Worst Famous Band

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I place Kiss front and center. As a friend used to say, 'awful kanawful.' Ace Frehley is kinda cool, I guess, but combine the marketing, the make-up, the mindlessness, and the sheer lack of songwriting ability, and you're barely scratching the surface. I honestly cannot believe self-respecting rock critics / superfans / record nerds actually respect them - i wouldn't spill beer on them. Give me Huey Lewis first.

No iconoclasts please - back it up. Don't say "Bob Dylan' and run.

― roger adultery, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 08:39 (twenty-three years ago)

"the marketing, the make-up, the mindlessness" - why are these bad things again?

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 10:19 (twenty-three years ago)

bob dylan

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 10:27 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe he meant, "Strip those things away, and you're left with crap songs". or maybe not.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 10:29 (twenty-three years ago)

blondie

― dave q, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 13:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Dave Matthews Band

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You Too

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Bon Jovi

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Re Kiss songwriting ability - I agree, the amount of technical clinkers and harmonic 'clams' on those records is extraordinary. At the risk of hairsplitting though, how many of these flaws are in the execution as well as the conception?
For example, the chorus in the studio version of "Nothin' to Lose" is noticeably weaker than the pre-chorus, but is this due to lack of attention paid to the effect of sequencing parts of the song - or a) [concept angle] an error of judgement forgiveable in that the pre-chorus itself (change from 2-to-3-to-4 part harmony on top, while song shifts from diatonic to chromatic with simple ascending half-step) is a very unusual yet logical departure from the verse, or b) that Peter Criss appears to be drunk and incapable of remembering and understanding (never mind singing) complex vocal phrases like "Shake it dow' o' yr huh', rendering the decision to allow him to sing the choruses that probably wasn't QUITE as bad an idea as it would seem if it were a bad idea an even badder idea
(Subsequently proven false by Criss vox on "Dirty Livin'", "Hooligan" [gtr solo of which has the BEST 'PINCH' HARMONIC of ALL TIME (the one at the beginning of Bar 10 of the solo, I think the 'real note' is an A being bent up to B, it's all about the placement, right on top of the '1', was very nearly equalled a few years later by Steve Stevens on B Idol's "Worlds Forgotten Boy" with that 19-octaves-above-D1 (w/trem!!!), also a perfect lyric non sequitur worthy of Robert Hunter ("Got a '35 Chevy with a '55 frame/ Can't even spell my name/ Dropped out of school when I was 22/ What can I do, to satisfy you?"], and the big dumb monster-truck boogie "Baby Driver" which sounds like they wrote in revenge for an imaginary ZZ Top comment about them being "tenderfoot city-boy faggots" or something, like Queen's "Sheer Heart Attack" handbag punk.)
A clue to the strengths and weaknesses of the songwriting abilities of Kiss may be found in the Hard-Ons' cover of "Lick it Up", in which the singer makes no attempt to recreate the original order of lyrics, preferring to just bark out random snatches from same with a cordial-but-loose relationship with the beat. I have to say that this version doesn't seem to have as much rhythmic/motivic propulsion as the original, which is either because the original structural edifice proved resilient enough to prove resistant even to modification that announced itself as such, or because they play it at half-speed

― dave q, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Any further disparaging comments about Kiss will be met with a significant amount of scorn.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

SHIT QUICK READ THIS FIRST - above should read 'execution NOT conception'!!!

― dave q, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Kiss is truly fucking terrible and they take themselves way too seriously.

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:33 (twenty-three years ago)

KISS = fun.

Hating KISS = hating fun.

― paul cox (paul cox), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Jon, you live on a vast globe of wrong.

Kiss have become truly terrible, that much is true, but NEVER have they taken themselves seriously (could anyone wearing seven inch heels and greasepaint?) They take the highly profitable business of "being Kiss" seriously (let alone their herculean appetite for excess and hedonism), but as far as their music goes, it's virtually impossible to be taken seriously....unless, of course, you're a humorless cheese monkey.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:38 (twenty-three years ago)

U2 obviously. In fact Bono is probably the worst human being I ever saw in my life (oh, and Sting too)

― Dadaismus, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Of course they're fucking terrible and take themselves way too seriously, but I'm just a bit uneasy about this 'lack of songwriting skills' premise! "King of the Nighttime World" - where's the fuckin' tone center there, eh? Back it up, too (actually I'm really curious)

― dave q, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Gene Simmons essentially straightedge? I appreicate awful rock music excess, but there's something wrong with people who bang groupies sober.

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:44 (twenty-three years ago)

'but as far as their music goes, it's virtually impossible to be taken seriously'

Well then it should be easy for you to answer my question about fuckin' tone centers then, bring it on

― dave q, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I maintained that they don't take themselves seriously. I never mentioned anything about the technical aspects of their songwriting.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 14:53 (twenty-three years ago)

The answer to this question, as to so many similar questions, is Grand Funk Railroad. Topic closed.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

The Who - maybe five good songs.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh so wrong, hstencil.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Alex this is just my opinion. Aren't you glad I didn't say Kiss?

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 15:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Peter Criss appears to be drunk

Only 'appears' to be?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah, Bob Dylan for me too. Ha. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Is this worst FAMOUS band or worst band that a lot of other people (around here) like?

Because none of the suggestions have even come close to the trainwrecks that are Styx, Starship, Robert Palmer, later-period Genesis, Gloria Estefan, ....

Start naming the truly awful ....

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Korn

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:36 (twenty-three years ago)

KISS do not rock.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

KISS do not rock.

Yeah,.....like you would know.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Honor the greasepaint!

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn skippy!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:04 (twenty-three years ago)

the Who - maybe five good songs.

"My Generation"
"Magic Bus"
"Baba O'Riley"
"Boris the Spider"
"Won't Get Fooled Again"
and.....er....
"Eminence Front"

THERE ....you're wrong. That's six!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I could never stomach the Eagles, as a collective or in their various solo projects.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:07 (twenty-three years ago)

"Baba O'Riley" is only half a good song.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I like all of those Alex except "Eminence Front." Oh and that now that I think about it, I'd replace "My Generation" with "I Can See for Miles."

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't MAKE me start listing Who songs!

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 17:16 (twenty-three years ago)

the who's ratio of good songs....1/9
the kiss's ratio of good songs....1/12

both bands are stinkers...and Dylan maybe has 1 good song, but i haven't heard it yet, (just giving him the benifit of the doubt).

― ddb, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 18:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Once my band is famous, we'll SOOO OWN THIS.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

The Eagles.... oooooooooooooooooooh yea

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 18:45 (twenty-three years ago)

>>Start naming the truly awful .... <<

Hmmm....Spyro Gyra, Creed, DC Talk, Limp Bizkit, albums by Def Leppard or The Scorpions after 1982 AD, Michael Bolton.

-
Alan

― Alan Conceicao, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 18:50 (twenty-three years ago)

There's this great part in the Burn Collector book where Al (the author) realizes he's at some train station mentioned in a Scorpions song.

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 18:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Creed or Korn might own this if they stick around for a while but for legacy, product, popularity, etc. I'm gonna vote for Kiss. There's bands I HATE more (U2), but I'll admit they make better songs. My girlfriend bought Double Platinum and they're the definitive Flat Tire Band, where even when they're good, there's some plodding element or something bugging me.

I think Kiss get away with a lot because it feels like a chore, an anticlimactic thing to say they suck. Plus interviews are great with Paul or Gene. They're funny guys, make kickass videos but song-for-song, they're pretty fucking worthless, especially in relation to their esteem. But again, if Korn and Creed stick around this long, they'll probably have Kiss beat easy.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 18:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Bob Dylan is not a band.

Aerosmith get my vote. They're just mind-numbingly mediocre on almost every level.

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Jefferson Airplane were also pretty terrible (worse than the Grateful Dead, I think, because no one ever talks about how bad the Airplane could be).

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

What about Bob Dylan and THE BAND?

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Grateful Dead, without a doubt. They had NO good songs. And their followers stank, too.

― kate, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:19 (twenty-three years ago)

In a hippy-that-hates-hippies shockah, nickalicious agrees with Kate 1,000,000,000,000%.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:27 (twenty-three years ago)

actually, I think jefferson airplane is worse than the GD too. slick's voice is trying to hard to tell me that what she is saying is Important. JA = the ultimate in "our little pop song is a fucking revolution" bullshit.

there are a few rolling stones songs that i really love, but most of their stuff is not that impressive to me.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:47 (twenty-three years ago)

wait i take that all back... the doors!!!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:48 (twenty-three years ago)

did any artist actually say "Our Little Pop Song Is A Fucking Revolution"? I really want a copy of that one.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:49 (twenty-three years ago)

ah, kate, this experi-mentalist noizeboi loves "Box of Rain." Dang.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:49 (twenty-three years ago)

no. and i am actually willing to agree with that attitude at times.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I rock out with Aerosmith, but not as much now as I used to. They were great songwriters, but they burnt out badly. And Eminem is hardly the first rapper to use "Dream On"--my guys Original Concept did that in 1988 with "Prejudice."

Worst famous band: yeah I gotta agree that the Doors look pretty bad after the first album, which was a good little pop album for a while.

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 21:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Black Sabbath is worse than Kiss, the Doors, Grand Funk RR, the Eagles, Aerosmith, even Journey or Foreigner, the latter who actually did one song I kinda like..."Waiting for a Girl Like You." Heart was bad but again, one kinda decent song...Boston is all right. Chicago comes close, though, that is some horrific shit. Yeah, I say Black Sabbath, the true nadir of idiot hippiedom-shading-into-goth, actually. Proto-Goth as practiced in Ft. Wayne, Indiana perhaps. The Guess Who and BTO are wholesome stupidity by comparison, I think.

The Who had 10-12 good songs, didn't they? Pretty much all the early singles, the first side of "Sell Out," I believe I like "Little Billy," "Pinball Wizard" has a very nice fade-out guitar thing going. So, more than 6.

Black Sabbath.

― Jess Hill (jesshill), Thursday, 6 March 2003 00:16 (twenty-three years ago)

OK - I also agree with The Who being kinda lame. So many of their songs sound like jingles, even before they were actually USED as jingles. Example: Sing the chorus to "Who Are You" - now, sing "Food Emporium" to the tune. Fun!

It's not that I don't enjoy 'fun music' - not at all - AC/DC is as fun as it gets. But I remember growing up, i saw pictures of Kiss, and couldn't wait to hear them - they looked so EVIL and sinister. Imagine my surprise when I finally bought Destroyer (their 'best' album). Even Shout at the frickin' Devil rocked much, much harder then and now.

All who nominated U2 as worst are so so wrong. war is a masterpiece. Sure, after The Unforgetttable Fire, things unraveled, but give credit where it is due.

Everyone who said "Dylan" ought to have their heads examined. Nuff Said.

Black Sabbath? The Dead? yall are crazy.

― roger adultery, Thursday, 6 March 2003 00:56 (twenty-three years ago)

All who nominated U2 as worst are so so wrong. war is a masterpiece. Sure, after The Unforgetttable Fire, things unraveled, but give credit where it is due.

Everyone who said "Dylan" ought to have their heads examined. Nuff Said.

Black Sabbath? The Dead? yall are crazy.

― roger adultery, Thursday, 6 March 2003 00:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Black Sabbath is worse than....

He that cannot appreciate Black Sabbath is surely without the capacity for love.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 6 March 2003 01:38 (twenty-three years ago)

OK - I also agree with The Who being kinda lame. So many of their songs sound like jingles, even before they were actually USED as jingles.

Hmmm. Certain you aren't speaking of those interludes on the "Who Sellout" album now? :-)

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 6 March 2003 01:49 (twenty-three years ago)

no, I mean fucking "Bargain" - "Squeeze Box" - etc. I like Love Reign O'er me, that's probably the only Who song I've ever liked.

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Thursday, 6 March 2003 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

status quo

― gaz (gaz), Thursday, 6 March 2003 02:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not gonna get like Alex In NYC about it (does everybody's mama like Black Sabbath? And cannot a mama love? Eminem's aside?), I do have to speak up for Black Sabbath. Children Of The Grave, Symptom Of The Universe, Sweet Leaf, Paranoid, yeah, yeah, yeah...too much good stuff.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 6 March 2003 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate - how can somebody with a professed penchant for drones, cosmic shit and unorthodox standards of personal hygiene hate the Dead!!!?

― dave q, Thursday, 6 March 2003 11:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I would have said the Doors, but they're not totally devoid of merit, I guess: I just can't stand Morrison.

The Who's best songs DO sound like jingles => this is why they are GOOD.

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 6 March 2003 12:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm a very loving human being. I have a big tolerance for idiot-rock of all kinds; I love people who love numerology, satanism, astrology, and 'ludes even. I can't even say the name without laughing, I'm laughing now: Black Sabbath.

― Jess Hill (jesshill), Thursday, 6 March 2003 15:40 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

The Darkness, don't they just irritate you...

― fear of the dark, Tuesday, 16 May 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

'combine the marketing, the make-up, the mindlessness, and the sheer lack of songwriting ability, and you're barely scratching the surface.'

i think the first things you list can cloud the fact that they DO have songwriting skillz. i would say CONSIDERABLE songwriting skills musically if not lyrically. dave q's post on Nothin' To Lose is over my head but i dig that chorus. It's kind of Dollsy and the piano is a nice touch. I think one of KISS's best influences is bubblegum. It's easy to make a case that, on paper, bubblegum sucks. There's so little to it. But it can also be fun. Kiss takes that cheese and muscled it up with hard rock. I don't think it was that easy to pull off otherwise more people would have cashed in on the lucrative synthesis. So much rock songwriting has literally *nothing* to distinguish it. KISS has actual hooks. That fact alone prevents them from being worst famous band.

― Carlos Keith (Buck_Wilde), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

Black Sabbath.

-- Jess Hill (jesshil...), March 6th, 2003.

REPLICANT

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

Bon Jovi

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 22:32 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I'm no huge Kiss fan, but they're a trillion times better than Styx, as mentioned above.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 22:37 (nineteen years ago)

radiohead, people that like them are just kidding themselves, imo.

― lovethefrench (lovethefrench), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 22:49 (nineteen years ago)

"Kiss takes that cheese and muscled it up with hard rock. I don't think it was that easy to pull off otherwise more people would have cashed in on the lucrative synthesis."

lots of people did. not just bubblegum and glam bands, but hard rock bands too. all before kiss. for years. and punk bands did it too. heck, alamost everyone was doing it. kiss just had the best gimmick to reel in the 10 and 12 year old boys of the world. that was their true genius.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 23:13 (nineteen years ago)

Any punk rock band that has ever reached the Billboard Top Ten.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 23:28 (nineteen years ago)

MAJOR BAD:
-Coldplay
-U2

INDIE/SORTA BIG BAD:
-The Decemberists
-Sufjan Stevens
-The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I will not say a word further, for fear of ostracization. But Christ, Sufjan Stevens makes me want to kill people...what a shit.

― trees (treesessplode), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

Are R.E.M. famous?

― Monty Von Byonga (Monty Von Byonga), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 00:03 (nineteen years ago)

this thread is kind of dumb, but the answer is probably post-Exile Stones for acclaim/attention + time heralded?

― The Boy Who Cried YSI? (Freud Junior), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 00:29 (nineteen years ago)

'lots of people did. not just bubblegum and glam bands, but hard rock bands too. all before kiss. for years.'

How many years you talkin'? Electric Warrior was about 3 years earlier. Alice Copper a little before that. Glam, yeah, but what hard rock are you talking about? I agree KISS was not the first but who else in America was right at their sweet spot musically (no pun intended)? i wish i knew because i really like that hard and hooky combo. i think the broadness of KISS' success was due to losing the androgyny of British glam/glitter while keeping the theatrical appeal. the makeup gimmick was huge obviously but only when combined with getting away from the Dolls' wardrobe and being unmistakably macho in their sexist lyrics. based on the demos, i think their music was pretty well formed early on; it's like the development was more in perfecting the right image. Then once they settled on it, follow the grass roots Grand Funk Railroad model. My feeling on KISS is that just because their songs are not primarily (if at all) responsible for their success doesn't mean a good number of them aren't pretty good. Maybe the silly lyrics even suit the music but they are still harder to defend.

― Carlos Keith (Buck_Wilde), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 02:58 (nineteen years ago)

i wish i had the time to name every hard rock band and garage band and bubblegum group from the 60's and 70's that combined nursery rhyme simplicity with loud guitars, but i have to go to bed. you can start with the troggs and work your way forward.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 03:37 (nineteen years ago)

no Dave Matthews mentions WHAT

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 04:19 (nineteen years ago)

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