The Canon Stops Here: Bottom 103 Songs You Never Want to Hear on the Radio Ever Again

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After spending time in a dentists office with crummy "classic soft rock" oozing like slime from the waiting rooms overhead speaker, I had to declare the following songs invalid. They must be hunted down and destroyed. Ever copy burned and smashed. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE WILDFIRE!

-103: "It's All Rock and Roll to Me" - Billy Joel
-102: "Crocodile Rock" - Elton John
-101: "Wildfire" - Whoever it was that sang 'Wildfire'
-099: ................LET ILM DECIDE!

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:09 (twenty-three years ago)

098. "Bad to the Bone"

― Pabst Blue Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:27 (twenty-three years ago)

097. "Down at the Sunset Grill" - Don Henley

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:33 (twenty-three years ago)

097. "i'll be missing you" -p. diddy & co.
096. "margaritaville" by jimmy buffet
095. "american pie" -don mcclean
094. "born to be wild" -steppenwolf
093. anything by celine dion
092. "desert rose" -sting

― reo fordecor, Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:43 (twenty-three years ago)

-91. Train - "Meet Virginia"

(we forgot -100 and -99 but that's okay)

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:49 (twenty-three years ago)

this will be more interesting if you suggest equivalent replacements that aren't played as often/at all

― ryan (ryan), Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:52 (twenty-three years ago)

103: "It's All Rock and Roll to Me" - Billy Joel
102: "Crocodile Rock" - Elton John
101: "Wildfire" - Whoever it was that sang 'Wildfire'
100: "Bad to the Bone"
099. "Down at the Sunset Grill" - Don Henley
098. "i'll be missing you" -p. diddy & co.
097. "margaritaville" by jimmy buffet
096. "american pie" -don mcclean
095. "born to be wild" -steppenwolf
094. anything by celine dion
093. "desert rose" -sting
092. Train - "Meet Virginia"
091. "soak up the sun" -sheryl crow

― reo fordecor, Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:56 (twenty-three years ago)

090. Incubus - Drive

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Saturday, 26 July 2003 21:59 (twenty-three years ago)

089 Elton John + Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart

― Ben Dot, Saturday, 26 July 2003 22:06 (twenty-three years ago)

088. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ
087. Nickelback - How You Remind Me

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 26 July 2003 22:07 (twenty-three years ago)

086. The Doors - Light My Fire

― OleM (OleM), Saturday, 26 July 2003 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

"your body is a wonderland" -john mayer
"with arms wide open" -creed
085. "Big Yellow Taxi" -Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton
084. "hero" -chad kroeger & josey scott
075. "....." -faith hill
"one last breath" -creed
"outside" -aaron lewis & fred durst
083. "Only Wanna Be With You" -Hootie & the Blowfish
082. "Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)" -blessed union of souls
081. "....." -matchbox 20
080. "....." -3 doors down
079. "all for you" -sister hazel
078. "lullaby" -shawn mullins
077. "I Want It That Way" -Backstreet Boys
076. "follow me" -uncle kracker
"oh boy" -Cam'ron
074. "dilemma" -nelly & kelly rowland
"....." -the calling
"All My Life" - K-Ci & jo-jo
"by the way" -red hot chili peppers

― reo fordecro, Saturday, 26 July 2003 23:14 (twenty-three years ago)

085. Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
084. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 26 July 2003 23:15 (twenty-three years ago)

oops , i accidentally hit submit before getting the numbers in order.

the next one will be # 63.

― reo fordecor, Saturday, 26 July 2003 23:17 (twenty-three years ago)

i can't believe i'm this bored right now,

but these songs really infuriate my whole body.

i hear them at work, along with those glorious instrumental versions of other various top 40 singles.

ahhhhhhhhhhh, make them go away.

― reo fordecor, Saturday, 26 July 2003 23:21 (twenty-three years ago)

063. "Last Kiss" -J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers
062. "father of mine" -everclear
061. "picture" -kid rock & sheryl crow
060. "hot hot hot" -buster poindexter (i don't believe i've ever heard this on the radio, but i never want to hear it anywhere.)
059. "kokomo" -the beach boys

― reo fordecor, Sunday, 27 July 2003 00:07 (twenty-three years ago)

i recently realized one reason i dislike classic rock radio - almost no female vocals. you might get one janis each day, and a few heart songs, and i don't know - not much else. (i do like heart, though)

― ron (ron), Sunday, 27 July 2003 00:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Elton's talented, 70's stuff at least. I like crocodile rock. For the rest for me, just pick this week's top 40 nu metal/grunge. That shit was on every day when I worked with a hi skool kid. And man it would just be the same shit over and over and over and over. Fucking corporate shit. Whiiiiine, my daddy won't buy me a lexus, it rained on my pretty hair, etc. Turn it offffffffff!!!!

― sucka (sucka), Sunday, 27 July 2003 02:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"old time rock 'n' roll" -- bob segar

― Tad (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 July 2003 02:29 (twenty-three years ago)

oh man, I heard that one at a wedding recently. ouch. and likewise:

pink/mya/lil kim/xtina: lady marmalade
prodigy: breathe + firestarter
stairway to heaven

― daria g (daria g), Sunday, 27 July 2003 03:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Three Dog Night, "Joy to the World" (written by Hoyt Axton, the same man who wrote "The Pusher"... what the hell?!)
Neil Diamond, "Forever in Blue Jeans"
Paul Revere and the Raiders, "Indian Reservation"
Grand Funk Railroad, "The Loco-Motion" and "Some Kind of Wonderful"
The Eagles, "Take It Easy"

(if a day goes by where the radio station at my workplace does NOT play any of these songs, I bring an umbrella the next day in case it starts raining goddamned frogs from the fucking sky)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:16 (twenty-three years ago)

add ALL eagles songs, and you've done good by me ears

― Tad (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Even "Those Shoes"? Because I like that one. (Mostly because, lyrics aside, it sounds nothing like an Eagles song)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:21 (twenty-three years ago)

since you live in MN, and i live in NJ, you can put whatever you want on yer radio station out there cause it's not very likely that i'm ever gonna listen to an MN radio station!

― Tad (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Hahahaha Clear Channel to thread

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Minnesota radio station = NJ radio station, only the voices in the local car dealership spots here are chirpier and more Scandinavian and also mask a deep brooding resentment that will eventually spill over into a botched kidnapping plot

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:30 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, you guys don't have "waaaa-haaa-haaaaa-haaaaa raaaaaceway park!!!" in MN, post-clear channel or not, do ya's?

― Tad (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:36 (twenty-three years ago)

oh yeah, i too disagree with the elton songs being on here.
and the doors song. and the prodigy songs.

replace them with:

"sweet home alabama" -Lynyrd Skynyrd
anything by ac/dc
anything except "feel good time" by pink

― reo fordecor, Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

No, we get "trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks... Grossman Chevrolet... has truuuuuucks" sung to farty tuba oompah-band music in the MOST GRAVELLY DOWN-SYNDROME MANNER POSSIBLE.

Back on subject: Whitesnake, "Here I Go Again" (and boy, here I go again, ha ha! Gee whiz.)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 27 July 2003 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

49. P.O.D. - Youth of the Nation

― T. Weiss (Timmy), Sunday, 27 July 2003 07:47 (twenty-three years ago)

48. vanessa amerosi - absolutely everybody
47. jennifer lopez - let's get loud

― minna (minna), Sunday, 27 July 2003 08:19 (twenty-three years ago)

46. Macarena - Cali Almen (or whatever latin artist released this hell onto the world)
45. Don't stop Believing - Fleetwood Mac
44. I will always love you - Whitney Houston version
43. Bringin' on the Heartbreak - Mirah Carey (in advance of her butchering this great song)

― Geoff, Sunday, 27 July 2003 08:35 (twenty-three years ago)

42. i'm a rapist by gg allin

― duane, Sunday, 27 July 2003 08:50 (twenty-three years ago)

41. white power by skrewdriver

― duane, Sunday, 27 July 2003 08:50 (twenty-three years ago)

40. jesus entering from the rear by the feederz

― duane, Sunday, 27 July 2003 08:51 (twenty-three years ago)

39. should i stay or should i go
38. rock the casbah

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 27 July 2003 09:41 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah for real, those 2 stink the place out

― duane, Sunday, 27 July 2003 09:53 (twenty-three years ago)

37)mousse t - i'm horny
36)brassy - (can't remember what it's called)
35)marvin gaye - sexual healing
34)ben harper - steal my kisses
33)groove armada - i see you baby
32)pearl jam - jeremy

― minna (minna), Sunday, 27 July 2003 12:26 (twenty-three years ago)

31) soft cell-where did our love go*

*not actual title i dont think

30) steph stills- love the one yr with

― thomas de'aguirre (biteylove), Sunday, 27 July 2003 12:33 (twenty-three years ago)

29) Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn

― MikeB, Sunday, 27 July 2003 14:43 (twenty-three years ago)

No no no Duane. GG Allin is what you substitute for all the Eagles, Mariah, top 40 shit music in the dentist office.

― sucka (sucka), Sunday, 27 July 2003 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

"waaaa-haaa-haaaaa-haaaaa raaaaaceway park!!!"

That ad haunts my dreams!

― Pabst Blue Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 July 2003 14:48 (twenty-three years ago)

-28) Eve of Destruction (Barry McGuire).

I've had enough. Play "Something in the air" instead. Or "I'm not there (1956)" or whatever it's called.

― Alan Connor, Jnr, Sunday, 27 July 2003 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

mercifully irrelevant to US radio, but in a British / European context:

27 Eternity - Robbie Williams
26 Angels - Robbie Williams
25 Feel - Robbie Williams
24 Come Undone - Robbie Williams

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Sunday, 27 July 2003 16:17 (twenty-three years ago)

23. I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
22. Living Next Door To Alice - Smokie
21. Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

― Palomino (Palomino), Sunday, 27 July 2003 20:54 (twenty-three years ago)

20. Tainted Love by Soft Cell

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 27 July 2003 21:04 (twenty-three years ago)

19.White Snake- is this love
18. any song by huey lewis and the news
17.pink floyd -the wall
16.any song by def leppard excpt for pour some sugar on me

― Micheline Gros-Jean (Micheline), Sunday, 27 July 2003 23:05 (twenty-three years ago)

15. "One headlight" Wallflowers
14. "If I ever lose my faith in you" Sting
13. "Hey Jealousy" Gin Blossoms

― innercitykitty (innercitykitty), Sunday, 27 July 2003 23:18 (twenty-three years ago)

36)brassy - (can't remember what it's called)

Play Some D probably

13. "Hey Jealousy" Gin Blossoms

i like hearing this one! but then i never listen to classic rock radio so i would never have been bombarded with it.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Sunday, 27 July 2003 23:22 (twenty-three years ago)

re: Car ads with Farty Tuba.
I grew up on those inane Cal Worthington and his 'Dog' Spot ads. The kind where Spot was never actually a Dog. Cal almost got his face bit off by a Bengal tiger on live tv once. I would never be dumb enough to buy a used car from the man, but damn, could I sit for hours and watch him get eaten by irate animals.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 28 July 2003 00:01 (twenty-three years ago)

12. Grand Funk Railroad: I'm Your Captain. Absolutely my least favorite radio-standard song ever...

― Douglas (Douglas), Monday, 28 July 2003 01:52 (twenty-three years ago)

11. Haddaway - "What is Love"

― dleone (dleone), Monday, 28 July 2003 02:23 (twenty-three years ago)

36)brassy - (can't remember what it's called)
Play Some D probably

yes that's it!

― minna (minna), Monday, 28 July 2003 02:27 (twenty-three years ago)

"Touch of grey" or whatever its called, Grateful Dead

― sucka (sucka), Monday, 28 July 2003 03:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh my Christ, how could anyone hate "Tainted Love"?

― Mike Ouderkirk (Mike Ouderkirk), Monday, 28 July 2003 04:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't hate it at all. I think it's a great song. But if I don't hear it for the next twenty years, I still won't forget a single note of it.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 28 July 2003 04:43 (twenty-three years ago)

And remember, the thread is "Songs You Never Want to Hear on the Radio Ever Again."

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 28 July 2003 04:44 (twenty-three years ago)

The Romantics - "What I Like About You" The very first time I heard this song I thought "Ugh, fake new wave" when at the time I thought about all new wave: "Ugh, fake punk." And it's gotten worse the more I hear it.

― nickn (nickn), Monday, 28 July 2003 05:00 (twenty-three years ago)

but then i never listen to classic rock radio so i would never have been bombarded with it.
Have the Gin Blossoms been canonized already? I don't listen to classic rock radio either, so I wouldn't know. And, yeah, I like it too.

Christina Aguilera - "Beautiful"

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 28 July 2003 05:47 (twenty-three years ago)

"American Pie" by Don McLean
"You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker
"Lovin' You" by Mya Rudolph's mother (I forget her name)
"Cocaine" by Eric Clapton
"Oh What A Night" by whomever the dung ninjas were that sang it.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 28 July 2003 14:22 (twenty-three years ago)

"Oh What A Night" - the Four Seasons. You can pretty well ban them from the radio altogether. But keep "Grease".

― dleone (dleone), Monday, 28 July 2003 14:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Pink Floyd - Money

― Jmod, Monday, 28 July 2003 14:48 (twenty-three years ago)

"Hold Your Head Up" by Argent

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 28 July 2003 14:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Anything by Supertramp.

Cheeseburger in Paradise

― JMMMMM, Monday, 28 July 2003 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, boooo! That song saved me from becoming an obnoxious vegetarian!

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 28 July 2003 15:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Teenage dirtbag by Wheatus is on the radio right now and its making me want to chew my legs off.

― flowersdie (flowersdie), Monday, 28 July 2003 15:43 (twenty-three years ago)

i could do without hearing bruce hornsby (with or without the range) ever again. especially "that's just the way it is" - arrrrrrgh!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 28 July 2003 15:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Math question. Cheeseburger in Paradise was number -001. What number should lauren's vote for "That's Just the Way It Is" be?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 28 July 2003 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

*BONUS*

"a whole new world" (theme from aladdin) -Peabo Bryson & Regina Bell

― reo fordecor, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 06:07 (twenty-three years ago)

"Every Breath You Take" by the Police

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 12:12 (twenty-three years ago)

"Pride (In the Name of Love)" by U2.....not only should it never be played on the radio again, but the band themselves should permanently retire it from their live show and strike it from any future compilations of their work. I mean, who needs to ever hear it again?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 12:13 (twenty-three years ago)

"I Hope You Dance"-Leanne Womack

It seems like I've heard this in nearly every fast food joint I've ever stepped into for the last two years. NO MORE!

― Charles McCain (Charles McCain), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)

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