Momus is......... NEKID!!! [link not safe for work]

because it's not, etc

There's nekkid pictures of me; fortunately not on the webbernet (that I know of).

http://cynthiapcaster.org/casts/_dicks/casts_momus_page/momus_page.htm

Hmmmm...

and can i say OHMYGAWD!

:p

NB - that link is also not exactly safe for work.

Look, a naked man!

To look at him may endanger your livelihood.

We have been naked too, but fortunately in private.

We feel ill now.

He has exaggerated his genitals, surely.

Let us do the same! Perhaps.

Is he lying, let's check!

Isn't he cold?

The heat has made his genitals larger.

Girl who said 'look', why do you often draw attention to the penis?

Isn't the vagina neglected?

He is from long ago.

He is masturbating.

Has he gone mad because he is so old?

He is dead, or never lived at all.

(and no, Photoshop doesn't - erm - enter into it)

'Sadly, the Foundation has not been doing as well as we'd hoped. We've
only sold 3 Jimi Hendrix casts, 2 drawings and a few T-shirts. The miserable
economy as well as a flawed marketing strategy has hampered our hard-ons.
I'm shocked that no one has bought a Sweet Baby Momus! None of the tits have
sold either. We are far, far, far from being able to give out any grants. I
don't know what's gonna happen now--my business partner is too busy and broke
to try and improve on a few things that could help matters. Oh well...I'm
trying to have a benefit in Chicago sometime at the Abbey Pub to help pay off
the legal costs of getting the Foundation together. Fingers are crossed that
Jon Langford's band, the Waco Bros., who said they'd play will come through.
That's the Story of the Plaster to date...'

- Simple Mind's Jim Kerr is alleging the penis was stolen from him.
- Simple Mind's Jim Kerr is allergic to Momus.
- Simple Mind's Jim Kerr is alleviating Momus' penile tension.

"If you are a long term Momus listener who's just had about 3 massive bongs do not open any of the links on this thread or you will experience the kind of psychological whiplash usually associated with getting shot with a crossbow from close range by a family member"

And where can I order one in plaster?

http://www.healthandefficiency.co.uk/comimages/magpile.jpg

::smiles::

I used to have bad hair days, but I shaved my head. And I still sometimes have fat days. But mostly I have big penis days and small penis days. Momus has decided which kind this will be for me.

Hasn't Momus already written, like, thirty of these?

the things i know are a drop in the ocean.

i hope the 'poem' above isn't indicative of lyrical quality though.

Momus, enough! I don't need you to compound my extreme feelings of inadequacy with your fancy HTML skillz as well!

That is not in fact an HTML pop-up menu, Nordicskillz, it's just pleased to see you.

Okay, so Cynthia Plaster Caster's given us the fully flaccid version. Momus, himself, has given us the semi-erect "morning wood" version. Who's going to stand the soldier up straight for us now?

Morning wood is exactly what you see in the satellite photo, Maria, as the ruffled hair also indicates. The unit will be deployed when and where we see fit. For operational reasons we can't give details right now.

Momus' penis resembles a headless, limbless sausage dog.

That is deliberate, Wyndham. For deep cover operations, we feel that many different identities are the way to go. We sometimes even use clothes for this purpose.

Ok, show of hands, who's having a small penis day all of a sudden?

Kenan, you'll probably have heard Secretary Rumsfeld talk about our ambitions for a smaller, more responsive deployment force in the future. So consider yourself 'ahead of your time'.

AAAAGH! MY EYES! MY EYES!
IT BURRRRRNNNSSS! MAKE THE HORRRRRORRRR STOOPPPPPPP!

There may still be chemical or biological weapons in the area, Lord Custos, so keep your protective goggles on at all times.

Speaking of eyes, am I the only person that noticed that Momus appears to have two of them in this picture?

That is correct, Millar, Momus has two eyes, but only one is functional at this moment.

(Does anybody have any welders gel and some bactine? Maybe some sterile bandages and morphine if it's not too much trouble.

Apply to the medical tent, on your left outside the briefing stage, Epsilon.

What I'm wondering is if Momus is so hung (and why should I doubt it), why would he feel the need to digitally enhance himself further?

Although it is digital, no enhancement whatsoever has been made to this image. We want to give you guys as realistic a picture as we can.

Momus looks a bit like Serge Gainsbourg in this picture.

The French singer? That is not an appropriate comment and you will be punished for it. Next!

it looks like a lucien freud painting

Lucien who? I'm sorry, I'll have to consult and get back to you on that one. Next!

and momus, you're hot.

We hope to wrap this campaign up before things get really hot in the next couple of months. There's only so much sand you can get in the machinery before it breaks down.

Is it wrong that whenever I look at the picture (and I think I have at least 6 times today for reference) I keep imagining one little googly eye and an eyepatch on his penis?

Carey, we're always looking for new design ideas, perhaps you might like to submit technical drawings to the First Chief Officer.

Jesus no wonder you're famous, I knew it couldn't be the music

That is an issue, Dan. We find that when you wheel out the big weapons and mount a campaign like this one to 'shock and awe' you get a 'master identity' which tends to obscure all the humanitarian and relief work, all the reconstruction and rebuilding that follows. But when war is over it's time to concentrate on music, art and peace. We're looking at the technology required to make new people. Some of you may be able to go embedded on that story.

Though possibly there's a GUM clinic in Berlin where you can see someone about that...

http://www.richcompany.com/IMAGES/IROUTE66/hand-big.jpg

You can have your own cast of Momusdick for $750 now.

What's funny is that you can buy a Cynthia cast of this for $750.

(and no, Photoshop doesn't - erm - enter into it)

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 18:57 (7 years ago)