One-star albums from the AMG

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I know Love Beach got the one-star rating. But what other records of note did?

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Metal Machine Music, as one would imagine...

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

And Vanilla Ice's Totally Live, ditto.

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Do they give out half-stars, or is one the lowest you can get?

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

OH DEAR GOD! DON'T DO IT BLOUNT DON'T DO IT!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

[huge image converted to link by yr friendly neighborhood moderator]

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the one Nation of Islam cat in the front.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Paula Abdul's sloppy seconds own this thread

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

My personal favorite, if only because I reviewed it. It is not, however, notable.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"mock not streets of fire my son" -

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

This is hilarious for so many reasons, the best of which is the recommendations section. Like MC Skat Kat? You'll love Criminal Minded!

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

is the nation of islam kat raising his fist in the air in a sign of solidarity or is he adjusting his sunglasses?

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 12 May 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

What's with the weird "writer link ID" mess at the top?

And Ned -- is there a way to search for all Ned Raggett reviews? I like your work, man.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 12 May 2003 02:04 (twenty-two years ago)

At the risk of looking a fool - which one's MC Skat Kat?

― Adam A. (Keiko), Monday, 12 May 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

mc skat kat's the one rocking the kevin rowland stylee

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 12 May 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a review of an album by a band called Attila, featuring a pre-fame Billy Joel, and it only makes me want to hear the album so very badly.

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Monday, 12 May 2003 03:52 (twenty-two years ago)

And Vanilla Ice's Totally Live, ditto.

That's "Extremely Live".

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Monday, 12 May 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

And Ned -- is there a way to search for all Ned Raggett reviews? I like your work, man.

At present, I don't believe you can search the database for specific reviewers.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 May 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

James Brown has a couple from the mid-70s. Apparently he actually says this on 'Sex Machine Today': "I admit we wasn't as funky as we used to be, but we was tryin' harder." (!!!)

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 12 May 2003 04:05 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a review of an album by a band called Attila, featuring a pre-fame Billy Joel,

And proving that AMG does not, in fact, allow less than one star.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 12 May 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

man, that description of the attila album is right up my alley. must have!!!

― your null fame (yournullfame), Monday, 12 May 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd400/d474/d4748485418.jpg

― Evan (Evan), Monday, 12 May 2003 05:27 (twenty-two years ago)

*barf*

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 12 May 2003 05:33 (twenty-two years ago)

haha I used to work at the same store Jesse did before he got famous! he used to come in and say hi to his old coworkers and was kinda ditzy--shockah!

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 12 May 2003 05:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Going back to that MC Skat Kat cover - if Sophie Ellis Bextor was a anthromorphic cartoon character, then she would be that female cat with the black hairdo at the top.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Monday, 12 May 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Criag Nicholls! With A Saxophone! FUCK!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 12 May 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Like Flies On Sherbert got only one star based upon its shitty sound quality, but the songs are not all bad..particularly My Rival.

― thomas de'aguirre (biteylove), Monday, 12 May 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000005ISH.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Charles McCain (Charles McCain), Monday, 12 May 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Has anyone heard the Attila album? The review makes it sound like Iron Butterfly meets Lightning Bolt!

― Kris (aqueduct), Monday, 12 May 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000033MT.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Charles McCain (Charles McCain), Monday, 12 May 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

le shok's 'we are electrocution' is rockin' 1.5 stars now. it was a one star classic last year, i think. movin' up.

actually, most of the review seems new to me too. or at least padded with some extra venom. did blake butler get hit in the head with a mic stand, or what?

― brian badword (badwords), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre400/e460/e46058jqb34.jpg

I always remember going to used cd stores and seeing dozens of these. heh

― Andrzej B. (Andrzej B.), Monday, 12 May 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I own and love the Attila album, but unfortunately it is NOT Iron Butterfly meets Lightning Bolt. That AMG review grossly exaggerates the "noise" aspect. In fact, it sounds like the only effect on Billy
Joel's organ is (bounteous) wah pedal (although he does describe his sound in the liner notes as "pure raunch").

It sounds much more like Uriah Heep minus the guitars. Like I said, I love it.

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Monday, 12 May 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

ned-mania

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 12 May 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

You'd think just typing site:www.allmusic.com "ned raggett" would work fine, but it doesn't. WHY NOT!?!?!?!?

― Evan (Evan), Monday, 12 May 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The Damned - Anything and Testify [EP]

Not so much of note, I'm aware, but two one stars is somewhat impressive.

― Catherine (Catherine), Monday, 12 May 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

That's "Extremely Live".
Aha! As in "to the extreme," right? He's a clever one, that Ice...

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 12 May 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The Longpigs "Mobile Home":
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&uid=8:32:15|PM&samples=1&writer=1&sql=A8o520r5au48x

Godley & Creme's "Consequences":
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&uid=12:52:39|AM&samples=1&writer=1&sql=A188e4jo70waq

The Babylon Zoo album was a definite one-star, but for some reason it's recently been upgraded to three(although the review is unchanged).

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Monday, 12 May 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Having Fun With Elvis On Stage

― guava, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Man, now I want to hear part two...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd800/d871/d87104bcy6p.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 01:19 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc000/c011/c01153113xe.jpg

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Steve Miller's Rock Love
"A full year had elapsed since the release of Number 5, completing a string of excellent albums by the Steve Miller Band. The unsuspecting record buyer had every right to expect another quality product. What he got instead was this travesty of generic white-boy bluesisms, recorded live but sounding dead."

The Kingston Trio's Everybody's Talkin': The Houston Tapes, Vol. 1
The opening track, the traditional Woody Guthrie tune "Hard, Ain't It Hard," devolves into a bawdy sexual theme (obviously taken from the song's title), and the various jokes about gays and masturbation seem awfully creepy from these guys.

Black Sabbath's Born Again
Widely regarded as the band's creative nadir, Born Again also featured one of the worst covers ever (it's been voted), and the subsequent world tour was so troubled (the band's Stonehenge stage set didn't fit inside most venues) that it would serve as inspiration for the ultimate rock and roll spoof movie, This Is Spinal Tap.

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Archie Shepp's Little Red Moon.
I own this record, it's sort of a blues excursion, nothing to do with the free jazz Shepp is usually associated with, but definitely not worth of just one star.

Herbie Hancock's Feet, Don't Fail Me Now
My favorite line: "[Hancock] submerges his personality underneath the plastic vocals and the idiot four-on-the-floor disco beat." What more can you ask?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 05:58 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

I just realized that 3.5-star albums DON'T EXIST

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 7 July 2003 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

They originally gave Good Charlotte's latest one star (which was going to be mentioned in my Voice article about them) but then the site CHANGED ITS MIND. They still kept the extremely stupid-ass review though.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 7 July 2003 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

is it stupid-ass?

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 7 July 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

It's true - the icon for *** albums is called "rt6.gif", and "rt7.gif" is ****. They're all in numerical order (rt1.gif = one star), so maybe they forgot about it.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Monday, 7 July 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

curtis is absolutely right. i can find 2.5s and 4.5s but no 3.5s

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 7 July 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Check this out: Keepin' the Summer Alive by the Beach Boys; each song on it has its own separate review, but the review for the CD itself is only 32 words.

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Chelsea: "Rocks Off" gets one star, without even the benefit of a review. That's fairly succinct.

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

nine months pass...

REVIVE!

In honor of:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001V1M64.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Doobie Keebler (Charles McCain), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Hung sang it as if the song meant something to him even though he didn't understand the words, which gave the Berkley civil engineering student innocence or, to some of his harsher critics, the appearance of being mildly retarded.

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I liked the Onion's review of this album.

For those who've already forgotten, William Hung is the American Idol contestant whose talentless enthusiasm for "She Bangs" captured the hearts of laugh-loving viewers everywhere. The quickly produced album Inspiration (Koch) features Hung sort-of-singing "Rocket Man," "I Believe I Can Fly," "Circle Of Life," "Hotel California," and other favorites. Guess what? It's not too good. Now, would someone please tell Hung we're laughing at him, not with him? —Keith Phipps

― djdee2005, Wednesday, 14 April 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Gotta love that album cover.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

The cover alone warrants 3 stars!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I like how the graphic designer put his forehead in the lower left corner.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"[pic of 'O-town']

I always remember going to used cd stores and seeing dozens of these. heh"

Please tell me the one on the right is Zack from 'Saved by the Bell'

― Sasha (sgh), Thursday, 15 April 2004 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

..whats funny about the MC Skat Kat review is that they give it a positive shine..

― chris andrews (fraew), Thursday, 15 April 2004 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

REVIVE AGAIN!

In Honor of:

http://www.showbizz.net/uploads/musique/KVCD01.jpg

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:g9c1z82a6yv4

― Orgy of Pragmatism (Charles McCain), Thursday, 2 November 2006 23:48 (nineteen years ago)

Shouldn't his album be "I've Lit A Cigarette And Also My Alcoholic Beverage. And I'm Playing Solitaire In The Corner."?

― Scorpion Tea (Dick Butkus), Thursday, 2 November 2006 23:58 (nineteen years ago)

Oh come on, the album isn't THAT bad. "Dance With A Pimp" could easily be something by one of those G-Unit fellows. And "America's Most Hated" is pretty entertaining.

Erlewine is such a long-winded choad.

― Zwan (miccio), Friday, 3 November 2006 01:33 (nineteen years ago)

"coming out like Janet's titty at the Super Bowl"

― paid in cigarettes (paid in cigarettes), Friday, 3 November 2006 01:44 (nineteen years ago)

Did K-Fed himself write the AllMusic review?

The line about lovin' herb like my wife isn't bad, actually.
(xpost, obviously)

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 3 November 2006 01:46 (nineteen years ago)

K-Fed and Hilton -- these are times which test nu-popists' souls.

― nate p. (natepatrin), Friday, 3 November 2006 03:27 (nineteen years ago)

STE luvs him some Paris...but 4 1/2 stars?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:mtjqoauarijx~T1

― Orgy of Pragmatism (Charles McCain), Friday, 3 November 2006 03:29 (nineteen years ago)

Gone Troppo

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Friday, 3 November 2006 05:22 (nineteen years ago)

nine months pass...

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drg900/g947/g94742jl30e.jpg

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 19 August 2007 08:05 (eighteen years ago)

Haha, the last lines to the Metal Machine Music are great:

It's hard to say what Lou Reed had in mind when he made Metal Machine Music, and Reed has done little to clarify the issue over the years, though he summed it up quite pointedly in an interview in which he said, "Well, anyone who gets to side four is dumber than I am." For the record, I did get to side four. But I got paid for it.

― Tuomas, Sunday, 19 August 2007 13:28 (eighteen years ago)

"Memoirs Of An Officer And Gentleman" alone secures "Love Beach" would have deserved 3 stars at least.

― Geir Hongro, Sunday, 19 August 2007 17:47 (eighteen years ago)

The Moldy Peaches s/t is still 1 1/2 stars. (Meanwhile, "From Under The Cork Tree" is somehow deserving of 4 1/2 stars. Perhaps AMG is bullshit.)

― billstevejim, Sunday, 19 August 2007 17:54 (eighteen years ago)

Black Devil Disco Club - 28 After
http://wm06.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:wvfixqydldde

― aaron d.g., Sunday, 19 August 2007 18:06 (eighteen years ago)

If "I Regret the Flower Power" isn't a lark, it's one of the most unintentionally absurd "dark" dance tunes of all time. It makes the Blue Man Group sound credible and the Bloodhound Gang look like John Cage.

oh really? i mean, really?

i guess "john cage" equals profundity. also this guy's never heard his music.

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Monday, 20 August 2007 02:10 (eighteen years ago)

Because of the design, I never notice how many stars the albums have. I don't want to use up my eyesight on something so stupid. Now, if they want to get away from all that blue-gray...

― J Kaw, Monday, 20 August 2007 04:32 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

oh, Chris Brown

― Roomful of Moogs (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 7 December 2009 21:01 (sixteen years ago)

kells is a hero

― k3vin k., Monday, 7 December 2009 21:40 (sixteen years ago)

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