Conor Oberst: beaten to death with his own shoes

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If you could kill the uber indie Oberst, how would you do it? Creativity encouraged.

― Fecal Jesus (mawill), Friday, 15 August 2003 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Haters hate!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 15 August 2003 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Not the colourful obituary one expected. Care to use an imperative where only desire drives you, Fecal?

― nestmanso (nestmanso), Friday, 15 August 2003 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Conor Oberst eaten by own ego, maybe?

Or beaten to death by Azure Ray

― ham on rye (ham on rye), Friday, 15 August 2003 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Conor Oberst chokes to death on Winona's big brown beaver.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 15 August 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.northbloomfieldohio.homestead.com/files/beaver.jpg

― amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 15 August 2003 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Conor Oberst drowns in own tears

― JasonD (JasonD), Friday, 15 August 2003 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Deceased in car accident. Vision impared by hair.

― rap damage, Friday, 15 August 2003 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

this is so going to be the new DMB thread

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 15 August 2003 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

(I know I should be all over this, but I don't find it all that funny)

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 15 August 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

DOA: burst o' colon

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 15 August 2003 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont think people give enough shit about that whiny bitch to turn this into a DMB thread. and i doubt that Mdm. Allison could muster nearly as good a defense of Oberst as she did for DMB, even if she liked him as much.

― Felcher (Felcher), Friday, 15 August 2003 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

personally, i'd hope he lives a healthy happy life, but if i were to be in the room for his demise, i'd hope it was quick, for humane reasons and the fact that i wouldnt want to hear him wail in pain. at least not with that voice.

― Felcher (Felcher), Friday, 15 August 2003 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe he finally tries some of the drinking and drugs he cries about doing too much of in his songs and immediately overdoses?

Or, he commits suicide after hearing a Leonard Cohen album all the way through, because he realizes there's nothing he can say that hasn't been said before by better writers? But,I guess, that would require a realization that he lacks the scope to find.

(I do have to admit that for a little while I thought maybe he had the ability to create something original and interesting, but it seems his fans and possibly his ego have kept and will keep him from ever accomplishing anything like that. Too bad, really.)

― Moss Feaster, Friday, 15 August 2003 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

all that being said, i've got a soft spot for that "lover i don't have to love" song, despite its horrendousness(that's a word, right?).

― Felcher (Felcher), Friday, 15 August 2003 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

smothered by fanboys

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 15 August 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

heart expodes due to hype overdose

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 August 2003 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

complications of turning own face into a heart

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 15 August 2003 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I've yet to listen to anything by Bright Eyes, this thread is making me want to!

― scott m (mcd), Friday, 15 August 2003 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I very much doubt anyone here is less of a whiny bitch than Conor Oberst. They just haven't found a way to make people like their whiny bitching yet.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 15 August 2003 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha

― scott m (mcd), Friday, 15 August 2003 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

though i might bitch a lot on this board, i am in no way a whiny bitch to the extent that i'd let it affect my music, much less the subject matter of my songs.

― Felcher (Felcher), Friday, 15 August 2003 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Life must be real tough for poor Conor. It must take hours to make your hair look like crap, and multiple trips to the thrift store to find the perfect ill fitting sweaters. I just think he tries to hard to be profound. Cant seem to be able to settle with lyrical mediocrity.

― Fecal Jesus (mawill), Friday, 15 August 2003 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The whiny thing has never really bothered me; there are plenty of truly great admirable whiners out there. I just find his lyrics and singing fraudulent. I never believe him, you know? He often makes great word choices, but I doubt his sincerity. I doubt his depresssion. I doubt his drug and alcohol abusing narrators.

― Moss Feaster, Saturday, 16 August 2003 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Severe dehydration due to fluid loss, or drowning in own saliva. The kid spits more than anyone I've ever seen. He was like a walking, alcoholic lawn sprinkler. It was pretty awe-inspiring, and disgusting. The moony front-row fangirls must have gotten a refreshing shower.

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Saturday, 16 August 2003 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Overdoses on anti-depressant medication?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 16 August 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Deceased in car accident. Vision impared by hair

It'd be a dashboard compressional! HAR!

― Prude (Prude), Saturday, 16 August 2003 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

now now, im no conor oberst fan, ive only heard a few bright eyes songs, and neither of them did much for me, but why do we want to kill him? i mean there are lots of other artists i dont listen to, but i dont want them dead. i know conor gets a fair bit of attention these days, but im sure a lot of people do genuinely like him, and its ok cos its not like the music is being forced on me. however i do live in england, so maybe hes more hyped stateside and i guess that could be annoying. but still, killing maybe a little harsh? do any ilx0rs like his stuff? i dont really know much about him, but im curious now.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Saturday, 16 August 2003 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

You'll be sorry.

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 16 August 2003 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't even know what he looks like. he doesnt wear silly shoes does he?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Saturday, 16 August 2003 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

As a Fevers & Miorrors fan who was grossly disappointed to learn Bright Eyes would only play songs off their new album on their recent tour, I second 'Conor drowning in his own tears'! Inspired.

― Alexis (Alexis), Saturday, 16 August 2003 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Silly shoes, silly clothes, silly hair...and he always has a dumb look on his face. Like he just saw his mother take a skinny dump on his cat. Kind of a confused and scared look. Look into him, please...and see yet another example of an indie stereotype.

― Fecal Jesus (mawill), Saturday, 16 August 2003 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Like he just saw his mother take a skinny dump on his cat. Kind of a confused and scared look.
I always thought it was his Robert Smith impersonation...

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 16 August 2003 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Bob, this is Conor:

http://dewin.oldbattery.com/venura/image.php?id=18178&mtime=1060051851

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 17 August 2003 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

This is the worst 'Bright Eyes hate' thread yet.

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 17 August 2003 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

agreed!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 17 August 2003 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ah, indie peacock. yes i know the type now

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Sunday, 17 August 2003 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Your all just wishing people would love you for who you are and the way you express yourself in your music.

― fell4thepromise, Monday, 22 September 2003 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

ive never said theres anything wrong with liking him, lots of people do, ive only heard a few songs and it didnt really do much for me, but it obviously does a lot for some people. i still don't get the hate bright eyes seems to generate in these parts, its not like his music is being thrust into people's faces.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Monday, 22 September 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread needs more googlers.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 22 September 2003 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

...seems like i've been here before...

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Monday, 22 September 2003 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

my book shelf is sinking into the sand over this orater bullshit.
conor Obrest is the most truthfull, honest, depressingly profound human being

― tim richmound. age 13, Wednesday, 15 October 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

my book shelf is sinking into the sand over this orater bullshit.
conor Obrest is the most truthfull, honest, depressingly profound human being i have ever seen in my life.

― tim richmound. age 13, Wednesday, 15 October 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.theonionavclub.com/images/248/avc_feature_image128.jpg

― , Wednesday, 15 October 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

for gods sake! STOP PRAISING AND CRITICIZING THE MAN!

― Felcher (Felcher), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Conor-hating is so five months ago. ILM, please keep up!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 15 October 2003 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

hehe, from pitchforknews about his performance on the shortlist tour - - i can't help wondering if the shoe spitting guy is an ilm poster:

Oberst is a smart guy, if a little young and misguided, so he used his between-songs banter at the October 5th awards program to rail against Clear Channel Entertainment, the massive evil-monopoly media company who exclusively books the Wiltern Theater, where the event was held, and who happened to be a co-sponsor of this year's Shortlist awards. "If there's anyone who cares about music as an art form, now's the time to make a change," Oberst pleaded as though trying out for a Tom Hanks film. "There will be no more real music anymore if we keep letting people shove it down our fucking throats."

His words were met by enthusiastic applause from the audience, and indeed, one zealous disciple ended up at Oberst's feet during Bright Eyes' final song, bowing to him in time-honored Garth-from-Wayne's World adulation. Then, bizarrely, another young man found his way on stage and in what seemed like rage or revenge or mere insanity, stared down Oberst before spitting dramatically on the singer's shoes-- a bold move, considering the troubled vocalist had a twelve piece orchestra at his disposal to kick his attacker's ass! But the cello-wielding heavies weren't needed, and security stepped in to remove the attacker. Who was this young man anyhow, Oberst's rejected Nebraskan cousin? The sole heir to the Clear Channel fortune? Or just some metrosexual fan with rabies? Who knows?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 16 October 2003 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Curt1s OTM. And I'm sorry to say so, but I attended one of his shows last year and it was brilliant. And I am not even especially into his work, let alone one of his indie asshat fans.

― Jay Kid (Jay K), Thursday, 16 October 2003 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

conor is just a "whoa" artist, if you guys cant apriciate his music or what hes trying to say, to bad for you guys...i mean you guys try doing what hes doing and saying what hes saying...you people wouldnt be able to...so leave him alone...havent u all herd "if u dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all"

hes not asking anything from you guys...he dont need you guys he has enough fans out there....so stop with the hate...geez

Kelly

conor is awesome and you are not

― kelly, Friday, 24 October 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Kelly, if everyone loved Conor as much as you, the entire universe would swerve off balance, jeopardizing the existence of every living thing. By hating on him, we're saving your life.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 120 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i agree

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is a maghnet for crazypeople.

― :|, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 04:55 (twenty-one years ago)

the secret of this thread's success was knowing that people will always google for "beating to death with his own shoes"

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 05:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"beaten" even

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 05:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ilxor.com is not even the fisrt hit for that search! its this site: http://www.northstar.k12.ak.us/schools/ryn/litproject/stories/Eric4.html

― :|, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i think its the "conor oberst beaten" phrase taht points here. lets just aks the next gogler.

― :|, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

He's a brilliant writer and jus tbecause he wrties depressed songs doesn't mean he's whiny. He also writes about politics and is pro-animal rights. Exactly what kind of music do you think is great?

― ..., Sunday, 28 March 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Not his.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 28 March 2004 05:45 (twenty-one years ago)

3/28/2004

Dear diary,

Ned still hates Bright Eyes.

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 28 March 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

I can't believe this 'conversation' has been going on since august last year, and i know it kinda stoped in march, but i just found this place so hear me out. your all fucking insane! Conor O'burst has amazing talent - yeah, he may not have the greatest musical talent, but his ability to portray passion through his music is amazing. People connect with the lyrics he rights, because people go through the same shit. So to bag him is bagging human emotion. And to do that is just heartless. I don't know all about this 'egomaniac' argument because i live in australia and he's not exactly a poster boy over here. Every now and then i might find a little column on him written in rolling stone, but that's it. If he was truly an egomaniac, wouldn't i hear of him a lot more? Wouldn't he fucking tour here?

In short, don't dis bright eyes. When he get's past his angst, he'll become even more of an amazing artist. He's great now, but he's still growing.

(oh, and before any of you bag him more, listen to fevers and mirrors...and actually listen to it. If you can't relate to it, your not human). That's all i have to say.

― anna masci, Monday, 17 May 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Conor O'burst

hahahahahah

― the surface noise made by people (electricsound), Monday, 17 May 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

go eat a bag of human emotion

― the surface noise made by people (electricsound), Monday, 17 May 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

the music he WRITES. sorry bout that, but i'm sure you all get my drift.

― anna masci, Monday, 17 May 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

It's hard to condemn to death anyone so cute who strikes a chord with so many sensitive young girls. Still, if it were possible that some cosmic screw-up had occurred and it was CO standing at the pearly gates of indie-heaven instead of Elliot Smith...

― briania (briania), Monday, 17 May 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

If you can't relate to it, your not human

I am made of liquid metal.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 17 May 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

well that explains it then. Try chompin on that before-mentioned bag of human emotion...who knows, you may grow a heart.

― anna masci, Sunday, 30 May 2004 06:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I kinda like Bowl of Oranges, the single off the last record. Even though it's a little eewy gooey.
Everything else I've heard sounds crap.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 30 May 2004 06:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Why are we still talking about this asshat?

― The Rebukes of Hazard (mjt), Monday, 31 May 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Will he O'burst when we beat him to death with his own shoes?

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 31 May 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i o'hope so

― the surface noise made by people (electricsound), Monday, 31 May 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...

Still, if it were possible that some cosmic screw-up had occurred and it was CO standing at the pearly gates of indie-heaven instead of Elliot Smith...

which magazine was it that said that women complaining abt. porn movies never being made for a female audience have never heard of elliot smith? anyway ...

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:06 (twenty years ago)

RED SHOE EMO DIARIES IS KEY

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

How come it's usually fans of sad music make the argument that their music represents true human emotion, and if you don't like it you can't be human? I've heard the case made before. It seems like Conor covers a far smaller range of human emotion than say George Michael. He has up beat songs AND ballads, so suck on that.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

put the word "that" somewhere in there for it to make sense

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

I've never heard him. Why do people hate him?

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

i quite like conor and i totally buy nabisco's argument on some other thread that he is perfectly aware of how commonplace and essentially dull - but not unimportant - his emotions are.

the new albums are kinda cool: the singer-songwriter one is especially good: touching at times, and even ocasionally eloquent. pretty melodies and fine, simple guitar playing. emmylou harris is great on it, too, even if her unison choire sometimes sound a little uninspired. that song about wandering around NYC with a broad and a coke problem is fucking great. there are a lot of blatantly great quotes, like:

"i've been sleeping so strange at night/ with a head full of pesticides"

and

"if you promise to stay conscious i will try and do the same/
yeah we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain"

i know this is not rilke, but it is nice enough. he's being pretentious, but he is being so on behalf of simplicity.

on the 'electronically inspired' album, he's biting over more that he can chew. again the pretentiousness, but this time on behalf of complexity or mysteriousness or civilization critique. lyrics are very abstract but not very deep or subtle. not nearly as much of an artistic success as the first one.

anyway, live and let live, i think that he is as interesting young guy to follow.

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

one thing that strikes me, though, is how he provides this almost institutionalized 'alternative' for every 'misfit', 'nerd' or 'strange kid'. he is sometimes presenting his themes (death, insignificance, the futility of the civilized world, loneliness, and, ocasionally, love) as if they're brand new. but then again, most of his audience is probably very young (teenagers), so maybe these themes are brand new to them in an artistic context.

well, i'm just talking not to fall asleep.

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

Oddly enough I wrote some shit about him on my site last night. Basically I think he's the Elvis Costello of the post-Robert Smith universe.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

do you think you could shoehorn two or three more uninspired comparisons in there, just for effect? or perhaps for the guiness book of world records? (you'd be competing with chuck, i suppose.)

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

i bother you

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

i liked your characteristic of the cure.

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:23 (twenty years ago)

you do, recently (well, your posts, anyway). i guess it strikes me that you don't have enough distance from the rather impoverished world of rock criticism--your comments on music are so often framed in extremely familiar, not to say hackneyed terms.

for example i haven't read you comment on an actual *sound* in a record for a while.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

xpost

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

guinNess

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

rjg

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

i retract my earlier posts and would like to add "hanging by meathooks through his eye sockets and being swung into a giant bug zapper" to the list of possible executions.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Conor Oberst: beaten to death by crazed Elvis Costello fans.

Just teasing you, Miccio.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

Perhaps the Elvis Costello comparison explains why I hate Conor Oberst so much. Am I the only one who can't stand Elvis Costello?

― trees (treesessplode), Sunday, 28 May 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

You are not alone, my friend.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 28 May 2006 19:55 (nineteen years ago)

you guys don't like that costello song _ The Imposter_?

― S. (Sébastien Chikara), Sunday, 28 May 2006 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

Costello is probably the worst thing I can think of. There's nothing good about him at all.

― gekoppel (Gekoppel), Sunday, 28 May 2006 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

That band Live is probably worse than EC, but yeah.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 28 May 2006 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

except for that one song, so convoluted and annoyingly grandiloquent it's good, I rather agree with y'all. The few other songs I know of him don't make me want to hear more.

― S. (Sébastien Chikara), Monday, 29 May 2006 01:46 (nineteen years ago)

i hate elvic costello. its his relentless functionality -- look, here's a pop song! a torch song! a country song! none of which have an interesting melody because he spent too much time crafting 'cutting' lyrics that just betray his status as a bitter old computer programmer who as unlucky with the ladies

― hjkl, Monday, 29 May 2006 02:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://perso.wanadoo.fr/fabeen/Photos/Diana%20Krall%2002.jpg
http://www.digitalhit.com/isa/18/isa18-57.jpg

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 29 May 2006 04:14 (nineteen years ago)

I cant imagine she really looks anything like that

― grapple (grapple), Monday, 29 May 2006 06:44 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

http://69.93.254.120/G/storage/site1/files/26/63/21/266321_038367c85be1549mrktq06.jpg

because he spent too much time crafting 'cutting' lyrics that just betray his status as a bitter old computer programmer who as unlucky with the ladies

I personally don't think EC has spent more than five minutes on any of his lyrics since Brutal Youth.

"Betray" his status, though? I thought his whole schtick was "bitter old computer programmer who was unlucky with the ladies."

― Myke. (Myke Weiskopf), Saturday, 30 September 2006 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

O'Burst.

4 years on...

I would still fuck him.

Bet millions of dollars and record sales later Bob Dylan is spewin' he had such a whiny voice.

Conor Oberst - raped to death by his female fans. Everybody wins.

― Voir Dire, Thursday, 30 April 2009 12:42 (sixteen years ago)

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