TS: Jewel - 0304 vs Liz Phair

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http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008OWZE.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
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http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00009OOH9.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

aging midlife crisis wasn't-too-good-to-begin-with pussy fight!

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Gwen Stefani.

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Wind machine operators.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i like the phallic positioning of the guitar with the liz phair one.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

that liz phair album cover is hottttttttt!!

nu-jewel however is totally totally unbelievably scary

― geeta, Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah jewel looks pretty silly. i think her stylist must have had a bet on with someone bout how stupid he could make her look on the cover of her new album. all she needs is dreadlocks and its complete...

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Liz looks really awkward and uncomfortable in that photo.

Still, anything is better than Jewel's Flashdance-lite look.

I'm not all that confused with why Liz chose the Big Sellout(TM) route with the new record; I was hoping it would be good but what I've heard was just bland. But why on earth would Jewel forsake the camper-poet-songstress thing for the Flirts thing?

― Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Because it's better?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

No it isn't. Nobody wanted to see Jewel in a wet shirt. That video of hers needs to die. I like the Liz Phair single.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Nobody wanted to see Jewel in a wet shirt.

This is clearly the most sarcastic statement uttered on this board EVER.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

msnbc picks up this meme.

http://www.msnbc.com/news/930580.asp

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the Jewel photo's attempt at Veronica Lake-meets-"Get a load of THESE!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Did Jewel have her teeth fixed? If not, you haveta doubt her sticktoitiveness in this latest sellout attempt...

― Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Man - I don't get how people find Liz Phair sexy. She seems like she tries too hard.

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Jewel's face also looks to have been replaced by that of the terminally horror-stricken woman in the second season of FOX's 24.

― gazuga (gazuga), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but for a sport-fuck i say both are money. you gotta say it'd be a pretty innarestin name to drop when listing who you've done

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Phair's cover wins the battle, Jewel in general wins the war.

What music?

― dleone (dleone), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still listening to the Liz Phair record for the first time, but it seems to me that Jewel will win this fight because she is actually up to what she's attempting. Jewel can be a good pop star, and still have some self in reserve to be a pop star with personality. Phair just sounds out of her depth. The image looks desparate, and the album gains nothing from having Liz Phair associated with it. (And suffers from her inability to resist the temptation to do one crass sex song.)

Put another way: if you had the instrumental tracks for both these albums done and were auditioning singer/cover-models, Jewel could win hers. Liz would never win either.

― ara, Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

http://a799.g.akamai.net/3/799/388/61b6ec54847fcd/www.msnbc.com/news/1939816.jpg

uhm... unh uh.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

heh:

"...In selling Phair as a brand new artist to those SUV drivers whose waning devotion to the lacquered likes of Celine, Shania and Mariah has left them hankering for something more “real,” perhaps Capitol Records is just trying too hard to tap into the unspoken neuroses of soccer moms across America..."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I'm now listening to the Jewel album for the ninth or tenth time or something. I like it, and I can understand why some other people might, too. I know who Liz hopes will buy hers, but I don't know who she thinks will enjoy it.

― ara, Wednesday, 25 June 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

http://a799.g.akamai.net/3/799/388/61b6ec54847fcd/www.msnbc.com/news/1939816.jpg

When did Kim Deal go blonde?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

She looks like Kathy Griffin

― Charles McCain (Charles McCain), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

She looks like she's praying for some bukakke action.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

damn, whos got a copy of photoshop...

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i think jewel grosses me out. she looks like her crotch stinks alot.

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, yes there is that factor

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

damn, whos got a copy of photoshop...

I would show you what I did, but it's filthy, and makes me feel a little guilty, and would require a "not safe for work" warning in the thread title.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, seriously, if you've done it for real, email it and i'll have my laughs privately.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

lol, kenan's picture = class

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not the word I'd have used, but thanks.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

But the dominant females who were groomed for rock stardom in the wake of grunge conveyed a new kind of cuddliness that was standoffishly chaste, from Juliana Hatfield and Lisa Loeb, to Dolores O’Riordan of the Cranberries and the girls fronting Veruca Salt. For their male admirers to cop out loud to any sort of attraction seemed to transgress an unspoken code.

Huh? Apparently, the writer was in a different planet than I was during the '90s (Hatfield and Loeb especially). It was a different kind of attraction than you'd find for the Britneys/Xtinas of the world (less Girls Gone Wild), but it was certainly in play.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I respect Gwen Stefani so much more after seeing this. My name is Kenny is OTM.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It was a different kind of attraction than you'd find for the Britneys/Xtinas

More of the Marian Librarian variety. The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah theres something about a girl in glasses, they just look more innocent, and thus ready for corruption. i guess the librarian clothes make me think schoolgirl.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

that jewel cover gets more hideous by the minute

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Graphic design is so much harder when you're color-blind.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Haggard, yo. This is one thread where nobody wins.

― Nick Mirov (nick), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You guys sound extraordinarily ugly and terrible, all of you. Ugh.

"But the dominant females who were groomed for rock stardom in the wake of grunge conveyed a new kind of cuddliness that was standoffishly chaste, from Juliana Hatfield and Lisa Loeb, to Dolores O’Riordan of the Cranberries and the girls fronting Veruca Salt."

Hahaha. This MSNBC article is a real piece of work. Look! All those alt-rock women of the early 90s were GROOMED for rock stardom! And since all women in music are still really stupid, maybe they don't even know what's going on now!

Check this: "Capitol Records is just trying too hard to tap into the unspoken neuroses of soccer moms across America"? So Liz is just a pawn now, I guess.. and hell, at least some guys are making a profit off the female malady du jour.

Well, I'm going to stop now b/c this is making me angry. I do appreciate that the MSNBC writer, Marc Weisblott, has qualified himself as a reluctant rock critic, & I hope nobody tries to force him to overcome his reluctance and keep at it.

― daria g (daria g), Friday, 27 June 2003 04:28 (twenty-two years ago)

worst thread ever

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 27 June 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks man

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 27 June 2003 06:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Jun/20036274234613187466494.jpg

i think i'm gunna get a lot of use of this one today.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 27 June 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Jewels crotch smells of Yeti.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 27 June 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

and her ass reeks of Wampa. Weird how that works out.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 27 June 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I could have sworn this was a Calum thread.

― J (Jay), Friday, 27 June 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

why do people compare me to calum? its not like i insult anyone personally on this board, i just like to make jokes about celebrities.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 27 June 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum doesn't insult anyone personally either, at least not to my knowledge.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

he will if you push him enough, but others would know more about that than i.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 27 June 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Receiving e-mails from certain MSNBC writers about ILM posts is creepy.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 27 June 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

dude! post 'em!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 27 June 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't get too excited about me writing back ... I lurk here, too. (Guess I'm delurking now.)

― marc weisblott (weisblogg), Friday, 27 June 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, that makes more sense

It was nothing wrong or evil - or even, uh, anything that bothered me. It was just the thought that somehow the people at MSNBC had gotten wind of this thread in less than a day.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

they can track the linkback and the image leeching, so if anybody really cared, it wouldn't be that hard to find us.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

this was actually an attempt at a vaguely serious thread you know, i know i started it off in unserious style, but i just thinks its odd that these ladies have both gone for the "mtv crowd" at the same time, and so late in their careers. and yeah i also wanted to have a laugh at the crap cover art and their pseudo-pretty, pseudo-ugliness. its just a bit sad it gets called dumb and inappropriate, if you find it offensive, then just avert your eyes dudes.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 27 June 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah and i'm away for a month, and my internet access might be limited, so someones gonna have fill in for me on the bad sex jokes front in case i dont get to a computer for a few days.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 27 June 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

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TS: Jewel - 0304 vs Liz Phair - Liz Phair