Imaginary Discographies

BAND NAME Girth
1980 It Ain't about the Length of the Hammer
1981 Cocaine Cutie
1983 Late Night TV Redemption
1985 Everything I needs I can fits in my Jeans
1986 Girth LIVE: People want it Wider
1987 Hangin' Low
1989 A 40 ounce for the Masses: Girth's Greatest Hits

Mini-Bio
Girth was formed when unemployed steel mill worker Eddie Rabbins picked up his guitar and realised he had some stories to tell. Along with his bass-playing cousin Benny Higgins, they set out to redefine a long tradition of yankees who always wanted to be southern redneck rockers. "In those early days, we we're heavily influenced by Lynrd Skynrd, but I didn't think we could ever copy the subtleness of their music. But boy was I wrong." After recruiting classical pianist turned honkytonk piano player Red Lusterhead, all that was missing for them to begin their amazing musical journey was a man to beat the skins. They eventually found their drummer working in a meat shoppe, in the form of a wild-eyed young man named Carl Beatty. Years of slicing up dead animals had not only given Carl stong hands and arms, but an amazing sense of rhythm. After being discovered at a gig at the VFW during a bingo game, Girth was quickly signed to a major label and given a chance to record their dreams to vinyl. The single "It Ain't About the Length of the Hammer" was released to a hungry public in 1980, and remained at the top of the charts for an astonishing 6 consecutive hours. Success quickly took to the boys, sometimes threatening to swallow them up whole. Eddie and Red developed rather severe addictions to cocaine and whip-it's, and for a time the fate of the band seemed to be on shakey ground. But to the delight of fans and shagrin of the critics, the boys did not overdose, but instead started putting out some of the best music of their careers, in the form of the seminal 1981 album, "Cocaine Cutie". 1983's "Late Nite TV Redemption" signaled another change within the band, as Carl became a born again Christian after watching television one night, and then proceeded to start donating large portions of the band's funds to televengalists. Several other band members fell under the same sway as Carl, and very quickly the band was giving away more then they took in. The album was also a commercial flop. The band was almost broke, but found a new chance at a success with their down-and-out image, and released "Everything I needs I can Fits in my Jeans" in 1985. With the new success of the band, all the members of the band became addicted to touring and taking massive amounts of amphetamines and horse tranquilizers. After a brief break up in '86, the boys sobered up and reformed in '87 to release their most introspective album to date "Hanging Low". This signaled yet another change in direction for Girth, and might have led to amazing things if not for the untimely death of Eddie in 1988, in a tragic accident involving a middle-aged hooker, a hot tub, and curling irons. President Reagan declared a national day of mourning on August 15th, 1988, and some of us have been crying ever since. But Girth will always be remember, their music stretching our waist bands as well as our appreciation for southern rock, for generations to come.

Political Desperado (1990) — FFAM contributed “Rocky Mountain Highway Robbery” to this benefit disc. The cut laments sometime-Eagles guitarist Joe Walsh’s narrow loss in the 1980 presidential election. The record raised nearly $24 for Walsh’s failed VP bid in 1992.

Stop, Drop and Rock and Roll (1991) — “Burning Sensation” was featured on this educational album distributed to school kids to raise fire safety awareness. The group was compelled to participate because of Conway Titty’s community service sentence stemming from his previous employment selling flammable bongs outside of Grateful Dead concerts.

Let Loose the Dogs of War (1994) — This charity compilation garnered funds to help return the bones of P.O.W. K-9’s lost during the Vietnam War. “Who Let the Dogs Out and Why Did You Have to Eat Them” was written by Jizzbone during a Quaalude binge and marathon screening of every Vietnam film starring Tom Berenger. The title was later shortened.

Going On 27 (1997) — This disc seeked to raise awareness on the “injustices” of statutory rape laws. The organization’s goal, to add an amendment to the Constitution that requires age to be defined by one’s appearance, has stalled despite the behind-the-scenes support of nearly every lawmaker in the country. FFAM’s cut, “Carnal Communion,” is based on the melody of the Culture Club’s “Karma Chameleon.”

O2B PBR (1999) — While billed as a charity, this one-song album was primarily released to raise alcohol funds for the band and to lobby for a Brew Thru to be built in their neighborhood. The title cut was performed using only beer cans with Father Fellatio & Co. extremely drunk on Pabst Blue Ribbon.

http://www.chunklet.com/current_issue_16_4.cfm

Nope. Google hasn't found it. Dan Schell's site is missing. It's not on Idlehands Workshop anymore. It must not be on the interweb anymore.

THE RATPURE
NEW EP: PURE RAT ATTACK
12" SINGLE: POTASSIUM RAT JUICE B/W: REMIX: POSSUM HATE
SPLIT SINGLE W/RAPTURE: I'M THE RATPURE, HE'S THE DJ
SPLIT SINGLE W/JUNIOR SENIOR: WE ROX, ONE OF THEM IS GAY

To state that George C.Scott is a musical god in the making is beyond dispute. The elder stateman of Hollywood has an immediately recognizable voice that isn't easily imitated, and before he exploded onto the scene in 1990, headbangers worldwide had to make do imitating Robert Plant.
Considering his venerable age and conservative social standing you might think he would start out with Sinatra-esque lounge music or maybe quiet stabs at Philly soul, and you'd be right. He had a long but undistinguished career cranking out lightweight fluff for Columbia. These albums don't have even the slightest spark of his later masterworks. He was obviously losing his enthusiasm and he finally reached his leaden nadir with the torpid Love is in
the Air.
Perspectives on George is an overstuffed box set that has a few of his pre-Skidmark jewels awash in an endless sea of waste. The set includes nearly the entire first and second album, a few tracks from the third, the title track from the fourth as well as several outtakes. It also includes an ace rendition of "Stairway to Heaven" that sounds like it was recorded in the shower.
It was in January of 1987 that the clouds parted, George met punk auteur Jim Dead at a Cure concert and they secretly cut a series of loose ravers. Some of the tracks Jim created there were re-recorded for Jim's 1987 album Skidmark: Underwear while the rest (which had George's vocals) ended up on 1988's Grinch. Jim gave Grinch a limited release on his own Skidmark label, and George became an overnight underground sensation (Grinch nearly made it to tenth place on the Gavin Radio Airplay Charts) and was subsequently re-released two months later.
Creative juices and enthusiasm were flowing again, and George then released the rougher-hewn and more street sensible Old Ugly Fat Dude. George, who had learned the tough street idioms from spending 72 hours absorbing the entire discography of Lou Reed, decided to take a bold risk.
In 1990, that bold risk payed off in spades. His experimentation with NewYork noise rock and New Jack Swing style hip-hop was responsible for his commercial breakthrough. The Rapmeister Cometh was able to hold fourth place on the Billboard Top 200 for more than eight weeks. He was truly beginning to capitalize on his angry old man image by bolstering it with an even more threatening kickass B-Boy pose. He followed this with the even more scathing Issa Connecticut Thang! His second hip-hop LP had put him squarely in NWA territory, even going so far asa cover parody. Taking samples from the Parliment-Funkadelic,Slayer and Minor Threat he was able to blend funk, hardcore and a touch of social commentary into his to-the-point and in-yo-face raps that he shot out in an ever more serious andauthoritative voice.
His third LP as Rapmeister Scott was the indication of the new direction he was planning on taking. Taking a cue from Ice-T and Body Count, he had fused a bass heavy roar with his already overwhelming raps to create the sensation of a runaway train thundering downwill. Apparently, hip-hop was just his proving ground for where he launch himself next, a place where he could solidify his tough image, learn rhythm, sharpen his vocal control and develop a better sense of timing.
Apparently, the Rapmeister was tiring of his gangsta stroll and was feeling his creativity in that genre waning. While attending a local thrash band battle, the frontman of a minor death-metal band called Deathsquirm collapsed on stage and died a few minutes later. After the show, George offered to take over vocal duties for the band and then offered them a contract with Skidmark. After a few months acclimatizing himself to his new style he released his next album: Argonaut.
Argonaut is an incredible speedmetal LP full of power and clever chord structures. George's vocals had never sounded better, and he has a natural talent for rhythm guitar.
He followed up Argonaut with the inspired and even more ear-damaging Endless Devistation. With the addition of Steven Brubakers (a former Jim Dead alumnus) industrial/grindcore drone in a couple tracks gives a lush yet prickly bed for Georges vicious vocal tirades and Deathsquirms angular and brutal riffage to roll in. There is also more suggestions of a shift away from theSeattle sub-pop trappings of Argonaut, into a fusion of Gothic Mope and Grindcore.
The excellent Live in Tschernobyl double album was recorded during the Endless Devistation tour and is well worth hearing. Several riots break out during the recording, especially on the B-side of the second disk. Although this live document is intense and serious for the most part, it isn't without a few dashes of humour. The A side of the first disk has a medley of Argonaut tracks sung smarmily with Glenn Danzigs vocal backup, and the disk ends with a
intentionally awkward reading of Georges own "Love is in the Air" as a way of finally kissing off Georges entire period with Columbia. The second disk has a backwards nod toward his rapper days with a (relatively) quiet original called "Put yo clothes on straight" which lambastes Kriss Kross and then states that "Hammer has an itty bitty mallet/ i can tell ya man its true"
The widely available bootleg from Excruciating Vomit is a great set marred by muddy sound and terribly choppy editing.

...wow.

Female American singer born in 1965.

Roots and influences: Madonna, Blondie, Donna Summer, the creator of Autotune
Similar acts: Samantha Fox, Sabrina, Sinitta, Sonia
Followers: Corona, Captain Hollywood Project, Aqua

Sarazustra released her debut single "Baby I'm Yours" in late 1986 and she was immediately a chart sensation. Audiences immediately fell for her (not particularly) trademark Eurodisco and her videos featuring a scantily clad singer miming her hits. However, the hits stopped coming, and in 1988, she posed for Playboy as an attempt to regain her fame. This was only partly a success, causing her to have a breast operation and pose for Hustler in 1991 in a last attempt to receive some attention.

Discography:

Albums:
"Yours All Night" (1987)
"Open All Night" (1988)
"Stripped" (1990)
"Spread" (1993)

Compilations:
"Baby I'm Yours - the hits" (1994)

DVD's
"Baby I'm Yours - the videos" (1994)
"Lolita Porn Party" (1995)
"Pussy Spread Open" (1996)
"The Girl Who Couldn't Say No" (1997)
"The Man With The Golden Cock" (1998)
"Porn Party" (1998)
"Young Sluts - All For You" (1999)

1981 A Celebration of Roses EP
1982 Don’t Panic 12”
1982 Painted Windows 12”
1982 Trials and Torment LP
1982 The Other Side 12”
1982 The Joy of Living Underneath EP
1983 The Singing Ground LP
1983 (Such a) Rapturous Child 12”
1984 Smoke and Heaven LP
1985 Turn It Around LP
1986 Dancing for a New Tomorrow EP
1986 She’s So Everything 12”
1987 Wonder What You’re Doing Tonight 12”

1991 Spinning the Web: Singles 82-84 CD
1991 Resurrect CD

1992 “Blood of the Vampire” included on “Gothick Dreams” compilation CD

1981 Get the Bends EP
1982 Buddy Fluids 7"
1982 Macaroni 12”
1982 If I Could Walk That Way (I Wouldn't Need Aftershave) 12"
1982 99p? Not Bloody Likely! EP
1982 Smash Hits of Tomorrow LP
1983 Elephant In My Pajamas 7"
1984 'Allo 'Allo!? LP

(compilations)

1989 Over (singles and rarities) CD

(solo projects )

Spoony and the Eclairs

1986 Where Have I Been All My Life? 12"

Bobby Timmerman. Born 1943, American singer/songwriter

Roots and influences: Ledbelly, Woody Guthrie
Similar artists: Donovan, Pete Seeger, Joan Baez
Followers: The Byrds, The Beau Brummels

Bobby Timmerman has had a fairly usual career for a folk singer, in that he started off accoustic and then turned electric. This is not at all unusual. What is somewhat unusual though, is Timmerman's consistent changes in political and religious view, which has made the lyrical content of his music quite fascinating to follow throughout the years. Timmerman tends to be quite fanatic once he adopts a particular faith, but then, he will usually abandon it not much later.

Anyway, here is his albums discography:

Stop The War (1963)
Comrades Against Parliamentarism (1964)
Crush Capitalism And Kill The Rich (1965)
Hare Hare Krishna (1967)
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare (1968)
Protect Property From The Majority (1970)
Proud Of The American Dream (1971)
Objectivism And The Fountainhead (1972)
Jesus Lives (1974)
I Let Him Guide Me Through My Life (1975)
Life Is His Miracle (1976)
White Power (1978)
I Hate Niggers (1979)
Death And Doom (1981)
Killed By The Death Of Lucifer (1982)
Born In The Sign Of Aquarius (1984)
The Force Within Me And The Stars (1985)
Gaya And The Forces Of Nature (1986)
Them Baldheads In Babylon (1988)
Irie Rasta Sinsemilla (1990)
Allah Allah Achbarn (1992)
Abdullah Ali Mohammad (1994)
My Niggaz And My Homies (1997)
My Biaatch is My Nigga (1999)
What Has The World Come To? (2002)
Everything Was a Lot Better During World War II (2003)