Rock Bitch - is Jeremy Beadle involved with this?

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I had seen bits and pieces of these guys (I recall telling a mate about them in my first year at uni years ago in a "they suck so bad but honestly this band does exist and they fuck on stage and they are pagans and really dim") before on sattelite sex documentaries (the kind you end up flicking onto accidentally - no really - and wish you had caught 'em from the start coz they feature all sorts of weird assholes that give you a laugh) but tonight Channel 5 did a whole documentary on them.

The music sucks in the way all death metal does, but what I find most amusing is that they are led by a posh lass who is obviously rebelling against a private education background and parents that are accountants. Their sex rituals were crap, they are all ugly as sin, and boy do they make sex boring. I never thought the sight of ten women sitting around naked and getting off on each other would bore me but somehow they made it possible. And all that cod philosophy when it's just a bunch of chicks masturbating to satanic music. Oh man, no wonder the authorities banned them - I'm sure there is a law against peddling shit music (on second thoughts... Coldplay sell out arenas right?).

Anyone else see this documentary or know about these jokers?

― Calum, Wednesday, 7 May 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm know of these people from before. I nearly saw it but I don't have a remote control and another programme about lesbians was on the other side anyway.

― goodman, Thursday, 8 May 2003 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I seem to remember this band becoming something of a running joke on Mark Radcliffe's old Graveyard Shift show, circa 1995... can't remember any actual details, other than Mark would throw in the occasional jokey reference to them.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Thursday, 8 May 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw this and it had me in hysterics. (as for ugly as sin, one of them was quite reasonable-looking had she been, like, not a complete idiot). what made me laugh most was that they were all clearly mental and one of the worst bands i have ever heard, yet they were trying to give some intellectual and spiritual weight to what they were doing... how? I had heard about them before this but they surpassed all expectations of how bad i thought they'd be. However, they weren't satanists per se and certainly weren't death metal... it was simply dreadful, dreadful tv but very funny in parts - i mean i was just sitting there thinking "surely they don't believe this tosh", y'know?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 8 May 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Two moments had me looking on in disbelief (I thought the whole programme would have made a good Chris Morris sketch - especially passing out the wine to the audience after it had been poured over the posh bird's naked body). The first was when they said they could share their orgasms so they all sat in a circle while two of the birds sixty-nined themselves and began shaking and groaning (so funny Chris Morris couldn't have made it up) and the second was when the posh bird painted herself red and walked around to this sinister drumming with a dildo sticking it in whomever she wanted to in the name of a pagan ritual or some such bollocks.

I can't believe they're trying to intellectualise (and doing it badly at that) going on stage and letting members of the audience stick their fingers in them while they produce some of the worst music ever.

― Calum, Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

for once we agree... it was truly abysmal on pretty much every level... when i turned on the tv and channel-surfed, i saw it and initially thought it was some weird-arsed explicit lesbian spinal tap-style spoof, but then i began to remember i'd heard of some such rubbish before. then the break came and my worst fears were confirmed: it was real!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Incredible, they're still around? And what about their US equivalent/ripoff, Genitorturers?

― Siegbran (eofor), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

oh it was insufferably ghastly... but they're not still around any more. the programme was about them retiring as a band and just going off to live on a commune shagging lots of people...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't shag any of them. I felt really sorry for the poor fucker that grabbed the 'golden condom' and had to go back stage and shag them. Uergh... who knows where these henks have been?

― Calum, Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

well, unless you make an effore to go out there and find them, due to their retirement, than you shouldn't have that problem calum... i'm sure they'll keep busy without you, too...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"effort", that is

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

Was he?

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 13:57 (eighteen years ago)

only stelfox can save us

― That one guy that quit, Friday, 6 July 2007 13:59 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.toonhound.com/bananaman.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:00 (eighteen years ago)

I'm sure there is a law against peddling shit music (on second thoughts... Coldplay sell out arenas right?)

― DJ Mencap, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:26 (eighteen years ago)

Little bit of satire from the big man

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:29 (eighteen years ago)

i bet your magazine have covered this in depth

― acrobat, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:30 (eighteen years ago)

Powerslam?

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:32 (eighteen years ago)

the other one

― acrobat, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:33 (eighteen years ago)

Jane's Defence Weekly?

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:38 (eighteen years ago)

what have you written about for them?

― acrobat, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:41 (eighteen years ago)

Did a bit of sub-editing.

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:50 (eighteen years ago)

Polish army bought some missile defence equipment off the US, pretty fascinating stuff.

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:50 (eighteen years ago)

Psych it was dull

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:50 (eighteen years ago)

i think that sounds kinda interesting.

― That one guy that quit, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:56 (eighteen years ago)

but then i have just pissed away a whole afternoon not reviewing a boring-ass film from georgia. the actual georgia, not dirty south georgia.

― That one guy that quit, Friday, 6 July 2007 14:57 (eighteen years ago)

six months pass...

http://hem.spray.se/zahn/site/bilder/platin2.jpg

Every day I wake up
I hope Im dreamin
I cant believe this shit
Cant believe you aint here
Sometimes its just hard for a nigga to wake up
Its hard to just keep goin
Its like I feel empty inside without you bein here
I would do anything man, to bring you back
Id give all this shit, shit the whole knot
I saw your son today
He look just like you
You was the greatest
Youll always be the greatest
I miss you big
Cant wait til that day, when I see your face again
I cant wait til that day, when I see your face again...

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 18:59 (eighteen years ago)

They do look a bit butch tbh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFlmh_8PD90

― Bodrick III, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 19:22 (eighteen years ago)

Jeremy Beadle RIP

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 19:34 (eighteen years ago)

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