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I'm serious, whenever I see this gal I can't help but think she has a serious hygiene problem and probably stinks like a dead rat from every orfice. You could not pay me enough money to give this girl head. I dunno, that's just what I think when I see her.

I like my female rock stars to have some degree of beauty or elegance (Shirley Manson, Tori Amos, Sarah Nixey) or at least be cool if they can't be cute (Justine)... The music sucks as well.

But why does NME seem to translate an ugly chick on stage as some sort of strong female figure? Can't they just be honest and say: 'If that rolled out of my bed on a Saturday morning I'd be right down at the nearest Health clinic to test for crabs'????

― Calum Robert, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i take back anything i ever said about female representation on ilm....FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Let me guess, you hit on her, and she had her minders fuck you over?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

calum seriously can you stop hanging around our playground and muttering about sex

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

If I was to hit on someone and have their minders beat me up then I'd make sure the kicking would be worthwhile. I'd hit on Mariah Carey for instance.

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Why can I just tell every time it's a Calum thread?

Oh, cause it's so fucking offensive it makes me want to claw my own uterus out!

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs stink, but it's nowt to do with the personal hygeine or attractiveness of Karen Ohdear.

― kate, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Is he trolling?

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

haha i think you'd be welcome to mariah at this point

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

no jon, sadly he is a regular and this is his schtick

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

He's a regular troll.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

depressingly regular.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes Jon, I think he is (again) no jess, just coz he's a regular doesn't mean he isn't trolling.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Rarely am I'm moved to such generosity, but I am so ready to start a collection to buy Calum a couple hours with a nice blind, deaf prostitute ( no offense to blind deaf prostitutes).

― Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh, cause it's so fucking offensive it makes me want to claw my own uterus out!"

You know Kate, mebbe it's just my dumbass sense of humour but this made me laugh out loud. YOU should be a rock star!

Carey - I don't need to pay, but thanx anyway.

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Depressingly effective too. A simple DNFTT to take the bold writing off is all we really need.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

please christ just STOP.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum, fear not. Karen O wouldn't give you the honor of kicking her out of bed so there's nothing to worry about. I don't like the YYYs. But I love Motorhead and I'm sure Lemmy smells like a barn and that doesn't bothers me in the least. Stink on.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

How old is Calum?

― Roger Fascist (Roger Fascist), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

its amazing how effective his simple trick is. why don't ppl stop bothering with him?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

roger- apparently he's old enough to have a degree (this q has been asked a no of times BTW)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze3237g/images/yyy5.jpg
as a fuck, son, i will presume you suck!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Because he is fodder for bored office workers. Once you realise what his schtick is, it stops affecting you. But it's just one of those things of, when a flasher shakes his penis at you, the best thing you can do is roll yer eyes and go "Oh god, again with the penis flashing" and not be bothered.

― kate, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

A degree in what? Gender politics?

― Roger Fascist (Roger Fascist), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe he's not a horrible asshole and is just a fucking anti social loser who gets off on pushing the buttons of ILXers?

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio - the thing is, I'm just being honest. Come on lads, if someone said: 'Karen O or Hilary Woods' which one would you pick?

And for the ladies - whenever I've had music discussions with the fair sex they've not exactly had the nicest things to say about Mr Brown or Mr Gallagher and, believe it or not, women DO say things like: "I wouldn't suck him off at gun point".

Only the guys at ILM wouldn't know about this coz I fear they don't know any. Girls that is.

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

And it's a masters now.

Ta.

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

dig the hairsplitting there, Jon

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone else think that scene in Jackass: The Movie where the guy pees on snow and then eats it and pukes up was amongst the funniest things EVER?

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

That says it all, just right there. Yup. Reading Calum's posts is like watching a guy pee in the snow, eat it and vomit. It's gross, it's stupid, and you're not laughing with him, you're laughing AT him.

― kate, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

But as long as you're laughing Kate, as long as you're laughing...

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum - this is the worst I can say about you. You bore me. You don't shock me. You don't offend me. You don't impress me. You bore me. You are a 'lad's lad' from England. Typically hiding behind some strange uber-maschimo attitude because in reality you want to fuck all your 'lad's lad' friends. Thus you go into overdrive with all of this maschimo. Just go and fuck a guy and get it sorted out Calum.

― Samson, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

jon, can you post that troll definition in huge fuck off bold font please cuz it's funny

― schnell schnell, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

'calum is gay because he's a mysoginist' - nice argument

― schnell schnell, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

The guy is shitting his pants about something, obviously!

― Samson, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I will now insert my obligatory 'bleh', turn on my heel, and without ever looking back, leave this thread to rot.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Just don't start another 'I Love You ILM' thread.

― Samson, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"You are a 'lad's lad' from England."

Hahahaha, you couldn't be more wrong. I'm not even from England! And, what's more, I fucking hate laddism (FHM, Loaded etc). My fave bands of all time are The Smiths, Suede and Pulp. I'm more Brett Anderson than Liam Gallagher my friend.

I'm 100% comfortable in my sexuality and being straight, your belief that I'm gay does not offend me or bother me.

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Your sadder than expected. Your an anglophile. Fuck a guy and sort it out, Calum

― Samson, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

troll
1. v.,n. [From the Usenet group alt.folklore.urban] To utter a posting on Usenet designed to attract predictable responses or flames; or, the post itself. Derives from the phrase "trolling for newbies" which in turn comes from mainstream "trolling", a style of fishing in which one trails bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. The well-constructed troll is a post that induces lots of newbies and flamers to make themselves look even more clueless than they already do, while subtly conveying to the more savvy and experienced that it is in fact a deliberate troll. If you don't fall for the joke, you get to be in on it. See also YHBT. 2. n. An individual who chronically trolls in sense 1; regularly posts specious arguments, flames or personal attacks to a newsgroup, discussion list, or in email for no other purpose than to annoy someone or disrupt a discussion. Trolls are recognizable by the fact that they have no real interest in learning about the topic at hand - they simply want to utter flame bait. Like the ugly creatures they are named after, they exhibit no redeeming characteristics, and as such, they are recognized as a lower form of life on the net, as in, "Oh, ignore him, he's just a troll." Compare kook. 3. n. [Berkeley] Computer lab monitor. A popular campus job for CS students. Duties include helping newbies and ensuring that lab policies are followed. Probably so-called because it involves lurking in dark cavelike corners.
Some people claim that the troll (sense 1) is properly a narrower category than flame bait, that a troll is categorized by containing some assertion that is wrong but not overtly controversial. See also Troll-O-Meter.
The use of `troll' in either sense is a live metaphor that readily produces elaborations and combining forms. For example, one not infrequently sees the warning "Do not feed the troll" as part of a followup to troll postings.
-- The Jargon File

troll
1. v.,n. [From the Usenet group alt.folklore.urban] To utter a posting on Usenet designed to attract predictable responses or flames; or, the post itself. Derives from the phrase "trolling for newbies" which in turn comes from mainstream "trolling", a style of fishing in which one trails bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. The well-constructed troll is a post that induces lots of newbies and flamers to make themselves look even more clueless than they already do, while subtly conveying to the more savvy and experienced that it is in fact a deliberate troll. If you don't fall for the joke, you get to be in on it. See also YHBT. 2. n. An individual who chronically trolls in sense 1; regularly posts specious arguments, flames or personal attacks to a newsgroup, discussion list, or in email for no other purpose than to annoy someone or disrupt a discussion. Trolls are recognizable by the fact that they have no real interest in learning about the topic at hand - they simply want to utter flame bait. Like the ugly creatures they are named after, they exhibit no redeeming characteristics, and as such, they are recognized as a lower form of life on the net, as in, "Oh, ignore him, he's just a troll." Compare kook. 3. n. [Berkeley] Computer lab monitor. A popular campus job for CS students. Duties include helping newbies and ensuring that lab policies are followed. Probably so-called because it involves lurking in dark cavelike corners.
Some people claim that the troll (sense 1) is properly a narrower category than flame bait, that a troll is categorized by containing some assertion that is wrong but not overtly controversial. See also Troll-O-Meter.
The use of `troll' in either sense is a live metaphor that readily produces elaborations and combining forms. For example, one not infrequently sees the warning "Do not feed the troll" as part of a followup to troll postings.
-- The Jargon File

― LEVEL 5 CHAOTIC ELVISH WIZARD CASTING LIGHTNING BOLT (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum...

Morrissey would batter you senseless with gladioli for some of the comments you've made on here.

If you're more Brett Anderson than Liam - does this mean that you ARE in fact a (please don't laugh - this quote DID come from Brett, but we all know he's a retard anyway)..."bisexual who's never had a gay experience"?

And I'd need a balaclava to disguise myself to see something as vapid as Jackass The Movie. Even if Steve O has a sizeable penis and Knoxville's a fox.

― russ t, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

ha Calum sez:

I'm more Brett Anderson than Liam Gallagher my friend.

does that means he is bi but not experienced gay sex yet?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

BWNHAGEs, they're so rad.

― Arthur (Arthur), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Nah, but I thought it was cool how Mr Anderson (a straight man as he later admitted) managed to rile a few people up with that. The drummer was in the room at the time (who is gay) and said 'I'm a bi-sexual man who's never had a hetreosexual experience'. I meant my comment more in that I'm not a big thug in a puffer jacket drinking beer. And I hate sport.

That guy who spent time with that big lettering. Dude, you need to get out more (though that goes for everyone on here!).

I think Steve-O is funny as fuck.

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Or I'm 'more Jarvis Cocker than Liam Gallagher' if it makes things less confusing for you.

Morrissey would batter me? Is this the same Morrissey who ILM people would no doubt shit a haystack over because he once said the National Front deserve to have a platform for their views because of Freedom of Speech?

Hmmm?

― Calum Robert, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

WHY DO WE CARE THAT YOU THINK SHE'S UGZ?

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

God. Nothing more boring than the exploration of Calum's psyche. Yawn. As done by brit pop 1995. Take my advice.

― Sonny, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"Your an anglophile"

Up yours Samson you pigeon molestor.

How do you work this out? Do you judge everyone by what music they like (and I only listed 3 bands you knob)? Isn't this all bit Mary Whitehouse? Mmmm? And where, dare I ask, are you from?

― Calum, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

calum-ny in deed.

― arch Ibog (arch Ibog), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Brett only riled people up because it was such a pompous, stupid thing to say. I mean, if you think you're bisexual, then just go out and have a homosexual experience already. It's not like it's hard to do. Especially if your a neo-glam pop star.

I suppose his heart was in the right place, but it was really just an irritatingly arch way of saying "I'm a straight guy who really likes gay people and gay culture and feels that he has more in common with that world than the 'straight' world."

Anyway, Karen O is pretty.

― Arthur (Arthur), Wednesday, 26 March 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you are not gay. You are too dull. Way in the closest where the briefest fling was a jerk to Jarvis Cock'err missus. But still a bore. Sigh.

― Samson, Wednesday, 26 March 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 16 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

what of Mommy & Daddy then? that girl is "Karen O ... kay". the guy is "Tattooed Willie Aames". point your ire at them, for it is they who truly suck.

― mosurock (mosurock), Thursday, 27 March 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

Re-open!

See, I've been thinking about this and with the video for their single being played on MTV 2 all the time, I've noticed that Ms O chooses to present herself in a sexualised context. Thus, we see here lying back legs spread on stage gyrating her crotch at the audience, holding two mikes in her mouth like a double blow job and doing various lewd things with her tongue. As such, I think I have the right to JUDGE her in this context and say - Karen O, don't flaunt yourself honey coz it would take all the money in Brian May's bank account to convince me to put my head up her skirt! Uergh, this bird is GROSS! Seriously, she makes me want to heave with that goofy face and that bad personal hygiene. Can't she at least wash and look more cuddly and cute like Emma Bunton?

And the music is poo as well. Seeing as you asked.

― Calum, Thursday, 1 May 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

holding two mikes in her mouth like a double blow job

Telling me off with her lightsaber cocksucking blues!

― mclusky, Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

She's not cute, but she's hott.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember her saying in an interview how she put a finger up the ass one one of the guys in the band so he came.

― mclusky, Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

What, do you mean while she was blowing him? Or just, like, during a show?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

calum & dumb little buddies: FUCK OFF

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I second that.

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

How big is your cunt dear? Can you pull it over your head dear?

― summer, Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Zeig Heil Fritz. "Iz it safe?" "Ve hav vays of making zu talk"

Basically - stay out the thread or I'll notify the authorities to your past!

― Calum, Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

See? Karen O can speak openly about sex and it's okay coz like 'hey female liberation all that' but I say that giving this chick head is equatable with sticking your face in an old man's nappy after he's digested ten curry pot noodles and I get all sorts of hell for it. Karen O looks like she needs a nice scrub and a wash. Although she is sooo gross looking. This is the female equivalent of Liam Gallagher. I mean, she's definately not a record contract from blowing anyone!

― Calum, Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

She looks like the bastard child of Feargal Sharkey and Mary the old punk from Eastenders.

Rancid.

― russ t, Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh god! Why this thread again???

That's it, I'm sending "the boys" round!

FLY, MY PRETTY ONES, FLY!!!
http://www.drizzle.com/~mooser/monkeys2.jpg

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Take your stinking hands off me you damn, dirty apes!

― Lord Custos Taylor (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 1 May 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Attica! Attica!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 2 May 2003 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

calum seriously can you stop hanging around our playground and muttering about sex
hahah what better to place to be then? music=sex. duh.

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 2 May 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I really dont get this Calum ILx thing, he isnt that offensive, well no more than Gary Bushell, his attempts at upsetting people are, lets face it, lame. Yet he has people really irritated, he has developed a posse of similar minded unfunny pals. So why do people react to it so vehemently, this question is poor even by calum standards.

Calums crew are the equivalent of the kids who hang around a phone box, giggling about blow jobs and trying to look tough, the fact remains you could kick each and everyone of their asses.

― james (james), Friday, 2 May 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I know nothing about Karen O but I'm using this as an excuse to bash Alexis Petridis, the worst music journalist on the planet (and that's in the face of some very stiff opposition). From the Guardian, a few weeks back:

"Orzalek cuts a striking figure. Peering out from behind a helmet of black hair, she is stylish but not styled, neither coquettish sex kitten nor guitar-toting tomboy. Mainstream rock music has not really seen her like before."

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Patti Smith anyone? You'd think that the fact that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are from Noo Ywak might have given the dolt Petridis something of a clue.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 2 May 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

... from the same article:

"Y Control steals a riff from Steve Albini's ferocious 1980s art-rockers Big Black..."

and yet, in the next paragraph:

"...it's difficult not to be impressed by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' chutzpah and originality"

The former present in rather greater quantities than the latter it would seem.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 2 May 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Patti Smith? God, that's bumping this woman up a bit.... Patti Smith sold a few records in her day, you know - unlike this bunch of NME writers nonsense that no fucker buys.

Morelike Saffron Republica minus the red bits and the sex appeal (ish).

― russ t, Friday, 2 May 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

So is anyone gonna step up to the Karen O challenge? Who would give her a minimum of half an hour of head?

― Calum, Friday, 2 May 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I would. Yes, I would. I might shower with her first, though. But stinky does not necessarily = not hot.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.dotmusic.com/images/yeahyeahyeahs/live_02_zoom.jpg

― mclusky, Friday, 9 May 2003 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

She looks annoying.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 9 May 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum -
if anyone ( or thing) allowed you to, you'd give them at least half an hour 'head'.
And be shite at it, too, young lad.
Now back to them crusty old Fiesta and Razzles......

― russ t, Friday, 9 May 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet russ t has only attempted it once, and 'bit' the poor person in the process! His jealousy and haunted memories of this event result in the poor donkey faced retard from attacking me here.

However, I shall let it slide. The man is simply a buffoon in dire need of being shot in the ghoulies with an air rifle.

― Calum, Friday, 9 May 2003 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Karen O just looks like every Toni and Guy employee ever.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 May 2003 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet she is into really nasty shit sexually.

― mclusky, Friday, 9 May 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Karen O just looks like every Toni and Guy employee ever.

When I've been there (for I have very full and healthy head of hair that needs care), they've all been very petite Japanese gentlemen.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Karen O just looks like every Toni and Guy employee ever.
I was thinking: 6 parts Chrissie Hynde, 1 part Marilyn Manson, 1 part Carmen Miranda and 1 part explosion in a calico ragbag.
Yes, I AM Mister Custos Blackwell.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 9 May 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet she is into really nasty shit sexually.

If you really want to know, "mclusky", why not ask this man?

http://www.ijamming.net/NewFiles/INDEX/liars=live-1micinmouth.jpg3.jpg http://www.soundgenerator.com/pix/articles/2002/05/angusstage_170.jpg

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum....
blah blah blah.

Get a girlfriend, sounds like you need one.

And b4 you ask - I've had plenty, mate. Been engaged, too.

That's why I'm gay.

ps...how old are you? You've dodged this question for too long....

― russ t, Friday, 9 May 2003 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

amazing this dumb thread is still going. A reliable source who is friends with the band said that Ms. O showered twice in the day said source last saw her.

― hstencil, Friday, 9 May 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

why is this thread still active!?!?!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 9 May 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah russ... so you hate women and like to throw your own sexuality about as somehow "superior" to being straight. I'd call that hetereophobia and I'd also say you're a penis.

For you info I'm happily single after two and half years dating a former model. Go blow you fuckhead.

― Calum, Friday, 9 May 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, Jesus.

He's highly educated. He's enlightened sexually. AND he dates models! How could we not all have the ultimate respect for Calum?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 9 May 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe no one else has picked up on the misogyny and prejudice of russ-t's dimwitted comment which translates as; "Women are so shit I went gay".

If that isn't misogyny then I don't know what is.

― Calum, Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The Calum doth protest too much.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

How does it translate as that you nasty little cunt?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Du bist ich - ich bin du!
Ich bin ich - du bist du!
Du bist du - ich bin ich!
Ich bin du - du bist du!
Du bist ich! Bababababa...

(Stimmengesang Helge, Buddy und Peter!)

Du bist ich - ich bin du!
Ich bin du - du bist ich!
Du bist du - ich bin ich!
Ich bin du - du bist du!
Du bist ich!

Wenn wir uns küssen ist es sehr schön!
Müssen wir trennen uns? Sollen auseinandergehn?
Dann ist das Leben nicht mehr so gut.
Denkst du da dran, es ist nicht mehr gut?

Du bist ich - ich bin du!
Ich bin du - du bist ich!
Du bist du - ich bin ich!
Ich bin du - du bist du!
Du bist ich! C Lalalalalalala...

(Stimmengesang Helge, Buddy und Peter!)

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

No, he's right. russ t swore off of women because he found he genuinely disliked them. Calum, sadly, is only halfway there.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

SEE? This is is so ILM! I'm a "nasty little cunt" because I dare to criticise someone who happens to be gay. Not that I'm criticising him for being gay (although russ_t has slagged me off many times in regards to my sexuality) but rather because of this comment:

"And b4 you ask - I've had plenty, mate. Been engaged, too.

That's why I'm gay."

What part of that comment does not scream misogyny to you? He's a) placing his own sexuality as superior (which is prejudice) and b) saying that women are so crap he's happy to be gay (indicating his sexuality is some sort of choice).

I can't believe I'm a "nasty little cunt" for pointing this out. What a cock, faux-liberal dumb wank nuts that Nick is.

That comment is bang out of order!

― Calum, Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

SEE? This is is so ILM!

Have you tried complaing about this on a board other than ILM? There you might have at least a small chance of someone agreeing with you.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

ppl keep 'feeding'.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum is a bad boy, and he doesn't care if he gets good attention or bad attention.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think all of ILM is like that, just some. But I know the faux-liberals will be out in force because I've dared to criticise a post by russ-t who so happens to be gay or bi and, thus, is beyond criticism by the ILM massive who probably don't have nay gay friends and thus have to rely on online postings by russ to reveal their own level of tolerance.

So just to confirm: I'm attacking russ's post. Nothing else. Got that?

― Calum, Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

We've heard this argument before, Calum. Why does everybody put up with the women around here, even when they're so obviously stupid?

Do you tolerate ANYONE who's not exactly like you? I think it's time you give up ILM and find your true calling: a caller on talk radio programs.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

And just one last thought, Calum -- you are a nasty little cunt. You are also an ass-headed, pig-brained, shit-dicked fuckwad. Eat rot.

That's the last thing I'll ever say to Calum, I've decided. It felt good.

Right, I'm off to bed!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You've not once addressed my point badger brain. In fact, your last comment seems to have missed it altogether! I love people different from me - that's why no one I hang about with is anything like me you twat! You've reacted as I predicted. Yet again. That is without reading my comments and instead acting in a knee-jerk, ILM manner. Jeez, one day you'll get some degree of intelligence. I hope.

And your comments make you look like the nasty, dimwitted, evil, sick Nazi facist that you so obviously are. I only hope that you can one day see how short sighted and pathetic you are and work to be a nicer all round person. However, I don't think that will happen and instead see an asshole like Kenan being run over by a truck while getting in people's way during a march for some far right political party. Get a life.

― Calum, Saturday, 10 May 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's some vintage Jody Beth Rosen:

I Hate Everybody: A Playlet
by jodhisattva, 27th March 2001.
And other words that end in "let."

FIGLET: Yes, I would like another drink.

GIGLET: Me too.

HIGLET: I hate everybody.

FIGLET: Even the bartender?

GIGLET: Especially the bartender.

HIGLET: Especially the bartender. Everybody hates the bartender.

FIGLET: Yes, I would like another drink.

GIGLET: I think the bartender hates you.

HIGLET: Me too.

FIGLET: My drink.

GIGLET: Conspicuously absent.

HIGLET (long pause): Is this "Glengarry Glen Ross"? Why are we talking like this? Is what I wanna know.

FIGLET: That's what I f*ckin' wanna know.

GIGLET: Yeah. Is all.

HIGLET (knocking over table and shaking his fist): Hey! This man ordered a boilermaker!

FIGLET (sweating, embarrasssed): For the love of Pete. Keep it down.

GIGLET: I really think this is the best of all possible worlds.

HIGLET (still standing, a bit out of breath): Can I steal that?

FIGLET: I'm not drinking.

GIGLET (bemused): Steal it.

HIGLET: Me neither.

FIGLET: Me threether.

GIGLET: My name is Giglet.

HIGLET: Lucky.

FIGLET: How'd you wind up with Giglet?

GIGLET: I had the second line of dialogue.

HIGLET: And the f*ckin' bartender has no dialogue!

FIGLET: So who's gonna get my drink?

GIGLET: Ask the playwright.

HIGLET: She doesn't have any lines either.

FIGLET: You mean we're stuck here?

GIGLET: Hey, do you think people get to choose their playwrights?

HIGLET: No; I'd never choose someone who'd make me go by Higlet.

FIGLET: No way.

GIGLET: Heeee! Giglet! I got Giglet!

HIGLET: Lucky son of a…

FIGLET: The bartender could have been Jiglet.

GIGLET: No, wouldn't the bartender be Iiglet?

HIGLET: Maybe in Shakespeare.

FIGLET: Giglet, if you hadn't said "Me too," the bartender could have been Giglet.

GIGLET: The bartender doesn't deserve Giglet.

HIGLET: Good thing you wanted that drink, then.

FIGLET: The bartender could have easily been Higlet, too.

GIGLET: See? Higlet's better than Iiglet!

HIGLET: Jiglet!

FIGLET: No, you don't want Jiglet. Not in this kinda bar.

GIGLET: Wait…how do I pronounce my name?

HIGLET: Ask the playwright.

FIGLET: Can't.

GIGLET: Hey Higlet, do you think this play will ever be produced?

HIGLET: With this dialogue? God, I hope not.

FIGLET: Then we'll never know how to pronounce our names, will we?

GIGLET: S'pose not.

HIGLET: I'm not liking this. Maybe writing in a bartender's not such a bad idea.

FIGLET: I'll say!

GIGLET: If a play is never produced, is it really a play?

HIGLET: On paper, no one can hear us scream.

FIGLET: Sh*t.

--THE END--

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 10 May 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

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That bird, Karen O, from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs - she's stinking dude!