bonus points!

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anything that helps win your favor. for example:

multiple lead vocalists/songwriters = +40

a variety of rhythms and time signatures = +30

lyrics that try to say something in plain language and don't hinge entirely on moon-june-spoon rhyme schemes = +50

not looking like you'd expect the members of a band to look like just from the sound of their music = +20

violin = +30

predominantly uptempo material = +60

use of handclaps = +20

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Bobby Conn wins by default, then.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

use of portamento or pitchblende on synths = +30

use of a slide on anything with strings = +40

fancy hi-hat action = +50

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Mentioning an age in a song +20
Mentioning a year +10
Mentioning a snack cake +100
one note guitar solos +30

― Carey (Carey), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Major-7th chords: +5,000

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"pitchblende on synths" = justification for war on Iraq?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

um..............ok.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Thunder sounds +100
Rain sounds +80
Waves breaking +70
Wolf howls +20

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

frou-frou psychedelic shirt-5pt
Vox amps-10pt
civil war style cravet-12pt
harmonies-15pt
androgenist lead singer-25pt
stage mic antics-15pt

― SplendidMullet (iamamonkey), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck... i realized I just described Steven Tyler of Aerosmith?!

― SplendidMullet (iamamonkey), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Male and Female lead vocals +40

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

use of at least one acoustic instrument (aside from drums) = +20
use of an organ = +20
solo by either one acoustic instrument or an organ = +10
aforementioned solo lasts no longer than eight measures = +10
use of vocal harmonies = +30
sparse instrumentation in the breaks = +10
overall carefree, but not overbearingly frivolous, attitude = +50
average song length under three minutes = +20
lyric has an overall narrative thrust without being gimmicky = +20
at least one turn of phrase that makes me turn my head in pleasant surprise = +10
no lyrics that make me wince = +10
one instrument or voice goes slightly out of tune, accidentally or on purpose = +20
overall arrangement/conception anchored firmly in a genre tradition = +40

thus is it scientifically proved that "The Tide Is High" is the greatest song of all time.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Have transcribed this formula, Amateurist. Will give you half the money.

― Sasha Frere-Jones (Sasha Frere-Jones), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

being liked by Geir = -1,000,000 pts ;)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Songwriting:
More than 6 different chords throughout, at least half of which are in minor: + 400 pts
Good chorus: 50 pts
Containing both verse, chorus and bridge, all of which are highly constrasting: + 200 pts
Containing a middle-8 in addition to those three: + yet 50 pts
Containing even more different and highly constrasting parts than verse, chorus, bridge and middle-8 (sort of a suite): + yet 100 pts
Surprising key changes: + 100 pts each
Lack of melody - emphasis on rhytm rather than melody or harmony: - 1.000.000.000.000.000 points

Post-songwriting:
Male lead vocals: + 10 pts
Multi-voiced backing vocals: + 10 pts
If those multi voiced backing vocals are being carefully mixed into wide stereo: + yet 20 pts
If those multi voiced backing vocals contain a couple of dim chords (most beautiful vocal chord there is): + yet 20 pts
Sudden dynamic changes: + 20 pts
Great stereo effects: + 20 pts
Great synth sounds: + 20 pts
Detailed and slick production: + 20 pts
Lead vocals way behind in the mix: - 200 pts
"rough" and "unfinished" production: - 50 pts
Very obvious drum beats that takes the listener's attention away from the melody: - 25 pts
Noisy guitar feedback: - 50 pts
Screaming vocals: - 50 pts
Screaming high-pitched vocals - 100 pts
Grinding vocals: - 500 pts

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Geir do you get a kick out of being our bete noire? Because your posts seem strangely joyless for someone who is so persistent.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Beat I can dance to - 500 points
h0t aZ14n ch1X0rz - 1000000 points duh!!

― Adam A. (Keiko), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

good comeback geir :)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Lack of melody - emphasis on rhytm rather than melody or harmony: - 1.000.000.000.000.000 points

are you sure you want to only dock 1 solitary point for this? i didnt see the point of all the decimals btw

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

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