"Love and Death and an American Guitar" is hard to beat
Spoken:
I remember everything!
I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday
I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender
guitar
I don't remember if it was a telecaster or a stratocaster
But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome and a voice like a
horny angel
I don't remember if it was a telecaster or a stratocaster
But I do remember that it wasn't at all easy
It required the perfect combination of the right power chords
And the precise angle from which to strike
The guitar bled for about a week afterward
And the blood was ugh dark and rich, like wild berries
The blood of the guitar was Chuck Berry red
The guitar bled for about a week afterward, but it rung out
beautifully
And I was able to play notes that I had never even heard before
So I took my guitar, and I smashed it against the wall
I smashed it against the floor
I smashed it against the body of a varsity cheerleader
Smashed it against the hood of a car
Smashed it against a 1981 Harley Davidson
The Harley howled in pain, the guitar howled in heat
And I ran up the stairs to my parents' bedroom
Mummy and daddy were sleeping in the moonlight
Slowly I opened the door, creeping in the shadows
Right upto the foot of their bed
I raised the guitar high above my head
And just as I was about to bring the guitar crashing down
upon the centre of the bed, my father woke up, screaming "Stop!"
"Wait a minute! Stop it boy! What do ya think you're doin'?
That's no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!"
And I said: "God dammit daddy!
You know I love you, but you got a hell of a lot to learn about rock
an' roll!"
This would make thee ideal intro tape for a twee indie band IMO
xoxo
― Norman Fay, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
one year passes...
six years pass...
fourteen years pass...