This is the thread where Brits lobby Parliament to have an official "Holly Valance" bank holiday...

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Us guys have a hard enough time of it - basically running the country, working the hardest jobs, making the best music and films and keeping the economy in a good state. So why shouldn't we be rewarded? I think a great idea would be to have a national Holly Valance day where by law Ms Valance must appear naked for at least 10 hours on television during the day and go about her daily routine - followed "Big Brother" style by a camera crew. Meanwhile, the only women allowed out on the street are chicks who pass a "Holly Valance lookalike contest". Who thinks this is a great idea and would create a generally very positive attitude throughout the country?

Calz (Calz), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes! You want this guys (and girls who like girls). You know you do.

Calz (Calz), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

well...where to begin eh? picture of gay men with their tops off? agent smiths? delete ILM buttons? sigh, decisions decisions...

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i look forward to these threads now, its just pure throwaway spaz 'get it out of your system' meta-bollocks - come on ILM posters don't let me down!

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the big thing for this thread could be old Def II presenters: Magenta DeVine, Simon O'Brian, and the ilk.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

my head hurts.

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't see how it could hurt if the laydeez were allowed a special Stefan Dennis day, too, where all the same criteria apply, just substituting the Don't It Make Ya Feel Good singer and former Neighbours star for Holly ...

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

In the meantime here's a recipe for a nice steak and kidney pie:

Steak and Kidney Pie
by Holly Jones


Serves 4
Preparation time 30 mins to 1 hour
Cooking time 1 to 2 hours

Ingredients

600g/1lb5oz stewing steak, diced
280g/10oz ox kidney, trimmed and finely sliced
125g/4oz plain flour
salt and pepper to taste
1 onion, peeled and chopped
1 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
7.5ml/½tbsp tomato purée
150ml/5fl oz beef stock
225g/8oz puff pastry
1 egg, beaten for glazing

Method

1. Heat the oven to 220C/425F/Gas 7.
2. Put the steak and kidney into a bowl and toss in the flour and some salt and pepper.
3. Put the onion, meat and parsley into a pie dish and pack down.
4. Pour in the tomato purée, stock and enough water to come half way up the dish.
5. Roll out the pastry to 2mm/1/8in thick and cut a long strip to fit around the pie dish.
6. Brush the lip of the dish with water and press the strip of pastry on to it.
Brush the strip with more water and put the pastry over the top to make a lid. Cut away any excess and crimp the edges. Cut a 1cm/½in hole in the centre to allow the steam to escape and decorate the pie with any leftover pastry trimmings.
7. Chill the pie for 10 minutes, brush with the beaten egg and then bake in the oven for 30 minutes until the pastry is golden and risen. Decrease the heat to 180C/350F/Gas 4 and continue cooking the pie for another 90 minutes until the meat is tender. If the pastry gets too dark, cover with foil.
Show me more beef steak recipes

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Casserole of Beef in Red Wine
by Raymond Blanc


Serves 4
Preparation time less than 30 mins
Cooking time over 2 hours

Ingredients

800 g (1 3/4 1b) chuck steak, diced into 4 cm (1 1/2 in) cubes
25m1 (1 fl oz) red wine vinegar
600 ml (1 pint) full-bodied red wine (Rhône or Rioja)
150 ml (5 fl oz) water
2 tablespoons groundnut or other non-scented oil
100 g (4 oz) white button mushrooms, washed and patted dry
20 pickling onions or shallots, peeled
1 dessertspoon plain flour
1 bouquet garni
5 black peppercorns, crushed, or 3 pinches freshly ground black pepper
300 g (11 oz) Roma or beef tomatoes, skinned, quartered and seeded
4 garlic cloves, peeled and halved
salt

Method

Preheat the oven to 2750F (1400C) Gas 1.

Cooking the dish
In a saucepan, boil the vinegar to reduce it completely, then add the red wine. Reduce to 250 ml (8 fl oz), add the water and reserve.

Separately, heat the oil in the casserole and colour the diced beef over a strong heat for 8-10 minutes. Add the button mushrooms, onions or shallots and cook for a further 2-3 minutes. Sprinkle over the flour, stir and cook for a further minute. Add the reduced wine, the bouquet garni, crushed peppercorns (or pepper), tomatoes and garlic.

Cover and cook in the preheated oven for 2 1/2 hours.

Serving the dish
Remove the dish from the oven, taste, correct the seasoning with salt and pepper, and serve to your guests.

VARIATIONS
Wild rice or potato purée are extremely good accompaniments for this dish.

You could also add 15 caraway or coriander seeds for a different flavour.

WINE
A full-bodied Claret, a Rhône red or a Californian Cabernet Sauvignon would be the solution here. You can also find in supermarkets some very good Romanian Cabernet Sauvignon, often very reasonably priced.

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://members.aol.com/kenanderson242/images/trips6.jpg

Ferg (Ferg), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

A Stefan Dennis day, in the name of equality, will now be considered by those MPs present today. Motion...

Denied.

Sorry.

Calz (Calz), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Come to think of it, you think Stefan Dennis actually shagged one of these twins that he acted opposite in Neighbours? Whatever happened to the fit twin (One wasn't quite as fit, if you watched the show back then you'll know what I'm on about).

Calz (Calz), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Calf's Liver and Bacon

by Mrs Beeton


Serves 4 - 6
Preparation time less than 30 mins
Cooking time less than 10 mins

Ingredients

900g/2lb liver
900g/2lb bacon
pepper and salt to taste
a small piece of butter
flour
2 tbsp lemon-juice
150ml/¼ pint water

Method

1. Cut the liver in thin slices, and cut as many slices of bacon as there are of liver; fry the bacon first, and put that on a hot dish before the fire.
2. Fry the liver in the fat which comes from the bacon, after seasoning it with pepper and salt and dredging it with a little flour. Turn the liver occasionally to prevent its burning, and when done lay it round the dish with a piece of bacon between each. Pour away the bacon fat, put in a small piece of butter, dredge in a little flour, add the lemon-juice and water, give one boil, and pour it in the middle of the dish.

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't understand what George Clinton has to do with getting the day off.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Faggots with Onion Gravy
by Antony Worrall Thompson

Makes 4-6
Preparation time 1-2 hours
Cooking time 30 mins to 1 hour

Ingredients

25g/1oz unsalted butter
1 medium onion, peeled and finely chopped
175g/6oz minced pigs' liver
2 lamb or pigs' heart, trimmed and cut into chunks
450g/1lb belly of pork, trimmed and rind removed
½ tsp mace
4tbsp freshly chopped chives
1 tsp freshly chopped sage
1 egg, beaten
salt and freshly ground pepper
115g/4oz fresh white bread crumbs
25g/1oz beef dripping or 3 tbsp olive oil

For the gravy
4 red onions, peeled and each onion cut into 8 wedges
4 sprigs of fresh thyme
1 tbsp olive oil
900ml/1½pt fresh beef stock
290ml/½ pint red wine
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method

1. Melt the butter in a small saucepan and add the onions. Cook until soft and transparent. Cool slightly
2. Place the belly pork onto a chopping board and cut into portions.
3. Place the minced pigs' liver into a large glass bowl and place under the blade of a mincer. Using a fine blade of a mincer, mince the pork belly and lambs heart directly into the bowl with the pig s liver. If you do not have a mincer at home ask your butcher to mince all your meat for you.
4. Add the cooled chopped onions, mace, chives, sage, beaten egg and salt and pepper. Stir in the breadcrumbs.
5. Using your hands shape the mixture into 12 patties. Place on a plate and chill for about 1 hour.
6. Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6. 7. For the gravy: place the onion wedges into a large roasting pan or ovenproof dish. Add the thyme and drizzle over the olive oil. Place in the oven and roast uncovered for 40 minutes until the onions are caramelised.
8. Meanwhile heat the dripping or olive oil in a large frying pan. Fry the faggots until golden brown on both sides.
9. Place the stock and wine in a small saucepan, bring to the boil and reduce by a third.
10. Remove the roasted onions from the oven and lay the faggots on top. Pour over the gravy liqueur. Reduce the oven temperature to 180C/350F/Gas 4 and cook the faggots for 40 minutes.
11. Place two to three faggots onto a plate. Top with a spoonful of the onions and pour over the gravy. Serve the faggots with mashed potatoes and green vegetables.

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Blount, where the fuck did you find that one?

Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

same place I got this:

http://theimaginaryworld.com/tic155.jpg

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread rocks.

Calz (Calz), Friday, 30 May 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)


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