Most incomprehensible/brilliant/insane/hilarious liner notes

http://64.95.118.51/images/opti/17/83/128662-resized200.JPG

http://www.bobdylan.com/linernotes/blood.html

Isn't that what liner notes are? I'd much rather that than someone babbling about their OWN music. Nothing is more tiresome. Witness Jack's notes inside Elephant.

"---- (poppy) - talk, assmouth, byclesynth / ----(poppu) - eggmafin bass, sax, meat, trumpet / ----(pooly) - sdi, cello, sugar, synth, wood / ----(poosuu) - kick & hit & shot, car, violin / Hum (poogie) - penis, tennis & punk / ----(poomie) - drunk & eat & sleep
Boredoms management: Inner Directs, 5-15-9-301, Minami - Aoyama, Minato-ku, Tokyo, 107, Japan"

I didn't even know about the existence of the Sex Clark Five at the time.

Liner notes, in general = dud.

Explanation.

(I guess his notes in "Desire" are, for me, the somewhat-dud to this classic. But I like all Dylan's liner notes!)

THE N.S.V.I.P's (a free verse tone poem originally performed in 19 B.C. by three thousand an nine scantilly clad short distance runners with small arms accompaniment by twenty-two irate long distance runners.)

in may of 1964
(when the world an i were very young)
i met jimmy bowen (former teenage star)
and i said
"jimmy bowen,
"former teenage star,
"why is it thou does not asketh i
"to make a brilliant album
"filled with wit and jolly satire?"
jimmy bowen (former teenage star)
jurled me no leww than three kos
and disappeared with the speed of
a psycophant into the lost
generation.

in june of 1964
(when the world was young)
(and i was wrinkled)
i met jimmy bowen
(dramatic, former teemage star)
and i said,
"i, though wrinkled
"bear you no malice
"nor pox, nor stuff.:
"so whata ya say, huh?"
jimmy bowen
(dramatic, former teenage star)
stood looking more like
someone
than someone else.
he opened his mouth
as if to speak and
spaketh,
"so maketh your dammed album"

i touched the hem of
his beau gentry cape
for good luck and dashed
blindly into the street
where i was promptly
crushed beneath the
wheels of a
red go-devil
driven by a half-crazed
young arranger
called
jack
of the house of nitzsche.

a kindly gentleman, who
shall remain
anonymous,
but for4 clarity sake
we shall call
mo ostin,
came a stoned passing
strangers, who were
taking my shoes and
loose change.

the kindly gentleman
spake
"if you should survive
"(and surely no one in your
"(pitiful condition can),
"you should know two things."
at that moment
i knew why
i was born.

"oh what sir?" i cried
in tragic pain
(while some heartless
(jackal took the lace
(from my left sandal and
(ran into the
(darkness).
"what should i know sir?"
"oh pray tell,
"0h."
he spake again.
"life is not a bowl
"of rainsin bran."
"oh, oh"
icried,
"why has this knowledge
"come so late?"

the kindly mo ostin
continued,
"learn to forgive your fellow
"man for he is flesh and flesh
"is weak."
"it deeply wounds me,"
he saidth,
"to inform you that. . .
"TARZAN AND JANE WERE
"NEVER MARRIED."

darkness closed around me
but i
cared not.
i smiled and fell face
down in a pool fo go-devil oil
and was
no more.

notes:

1. small arms accompaniment
helped many short distance
runners develop rapidly into
long distance runners.
2. a measure of distance in India
varying from 1 1/2 to 3 miles.
3. a mentally disturbed elephant.
4. first long distance runner to
die from injuries received in
a head-on collision with a
psycophant.

special thanks to thes nsvip's
a gorilla named-roger
a barefoot sombrero named-leo
a lady great dane named-trouble
a casey named-al
a strange named-billy

"At the Plastic Inevitable it is All Here and Now and the Future."
— Jonas Mekas, Village Voice
...
"Not since the Titanic ran into that iceberg has there been such a collision as when Andy Warhol's Exploding Plastic Inevitable burst upon the audiences at The Trip Tuesday."
— Los Angeles Times
...
"The flowers of evil are in full bloom with the Exploding Plastic Inevitable."
— Michaelo Williams, Chicago Daily News
...
"Nico, the beautiful flaxen-haired girl."
— San Francisco Chronicle
...
"the blonde, bland, beautiful Nico, another cooler Dietrich for another cooler generation."
— John Wilcock, East Village Other
...
Nico, astonishing — the macabre face — so beautifully resembles a momento mori, the marvelous deathlike voice coming from the lovely blond head."
— David Antim, Art News

I just got the Rhino CD compilation Hide Away: The Best of Freddy King from 1993, which was part of their "King Master Series" covering the label King Records (the name similarity is coincidental). Dan Forte wrote the liner notes, incorporating his own interviews with Freddy King, and the second sentence calls King "a gorilla of a man." It was only supposed to describe his powerful stage presence, but Jesus, what an unfortunate choice of words...

Worst snobby liner notes: Doug Ramsey in the 1996 CD reissue of Getz/Gilberto, where he has to criticize Elvis, Bill Haley, the Platters and Frankie Lymon before he reprints an entire recent Billboard top 10 singles chart, all to show us how far popular music has fallen since the glory days when Stan Getz could score a hit single.

Worst pretentious liner notes: Keith Altham in Scott Walker's Scott 3, which conclude:

The voice says to be careful and concise
But be a friend and beware but
Most of all be quick and honest
Be like Hemingway was
What d'y'think
Jesus

I actually think Getz/Gilberto is excellent, but if Verve wanted to sell that album as popular jazz worthy of anyone's time regardless of their preferences, they picked the absolute worst writer to make the case.

Are you familiar with Doug Ramsey? I just looked him up now, he's 87 and presumably still hating Bone Thugs-n-Harmony and Alanis Morissette.

He's got soft tastes. The man really likes his West Coast jazz, which I would defend, but not in the way he does which just backfires against the criticisms AGAINST that music and how it's pretty soft and tame compared to other music being recorded in that era.

The music has been sequenced for CD release in accordance with how the songs were recorded. So don't get your drawers crooked in your butt because songs are in a different order.