who did Paul Anka fuck?

(Mrs. Peacock in the Kitchen with the Candlestick, etc.)

howev, I've heard that Alanis's "You Oughtta Know" is about him.

Anyway, I agree that she could have swept it from her life, but she wouldn't do it, which is just tops.

Well, not Michael Jackson f.a.k.o.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8304118.stm

The "new" Michael Jackson track premiered on Monday was written in 1983 by the star and singer Paul Anka, it has emerged.

Few details about This Is It - the first track to emerge since Jackson's death - were originally released.

But later on Monday, the Jackson estate confirmed Anka had co-written the song - originally called I Never Heard - after he had threatened legal action.

A version of the song was recorded by Puerto Rican singer Safire in 1991.

Jackson and Anka wrote the track for possible inclusion on the latter's 1983 album Walk A Fine Line.

Anka told celebrity website TMZ that Jackson then "stole the tapes" from his studio.

Anka, 68, told the Associate Press news agency that, after he complained that he had not been credited, Jackson's estate moved quickly to acknowledge his involvement and promised him 50% of the song's profits.

"They did the right thing," he said.

"I don't think that anybody tried to do the wrong thing - it was an honest mistake."

"I don't think that anybody tried to do the wrong thing..."

Except Michael Jackson, who was a dirty thief!

arr, he was a bad man with the smooth criminal, so he was...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/1xtra/tx/gallery/media/pa_jackson_jackson_debbie_s.jpg

"...What a lovely way of saying how much you love me..."

"I HAS A BABY!"

"I HAS SOMEONE'S BABY"

I don't think there's anything weird about American Idol heaping praise on Anka. There's a lot more to his career than "My Way".

Paul Anka was born on July 30, 1941, in Ottawa, Canada, a son of Lebanese immigrants. When he was fourteen, he cut his first record at a local studio. The song was called “I Confess.” When he was fifteen, he went to Los Angeles, tried to make it in the recording business, flopped, went home. When he was sixteen, he went to New York, tried to make it in the recording business, succeeded, and became known as the writer and performer of “Diana,” which, within a few years, had sold twenty million copies. (This was 1957, three years after Elvis Presley recorded “That’s All Right.”) “Diana” was, for many years, the second-best-selling single ever released, outsold only by “White Christmas.” It had been written for Anka’s babysitter Diana Ayoub, whom he loved but who did not love him back. When he was seventeen, he went on tour with the Caravan of Stars, a showcase that included Bobby Darin, Fabian, Buddy Holly, and Annette Funicello. Chuck Berry was also on the Caravan of Stars but refused to ride the bus, instead following in his pink Cadillac. In these months, Anka fell in love again, this time with Funicello, for whom he wrote “It’s Really Love.” Years later, stripped of lyrics, this became the theme of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, a turn that, all by itself, brought Anka $800,000 a year in residuals.
Anka has written more than nine hundred songs, including three No. 1s: “Diana,” “Lonely Boy,” and “You’re Having My Baby.” He had five songs in the top twenty before he turned eighteen. These include “Put your Head on my Shoulder,” “You Are My Destiny,” and “Puppy Love.” He has also had hits in French, Spanish, and Italian. His score for the movie The Longest Day, in which he also acted, was nominated for an Academy Award. He has five children, all girls whose names begin with the letter A,[1] one of whom married the sitcom warhorse Jason Bateman, which makes Paul Anka Jason Bateman’s father-in-law. He owns the Ottawa Senators of the NHL but has become a naturalized U.S. citizen. In his living room, he has, according to Cigar Aficionado magazine, a wall with four TV sets, an echo of the basement room in Graceland where Elvis watched three TV sets, showing Westerns, usually, simultaneously. According to a guide at Graceland, Elvis borrowed this habit from LBJ, who used to watch all three network newscasts simultaneously. A pillow on the couch in Anka’s living room is embossed with the words Be Reasonable. Do It My Way.

Paul Anka is, in other words, one of the most successful songwriters of all time, having had hits before the Beatles and after Nirvana, having survived the British invasion, disco, metal, hip-hop, grunge.

http://www.believermag.com/issues/200606/?read=article_cohen

"Chuck Berry was also on the Caravan of Stars but refused to ride the bus, instead following in his pink Cadillac."

Annette Funicello was a notorious farter.

i think berry would have been into that?

i know, right? but in my fantasy universe where chuck berry decides he'd rather travel by car instead of suffer annette's mighty fart blasts, he's really NOT into it for some reason!

not trying to ruin your fantasy universe, i just couldn't pass up a coprophagia joke!

i like "put your head on my shoulder" fwiw

..and play a tune with your arse...

Paul Anka wants to thank her for having his baby.

IIRC, there is a track on Celebrities At Their Worst with Paul Anka reaming the shit out of his band and reminding them what a big celebrity he is and when one guy speaks up he sounds about 112 years old.

one of my favorites, up there with the buddy rich tape

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfp7v3ZtPW8

"When I fuckin' move, I slice like a fuckin' hammer."

As the previous version posted just above is gone, let us enjoy a new upload

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG3GkBxsrQo

i was about to comment about how much i love this, but looking up i see that's evident! lol. thanks for the re-up.

"Don't make a fuckin' maniac outta me!"

I think that ship has sailed, Paul.

I don't know if I ever told this story here before...

When I worked at the William Morris Agency in the 90s, my office was directly across from CR's (not his real initials) office. CR was a lifer, he had been an agent for a long time starting with his own agency that got absorbed into another, then that one got absorbed into William Morris. Anyone around for that long usually weren't ego-needy. CR was a partner in the company and content to be the agent for a lot of comedians, fun oddballs (he was Boy George's agent for a few months), and a couple of old guard pop acts until he could retire, go fishing in Montana, and never return to California again.

Somehow, CR got stuck being the agent for Paul Anka. I think Anka had been with William Morris forever and stayed loyal with the company even if his rep. had changed a few times. Anka was, as they say, "a good earner" - even in the 1990s, but not enough of an earner to be worthy of an outside lunch meeting. Anka had to come into the office.

So some years before (I think when CR became Anka's agent) Anka bought CR a gift: a giant crystal sculpture best described as a PG-13 representation of the phallus from A Clockwork Orange. You know the one. Solid crystal - probably cost tens of thousands of 1980s dollars and could only have come from a gallery that exclusively deals with cocaine lords. It weighs 60 pounds, shows all fingerprints, and takes up an uncomfortable amount of table space.

CR immediately put this thing in storage after receiving it from Anka, but it was a test - Anka immediately noticed that his "gift" wasn't on display and immediately threw a deranged, insane tantrum about it - supposedly he definitely smashed a glass and some other piece of art. Anka calmed down and an armistice agreed to only because of "he's a good earner." What this meant was that in the future, anytime Paul Anka visited the office, his "gift" had to be out and somewhere on display in CR's office. (In reality, it was CR's assistant who had to do this and she totally could have taken action about it now)

believe you have told some other stories from that stint but didn’t recognize this one, thanks.

I've got enough of them for a dedicated thread, but they're all very random - no through line. The Hampton Grease Band story alone is singular.

To cycle back to a recent thread, I notice Anka pronounces Graham the British way, or rather the non-American way.

drives me nuts that so many people's reactions to the Anka outburst are "well if that's the way you gotta be to put on a great show, so be it".

That’s a strong cup of coffee to listen to on a Sunday morning. Couldn’t even make it to the end of it.

the guys get shirts!

drives me nuts that so many people's reactions to the Anka outburst are "well if that's the way you gotta be to put on a great show, so be it".

Similarly with the Buddy Rich tapes:

Through it all the message was excellence and perfection and bringing your best talent to the bandstand. Buddy always played at 200%. He just pushed it to the max and that’s exactly what he demanded from everybody. He demanded excellence and perfection and wanted the very best that you could give, so the message was purely professional and musical.

Reg Presley-lite.

Mr Telecom, don't worry about a throughline, random posts is aok...
(not sure what could top Anka's crystal phallus flex, though...)

I had to help move some glass thing like that once– well it was a big glass table, but still. Had some horror movies visions whilst doing so of the glass shattering and piercing flesh.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/58/RockSwings.png
Paul Anka - 'Rock Cock Swings'

looks like Jason Alexander mixed with the late Sydney Pollack

To cycle back to a recent thread, I notice Anka pronounces Graham the British way, or rather the non-American way.

― Continuous Two-Tone Warble (Tom D.), Sunday, August 6, 2023 4:02 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

it's because he's Canadian

thanks for that story, Elvis T!

I've got enough of them for a dedicated thread, but they're all very random - no through line. The Hampton Grease Band story alone is singular.

― Elvis Telecom, Sunday, August 6, 2023 1:45 AM (sixteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hampton Grease Band? I'm all ears.

Wish this was a poll.

not Diana

I am glad someone else immediately thought of Clue when reading this thread title