In here you can title your very own Calum thread!

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1.Most prolapsed sphincter in dance music
2.If you had to pick any female singer to have sex with GG Allin in a van for 2 straight days who would it be?
3.How much spunk would it take to saturate baby spices hair

see its fun!

SplendidMullet (iamamonkey), Thursday, 3 April 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Which Spice Girl would you like to see as 'irresponsible promiscuous female' in the musical remake of 'Silent Scream'

dave q, Thursday, 3 April 2003 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

What UK Indie Stud Would You Most Like To See Forcibly Give Brett Anderson A Homosexual Experience While Bathed In Salad Cream?

kate, Thursday, 3 April 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Which Member of the Donnas Would You Most Like To See Fist Emma Bunton?

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 April 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

If You Had a Time Machine, What Would You Do to Make It a Wasted Opportunity?

Nick A. (Nick A.), Thursday, 3 April 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

MY THREADS ARE WAY TOOOOOO CLEVER FOR THE REST OF ILM, AND THE MODERATORS ALL SUCK BIG HAIRY MOOSECOCK FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING MY GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kate, Thursday, 3 April 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

it seems there's a little bit of Calum in everybody...

willem (willem), Thursday, 3 April 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

...in every body...

willem (willem), Thursday, 3 April 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

AS LONG AS YOU'RE LAUGHING KATE. AS LONG AS YOU'RE LAUGHING....

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 3 April 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I'M CALUM BUT I'VE CHANGED MY NAME TO SPLENDID MULLET FOR SOME REASON. STILL A BEDWETTING ASSHOLE THOUGH - DON'T WORRY, THAT'LL NEVER CHANGE!

James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 3 April 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Which Britpop knobjockey would you most like to suffer cancer of the ass and balls?

Which girl band would you like to see sprayed with hosepipes full of semen (nb - I have read actual fanfiction to this effect - it was about the Coors. Ewww.)

Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 3 April 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the thread where the right-wing moderators oppress me because they are monkeyspank coated rump-rangers! Also: I'd *do* the fat chick in Wilson Philips. Really I would.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 3 April 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE WE GO BACK IN TIME AND TITTY FUCK OUR OWN MOTHERS TO THE STRAINS OF "I AM THE RESSURECTION"

James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 3 April 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

JB wins.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 3 April 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

'I have read actual fanfiction to this effect - it was about the Coors'

link pls

dave q, Thursday, 3 April 2003 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'M CALUM BUT I'VE CHANGED MY NAME TO SPLENDID MULLET FOR SOME REASON. STILL A BEDWETTING ASSHOLE THOUGH - DON'T WORRY, THAT'LL NEVER CHANGE!"

Now that was a bit rought James. I mean, what about a thread dedicated to you entitled: "10 Reasons why being sodomised by an alsatian at a young age turns you into a chap called James Blout who is upset at the world because now he can't get an erection unless he's in a nearby kennel". But then I don't tend to judge people by anonymous threads on the internet James, and I'm sure you're actually a complete fucking prick in real life as well.

Anyhow, I've never seen 'Silent Scream'. Any good?

Calz, Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

And judging by your thread content you seriously need to read up on some Freud man, thoughts like that just aint healthy.

Calz, Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"Should we cover a MOAB in glue and make lots of chicks push it out a Hercules over Baghdad?"

Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

And who da fuck IS Splendid Mullet?

Oh, right - James thought it was me!!! No sorry, run an IP check.

Calz, Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

re 'Silent Scream', some amusing lines, best being "Hey, these aren't tomatoes!"

dave q, Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Silent Scream star Barbara Steele (60s Italian horror icon who also popped up in Cronenberg's Shivers) or am I mixing it up with something else? Either way I've not seen it.

Calz, Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.silentscream.org/

dave q, Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, I'm gonna get on my high horse here. I think this shit stinks. I really detest this idea of sick bastards revelling in other people's misery (I've come across some real assholes, while editing my cult movie mag, who get their jollies out of watching real life death movies or women being raped at gun point and that sort of thing) and it digusts me. It just makes my stomach turn.

I'm all for people to have the right to an abortion and that is just fucked up.

I guess you can tell my thoughts on that - and I didn't enter the site. One read of the descriptions and that's it. I want to smash a hole in my television whenever I see bull fighting or something. Sorry, I'm letting out my sensitive side.

Back to the Calum threads.

Calz, Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Sorry, I'm gonna get on my high horse here. I think this shit stinks. I really detest this idea of sick bastards revelling in other people's misery."

Are you talking about ILx?

Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate's 1st post = hifuckinglarious, laughing so hard it hurts

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 3 April 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The salad cream is soooo clever.
I tried to top it with my "monkey spank" comment...but I know its just a pale imitation.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 3 April 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...
If Calum were a rock band, would he be Boston because he's boring and predictable?

Aaron W (Aaron W), Sunday, 11 May 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

If you could make (choose random washed-up popstar) do (insert euphemism for some perverted sex act) in your (insert one of the following: bed, bathtub, kitchen, asshole), wouldn't that be (insert one of the following: great, brilliant, gay, lame)
It's just like MadLibs!

Example:

If you could make MPeople do some kinky frottage cheese monkey dancing in your asshole, wouldn't that be brilliant?

Fun for the whole family! Especially if your family is a bunch of psuedo-politically correct whiners.

Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, 11 May 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)


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