as everything else about us, people should just laugh at us and take us for the idiots we are. If it was bothering someone I was talking to in person, I would just stop it. I'm the least violent person ever, Josh, I'm sure you'd have trouble inciting me to violence.