Hey US pop kids! Robbie needs your help!

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Silly boy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 11 May 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Bloody hell.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 11 May 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Escapology sold a reported 29,400 copies in its first week after being released in the US.

If they would have left "Hot Fudge" on the US version and released it as a single, it might be moving more units.

― paul cox (paul cox), Sunday, 11 May 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll help him when he stops sucking.

Geez, there's no way to make that sentence un-salacious, is there?

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Sunday, 11 May 2003 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's this Robbie character again?

― maria b (maria b), Monday, 12 May 2003 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I think he plays ~~soccer~~ football.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Monday, 12 May 2003 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

The thing is, Angels did get a lot of airplay here. And Rock DJ was on MTV2 24/7 when it came out.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

they played that recent one where he's trying to look like a calvin klein cowboy a little bit. and 'millenium' was a bonafide hit sorta (it hit the top 40, but not the top ten)

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone whose first US single opens with the line "My breath smells of a thousand fags" is not going to do well.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

robbie williams' breath = gents' public toilet

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 12 May 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i look like him, apparently.

― keith (keithmcl), Monday, 12 May 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

you look like this?

http://www.antenne.de/imperia/md/images/musiccente/stars_soun/knstlerl-s/robbie_williams/lq_robbienude1.jpg

bloody hell.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Monday, 12 May 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

the only press coverage i've seen him get over here (aside from the "all our label's hopes and dreams are resting on you, young squire" piece in the NY Times) is in The Advocate. this is not the way to crack america, as Rufus Wainwright could probably tell you.

― Dave M. (rotten03), Monday, 12 May 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Americans are afraid of homosexuality.

― maria b (maria b), Monday, 12 May 2003 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

By the way, I can't tell the difference between this Robbie character and Carson Daly.

― maria b (maria b), Monday, 12 May 2003 05:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Daly is the UNpretentious talentless bloke that makes no
claims oth erwise.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Monday, 12 May 2003 06:26 (twenty-two years ago)

He's a massive tool.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 12 May 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

There is only one way to break the states: tour, tour, tour. If he's not willing to put the time in, all the television appearances in the world won't do him a lick of good. English musicians just don't understand the American markets, and they never will.

But hey, it means he got £80 million for nothing! Lucky him!

― kate, Monday, 12 May 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hallo, Welcome back! I'm yer host, Robbie Williams...and this is a pledge break.
I reallly reaalllllly reaaaaaaalllllly need your help, so please support me. I need your help if I'm going to keep bringing you such great stuff as...as.....um, er...that "Millenium" song...or the video where I throw peices of my manly buttmeat at anorexic supermodels.
And I'm thinking as I threw that buttmeat: 'TAKE THAT'!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Get it...TAKE THAT. HAHAHAHA. I made a Funny!
(*long nostalgic sigh*)
But you have to admit that was the best Buttmeat Hurl since...oh, the Summer Olympics of 1963. And that doesn't count 'cos those Albanian Women were all on steroids.
You don't see Justin Timberlake throwing HIS stringy scraps of thin, tofu-fed buttmeat, do ye? Course not! He's nowhere near as cool as moi!
So please...give generously and often.
And if you call in your pledge in the next 10 minutes, you'll get this ...oh, i dunno...a totebag or somesuch nonesense....but the totebag isn't the important thing...the important thing is keeping my cushy job as a popstar so I don't have to go back and clean out trashcans again....
wait...did I just say that out loud? Um...er...
I mean: the important thing is the music. Yes. Definitely. The music.
and the Buttmeat. Did I mention that? Wasn't thet finely sculpted buttmeat? (*long nostalgic sigh*)
Anyhow...the number here is 1-800-555-WEAKASS, thats 1-800-555-WEAKASS. That number again is 1-800-555-WEAKASS...
Call in yout pledge now or I'll have to bring out Gary Barlow to sing more of his icky folk strummers again."

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 12 May 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

*splutters, cackles madly, and dies*

― janni (janni), Monday, 12 May 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

It's just so sad and desperate it makes my skin crawl.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 12 May 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"The thing is, Angels did get a lot of airplay here."

As did "Millenium", and "Let Me Entertain You" has popped up in a few ads.

― Charles McCain (Charles McCain), Monday, 12 May 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I think what Robbie is failing to take into account is that, apparently, no one in America likes his songs.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

also that in the US, less-than-muscular men with hairy chests who are loud and mouthy (ie, me) are not appreciated to the extent they deserve

― Dave M. (rotten03), Monday, 12 May 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hallo, Welcome back! Yer pal Robbie again...and this is hour 366 of the Let Save Robbie Williams Sorry Ass Telethon!
I'm not sure if this is a second wind, an adrenaline rush or just that the Crystal Meth was very, very pure, But I feel like I could do another 366 hours, no sweat.
Really. No sweat. I can't stop sweating. I wish I would stop. This isn't a wet t-shirt content, its just the James Bond Costume was too damned hot. And the bugs underneath my skin were making me itch.
But I'm okay now, and I promise there won't be a repeat of that incident in Hour 298 where I started doing '1 Million Bottles of Beer on the Wall'; On the plus side, the voices have stopped.
We're having great fun amusing you with 10 different remixes of "Old Before I Die"; and later on, in Hour 368, Kylie and Danii Minogue will be here and we are going to Crucify Liam Gallagher LIVE ON THE AIR!
Yes. Liam will DIE for your Sins, live on TV!
After that, shadow puppets.
Naaaaaaughty shadow puppets.
Lets just say that Special Guest Jason Kaye of Jaminiquai will be using his hands to hold up the portable Punch and Judy booth. Ho Ho Ho! Happy Christmas and may all your bodily organs smell minty fresh.
(*falls over, but quickly recovers*)
Thats okay! Everythings okay. The STAR is fine. I am undimmed and unmolested. The Jesus I was seeing was a hallucination but I'm okay now.
Now. Anyhow. Lets get back to our special program already in progess... The Robbie Williams Mayday Special starring Robbie Williams, Robbie Williams, Robbie Williams and special Guest Star Roland Gift as Robbie Williams..."

Williams...and this is a pledge break.
I reallly reaalllllly reaaaaaaalllllly need your help, so please support me. I need your help if I'm going to keep bringing you such great stuff as...as.....um, er...that "Millenium" song...or the video where I throw peices of my manly buttmeat at anorexic supermodels.
And I'm thinking as I threw that buttmeat: 'TAKE THAT'!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Get it...TAKE THAT. HAHAHAHA. I made a Funny!
(*long nostalgic sigh*)
But you have to admit that was the best Buttmeat Hurl since...oh, the Summer Olympics of 1963. And that doesn't count 'cos those Albanian Women were all on steroids.
You don't see Justin Timberlake throwing HIS stringy scraps of thin, tofu-fed buttmeat, do ye? Course not! He's nowhere near as cool as moi!
So please...give generously and often.
And if you call in your pledge in the next 10 minutes, you'll get this ...oh, i dunno...a totebag or somesuch nonesense....but the totebag isn't the important thing...the important thing is keeping my cushy job as a popstar so I don't have to go back and clean out trashcans again....
wait...did I just say that out loud? Um...er...
I mean: the important thing is the music. Yes. Definitely. The music.
and the Buttmeat. Did I mention that? Wasn't thet finely sculpted buttmeat? (*long nostalgic sigh*)
Anyhow...the number here is 1-800-555-WEAKASS, thats 1-800-555-WEAKASS. That number again is 1-800-555-WEAKASS...
Call in yout pledge now or I'll have to bring out Gary Barlow to sing more of his icky folk strummers again."

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 12 May 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Less-than-muscular! What!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 12 May 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Ooops, sorry, that was a re-run. Do not be alarmed. You are not experiencing a temportal flux...everything will be oooookay...just don't go into the light.
When you reach the end of Side A, Do not turn the cassette over, there is no Side B...but if you happen to find a Side B...do not look at it! Run! Flea! Flea for your lives...
Oh, that reminds me...In Hour 370, Anthony Keidis will be here, repeatedly slamming a medicine ball into my guts, so I can have a 'six-pack' just like him..."

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 12 May 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey Hey HEEEEEYYYYYY! Welcome Back to hour 440 of the Robbie Williams Circus of the Stars, and I'm your host Fat Albert.
No, wait...I mean Robbie Williams. I took a 15-minute combat nap and now I'm ready for another 20 hours! YEAHHHHH BOYEEEEE!
Does anybody have any requests. I do a mean version of 'Moon River'. I mean reaaallly mean...like its never been fed...it only eats what it can kill.
GRRRRRRRRRROWL. I'm so sexy. Look at my buttmeat. I do special buttmeat exercises every morning. Yes....thats right...I gotta work it, baby...you don't get buttmeat like this outta of a can.
But enough about me. Let open the mailbag...

(rustle rustle rustle)

This is from Alex in New York....oh, dear...I can't read this on the air...this is is...oh, my...(ahem) Alex...you seem to have misunderstood. We mail You a TOTEbag. Not Scrotebag. ....Oh...I see...he's not asking for a scrotebag...he says that Robbie Williams....needs one. (dispiritied sigh) (throws letter over his shoulder)
Well...enough of that...lets read another, shall we?
This letter is from...I hope I'm saying this right...Keeyoostos? Koo-stohs? Kust-us?...anyhow, Kustos from Philadelphia says.... (becomes very alarmed, turns the pages nervously) ...oh, dear...this has even more cusswords than Alex's letter....Grrrr
(angrily wads up the letter and throws it on the ground)
Right. Lets move on...
This is from Calum in Scotland...."

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(c'mon, ILM...doesn't anyone want to be Robbies "special guest"?)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

Ni kan suga min kuk allihopa era horungar!!!!

― Arsan slobodan, Monday, 1 May 2006 20:55 (nineteen years ago)

Javisst!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

So... How'd that work out for Robbie?

― J Arthur Rank (Quin Tillian), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

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