Best/bitchiest/meanest lyrical insults/put downs*

- Audio Two "Whatcha Lookin' At?"

"Your career is George Burns
I can't believe you ain't dead yet."

- Chino XL "Freestyle Rhymes"

"I fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker."

- 2Pac "Hit 'Em Up"

Also pretty much the entirety of "Rodney K" by Willie D.

"treat humans like students and FAIL Y'ALL!"

Homophobia exists, people.

Da Lench Mob - You and your heroes.

Bob Dylan, "Like A Rolling Stone"

- Stone Roses, "I am the Resurrection"

the alphabet that'
(sez elvis, who KNOWS stupid)
'she knew how to use'

The Fall - Idiot Joy Showland

"As you stare in your room at Shaun Ryder's face..."

The Fall - Hey Student.

"Academy Award for ridiculous melodrama goes to YOU, so get over there and GIVE US A SPEECH" -Dismemberment Plan (same deal)

-minor threat

I hope that you die
and I hope it comes soon
I'll follow your casket
on a pale afternoon
I'll lower you down
into your deathbed
and I'll stand over your grave 'till I'm sure that you're dead.

The Fall- 'Hilary'

"I'd like to wish you an unhappy birthday/Because you're evil/and you lie/and if you die/I may be slightly sad/But I won't cry"

I hate the Grateful Dead
I'll be grateful when they're all dead

Maybe you should stay with yo' mama
She could do your laundry 'n' cook for you
Maybe you should stay with yo' mama
You're really kinda stupid 'n' ugly too

(verse repeats)

You ain't really made for bein' out in the street
Ain't much hope for a fool like you
'Cause if you play the game, you will get beat

Maybe you should stay with yo' mama
She could do your laundry 'n' cook for you
Maybe you should stay with yo' mama
You're really kinda stupid 'n' ugly too
And
You should never smoke in pajamas
You might start a fire 'n' burn yer face
Maybe you'll return to Managua
You could go unnoticed in such a place

"Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
you'd know what a drag it is to see you"

Mark E. Smith should surely get an award for best/most insults, though....

"I'm not saying they're really thick
But all the groups who've hit it big
Make the Kane Gang look like
an Einstein chip" (Gut Of The Quantifier)

"This boy is like a tape loop" (re: Marc Riley, "Middle Mass")

"You think you've got it bad with thin ties,
miserable songs synthesized, or circles with A in the middle.
Make joke records, hang out with Gary Bushell,
Join round table. 'I like your single yer great!'
A circle of low IQ's." (C'n'C-S Mithering)

"Stop eating all that chocolate
Eat salad instead
In fact, you're a half-wit from somewhere or other
Why don't you bog off back to Xanadu in Ireland" (Glam Racket)

"If I ever end up like Ian McShane slit my throat with a kitchen tool
And if I ever end up like U2 slit my throat with a garden vegetable"
("A Past Gone Mad")

Etc.

Two others which spring to mind:

"You got a big mouth and I'm happy to see
Your foot is firmly entrenched where a molar should be
If you talk much louder you could get an award
From the federal communications board"

Blondie, "Just Go Away"

"You're a loudmouth, baby
you'd better shut it up
I'm gonna beat you up
'cause you're a loudmouth, babe"

Ramones, "Loudmouth"

" I wanna see you buried
I wanna drive..the hearse!
in reverse!
in reverse in reverse in reverse over you"

Pulp - I Spy

Now what is it that she wants?
Tell me what is it that she needs?
Did she hear about the brand new Benz that you just bought for me?
Cause ya'll didn't have no kids,
didn't share no mutual friends,
and you told me that she turned trick
when ya'll broke up in '96.

Mya: "Case of the Ex"

Following on from this, try '10 Points' from 'The 27 Points' album.

The Fall win out, due to Mark being a bitter old bastard who hates everyone. I'm trying to remember the line pertaining to the Stiff Little Fingers being a cabaret band.

However, this: '"This boy is like a tape loop" (re: Marc Riley, "Middle Mass")' is not necessarily about Marc Riley. BUT, the song 'Hey! Marc Riley' is, and is quite scathing.

[Chorus:]
Assface honey that's what you got
Sisyphus baby you can suck my cock
Assface (YEAH!) that's what I said
In place of a face you gotta ass instead

G.G. Allin, "Assface"

I hate the Grateful Dead
I'll be grateful when they're all dead "
Thats a Sucicidal Tendencies Song.
Another line from the same song (I hate Pop songs)is: I hate Puff Daddy and his friend,the dead fatty!

sadness filled my heart when I realized that he was in fact saying "Kane Gang" and I was just in denial 'cause I really liked them. And the Faith Brothers. D'oh.

- De La Soul, "Bitties In The BK Lounge"

"When I was pushin' weight/back in '88/you was a ballerina/I've got the pictures I seen ya"

"You little fuck I got money stacks bigger than you."

- Ballboy, 'The Sash My Father Wore'

"Well, you know the kind of people that put creases in their old Levi's? The kind that use expressions like 'tongue-in-cheek'?"

"Indeed I do."

"I don't LIKE these people, may I state here and now!"

- Dexys Midnight Runners, 'This Is What She's Like'

BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!

- The Futureheads, 'Le Garage'

The last two are mainly in the delivery, tho.

Jam--"Mr.Clean"
Daylights dawns, you wake up and yawn - mr. clean
A piece of toast from the one you love most - and you leave
You get the bus in the 8 o'clock rush,
And catch the train in the morning rain
Mr. clean - mr. clean

If you see me in the street - look away
Cause i don't ever want to catch you looking at me - mr. clean
Cause i hate you and your wife
And if i get the chance i'll fuck up your life
Mr. clean
Is that seen!

Surround yourself with dreams, of pretty young
Girls, and anyone you want, but -
Please don't forget me or any of my kind
Cause i'll make you think again
When i stick your face in the grind -

Getting pissed at the annual office do -
Smart blue suit and you went to cambridge too -
You miss page 3, but the times is right for you -
And mum and dad are very proud of you -
Mr. clean

Choice cuts: "I'm your lady and you my ladyboy" and "Are you gay?"

And c'mon, people, MC PITMAN.

On students: "You're a bunch of virgins standing in a field in Glastonbury with no mates and no bog roll."

On your mum (separately): "Your mum's got massive hands and a moustache. She trying'a look like Magnum or somethin'?"
"Your mum's stopped being Magnum, now she's just a slag/who bangs on the rag".

On Jay-Z: "You think Jay-Z's blowing up? He's blowing somethin'! Girls, girls, girls, girls he does adore. Yeah. Elton John got married, mate, yeh get me? I don't think you do!"

(2Pac - "Hit 'Em Up")

Not really an insult, but one of my favorite "I'm gonna get you" lines:
"I don't know karate, but I know CA-RAZY" - James Brown

The intro to a Xiu Xiu song ("Support our Troops OH!"?) is kind of a put down...but it's also really fucked up.

My biggest mistake is when I left you
My biggest mistake is when I left you
My biggest mistake is when I left you
My biggest mistake is when I left you
In a shallow grave

"In the story of my life, you'll barely get a mention.."

"I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us

I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town

Again in my life
I hope I lie and tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
We're pretty sure they're all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
Yeah I hope I never get sober

And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die"

"You get anything you want
Mommy's jobless fucking runt
You're fucking lounging in daddy's fucking mansion
And all your fucking stupid names
Blair and Travis, that's fucking lame
Z-A-H-C does not spell Zack,
What the fuck is with all that?

And you think you're so fucking impressive
Cause you can get your name on the fucking guestlist
Raise your nose to the people in line
Give the doorman a fucking high five

And then go
Do my shoes match my shirt?
Does my shirt clash with my pants?
Do my pants match my eyes?
Do my eyes look good tonight?
Will this place be cool enough?
Your hair looks oh so tough
This looks so good for us
Tonight my money's gonna buy me love"
--Big D and the Kids Table, "LAX"

- BIG L

any guy who likes you
like neurosis and dicks up his ass
you think you're so fucking original
gay bars used to be original too

you never get bad reviews
because all the writers shoot up cum
everyone who likes you
is a gay homosexual faggot

[Chorus:]
You're not fucking black, you're just fucking gay (x2)
You're fucking gay

The guitarist wears a mask
To hide the cum stains on his face
They're the gayest band I've ever seen
And I've seen the Culture Club live

[Chorus]

Fred wears a hat to hide his baldness
I refuse to believe blacks think he's cool
I wish he'd beaten and raped by some black guy
And see if he still wants to be black

Your pasturised life is unfit for consumption Buzzcocks - "Whatever Happened To?"

I wish that for just one second you could stand inside my shoes/Then you'd know what a drag it is to see you Boby Dylan - "Positively 4th Street"

"I hope you die before you get old...
I hope you die before*I* get old!"

"In the shower's the only time you get your dick wet"

And there's plenty more much better than that! That was just the first I thought of.

The Briefs - Silver Bullet

When I think of you, you know I think of rotten fruit,
the world would be a better place if you were born a mute,
that old time rock & roll is something we could do without,
kill Bob Seger right now,
Kill Bob Seger right now,

"...cut it off the whole thing, go to the kitchen, wash that shit out of your mouth, men are pigs, do it, tonight"

henry rollins as henrietta collins.

Well, I lived with one
Well, I lived with one, I lived with two,
I even lived with a third
I wanna tell you about number one
He was a miserable shitwringing turd
Like he reminded me of some evil gnome
Shakin hands was like shakin a hot, fat, oily bone
Holdin on for far too long
Yes he took me in, he took me in
He said that I looked pale and thin
I told him he looked fat
His lips were red and lickin wet
His house was roastin hot
In fact it was a fuckin slum
Scum! Scum!
Well then he hooked up with some slut from the same game
Black snow! Black snow!
Cocksuckstress, and I should know
Mean and vicious, her microphone always smelled suspicious
His and herpes bath towel type
If you know what I mean
I could not look at him, worm
He'd be takin a shower and who should walk in
He was the epitome of their type
Her middle name was Welcome, his was Wipe
Scum! Scum!
Well you're on the shit list
Thrust and twist, twist and screw
You gave me a bad review
And maybe you think that it's all just water under the bridge
Well my UNfriend, I'm the type that holds a grudge
I'm your creator
I think you fuckin traitor, chronic masturbator,
Shitlicker, user, self-abuser, jigger jigger!
What rock did you crawl from?
Which ..... did you come?
You Judas, Brutus, Vitus, Scum!
Hey four-eyes, come
That's right, it's a gun
Face is bubble, blood, and ...... street
Snowman with six holes clean into his fat fuckin guts
Psychotic drama mounts
Guts well deep then a spring is fount (?)
I unload into his eyes
Blood springs
Dead snow
Blue skies

i cant hear that song without visualizing that barney music video mashup.