Truly the worst music review of 2003...

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I think I have mentioned before that Mitch Albom is a terrible music writer (though with the search function disabled I couldn't locate exactly where/when I had brought it up). But this column takes the cake. I think that even the Eminem haters on ilm would agree Albom is beyond clueless...

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Some 45,000 came to that show, rivaling anything Bruce Springsteen or the Rolling Stones could draw. And they have instruments!
Here's another thing I heard:

"WHASSUP, DETROIT?"

This is just beautiful. You almost want to pat the guy on the head and send him out to play stickball. Oh well, Andy Rooney will be dead soon, his job as the replacement is a lock!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:13 (twenty-two years ago)

haha - he's Phil Hartman on NewsRadio!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

man that was top! good bad, good bad. i kinda liked it. It kind of had a beautiful stoopid candance to it.

is it a piss take?

its pretty funny if it is.

if its not and he's getting paid. i pity detroit.

― gallantseagull, Monday, 21 July 2003 04:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Is he a good sportswriter though?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

He's not and he's getting paid. In fact in some quarters he gets an eternal free ride for this book, which is how I first heard about him. Nothing to do with music, and if only he had followed that stance elsewhere.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Aaaaah this is that guy. I never read that book.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Reminds me of something from The Simpsons:

...It has a terrible curse.
That's bad.
But it comes with a free Frogurt.
That's good!
The Frogurt is also cursed.
That's bad.
But you get your choice of topping.
That's good!
The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
...
That's bad.

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"There was one song -- is it really a song if it's a rap? -- and it was done by one of the many co-rappers Eminem had with him, and in this song, I swear I am not making this up, the only two words I could understand were 'child support.'"

That must've been during my mom's ex-husband's guest performance

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! What a dink. I was on the radio with him last week, talking about Springsteen. The topic was something like "Springsteen--he doesn't sell any records, but people still go to his concerts! How can that be?"

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

obviously because the Bruce demo is mad into downloading

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

(is that radio performance archived anywhere, Keith?)

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I wanna see Bill Conlin write about DMX!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Lupica on 50 Cent!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Furman Bisher on Ludacris!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Dunno, Matos. I should try and track it down for my dad. I got to say cool cheesball stuff like "Bruce could sell out Giant Stadium in January in three feet of snow!"

Dumb as he is, Albom got one thing right--big hip hop shows do generally sound terrible.

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 21 July 2003 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Bob Ryan on Li'l Kim!

AND THEY HAVE INSTRUMENTS?!?!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 21 July 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, I've seen nearly every town in America's shitty alt-weekly on this tour, and lemme tell you, there are a lot of bad music writers out there.

(My personal favorite so far has been some Western Canadian writer who, in the preview he wrote for (Smog), seriously think that in the song "Cold Blooded Old Times" Bill's singing to a squirrel.)

― hstencil, Monday, 21 July 2003 07:43 (twenty-two years ago)

oh god - plz link plz!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

everyone knows that songs about a possum

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 21 July 2003 07:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I just read it, and if someone could clarify one thing for me I'd be most grateful:

The Onion is read in America by a fairly widespread audience, and understood to be a work of satire, yes?

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

hee hee -- why does his headshot look like an old one of Rick Dees?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

(Forget lyrics. The most inventive part of rap is the names.)

Forget Albom's columns. The most inventive parts of his writing are the names of his anthologies -- Live Albom, Live Albom II, etc (which are bad).

Admittedly I liked reading him when I was about ten (this should tell you something though). However, he would've provoked instant hate if he had written something unflattering about LL Cool J back then.

There is also something odd about a guy who screams about being trashy and blue collar and anti-establishment, but lives in a 22,000-square-foot mansion. You can only get so angry at your butler, you know?

I'm glad someone finally pointed this out! Finally a journalist is insightful enough to call a rapper out on this hypocrisy. This is why I had a hard time believing Kim Basinger as Rabbit's mother in 8 Mile. I just couldn't fall for it -- isn't she really wealthy?!?!

Perhaps Eminem will read the article, feel bad about wasting Albom's time, and offer an olive branch of some sort. Maybe Albom can play piano on his next albom.

― Andy K (Andy K), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe Ben Wallace will have a cameo on the next one

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I loved that piece. He usualy writes about sport, right? Mags should do more of that, ie. throwing "experts" in one field right into the middle of another field in which they have no expertise at all. Makes for illuminating reading.

Oh, and I'm already imagining Judge Reinhold playing Albom in the film of his life...

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Hank Azaria heaps much scorn your way

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

This is why I had a hard time believing Kim Basinger as Rabbit's mother in 8 Mile. I just couldn't fall for it -- isn't she really wealthy?!?!

That's why it's called "acting."

And that's why Bill's not singing to a squirrel.

*sigh*

― hstencil, Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

what a spaz - but his photo byline really does say it all

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

hstencil, did you really not catch Andy's sarcasm?!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 22:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess not.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 06:41 (twenty-two years ago)

that's alli can really add to this thread, not that i ever add much but =) =0 :) -:) AHAHAHAH ---------------=============0 def needs to be added

― Vic (Vic), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.