Music as Catharsis for Anger: POX

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Without going too deeply into it needlessly, I'm in the midst of a highly traumatic family dispute involving my father, the end results of which are turning out to be complete estrangement. As a result, I've been fluctuating wildly between anger, disgust and a near-crippling depression -- the type of depression that prevents me from doing anything productive and feeling good about myself and enjoying the things that usually bring me joy. Outside of this stupid miasma, I have no reason to complain -- I'm very happily married, we've moved into a great new home, I have a decent job and the prospects of other writing assignments within reach, I'm blessed enough to have a great number of friends.....life is pretty good. But, it's hard to see any of that when my brain is wracked with guilt, hostility and depression.

As music plays a pretty integral role in my everyday thoughts (I clearly take it too seriously, as I'm afraid my frequent posts here heartily amplify), part of my self-therapy has to be to excorcise the tensions I'm feeling via the release of MUSIC as CATHARSIS. Among music I've been finding particularly cleansing (for lack of a better term), I keep coming back to "Exorcism" by Killing Joke (seemingly tailor made for this situation) and "I Will Refuse" by Pailhead (Ian MacKaye with Ministry, basically).

Do you do this too? If so, what music enables you to release your anger and resentment in a cathartic and -- to my mind -- healthy way (other than bottling it or punching a wall, etc.)

thanks for indulging me.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I can sympathize, Alex -- I've had some extremely bad moments myself over time (nothing to do with my father or family, plenty to do with me). I hope things work out for you as best as they possibly can.

I rarely turn to music as specific release in such a situation, though -- I generally find other outlets via conversation or contemplation. I would say that generally I do turn to certain songs or groups due to their familiarity, a kind of comfort food if you will. Quite often, they are old standbys -- Echo, Slowdive, the Cure, New Order, etc.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Music doesn't relieve my depression, but it certainly packs a palpable punch in the anger department. I generally find that when I'm depressed, there ain't a song in the world -- not even "Eighties" by Killing Joke -- that can shake me out of it. But, if I'm furious....which is often, lately.....a bracing jolt of the Misfits, Skinny Puppy, Cop Shoot Cop, the Birthday Party and a few others have provided a bit of virtual primal scream therapy that I've found pretty liberating.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

In terms of turning to music when depressed, I think I'm wary of associating that music with that situation too much (which I have a tendency to do), so if I'm at my lowest point, the last thing I'm going to want to do is poison the music that would otherwise make me happy with the indelible smear of events which are causing me pain.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex, Motorhead and AC/DC have helped me, due to their straight-up lust for life.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Been there. Or somewhere like it. I hope you get through it.

I'm kind of the opposite. I listened to:

"How to Disappear Completely" by Radiohead, partly for the "I'm not here / This isn't happening" line.

Dylan's Time Out of Mind. (Yeah, I know).

Springsteen's Nebraska. (I'm not kidding).

Some Lucinda, some Chan Marshall, some Robert Smith, some Ian Curtis (okay, that was pushing it), some Kurt Cobain (wtf?).

I think, for me, the sad contemplative stuff -- instead of sending me spiralling further down -- somehow validates those feelings of utter bleakness (and morose thoughts) and makes me feel less alone with them.

― David A. (Davant), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

When I was in high school I would listen to this one tune on Strapping Young Lad's live album for these situations (it had a lot of "fuck you's" in it) or Paradise Lost Draconian Times.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

these days, for my current situations, probably Complete Minor Threat, specifically "Look Back And Laugh" and "Salad Days."

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"Self Healer" by Idlewild

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The sadder, more contemplative stuff actually doesn't help me much, as I have a tendency -- when depressed -- to blame myself for whatever the problem might be (blame Catholic guilt....when it doubt, feel guilty!). The loud/angry stuff at least allows me the emotional room to assert the fact that I am ANGRY about something thatWAS NOT MY FAULT, BUT IS NOW SOMETHING I AM UNFAIRLY FORCED TO CONTEND WITH!

"Fucking Hostile" by Pantera is another top drawer selection on this particular mix tape.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

...when in doubt...., I should say.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I vent to "Boiler" by Limp Bizkit a lot. I know it's a silly song in many ways (it does include the line "I guess I crawled up your BUTT somehow!") and ends with screams of "WHYYYYY???!?!?!?!" but man, it get's the job done.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, and "My Way" by Limp Bizkit works too. Durst's ouevre is FILLED with songs about the need for control. I'm aware this probably doesn't help you much, Alex, but most of my angsty stuff comes from artists you despise.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

a thirty-year-old furiosity, in case you've forgotten

-- "Rat Bat Blue", D'Purple

(hadn't heard it for, huh, "decades"; then heard it once again last summer: still worked)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Hot Snakes, "If Credit's What Matters, I'll Take Credit"

― Famous Athlete, Thursday, 12 June 2003 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Having once been in a similar situtation, go for Husker Du's Zen Arcade. David's suggestion of Nebraska is probably a good choice, despite its tempo its still a pretty damm evil album.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 12 June 2003 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

For the 'mood,' favorites of the moment: Rapoon, Spooky/Scanner, Raison d'Etre, Pineal Ventata, Nocturnal Emissions, Esplendor Geometrico.

I usually wind out with some Dead Voices On Air, In The Nursery, Swans, or Foetus.

Wow, I just totally exposed my roots to ILM, didn't I? Oops.

― Xii (Xii), Thursday, 12 June 2003 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"You Can't Bring Me Down" - ST
"Suicides an Alternative" - ST
Korn's first cd, specifically "Daddy" "Clown" and "Faget"

But for straight up anger release, I like the "Broken" cd by NIN.

Hope everything works out.

― Scott Stanley, Thursday, 12 June 2003 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

You Can't Bring Me Down" - ST.........But for straight up anger release, I like the "Broken" cd by NIN.

Two completely excellent choices there, Scott....and thanks.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 12 June 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Some favorites:
Life Stinks - Pere Ubu
Black Coffee - Black Flag
Bitter End - Yo La Tengo
Communication Breakdown
Paranoid

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 12 June 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

the screaming section of Aphex Twin's "Come To Daddy" works surprisingly well

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 12 June 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

a lot of will oldham stuff, especially "arise therefore", works for me when its really tough.
neil young's "tonight's the night"
big black - anything by big black really (try "kerosene")
sonic youth - a fair few songs, but "tom violence", "pacific coast highway" in particular
killing joke - loads and loads of stuff by them
metallica - master of puppets
joy division - closer
bob dylan - "blood on the tracks" (particularly "idiot wind")
i concur with the suggestion of husker du - zen arcade ("something i learned today" says it all and thats just the first track).
dirty three - good for lots of sad moods really, but some songs particularly good for catharsis (eg "the last night", "sue's last ride" and "sirena", "no stranger than that", "rude (and then some slight return)", "some summers they drop like flies" all come to mind for me)
neutral milk hotel have some good cathartic stuff too, like "oh comely"
low - long division and secret name and trust, those three have all helped me burn off some bitterness.

jeez i sure got a lot of music for dealin with the blues.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 12 June 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

oh when i say "arise therefore" and "tonights the night", i mean the entire albums, rather than just the individual songs.

oh "down by the river" by neil young, thats an individual song, but that guitar work just brings it all out. "cowgirl in the sand" too.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 12 June 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://killing-joke.com/laff_jester.gif

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 14 June 2003 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

at one point i'd listen to Marianne F's live version of "Why'd ya do it" first thing evry morning with my coffee. It was the only way for me to deal with the upcoming day.

― H (Heruy), Saturday, 14 June 2003 06:56 (twenty-two years ago)

These are some songs what help get my demons out and help me stay sane, for without the release they give me I would certainly not be the mellow individual I am known to be:

1. Fishbone "Pressure" - this track IMHO is a straight-up skin-rubbed-raw primal-scream; this one is best for dealing with frustration and stress and it's always (just the right kind of) too much for me to take, which sometimes is exactly what I'm looking for

2. The Monks "Complication" - I always get such a visceral reaction from this song which couldn't possibly be any simpler and couldn't rock any harder, and this one (k-like "Pressure" above) is good for frustration-related anger-rushes

3. Led Zeppelin's "Dazed and Confused" - you know this song, I imagine you know what it's capable of, maybe it's worth a revisit

4. Rage Against the Machine "Freedom" - politics shmolitics, if'n it's fired-up raw-as-fuck RELEASE you're looking for, this fucker just might be the thing for you..."anger is a gift" infuckingdeed

I'm gonna stop now. *expecting to get shit for the RATM suggestion*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Saturday, 14 June 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone who denies the purple-faced passion of that first RATM album is simply huffing a Gigantor-sized bong of WRONG, Nickalicious.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 14 June 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I don't deny it. I just think it sucks.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 14 June 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but then again you like the Smashing Pumpkins.

heh. Low blow, sorry.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 14 June 2003 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

http://graphics.ink19.com/issues/february2000/low.jpeg

You hurt them in their heart. See how sad they are!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 15 June 2003 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Whenever I feel depressed or like the world's pressures are coming down on me, one of the musical artists that always comes through for me is Nirvana. Rather surprisingly enough. Any Nirvana will do -- from Bleach to From the Muddy Banks..., their music just seems to make me feel happier when I'm feeling the choking effects of outside pressures.

I guess that's just repeating David A.'s answer (another DA person!), but eh, what's it going to kill anyone to get another similar answer, anyway?

The Cure is another good answer (heh). Especially Japanese Whispers, which has to be their happiest album, and their second-happiest, Wish. And Bloodflowers (natch!). And Seventeen Seconds, Faith... bloody hell, pretty much every single one of their albums.

Here's hoping for better days for you (and those of you who are also going through rough periods).

― Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 15 June 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Drive Like Jehu, "Here Come The Rome Plows"
Heroin, "With No Name"
Black Flag, "Nervous Breakdown"
Sightings, "I Feel Like A Porsche"
Stooges, "Down On The Street"

Jesus Lizard, Goat as a whole.

― Ian Johnson, Sunday, 15 June 2003 05:59 (twenty-two years ago)

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