This is the thread where all of us who weren't cool enough to be ILM regulars huddle together sniveling because the cool kids don't like us.

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I mean really. What the hell.

Yeah, some of us are corny indie m'f'ers, and some of us aren't, and some of us know something about music, and others of us are learning, and our opinions will never be as cool as the jock-like ILM-letter-jacket-wearing seniors. So let's just sit at our own table/island/whatever. Someday, maybe, if we are pure of heart and floss every night and all that shit, they'll accept us...

Ah, hell, who am I kidding. They'll never accept us. Let's just be goth punk nihilists then.

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 05:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I heard the initiations on the pledges this year are going to be extra brutal. Rumor has it Alex in NYC once made a Destiny's Child fan eat his spunk off a Ritz. We're still meeting on the roof of the gym at midnight, right?

― Famous Athlete, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 05:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I think there are a lot more DC fans among the ILM 'regulars' than among any of us new people. But thanks for the heads-up...

"Hey, anyone wanna cracker?"
"Uh, no thanks, Mr. Alex SIR!"

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 05:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I AM THE ALPHA MALE!!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 05:50 (twenty-three years ago)

damn, you southern hemisphereans are really into the whole dominance/submission thing, aren't you?

(*hopes*)

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 05:55 (twenty-three years ago)

for realz, though: doesn't anyone else new get sick of not being allowed to play any reindeer games?

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 05:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I brought American Spirit Lights and a Shins CD!

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I fully support this thread.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:09 (twenty-three years ago)

CLASS ACTION!

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:10 (twenty-three years ago)

With my tastes, I feel more at home on ILM than I do talking about music in the real world. That has nothing to do with being "cool" -- I just feel left out of the party all the indie-obsessives are having (and I like a lot of indie rock).

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:14 (twenty-three years ago)

i fully support this imagined schism

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:15 (twenty-three years ago)

what about the thread where everyone talks about the new lil kim album? Huh? Huh?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:22 (twenty-three years ago)

What?

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate all of you people. I am off to go cheer for Alex in NYC and donut bitch's football team. GO TEAM ILM! KICK THEIR ASS! RAH RAH RAH!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 06:39 (twenty-three years ago)

does it really matter if you are partially ignored by the "cool" ilm folks? i mean, as long as you have the right to post your opinions, ideas, etc, why should it matter?

i dunno. i suppose its nice to be accepted fully into an online community, but if you arent, is it really worth it to get discouraged by it?

― todd swiss (eliti), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 07:56 (twenty-three years ago)

This is how the Columbine tragedy started out, you know.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 08:13 (twenty-three years ago)

not to mention the War of Northern Aggression

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 08:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't worry, Neudoym. The real cool kids don't complain. They just get on with it.

― s samson, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 08:16 (twenty-three years ago)

db: I'm an ILM jock!
msdicey: I guess so!
db: the question is
db: what things do I do to threaten, belittle, and torture the uncool ilm kids?
msdicey: Give them wedgies?
db: what qualifies as a musical discussion wedgie?
msdicey: Hmm, I don't know.
db: posting clever photo pairings of Geir Hongro and other bald guys?
db: y know cuz bald guys look funny! Hawhawhaw
msdicey: That was pretty lame. Esp. the shrek one.
db: so much for mending the imaginary schism

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 08:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi everyone, whats happening? *i am only going to hang out with you guys until i'm accepted*

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 09:10 (twenty-three years ago)

*tries to straddle fence*

― Dave M. (rotten03), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 10:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I've started to make a compilation provisionally called "Cheeky Girls". So far:

tATu - All the Things She Said
Blu Cantrell - Hit em up style
Ms D - It Takes More

erm
that's it. I'm getting desp, so considering adding Sashimi v Pink Robot (cos it's about a kick-ass gurl)

suggestions. (other than "don't do it, crazy fool")

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 10:12 (twenty-three years ago)

surely Missy and Eve

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 10:26 (twenty-three years ago)

i dont know where i fit!!!

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 10:40 (twenty-three years ago)

WORK IT! (o course) thanks.

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 12:03 (twenty-three years ago)

What in God's name is going on in here?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Rumor has it Alex in NYC once made a Destiny's Child fan eat
his spunk off a Ritz.

I'll have you know that the eating of my spunk is by invitation only, and there is a lengthy interview process prior to those invitations even being considered. Suffice to say, no mere fan of "Bootylicious" is likely to gain access.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I LIKE EMO AND DAVE MATTHEWS BAND

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:39 (twenty-three years ago)

*parks himself on a nice comfy seat on this thread and orders a white wine sprizter*

Fuck them. Fuck their island thread, fuck their fucking FAPs, fuck their hoity-toity "i was posting on alt.music.jacobsmouse in 1884" attitude, fuck their in-jokes, fuck their Dan jokes, fuck their Ned jokes, their Graham jokes, their two greasy fingers wedged up Momus's arse, fuck their fuck me / hate me / love me threads, fuck them, fuck them, fuck them.

"This isn't a complaint as much as just wanting to get some "fresh air", and seeking a symbolic and ironic analogy for it". Bollocks, Bitch, it's elitist, separatist self-aggrandising rubbish that will only serve to put people off posting and even reading ILM. If the quality is low, improve it, don't whine about how everyone isn't up to your high and mighty standards, you onanising little Hitler.

I have one last thing to say to all of you in-crowd.

YOU ARE OLD. YOU ARE REALLY FUCKING OLD.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

As someone who's been dragged into this without my desire or permission, Lynskey, I respectfully ask you to fuck off.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm gonna beat all yer asses after school, 3pm parking lot, be there.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:08 (twenty-three years ago)

If you've been to a FAP, does that make you old-ILM? 'Cause I don't think I qualify...

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

"This isn't a complaint as much as just wanting to get some "fresh air", and seeking a symbolic and ironic analogy for it"

prize to lynskey for the neatest self-referential joke on the thread

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Congratulations Paul!

― s samson, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I like Lambchop can I hang out with your gang?

― s samson, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:16 (twenty-three years ago)

(wit + insight + knowledge - complaining^2) x frequency = "insiderness."

― g.cannon (gcannon), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Whoah, I was totally under the impression that we were *all* a bunch of dorks. Fuck.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks, thanks, Samson, I'm all beaming and smiles, I'm glad someone spotted the irony. I just felt a few people on this thread wanted to say something along those lines and were too afraid of offending Ye Old Warriors of ILx. I, however, remain an anti-social shut-in who is about as likely to meet the people who live next door as any of the people here, so I don't give a flying. I was also interested in how many responses would appear in the time it took me to go the shop and get some cigarettes. 6. Not bad.

And I couldn't help but recycle the "you're old . . " line. Me and a friend were in a taxi coming back from Liverpool and when were stopped at a set of traffic lights he spotted two middle aged women in the car next to us, so he winds down his window, signals for them to do the same, which they do, before screaming the above insult at them until our car pulled away. Good times.

Is this a climbdown? No. I didn't like Donut Bitch's thread or that sort of attitude anywhere, in real life or on the net. If you want to be elitist, go somewhere private. If you have a beef with a certain set of ilxers, don't blurt it out where you know it is going to be seen by everyone involved.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:32 (twenty-three years ago)

That is awesome.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I have no idea where I belong *sigh*

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Okay, so I started this thing, and then went to sleep, and awoke to see that it's gone completely mental. Which is what I wanted. But not to the point of imagining anything (and I mean anything) stuck up Momus' ass.

I came to this thread because I love music and I review music and I wanted to talk about it with the best talkers I could find. All y'all people are spread out all over the globe (H. Arefe-Aine, please get your Addis Ababa self back on the forum), everyone has different tastes, nobody here feels exactly the same way I do about music (probably Dan Perry is closest but he can certainly deny this if he wants to), I've learned a ton of stuff here.

But the constant reminders about how things were back in the halcyon beautiful days of love: forget it. On the one hand, Jess is fronting here with the "imagined" part, because he was just schisming the other day about how all the new people are corny; on the other hand, Tom was just saying that he thinks ILM used to be more indie back in the day. So which is it? I don't know. Anyone who wants to say that this is a false dichotomy, read a thread or two.

Which is not to say that I really care. I have no problem staying at the freshman table and waiting for Bill Phillips to send Jon Lantz over to tell us that on the count of three we all have to get up and go over to the table with the retarded kids and sit there for the rest of lunch or Phillips is gonna kick our ass. On the other hand, me and Joe Cook refused to go. So what if we had to hide from Phillips the rest of the year? We kept our pride.

And that and a whole bunch of $2.99 vinyl and used CDs is all I really have around here. So that's what I'm going with.

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I am not cool. I'm a Captain in the Army. I'll never be an elite pop culturalist. Sigh!

― s samson, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)

lynskey that 'good times' story is the saddest thing i've ever heard in my life. wanker

― zemko (bob), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:46 (twenty-three years ago)

The "old ILM sucks you are all elitist fuckers" threads were more creative back in the day ;o)

― aged lurker, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:46 (twenty-three years ago)

fuck their Ned jokes

D'oh!

I'm more sad that two of my good friends DB and MsDicey had a fun chat and I WASN'T AROUND. :-( I shall now run AIM 24/7 and never get any sleep.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I dont know where I stand. Am I cool or not? Here are some facts:
1. I started at ILM a month before the server switch.
2. I am not a music critic, and I don't think I could ever be one.
3. I am not dissing music critics, nor am I dissing myself.
4. I am too broke to keep up with music.
5. Most of the music I have bought recently is fairly canonical,
and will probably not spark heated debate (eg Beethoven's 5th)
6. I love techno and house but nobody seems to discuss it anymore
and I have not bought any of this music in a while, mostly
because I can only afford to buy discounted CDs at the store that
employs me, and we don't stock any electronic music.
7. I just listened to the Future Sound of London yesterday, for the
first time in years, and it is much better than I though it was.
8. I just saw an excellent avant-garde jazz show Sunday night.
Anyone want to talk about it?

Thats all, Thanks!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:15 (twenty-three years ago)

"am I cool or not?" = subtext of most ILM posts?

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:18 (twenty-three years ago)

am i sane or not? = subtext of some of mine

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Am I Dan or not? = the question I ask myself every day.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 62 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

(to get momus' attention, substitute 'inkwell' for 'saki')

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

for the record Neu I'm probably newer and less respected than you are!

― g.cannon (gcannon), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:26 (twenty-three years ago)

thing is, most of the people who claim to only listen to early cash money records or uk garage in reality come from a corny indie motherfucker background and still probably resemble corny indie motherfuckers (indie guilt ahem)

I have a pair of Evisu cordorouys.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:29 (twenty-three years ago)

cordorouy = tweeist material next to tweed and wool

wanna get yourself some wall st silver cotton infused baggies mate

― schnell schnell, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I think we all know Jess's history is as a corny hardcore motherfucker (and ho boy do I congratulate him for moving on from that one).

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

mark p

We did get drunk at the Junos once. I was with Aidan Crawford. I was either writing for Scene magazine or Kingston's Pic Press at the time. I can't remember.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:33 (twenty-three years ago)

and i don't try to disguise it!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I think I beat all of you. I used to cry to "foolish" by superchunk when I was 14.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

So I guess I was just dipping my own pigtails in the inkwell and blaming it on others, huh? I'm a canny indie motherfucker!

Plus I'm not all that indie.

g cannon, I resent the implication that I'm "respected." That ruins my whole steez.

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

The only past enthusiasm I have available to disguise is that youthful period where I was really, really into Kwame.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

i drunkenly teared up at "foolish" at 29.

qualification:
(a drunk mac jumped into the crowd and sang the 2nd verse to my drunk gf... shortly before we broke up).

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I still have the first Kwame album. I think I sold "A Day in the Life" though.

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Its the man we all know and love!

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha, i just made an old skool cd with some Kwame on it.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:41 (twenty-three years ago)

and i still have a few polka dot ties.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:41 (twenty-three years ago)

haha i drunkenly teared up at "foolish" last summer! and even worse the acoustic versh of the one that goes "you're up in the tree/throwing rocks at me" or whatever.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:44 (twenty-three years ago)

jess that was last summer i wonder if it was at the same moment

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Go Chris V.! Seriously, sometimes I like the generic funky-drummer stuff on The Boy Genius better than Step into the Arena. "Push the Panic Button," "The Mic is Mine," and all that.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

And his Slick Rick voice for the corny lines: "I came here for something funky to happen / is this Christmas? Cause everybody's rappin!" Or that "put Vaseline on my lips / and yo they call me greased lightning!"

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Slick Rick has my favorite rapping voice.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:54 (twenty-three years ago)

the image of kwame alone late at night with just the computer screen glow is crucial, he's like "smart guy"

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:56 (twenty-three years ago)

slick rick is an underacknowledged progenitor of all that garage rap schtuff

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

and doug e fresh was kickin some d'n'b beats

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

He's the Boy Genius!

Side note: does anyone know what music-industry Holland family Kwame Holland was related to? He only got to make records when he was so young because he grew up well-connected.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

is this a test? was it the h/d/h hollands? that would kik ass

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:00 (twenty-three years ago)

AMG: Born Kwamé Holland, he grew up in New York City's jazz scene, receiving his first set of drums from Lionel Hampton and hanging out with Stevie Wonder as a child.

well, at least it wasn't Michael Jackson he hung out with (lack of laughter)

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe his parents were just non-descript hipsters. Or maybe it's a big secret. Maybe the Hollands are in the Rap Relics Underground Vault, the one where they keep Slick Rick's other eye.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Great Adventures is my favorite rap album.

One of the few redeeming features of Nas's new single is that he sounds like Slick Rick on a few verses.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Slick Rick's other eye is actually the cornerstone of the all-seeing, all-grasping worldwide Masonic empire...and it's looking over in our direction

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I am already planning on being slick rick for halloween.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:24 (twenty-three years ago)

This is great, guys, do you see how Kwame has turned this thread wonderful?

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Next time a thread gets all snippy and frowny I'm resorting to this:

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd100/d137/d13703olnf5.jpg

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Can we just start a thread about Kwame? I know I started this damned thing but I cringe every time I see the title, which didn't come off exactly as semi-ironically as I thought it would.

It's like my life.

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:27 (twenty-three years ago)

I think most of the people feeling alienated are projecting or something. If you pay attention, all of the regulars who might say something snippy to you are just as likely to be a dick to another regular.

― Dan I., Thursday, 6 March 2003 06:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Plus I'm not all that indie.

No you're not! So don't be all Mr. Paranoid! :-)

Anyway my beef is w/ people who ONLY like indie and look down on all other kinds of music.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 March 2003 07:20 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm not cool, i don't even like rock writing. but space dust are cool, and they're playing tonight and i'm going to see them in a couple of hours. which means i am cooler than alll of you put together.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 6 March 2003 07:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd be more than happy to give away some copies of my old skool mix, check it out. Who would want one is a different story.

1. Paid In Full - Eric B and Rakim
2. Strictly Business - EPMD
3. RAW - Big Daddy Kane
4. Vapors - Biz Markie
5. Straight Outta Compton - NWA
6. Lodi Dodi - Slick Rick and Doug E Fresh
7. Talkin All That Jazz - Stetsasonic
8. I Got It Made - Special Ed
9. Your Gonna Get Yours - Public Enemy
10. Sometimes I Rhyme Slow - Nice N Smooth
11. The Symphony - Marley Marl and guests
12. My Philosophy - BDP
13. Gimmee That Nut - Easy E
14. Buddy - De La Soul
15. My Minds Playin Tricks On Me - Geto Boys
16. Only Ewe - Kwame

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 6 March 2003 13:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Chris: "minds playin tricks on me" is the second to last track on my hiphop mix cd as well!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Thursday, 6 March 2003 14:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyway my beef is w/ people who ONLY like indie and look down on all other kinds of music.

YES (also substitute 'pop' or 'melodic! not rhythmic James Brown crap!' for 'indie' when needed)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:50 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm new (started posting today) and i sort of hope that this board will be a good resource for intelligent music discussion and not degenerate into typical messageboard nonsense (with rivalries, elitism, attitudes, snobbery, etc.). maybe i'll be wrong.

― john fail (cenotaph), Friday, 7 March 2003 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Y'all smell like wieners.

― happytoes, Friday, 7 March 2003 01:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not sure whether or not I'm a regular, but I want to join this thread.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 7 March 2003 01:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Would this be a good place to mention that at least half the time, browsing ILM makes me feel really inadequate as a music writer (and even a music geek)?

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Friday, 7 March 2003 01:29 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

― gershy, Sunday, 20 April 2008 07:16 (eighteen years ago)

lolz

― stephen, Sunday, 20 April 2008 07:25 (eighteen years ago)

All things must pass.

― Sandy Blair, Sunday, 20 April 2008 08:16 (eighteen years ago)

john fail otm

― tremendoid, Sunday, 20 April 2008 08:29 (eighteen years ago)

thank god we all listened to him

― latebloomer, Sunday, 20 April 2008 08:31 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.thebeatles.com.hk/images/solo/john/records/cdalbums/the_us_versus_john_lennon.jpg

― tremendoid, Sunday, 20 April 2008 09:06 (eighteen years ago)

john "lennon"

― tremendoid, Sunday, 20 April 2008 09:06 (eighteen years ago)

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