Enough with this BOOLSHIT, yo! We shall now discuss the Ol' Dirty Bastard's run for the 2004 U.S. Presidency

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Now, as most of you know, Big Baby Jesus a.k.a. Dirt McGirt a.k.a The Ol' Dirty Bastard announced his candidacy for the U.S. 2004 Presidential Election upon his release from jail a few months ago.

This shocked many folks in the know, since the ODB had previously declared that he would not seek public office, preferring instead to seek out "the ladeez who want stick they tongue up [his] ass." It seems that his ass received more than its fair share of attention while he was in the lock-up, allowing Big Baby Jesus to focus on other projects.

Not that his candidacy is without problems; some pundits have described the ODB's style of debate--calling his opponents "punk-ass bitch faggot muthafuckas"--to potentially cost him more votes than it gains. Plus, some beltway insiders were startled at the ODB's already-stated choice of a running mate in Nelson Rockefeller.

When asked if he actually wanted to nominate someone from Rocafella instead, he responded that he had "much luv for Jay-z, but not some'a them other punk bitchs", pointing instead to the late Rockefeller's ideas for economic reform, which Dirt McGirt claimed to also involved using campaign funds to purchase body armor, crack, and Cadillac Escalades.

What do you think? Have you seen anything at Bobby Digital's campaign stops that struck you as helping or hurting his electoral chances? Do you think he'll perform well when grilled on "Meet the Press" or during the primary season? Would the fact that his campaign headquarters is located at "his momma house" potentially hurt his viability?

After seeing the presidential candidate, half-naked & stoned out of his mind, run into the set of a live news broadcast in Los Angeles, shouting that Senators John Kerry & Joe Lieberman were "punk drippy cunts who don't know they shit on foreign policy and trade negotiations" before passing out atop the newscasters' desk, I must say that I look forward to this campaign.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Please please please please (x infinity) tell me this isn't some boolsheeyit!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

of course it isn't.

now, did you hear about the ODB addressing the U.N. Security Council last month, where he called for the representatives from North Korean, South Africa, and, oddly enough, Canada, to "step the fuck off 'fore yo' ass is bombed n' shit" before doing a line off the breasts of a recently-hired U.N. intern?

it certainly had the pundits talking on the sunday morning shows...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never regretted having the cable disconnected ever in my entire life!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

*ahem*

"...disconnected so much ever..."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, CSPAN is SO MUCH BETTER now that he's thrown his nappy hat into the race. He did a press conference the other day which included the words "fuck", "bitch", and "cum-drunk" no less than three dozen times, all the while having nude strippers get all jiggly behind him.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

No, seriously-- is this a joke? Can somebody provide a link?

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

KK - would it really make a difference? (re: joke or not?)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

of COURSE it isn't a joke. you folks think that a drug-addled, mentally-unstable rapper with a criminal record and jail time running for the Highest Elected Office in the Land is a JOKE?!

jeez. some people.

...

still waiting for Horace or Custos to weigh in on these serious matters.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, if I have to choose between King George II and some clueness Democrat snoozebot, I'd choose ODB any damned day of the week.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I guess it was naive of me to believe that an incoherent, chronic drug abuser couldn't be president.

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

so... anyone got that link yet?

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I guess it was naive of me to believe that an incoherent, chronic drug abuser couldn't be president.
If his dad and his brother help him fuck up the election...sure he can.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ah, there you are.

unfortunately, the ODB's dad is not around to help him, since his dad was betrayed & murdered by anothing pupil of ODB's sensei, before the pupil turned to evil. So the ODB was told, anyway.

And ODB's brother was last seen in the mountains, fighting grizzly bears. it's to the brother's credit that the he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair.

so, this time, the ODB must go it alone. It's up to him, and his bitchez, to overcome all these oddz and achieve greatness. With the New Hampshire & Iowa primaries but scant months away, he has a lot of work to do, and ain't no punk-ass ho-bag gun' git in his way.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

God Bless Saddam Hussein.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw, shit...thats right!
Why doesn't the righteous forces of the Wu Tang assist him in his holy quest to overthrow Babylon?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

(xpost)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Dirt McGirt=The answer to the question "What if Wesley Willis had a lot of money?"

― Mark (MarkR), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"...and enough drugs to slim his ass down..."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

ODB is slim?

― Mark (MarkR), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

he's not the walking tank that Wesley is.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll have to wait for the final version of Dirt's Moral Degeneracy Platform before I can commit to the party line.

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, OBD has gained a lot of weight since back in the day. I read an interview with RZA where he says he couldn't believe how much weight OBD had gained since he last saw him. I think this was before the jail sentence though.

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Thursday, 24 July 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

John Kerry: "...is obviously what's best for the people of America. I now yield the floor to my opponent."

Dirt McGirt: "Yeah, mufuggin thighmastah tightnin' 'roundya fuggin' neck bitch, WU-TANG REPRAZINT!"

*cut to commercial*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, at least his English is better than Dubya's....

― russ t, Thursday, 24 July 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

and still, no matter what happens, he will not give up the secrets of the Wu Tang.

take THAT, Senate/House Special Investigative Committee(s)!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam Donaldson: "...but isn't it true mister...uh...baby jesus...that
you did drugs in the past."
ODB: "Fuckin' A right, bitch. I was tokin a big phatty blunt in the green room. Thats why I ate all your deli tray, man. I gots me the munchies. Fact is, I still got some primo weed wif me, homes. You wanna light up afta th' sho'?"
Sam Donaldson: (sotto voce) "Meet me at my dressing room, dawg, I got a bong that'll blow yer fuckin' dome. I made it outta surplus Air Force jet fighter parts."
ODB: "Yeeeaaahhhhhhh, boooyyeeeee...thass what I'M talkin' bout!"

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 24 July 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

[fade in]
"Hello, I'm Ted Koppel, and welcome to Nightline.

Tonight, we'll be focusing on the phenomena that is the 2004 Dirt McGirt Presidential Campaign. Is it a just a lot of hype, or do they really have a message behind their slogan of 'ODB & the ABC -- Ass, Bitchez & Crack in the '04'?"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The grassroots campaign begins...

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 24 July 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

holy shit, that's fucking awesome.

you see, people? this is the sign that we & the ODB've been looking for! THIS proves that the man, despite his many, many faults, has support among the common people! The ODB's campaign managers/zoo-keepers should be alerted to this fact.

Somebody call them at his momma house.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 24 July 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the best thing I've ever clicked on!

And all the caucus singin' "JESUS I'M ROLLIN WITCHYOO"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

sub-onion at best.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 25 July 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

don't let trife near this thread

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 25 July 2003 03:51 (twenty-two years ago)

black people acting "black" in white situations are even funnier than white people acting "black"! they could make a movie about this called bullworth down the house!!!

it would costar dj shadow as his zen spritual mentor and tim robbins could run against him. the trailer would give away the big laugh line where dirt sez "show me the FUNKY, Y'ALL" real loud and teaches congress how to dance. it would be a big hit and people all over america would be like "show me the funky" and it would be even better than whaassssup!

another victory for the forces of cultural love and tolerance!!@!!!

― sterling trife (s_clover), Friday, 25 July 2003 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"...and black people run for public office like THIS..."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 25 July 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

and Thomas Jefferson Johnson will be his running mate:
http://www.impawards.com/1992/posters/distinguished_gentleman.jpg

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 25 July 2003 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

try again. they don't like offsite linking, it seems.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 25 July 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm looking at the picture in the thread right now. Hit Refresh, maybe it'll pop up.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 25 July 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

"Come to impawards.com for one of the web's largest galleries of movie posters" is what it says on mine.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 25 July 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay...lets try this again...

and Thomas Jefferson Johnson will be his running mate:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/TheDistinguishedGentleman-1040960/dvd.php?select=5

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 25 July 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, screw it. Imagine that you can see the poster for the Eddie Murphy flock "The Distinguished Gentleman"

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 25 July 2003 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

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