UK Viewers - who saw Lauren Laverne on Never mind the Buzzcocks tonight? Pwoooooar! Chris Martin you're shagging the wrong blonde!

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Enter 'Buzzcock' reference here!

Schwing! She's a babe etc

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 2 June 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

why havent you died yet?

― doom-e (Jam), Monday, 2 June 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

'Buzzcock'... geddit?

― Calz (Calz), Monday, 2 June 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I really think it would be funny if you ended up in a wheelchair. Then maybe people would take you seriously.

"Oh, the accident did something funny with his brain, you know ..."
"Roight, like that book, the man who ate his hat"

― doom-e (Jam), Monday, 2 June 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I really think it would be funny if you ended up in a wheelchair. Then maybe people would take you seriously.

that made me laugh out loud unlike anything calzycalzumalcazar has come up with...but who is the real sick man eh?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 2 June 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

i am, obviously.

― doom-e (Jam), Monday, 2 June 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Lauren was the least interesting member of Kenickie. and I'm including Johnny X

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.cm4.pl/wywiady/moukoko.jpg

Hi, I'm Tonton Moukoko, and I think Callum is a big poopyhead.

― Tonton Moukoko (Dom Passantino), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

He actually EXISTS? Is he still 14?

― Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Tonton Zola Moukoko (Tonton Moukoko) -- Select Profile --Adam IsikAhmet OzdemirokAlexander OstlundAnders LinderothAnte CovicAntti PohjaCharlie EjerholmChrister FursthChristian TraoreDedeElvisErik PilfalkFredrik StoorFredrik WinsnesJohan AnderssonJon RytterbroJonas StarkKarl Oskar FjortoftKennedy BakirciogluMax von SchlebruggeMikael AnderssonMikael HellstromMikkel JensenPablo Pinones-ArcePatrik GerrbrandPeter HolmPeter MarkstedtSuleyman SleymanTony LofholmTrym Bergman
Hammarby (Swe)

Personal
Position: LW Nationality: Sweden
Date of Birth: 22/12/1983 Place of Birth: -
Height: - Weight: -
International honours: -

Contract
Date Signed: 16/08/2002 Contract Expiry: ?

Player Transfers
Date From Club To Club Fee
16/08/2002 Derby County (Eng) Hammarby (Swe) Free

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

isnt a Tonton what the Rebels rode around on in Empire Strikes Back?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 2 June 2003 23:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Naw. Taunton. (Which is a town in Wales, right?)
Weird bit of trivia though:
Tonton is Haitian slang for the thugs that Papa Doc/Baby Doc Duvalier used to keep the Haitians in line before the Duvaliers were overthrown. (The name is short for Tonton Macoute, a race of pseudo-demonic zombie barbarians from Voodoo mythology.)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

You all suck.

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 06:04 (twenty-two years ago)

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 06:20 (twenty-two years ago)

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 06:25 (twenty-two years ago)

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 06:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you Jimmy Cliff? Then you don't get a point. Calz' team loses.

― kate, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 07:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Taunton's in Devon. My brother knows a joke about it / Star Wars.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Lauren Laverne is a cutie tho. part of the appeal is really her Sunderlandy accent tho and her Bob Mortimer-esque mannerisms in conversation - its not actually sexy but it is something.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck i just answered a Calum thread seriously, time to put on the sackcloth methinks...

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

calum, you've gone too far know this is someone i know...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum, why don't you just tell yr mates this stuff?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry was meant to read: calum, you've gone too far now, this is someone i know... bad typing due to being a bit annoyed...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

you know Lauren Laverne?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The collective goony sigh of admiration from the boys of ILM if this prooves to be true will be well worth it for the counteracting effect against rampant Calzification. :-)

― kate, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, not amazingly well, but she's a pretty nice person ... guess i found calum threads occasionally funny when they were about emma bunton and phil collins etc but when it's someone you're acquainted with, then you kinda notice they're a bit sleazy

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

It took him talking about someone you KNOW to get this point across?

Did it not occur to you that *all* of these women he discusses like pieces of meat are friends, sisters, daughters, *something* to someone?

::bashes head against wall::

― kate, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

when it's phil collins it's funny - and i while i understand he's only doing it to wind people up, i agree completely with the head-bashing! i've never really argued with you on the point anyway though, kate... just never really taken it seriously and am not particularly now, but maybe it'll make him realise that the world's pretty small and he'll prob end up making an arse out of himself...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

let's get back to pictures of fish now!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair enough.

http://www.rit.edu/~cpi9238/phish.gif

― kate, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.piapraiseapparel.com/catalog/img119.gif

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.hawaii.gov/dbedt/ert/activitybook/pg06-fish.gif

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/singing-fish-singing.jpg

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.wordfiles.info/image-word-unit3/fish-sick-thumb.gif

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.whitecube.com/images/artists/dah/dah_lrg_009.jpg

― kate, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

― ss, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

check yr email kate

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Pictures of fish are cool - and yes Laverne is one sexy mother. All in all - the perfect thread! We get to discuss how lovely the ex-pop-star nothern lass is, and we get to pictures of fish! How perfect is this!

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

http://archive.greenpeace.org/earthsummit/images/fishy.gif

― DG (D_To_The_G), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

How perfect is this!

its actually quite a worrying combo

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Not if you're gay. Fish! FIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!

― kate, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

http://prempeh.org/images/fish.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I really hate to be mean and bring up Lauren Laverne's eyes...

― ss, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

In other news I today posted the final mix of the Shirokuma 10" off to "the suits" at the label. Here's the exclusive :-

The first 10" will be lead by "Moonlight in the Afternoon", a glorious rip-snorter reminiscent of "Echo Beach" amongst others.

They will be backed by my very own remixes / reworkings of two tracks off the album, "Digital Dragonfly Theme" and "Do the Spooky Ghost". Both are the kind of laid back, vaguely uplifting tracks which are kind of my speciality.

Now work on the album continues, I'm about 7 tracks into it, which are all sounding lovely. Think Prefuse 73 meets Momus in an early 90's indie disco.

There's a small piece on the labels webpage about Mark which compares him to Badly Drawn Boy. Ewwww. Do they not understand. They also keep saying the word "polish" a lot when discussing his tracks. Are they secret VH-1 agents? Only time will tell.

I must leave you now, there is rum to drink and basslines to fatten. Viva la Beats!

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

BTW - Because of my dealings with this label I am now only one step of separation from both of the people in the title of this thread. Wierd.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

sounds awright lynskey

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 7 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

kate, if you want to respond offthread feel free to do so via c*a*l*u*m*r*w*@*h*o*t*m*a*i*l.c*o***m, fi**re*li***gh*tsh*oc*ks@yah***oo.com, or here or here. this invitation is open to the everyone else as well obv. [addresses spamproofed by request -- mod]

― aunt flo, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.cinefantastico.com/walkzoct.jpg

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dolly Parton's Catfish & Fixin's

Vegetable oil
4 U.S. Farm-Raised Catfish fillets
1 pint buttermilk
1 large box cornbread mix
1 medium onion, chopped
1-2 eggs
Potatoes

1. Heat vegetable oil in skillet.
2. Season the fish to taste. Dredge the fish pieces in buttermilk, then cornbread mix. Deep fry fish in vegetable oil until golden brown on the bottom, turn and continue frying until the other side is golden brown. Remove from the skillet and place in warm oven.
3. Make a batter out of the remaining buttermilk and cornbread mix. Add onion and eggs. Mold the hush puppies and deep fry in vegetable oil. Then put them in the warm oven with fish.
4. Peel and cut potatoes into french fries. Deep fry in vegetable oil. Remove and salt & pepper to taste.
5. Serve all of the above with cole slaw. Serves 4.

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.gomudcats.com/images/souvenirs/bib.jpg

― catfish cal(v), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

― ss, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

What in the name of beautiful flying fuck is that photo, SS? It is a joy and wonder to behold.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

haha!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

― ss, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Moderators if I wanted my email on these boards I would have advertised them. Please delete.

I hope that cunt hiding behind that moniker actually tells me who he is, the sad bastard. Obviously nothing better to do than Google me, get a life pal.

And please do register at Mobius, it's a fine forum.

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

― ss, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum if you're going to subject us to your vitriolic crap (what you said to Kate is simply horrifying) then the the minimal reciprocal obligation is that we can email you offboard about it.

http://www.oceanlab.abdn.ac.uk/archi/images/archclub.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Then delete my post to Kate if you find it so objectionable. I find her telling me I treat women as meat and that I'm a misogynist highly offensive and I say this on the same week that my next door neighbour's daughter has had the back of her head split open by a metal pole from her abusive partner. I find this revolting, and this is misogyny - not some guy passing time at work by posting about Lauren Laverne.

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

god that's gross sterling!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

no takebacks calz! and besides you just end up whining (per usual) whenever a post of your's gets deleted. take your medicine.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

http://cine8.free.fr/images/CALIMERO.JPG

http://www.platuglen.dk/div-tegn/calimero5.gif

http://www.platuglen.dk/div-tegn/calimero4.gif

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I will personally ask the other moderators to respect this. I don't think you understand that this is like an invite to spammers. Your failure to respect this is shocking, but if I need contact ILM's webhost then so be it.

― Calz (Calz), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

he doesn't like Get Carter, he's a wrong 'un

― DG (D_To_The_G), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

― ss, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the bird.

― jm (jtm), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

If anyone wants cheering up with some lovely plinky music, then twink.net is the place to go. Get the track "I Can Hear The Frog" first, it's a winner.

On a completely different note, can I again say well done Burscough for winning the FA Trophy. Seriously, it's a huge achievement for such a small village club. Congrats Sean Teale and all the backroom staff, as well as those brave boys who took the field at Villa Park.

On another completely different note, I've really got the taste for re-mixing now, so if anyone fancies throwing me a track or two to get my teeth into feel free. You know where to call.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

http://edwina.currie.co.uk/Images/chasing_full.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

The "sexism" debate on this thread is like something from nme.com.

BUT THEN:
Sexism? I'll tell you what.

Lauren is (was?) one of the greatest human beings I've met. Has since allowed her talent to congeal while she plays the stooge to J. Vaughan, the thinking man's banal twat. Presents shitty music shows, fawning over people far less talented, interesting and intelligent than herself. Turns up on loathsome progs like Buzzcocks, I Luv A Year From Before I Was Born, kitschy Buffy documentary on Sky, etc., playing the funny northern-accent babe. A sort of Zoe Ball for indie students. Behind her: the brittle and heartbreaking songs of Kenickie, one of the smartest and most moving pop groups of the 90s. From THAT (working for good, for the imagination, for brains and sex) to THIS (joining the well-paid pipes pumping yet more gas and effluent and stale, used air into the world). It's a fucking scandal.

If a bloke followed this career curve, you people would be appalled. I find it faintly patronising that, being a pretty girl, Lauren's bizarre and hugely deflating career decisions don't seem to register with anyone...it's just "she's...so...cool" and any questions are fogged by a misty sigh. It's almost as if people are making allowances for her depressing normalisation, because, ooh, those young girls...they have to follow the bright lights...well, bollocks. This woman had the talent to do whatever she wanted, and she chose to sit next to Phill Jupitus. Having enormous blue eyes doesn't excuse that.

― Taylor Parkes, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

That twink song and the video for Fatboy Slim's Wepon of Choice go amazingly well together.

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

It's nice stuff, isn't it. Taylor, that's an interesting point.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

He has redeemed this stupid thread!

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

word

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Taylor i was also disappointed when Laverne started doing the dumbed-down panellist/sidekick/presenter jobs - i agree she could do better and its a shame, still she's not bad on XFM (except they force her to play the same crappy playlist all other daytime presenters must conform to)

calum crying about his e-mail being given out is funny. most people here use real e-mail addresses and attract only negligible amounts of spam as result. considering you have a hotmail account its unlikely the spam would signifcantly increase as a result of your address being given on this thread.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

also, how come bekcy lucsa got banned when other arguably just as deserving cases have not?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

she was banned?

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty sure b3cky luc4s wasn't banned

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

she just knew how to take a hint

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

ha!

speaking of, ahem, hints, that worked, didn't it.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry i'm confused (too much gravy - but something happened regarding becky, what was it exactly?

if only Graham was still around eh james? ;)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmmm... interesting point, I suppose, but who would be the male equivalent? Closest guess is Maconie, Quantick et al. - in my estimation, anyway. However, they invented the whole thing, and I do think that it started innocently enough, particularly the Top Ten series on C4, which were fantastic and actually quite educational, if only cos most of the time the talking heads they got on were people who had something of relevance to say about the chosen subject. Then it sort of ballooned... at the same time, though, you don't actually see Quantick and Maconie etc. outside of that sphere of programmes on the telly. Laverne, however, is on the panel shows, the nostalgia shows, Johnny fucking Vaughn... would they be reviled? I know that I could never really hate Laverne for her over-exposure to shite, because I loved Kenickie too bloody much when I first started getting into music, and they do, I think, remain the only band that I've ever got seriously upset about when they split. Plus, they always seemed for me to have a bit of the underdog about them, in that when they played out their live sets on radio they sounded millions of times better than the recorded output - I'm still deeply gutted I taped over their set from T In The Park from... 95? 96? Whenever - they were witty and clever, their songs were fantastic, At The Club was amazing, Acetone - ah man; Punka - ah man; In Your Car - ah man...

It's an interesting idea. But I just could never hate Laverne, particularly considering the extent to which she wipes the floor with all of XFM's other daytime people...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

check yr inbox steve.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

no. i am afraid.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

wuss. i just answered yr question upthread.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Sigh.

Sometimes listening to a broken record is kinda cool is a neat, droney, repetative sort of way. And sometimes it's just boring.

How about some more pictures of fish?

http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/cnidaria/images/fish.jpg

― kate, Wednesday, 4 June 2003 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum, there's ways of saying things, but if you haven't learned this by now, then you probably won't. Why are you so bothered about having your email on the board? I always use mine and I've never had anything nasty in my mail as a result, just a few nice notes from people. Perhaps it wouldn't be such an issue if you were more pleasant to people and didn't wind them up so much? On that note, what you said to Kate was really horrid, too. Anyway, fuck it, I've got better things to do... bye

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 4 June 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

apparently i do not have better things to do

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 4 June 2003 09:11 (twenty-two years ago)

You all suck.

-- Calz (ca...), June 3rd, 2003.

OMFGLOL!!!11!! BEST POST EVAH!!!1!1!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 6 June 2003 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

nine years pass...

He was a treasure, was he not?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 19 June 2012 15:20 (twelve years ago)

No. Impossible to imagine anyone like this guy lasting more than two days on ILX now.

― Meet the G that Skrilled me... (snoball), Tuesday, 19 June 2012 15:24 (twelve years ago)

That's true.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 19 June 2012 15:26 (twelve years ago)

I don't know, there's some pretty dedicated trolls that have managed to find a home here.

― I found him in a Bon Ton ad (Nicole), Tuesday, 19 June 2012 15:33 (twelve years ago)

He would probably have been beaten down to innocuous King Boy Pato level by now.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 19 June 2012 15:40 (twelve years ago)

Lauren Laverne is quite good looking, to be fair.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Tuesday, 19 June 2012 15:56 (twelve years ago)

Ah, Callum, brings back the memories.

I was always more in the Marie camp myself.

― Chewshabadoo, Tuesday, 19 June 2012 16:11 (twelve years ago)

six years pass...

She takes over "Desert Island Discs" !

(p.s. I know, but this was the only thread with actual content!)

― Mark G, Friday, 31 August 2018 12:58 (six years ago)

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