This is a thread about Shakira's bum

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Because it should really be the subject of at least BA (Hons) course somewhere in the world.

I like the video to "Whatever/ Wherever" coz she rolls in mud. And she hates George Bush as well. Geez, a gal after my own heart.

― Calz (Calz), Sunday, 18 May 2003 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

poseur

― Calum (Calum), Sunday, 18 May 2003 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

agreed

― calzy (calzy), Sunday, 18 May 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

uhuh

― CalumX, Sunday, 18 May 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Moderators - in case of Googling can you see it to it that the arsehole posing as "Calum" is removed so I can re-claim my name. Wot a cock.

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah it's pretty easy to be for peace NOW

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's get to the point: Shakira's butt is mathematically perfect.

― David Allen, Monday, 19 May 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

the j.lo flashdance video is a sight to behold

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

so is this guy just a calum impersonator or what's going on?

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, this guy doesn't quite have the tone down ie. he's no darrell hammond

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Soon there will be a Crisis Of Inifinite Calums.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

haha - Supergirl to thread!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I know how to make Shakira's bum look even more perfect...

All she needs to do is jiggle it on my lap!!! Or any part of me for that matter...

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah see, something's off. this guy's an imposter.

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not an imposter, but this registering business means that some weasel dick can come in and post as me. Wot do you want me to say? Hey James, in the ideal world would you be re-incarnated as Shakira's lacey lingerie?

Actually...

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

something something j. lo's thong

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, and hey, she makes music too.

If you talked to Shakira, would you have her face backwards to you the whole time? That would rock.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

If I had Shakira? As in if I "had" Shakira? I think I'd be looking at her "other side" if you get my drift...

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

j lo video?

― Savin All My Love 4 u (Savin 4ll my (heart) 4u), Monday, 19 May 2003 05:21 (twenty-two years ago)

The fractalization and destruction of Calum as a force
of evil is a beautiful thing to behold. It's like the
fitting end to an exhausting saga.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Monday, 19 May 2003 05:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Squirrel nuts more like. And not enough people are talking about the natural wonder that is Shakira's backside.

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't find Shakira inordinately physically attractive. Her music can be interesting though, even though I'm usually trying to like it more than I do.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 19 May 2003 10:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Who?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Monday, 19 May 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Shakatak

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 19 May 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

so is the j. lo flashdance video out in the uk yet cuz I know calum and his mini-me's are just gonna freak when they see that thing

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Soon there will be a Crisis Of Inifinite Calums.
Well, actually, Anthony...that would not be in our favour. Because in the end, Calum-1, Calum-2, Calum-X, Calum-S and Calum-5 would end up being merged into a Calum stronger than any of the original Calums.
...
But, wait...at least his backstory and he'd suddenly get better writers...

Oh, fuck...I say, bring it ON!

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 19 May 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

What the fuck is this, Voltron? Custos, stop saying such freaky things. Maybe the mult-Calums will have sex with each other and we won't have to hear the fusellage from his lack of gettin' it on anymore.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 19 May 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, it's here. But David Beckham has corn-rows now, so nobody noticed j lo silently sneaking through the back door in her thong.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Monday, 19 May 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe the mult-Calums will have sex with each other...
Calum...having sex?
...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
...
the idea of Calum getting it on...even with himself...is so bloody unlikely that I can't even imagine it'll ever happen.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 19 May 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

her arse is just not all it's cracked up to be ;)

― blutroniq (blutroniq), Monday, 19 May 2003 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

But you'd still do that, wouldnt you

― ss, Monday, 19 May 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

My favorite Calum is Calum X. So militant.

― scott m (mcd), Monday, 19 May 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I prefer Martin Luther Calum myself.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 19 May 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

gimme Huey P. Calum

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.heptune.com/agent.jpg

― jm (jtm), Monday, 19 May 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

haha - 'helllooo missstur anderrrrson'

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 19 May 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

My. Name. Is. Neo.

― Lord Custos Neo (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 19 May 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

You are all such freakin nerds.

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

hey at least we get girls

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 19 May 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I need to produce Shakira's next album. Would it help if I learned Spanish?

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 19 May 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Liking Shakira's bum = not getting girls?!?!

I don't get ILM. I really don't, but I suspect you think I'm some fat, anti-social, acne skinned geek. Har har!

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

and you live under a bridge?

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i am mad jealous of calum's knowledge of italian cinema, f'rizzle

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I like it when she crawls through the mud going "Nonanonanonanonanaaaaaaaaaaay"

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't get ILM.

evidently not

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.heptune.com/agent.jpg http://www.heptune.com/agent.jpg http://www.heptune.com/agent.jpg http://www.heptune.com/agent.jpg

He's multiplying...

― jm (jtm), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I suspect you think I'm some fat, anti-social, acne skinned geek.

Ding ding ding!

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 19 May 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Three dings because the suspicion, the thinking and the being are all surely accurate.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

what is it that drives so many fat, anti-social, acne skinned geeks to write on the internet "i suspect you think i'm some fat, anti-social, acne skinned geek"?

...oh crap!

― mig, Tuesday, 20 May 2003 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

so whatever happened to the real Calum? did he just give up?

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 07:45 (twenty-two years ago)

HA - you actually couldn't be more wrong! Suspect what you want, but you are sooo wrong.

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

so you're anorexic, clear-skinned and out every night with friends?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not anorexic but I'm attractive to whom I want to be attractive to and that's fine with me.

Sadly I'm not out every night with friends as I currently work back shift.

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

yes but how do you keep your pores so free of grime and sebum?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Never ever had a spot problem. No, really - I went through my teens without it either. I'm really quite thankful.

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you hairy, Calum?

Foucault.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

The Boricua Booty from the Bronx beats the Yodeling Pepsi Whore any day of the week.

Oh, sorry... "blah blah Calum blah"

― Stuart (Stuart), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

...and didn't we know that Calum (or 'Calz') would be responsible for such a banal thread.....

― RUSS T, Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

is that a silent b?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks i'm here all year

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

...and didn't we know that Calum (or 'Calz') would be responsible for such a banal thread.....
Actually if you had said "such an anal thread" I think you'd be closer to the truth.
(I mean anal-retentive on Cal(z|um)'s part, not anal as in Shakira's Bum.)
But if I ever restart my band, I'm gonna rename it Shakira's Bum.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T LIKE CALUM THEN DON'T TALK TO HIM YOUR IDIOCY IS MORE IRRITATING THAN HE IS

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Valium for Dan, methinks......

― russ t, Tuesday, 20 May 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan, we have the poignantly tragic delusion that we can change him for the better; if we admonish his antisocial behaviour, thus creating negative feedback when he misbehavehaves...it is our hope that this will discourage misbehaviour in future.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Though at this point, I think it time to stop verbally admonishing him and start repeatedly smacking him in the nose with a rolled up newspaper is in order.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

It's only a banal thread because not one of you have mentioned your fave moment or fantasy involving the universal icon that is Shakira's bum...

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

calum is my favourite arse...why else would i post on his threads? (its like with Geir everyone was perversely fascinated with trying to understand his motives, his beliefs...and naturally compelled to challenge them and try to change his stance)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

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