worst lyricists of all time?

Bob Dylan
Lou Reed
Leonard Cohen

Whoever else is considered a good lyricist.

Okay, now we can move on to the real ones.

The chick from the Rose Chronicles was pretty terrible.

Weirdo

The other day I came across
Someone I knew and he was lost
I don't care what we have done,
You never will believe it
It's is a life that's made for me
Where I can be completely free
So long as I obey this sound
That echoes all around
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me

Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key

Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key

"So," I thought "this cannot be
There's someone else in here with me"
I don't care where we have been,
You never will believe it
I know you and you know me
And we're as happy as we can be
I know where this world belongs,
It don't mean much to me
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key

Pretending not to see his gun
I said: "Let's go out and have some fun"

Kind of terrible, kind of brilliant.

I always thought it was pretty brilliant myself. It just is.

But what about:

Oh I've just come
From the land of the sun
From a war that must be won
In the name of truth

But the glory of NO was never held in the lyrics anyway. Bernie couldn't even sing yet they managed to pull it off.

Like I say, I love New Order but their lyrics never held up to analysis, even if their clunkiness was actually their strength. Fuck, does that even make any sense?

Ech. You might be onto something, Nick.

That's from the new LP. Couple it with the dreariest of dreary mortgage-rock you can imagine.

I honestly didn't know that they were still making records.

"Your heart is like a dagger
My night is on the fire
Lets come together tonight
Lets come" x1000

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone

Wayne Hussey is far worse, because most Mission songs don't make any sense at all. They're just a collection of unrelated goth cliches sat next to each other.

Any lyricist who starts a song with the line "I feel so extraordinary"...well, they're ok by me.

flowersdie re. Mission songs: "They're just a collection of unrelated goth cliches sat next to each other.".... isn't that the Mission themselves, though, just a bunch of sad old goth cliches?

And the Madonna album - 'Mother and Father', while it's one of the album's standout tracks, has abominable lyrics.

"Creep" by Stone Temple Pilots (lyrics by Scott Weiland)

Forward yesterday
Makes me wanna stay
What they said was real
Makes me wanna steal
Livin' under house
Guess I'm livin' I'm a mouse
All's I gots is time
Got no meaning just a rhyme

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It turns to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
This feeling as the dawn
It turns to gray

Feelin' uninspired
Think I'll start a fire
Everybody run
Bobby's got a gun
Think you're kinda neat
Then she tells me I'm a creep
Friends don't mean a thing
Guess I'll leave it up to me

and anyway, i'm just shocked no one's brought up that favourite Des'ree line from a few years back rhyming "ghost" with "toast"...;)

Mumbo jumbo, listen to the whispers of madness
We have climbed mountains of dust
We have seen gold gather rust
Hocus pocus the stampede of my heart
We have sailed on stars through the air
We have flown on the wings of a prayer
Into the blue, only with you
Into the blue, only with you, into the blue

Gasoline rainbows swimming in the puddles in the street
Whichever way the wind blows we've got the whole damn
World crawling at our feet
Laughing canyons and everglades
Candle flames and razor blades
Dancing through the poppyfields, hand in hand we cascade
Into the blue, only with you
Into the blue, only with you, into the blue

There's a singing dwarf on the streets of New York
There's a shuffling man with plastic on his head
There's a preacher woman crying in the traffic
Crying for the living crying for the dead
The waste of it all, the waste of it all
And there's more at stake than we could ever know
'Cos when we're together we always fall
Into the blue, only with you
Into the blue, only with you, into the blue

I haven't seen that one on the Poetry on the Way series yet, but there have been a few good ones (and a few godawful ones) - there's one I've seen a few times that I'm absolutely in love with but I never have a pen/memory with me.

I wouldn't know this, but I accidently saw them at the Guinness Fleadh in Chicago a few years ago. I was pained.

<<"I know y'all be lovin this shit right here/I'm not even creative enough to come up with a rhyme for 'right here' other than 'right here'">>

my words exactly

"I Just ShotJohn Lennon"

It was the fearful night of December 8th.

He was returning home from the studio late.

He had perseptively known that it wouldn't be nice.

Because in 1980, he paid the price.

John Lennon died. [X6]

With a Smith & Wesson 38,

John Lennon's life was no longer a debate.

He should have stayed at home,

He should have never cared,

And the man who took his life declared,

He said I just shot John Lennon.

He said I just shot John Lennon.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah...

I just shot John Lennon.

He said I just shot John Lennon.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah..."

gets you right here (*clasps hand to chest*), doesn't it?

Or something like that...

"There's a hole in the sky.
Don't ask me why.
Because I don't know."

reviving this thread in the interest of accumulating nominations for a poll. of the people mentioned on this thread, i'm especially drawn to bernie taupin, dolores o'riordan and jim morrison. to which i'd add brad nowell (yes, i was defending sublime on the singles thread, but i admit there's a strong case for his inclusion here) and ezra koenig (i assume he's culpable for the vampire weekend lyrics). who are the other key contenders? i want maybe 20 (with examples!) so we can settle this with a DEFINITIVE ILM POLL.

and in my mind, to be really terrible, you have to have some combination of poetic ambition and abysmal execution. being high-profile, and maybe even revered for your lyrics by fans, helps. oh, and on that ground i would add: neil peart.

Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon.

all i know is, barney sumner's horrible, horrible cliches/lyrics read terribly but sound great in context, somehow.

and taupin's written enough good lyrics to get a pass for his misses.

unfortunately i can't think of any worse lyricists to deflect attention from those two at the moment

Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon.

I think Thurston is actually worse, these days at least.

Actually, I always preferred Kim's songs.

did i already say the guy from bush on here? gavin? he's the worst ever. just jaw-droppingly bad. like he went to a random grunge/nu-metal lyric generator for every song. he should win an award.

I think I'd read a Sumner interview where he said the lyrics were always the last part of the track, worked out quickly after everything else was in place. I don't get the feeling Sonic Youth work hard on their lyrics either. At least they've never made or destroyed a SY song for me.

Ctrl-F is telling me that no-one's mentioned the word "Corgan" yet on this thread. So, him.

taupin is weird. some super-super dud stuff but also some greatness, and some stuff that should be super-dud but turns out to be great in context (e.g. "holiday inn," "rotten peaches," shit, prolly half of madman really)

nowell's a for-real contender

also: carabba, durst... blue october dude maybe too small time to bother with but what he lacks in profile he makes up for in awful

carabba

i'd say emo boys don't count, cuz they'd just run away with this and not make it any fun

new order lyrics have never bothered me. maybe because they suit the sort of deliberately anonymous aesthetic of the band. i don't get the sense that you're supposed to notice the words, except in a general atmospheric sense.

sort of surprised the other sumner isn't mentioned yet on this thread...

Perhaps not worst, but surely meritorious of a Duran Duran Lyrical Redundancy Award:

Sir Paul for "But in this ever changing world in which we live in"
John Mellencamp for "I cannot forget from where it is I come from"

Oooh, I also need to nominate Annie Lennox. Those last couple of solo albums were lexicons of clunkers, along the lines of this gem from her Eurythmics days:
"And if you ever had any kind of love for me/you kept it all so well hid"

sheeeeit but that johnny melon song's all bout how he's from a small town. he don't need no book larnin.

Isn't it actually "But in this ever changing world in which we're livin'?"

song lyrics should take no longer to compose than your average ILM post...

I grew up near that there small town what Johnny Cougar was a-singin' 'bout. He's a regular vox populi.

I'm sorry, but Ocean Colour Scene own this thread.

but it doesn't really matter when the judgements are said
'cos we all take our chances to find out romance is in some others bed
and you might burn your fingers hock your best rings for those
who'd have you standing naked then publicly auction the use of a hose

Anthony Keidis
Whoever wrote lyrics to Living Colour songs
Simon LeBon (or whoever wrote lyrics to Duran Duran songs)
Neil Diamond
Jewel

Here's the worst Jewel lyric:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be, we're all okay
And not to worry
'Cause worry is wasteful and useless
In times like these

I won't be made useless
Won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
But it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters

I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands

I mean, is someone trying to take her hands?

I don't know where all my hostility towards sublime is coming from, but they really belong here (see the March 26, 1992 poll thread for proof).

Simon LeBon (or whoever wrote lyrics to Duran Duran songs)

NO. This song, for ex., is like JG Ballard level greatness:

Out on the tar plains, the glides are moving
All looking for a new place to drive
You sit beside me so newly charming
Sweating dewdrops glisten freshing your side

And the sun drips down bedding heavy behind
The front of your dress - all shadowy lined
And the droning engine throbs in time
With your beating heart

Way down the lane away, living for another day
The aphids swarm up in the drifting haze
Swim seagull in the sky towards that hollow western isle
My envied lady holds you fast in her gaze

(chorus) (chorus)

Sing blue silver

And watching lovers part, I feel you smiling
What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind
To tear out from your eyes, with a thought to stiffen brooding lies
And I'll only watch you leave me further behind

(chorus) (chorus)

Sing blue silver
Sing, sing.. blue silver

(theres more to this kind of camouflage)
(more than just colour and shape)
(whos going now, in to a classiomatic? )

blue october dude

― butt-rock miyagi (rogermexico.), Wednesday, May 6, 2009 12:19 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

seconded.

i'm seeing a major lack of chris martin in this thread. easy target?

Isn't it actually "But in this ever changing world in which we're livin'?"

I've decided it's "But if this ever changing world in which we're livin' / Makes you give in and cry." So there's one less excuse to make fun of Paul.

All the other excuses are still valid.

look, it's bush, okay? beat this!

the mind is all we kiss everything
we say we love it's the skin we're in
you're a retrograde a vacancy
you're the one that I love
the hate in me
lazy day on a darker breed
to have is not what it's made to be
you come alone on a mass attack
sucking your tantric suck
fooling your one-eyed cat

we don't mind

we deviate our gravy brains
set em on fire they're all the same
I am lionface
no sanchko panza
I'm riddled by you
I could've been better

I'm a monkey on a drip
sucker monkey on a drip

you take such pretty photos
when will you be worthy of your good side
where will you be
when the clouds break
and it all takes
just a little more than you have
we don't mind

living in a cage washing in a bird bath :: sinking in a fish bowl on a broken farm :: i try to never lie i really do :: i wonder if my friends :: will get me through :: conscious of the way as best as we can :: 17 ways to kill a man :: states we've been through

killing nostalgia for future swims :: trash all your bridges :: kill the rock and roll thing :: i want to move on with no complaints

building our walls with yesterday :: might as well shine before you slide :: might as well live before you die :: states we've been through

a whole lot more of emptiness

living in a state of constant changing :: a river of flux for our tasting :: i try to never lie i really do :: i wonder if my friends :: will get me through :: it always seems to rain when you leave :: i try to stem the flow as we bleed :: states we've been through

i memorise the basics strange faces :: tread slowly for i know :: there's a thousand miles to go :: without blinking gravitate spacewards :: find a home for the head from my basement :: no darkness ever left

this is the night this is the sound :: here comes the warm machine :: such a warm machine

some days are playful making play faces :: but we will not let it through :: the darkness and the sense :: of being bored to lose

this is the life this is the ground here :: comes the warm machine such a war machine

if we never know we can only feel i'll take :: the help i'll take a slide warm alright now :: cos i feel alright i memorise the basics

this is the night this is the sound here comes the warm machine

crucified
for eternal sins
re-invent myself
shape my alter skin

try to break the mold
severed hold
first you find your threshold bevels
breathing out your toxic levels

long slow rope is hangin
now we know what's comin

oh superman
where have you gone
with a little more time
and a six leaf clover
just a little more head
to make you bolder
just a little more sound

been playing tricks you know
she got sucked so dry

we destroy ourselves
to rise again
open up yourself
like a jesus son

only way out is through
way past you
first you get to human levels
run right through your bullshit pedals

long slow rope is hanging
now we know what's coming

oh superman
where have you gone
with a little more time
and a six leaf clover
just a little more head
to make you bolder
just a little more sound
just a little more sound

been playing tricks you know
he got sucked so dry and you oughta know how to lose

long slow rope is hanging

oh superman
what have you done

with a little more time
and a six leaf clover
just a little more head
to make you bolder
just a little more sound
just a little more sound

it's EVERY song. that's what's so astounding. every single song is a nonsensical mishmash. it's a wonder, really.

This thread's been going on for six years, and I'm the first person to mention the godawful horror that is Alanis Morissette?

How ’bout getting off of these antibiotics
How ’bout stopping eating when I’m full up
How ’bout them transparent dangling carrots
How ’bout that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

Seabound are German, so this is probably a bit unfair to be picking on their bog-horrible 17 year old emo lyrics, but still

She was attracted to trouble
Angel at risk
I met her in the summer
She was cheerful
Outgoing, I guess
She was hurt when she was little
At heart she remained a child
She talked too loud in public
But she tasted like candy
Orange-cream candy

Uh.. yes. OK.

Also, the Crash Test Dummies blow everyone else in this thread away (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/crashtestdummies/keepalidonthings.html)

Sting has been mentioned already, but he deserves another mention.

In Europe and America, there's a growing feeling of hysteria
Conditioned to respond to all the threats
In the rhetorical speeches of the Soviets
Mr. Khrushchev said we will bury you
I don't subscribe to this point of view
It'd be such an ignorant thing to do
If the Russians love their children too

How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer's deadly toy
There is no monopoly of common sense
On either side of the political fence
We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too

There is no historical precedent
To put the words in the mouth of the president
There's no such thing as a winnable war
It's a lie we don't believe anymore
Mr. Reagan says we will protect you
I don't subscribe to this point of view
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too

We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
What might save us me and you
Is if the Russians love their children too

I'd like to refute the Corgan nomination, which I really can't believe I'm doing. But, as much crap as he has penned over the years (particularly in the last 8 or 9 years), there really are some lyrical gems in his catalog.