Great moments in language re-editing for radio airplay

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So it's 2003, and I'm still hearing the censored version of The Pretender's "Precious" on the radio. You know: the re-edit that replaces the "fuck off" with this unintelligible garble that just calls attention to itself.

Others that come to mind are the re-edit of Steve Miller's "Jet Airliner" that replaces "funky shit" with "funky ????" (no clue what that word is) and the reedit of Pink Floyd's "Not Now John" that replaces "Fuck all that" with "Stop all that"

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― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

FM - the "AM" version (Steely Dan)
"Bearing in mind the title of the single, AM radio stations naturally wouldn't play the song, but then in an amazing display of initiative, they took the 'A' from 'Aja' which was harmonically compatible and edited it into the song so that where 'FM' should have been 'AM' came out instead."

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

A howler in Jethro Tull's "Locomotive Breath". The line "and the all-time winner has got him by the balls" is changed to "and the all-time winner has got him by the fun" (spliced in from an earlier line). The hell? That makes no sense at all.

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Pink Floyd's "Money". There's an edit that changes "do goody good bullshit" into "do goody good _______". No replacement word at all!

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The radio/MTV edit of Tom Petty's "You Don't Know How It Feels," which fremmeneppavenettes the word "joint" in the most aesthetically unappealing way possible.

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, the word's in the chorus, which repeats several times. Why even bother releasing that as a single?

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

The Steely Dan is really the acme for me -- not even done to address verboten content, purely ideological.

Due to the BBC's policy of prohibiting advertising, I know that there were a number of songs that British artists recorded in two versions in order to eliminate references to brand names -- The Kinks' "Lola" being the most prominent example that I can think of ("Coca Cola" to "cherry cola").

Also XTC's "Respectable Street", rerecorded to alter the sublime rhyme of "abortions" with "cosmopolitan proportions" so that Irish radio could play it.

By the way, "Funky Kicks" was the Steve Miller substition.

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

The single version of "Respectable Street" had a lot more lyric substitutions than just that!

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't heard the single version since it was on the radio in 1981, that's the only one I remembered. Any other good ones?

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realise this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realises this is respectable street
Now they talk about absorption
In cosmopolitan proportions to their daughters
As they speak of child prevention
And immaculate receptions on their portable Sony entertainment centres
Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realise this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realises this is respectable street
Now she speaks about diseases
And which proposition pleases best her old man
Avon lady fills the creases
When she manages to squeeze in past the caravans that never move from their front gardens
Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realises this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realise this is respectable street
It's in the order of their hedgerows
It's in the way their curtains open and close
It's in the look they give you down their nose
All part of decency's jigsaw I suppose

Sunday church and they look fetching
Saturday night saw him stretching over our fence
Bang the wall for me to turn down
I can see them with their stern frown as they dispense the kind of look that says they're perfect
Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realise this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realises this is respectable street
He realises this is respectable street
He realises this is respectable street
He realises this is respectable street

(vs.)

It's in the order of their hedgerows
It's in the way their curtains open and close
It's in the look they give you down their nose
All part of decency's jigsaw I suppose

Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realise this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realises this is respectable street
Now they talk about abortions
In cosmopolitan proportions to their daughters
As they speak of contraception
And immaculate receptions on their portable Sony entertainment centres
Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realise this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realises this is respectable street
Now she speaks about diseases
And which sex position pleases best her old man
Avon lady fills the creases
When she manages to squeeze in past the caravans
That never move from their front gardens
Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realises this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realise this is respectable street
It's in the order of their hedgerows
It's in the way their curtains open and close
It's in the look they give you down their nose
All part of decency's jigsaw I suppose

Sunday church and they look fetching
Saturday night saw him retching over our fence
Bang the wall for me to turn down
I can see them with their stern frown as they dispense
The kind of look that says they're perfect
Heard the neighbour slam his car door
Don't he realise this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realises this is respectable street
He realises this is respectable street
He realises this is respectable street
He realises this is respectable street

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeesh.

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

on a car radio in the states- that shaggy song "it wasnt me" (was it called that?)

"what could i say we were both buck naked bangin' on the bathroom floor" [ i paraphrase!]

substituted for

"what could i say we were both in aprons scrubbing on the kitchen floor"

oh dear

― jed_e_3 (jed_e_3), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

the Steely Dan thing is absurd because the song says "no static at all" and, even with good reception, you *still* get static on AM radio!

"Respectable Street" was supposedly not played by Radio 1 because of the rushed reference to Sony, which would surely have been incomprehensible to the casual radio listener, certainly on AM (or medium wave as Brits *always* called it back then). thankfully this madness has stopped. I blame Sir Charles Curran.

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark 'n' Lard's Daytime Remix of the Super Furry Animal's "The Man Don't Give A Fuck" was a milestone in editing :-). Unsurprisingly, not much of the song was left...

― carson dial, Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

the entire discography of dmx to thread

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always sworn that that FM radio lets a "fuck" go by in "Who Are You" by the Who. It sounds to me that Daltrey improvs "Who the fuck are you?" towards the end, and I hear it every time it's on the radio, with no edit....strange.

― Matt Helgeson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"country grammar" to thread also

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

classic rock for some reason gets alot of stuff in - pink floyd "money", the who "who are you", zz top "legs", several others you routinely hear unedited

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, i was gonna post something like "one out of every four hip-hop singles to thread"

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

xpost

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I like when Tim Dog's "Fuck Compton" got renamed "Forget Compton".

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

dino jr - freak scene "don't let me fuck up will you" -> "don't let me freak now will you"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

(although i've never heard it played on a station that would routinely concern themselves with editing language)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Was "Shake It Fast" retitled for radio too, or just MTV?

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"country grammar", nate dogg at the end of "the next episode" and the dmx oeuvre are the only ones I can think of immediately where I prefer the edited version to the original

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i almost wish i had "clean" versions of the dmx albums

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"move bitch" edited is sooooo much better than the original.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

By "mushrooms", you see, Eminem actually meant the sort people often put on pizza

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

not-so-great moment: Moby "That's when I reach for my revolver" --> "That's when I realize that it's over"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

nate dogg at the end of "the next episode" ... I prefer the edited version to the original

Me too! Cause then everyone in the car/room/whatever that hears it always shouts the "smoke weed every day!" part in unison. It's really impossible to leave that "heyyeyeeyey!" hanging there without completing it.

― Dan I., Wednesday, 20 August 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a pretty clean edit of 'Precious' played on radio around here -- maybe they got Sire/the band to do one especially for them since they figured there would be a lot of interest because of the local references. They've snuck the unedited version through a few times also.

I think 'Not Now John' (not to mention the rest of _Final Cut_) dropped off the radar about a week after it was released, but I regularly hear the unedited 'Jet Airliner' and 'Locomotive Breath' on classic rock/AOR stations -- just the CHR stations bother with the edited versions.

― Jeff Wright, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Southern Hospitality

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Funny that about classic rock -- aren't all the listeners parents with minivans?

For what it's worth, back in the day you never heard the "fuck" version of "Who Are You" on the radio, AM or FM.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 08:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, you kids still say "back in the day," right?

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 08:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Wasn't it Neil Strauss who suggested that "Back That Thang Up" would be a great computer commercial jingle?

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

In early, edited versions of "Brown Eyed Girl," Van Morrison did twice as much "skippin' and a-jumpin'" (or was it "laughin' and a-runnin'"?) behind the stadium, but no "makin' love in the green grass."

― Salmon Pink (Salmon Pink), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Not forgetting the "oh fuckin' hell" in Hey Jude (it's kind of in the background admittedly, but it's there)

― harveyw (harveyw), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The radio edit of the last "verse" of Kid Rock's "Cowboy" is most amusing!!!!! The radio edit of Eminem/Dre's "Guilty Conscience" is also very funny, especially with the Norman Collier style last verse!!! Also, I seem to remember in the olden days that Radio 1 used to have absolutely no problem with playing the "do-goody-good bullshit" line in tha Floyd's "Money"- even in the afternoon!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I prefer the censored version of Radiohead's "Creep". "So very special" sounds a lot more earnest than "so fucking special", which is just sarcastic, making it sound like he doesn't really mean all that "I hate myself" stuff that was so important to me in Junior High.

― Maxwell von Bismarck (maxwell von bismarck), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"Well i got the notion girl that you got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours
Spread it all over my peelin' skin baby
That feels real good"

.... and again a couple of verses later....

"Is she trying to get out of that bikini
Liberation for women, that's what I'm preachin'
Preacher man.

Walkin' on the beaches
Lookin' at the peaches."

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Stewart, in the first verse what did "peelin'" replace? I thought that was on the original/uncensored?

― person#0 (person#0), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

edited version of missy, changes "is thaaaat yer biiiiiiitch???" to "is thaaat yer chiiiiiiick", which i loved for obvious reasons...

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Absolutely...I've never heard "Who Are You" edited -- what a thrill to hear that language on the radio as a kid. The world seemed full of possibility. Those were the golden days of freeform radio, man.

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I kinda like the edited version of "My Neck My Back", although I'm not sure I prefer it to the original. "Lick my (silence) aaaaand my (silence)."

Also, just about every Wu-Tang single, most notably "Triumph," where swarms of bees buzzing replace cusses. "All right my bzzzz and my bzzzzz-ettes! I'm rub yo bzzz in the moonshine! Let's take it back to 79!"

― Tom Breihan (Tom Breihan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Alanis Morissette's "You Outta Know" has two glaring ones, where vocals are mysteriously absent from the radiowaves of my local station:
"Will she go _________ on you in a theatre"
"Are you thinking of me when you __________________________ her?"

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

duck my sick owns thread.

― piscesboy, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

what i liked about the editing of the alanis song, is how they left the "f" in from fawk; so it sounded more like: "Are you thinking of me when youfff____ her?"

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

&
hearing "tniooooj" wedged in the chorus of "you don't know how it feels" in the place of "jooooint" always made me happy. in a way.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"Stewart, in the first verse what did "peelin'" replace? I thought that was on the original/uncensored?"

Pubic

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Another example of edits improving a song: "Ante Up" by MOP with sound effects from the classic Defender arcade game. There are so many, it sounds like the song is just the soundtrack to the game.

Also Bonecrusher says "I go to my heavy chevy and pop the trunk" on radio and "I go to my heavy chevy and try to get crunk" on MTV. Why?

― BrianB, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still astounded when, at church picnics, community get-togethers, roller rinks, all sorts of places where families and children congregate, they play this unedited line:

"you know that ain't no shit/we'll be getting lots of tit"

Seriously, have none of them actually looked at the lyrics for "Greased Lightning?"

― Colin, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Additionally I haven't heard any re-edited version of"Get Your Hands Off My Woman." Even on daytime MTV the word "motherfucker" can be heard loud and clear. Or do I just have cloth ears?

― Ben Dot, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Gang Of Four were once invited to appear on Top Of The Pops to perform At Home He Feels Like A Tourist, but only on condition that they remove the (clearly enormously offensive) word "rubbers" from the verse:
"Down on the disco floor
They make their profit
From the things they sell
To help you cover
all the rubbers you hide
In your top left pocket"

The band suggested that they would be prepared to replace it with the word "packets", since this would have retained the meaning, but the BBC said this too was unacceptable and insisted that the word "rubbish" be used instead.

Gang Of Four pointed out that this would make the entire lyric meaningless but the BBC refused to budge so they declined to appear.

In the event they were replaced by Squeeze, performing "Cool For Cats" - complete with lyric:
"I kiss her for the first time
And then i take her home
I'm invited in for coffee
And i give the dog a bone".

Well, what do you expect from an organisation that thinks it would be a good idea to use "Perfect Day" as a theme tune for the Children In Need appeal?!?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Thursday, 21 August 2003 10:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, the obvious for me is Prince - Sexy MF. All instances of "fucker" have been replaced by this silly high moan.
It's particularly amusing during the breakdown where they go "Sexy mother[auuh-aah] shakin' that aaaaass, shakin' that aaass"

I frankly find this version a lot more fun than the uncensored one.

― Øystein Holm-Olsen (Øystein H-O), Thursday, 21 August 2003 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Additionally I haven't heard any re-edited version of"Get Your Hands Off My Woman." Even on daytime MTV the word "motherfucker" can be heard loud and clear. Or do I just have cloth ears?

It's apparently replaced by "motherlover", which would account for the similarity (cue images of "chickenlover").

― person#0 (person#0), Thursday, 21 August 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

At Home He Feels Like A Tourist, but only on condition that they remove the (clearly enormously offensive) word "rubbers" from the verse.

What are they saying in the alternate version, which is either on the Peel Sessions (EP) or on "At the Palace" - sounds like "And the Turics you hide.." ..? Never could make out that word..

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 21 August 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd always assumed that the word was "Durex", a brand of condom in the UK.

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

OTM re: Wu Tang.

Also, I prefer the edited version of Dre Day, because Snoop Doggy Dogg says "Sshhhhh..." instead of "shit."

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

The Nine Inch Nails song was changed from "I want to fuck you like an animal" to "I want to pet you like an animal," which is so funny I don't even mind the substitution. I think I heard this on KROQ

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 21 August 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

aah ahaah aaaaawwwww. that is a thing of beauty.
then there's the editing for wish:

"hard line,
bad luck,
fist *inaudible sound*

like; why even bother¿

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 21 August 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"don't want no short short man"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 22 August 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"She'll grab your Sandra Bullocks and slowly raise her knee, don't marry her, have me" is just rubbish on so many levels.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 August 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

My favorite edit of all time STILL: D12's "Purple Pills"

"Fuck that, someone help Denaun/He's upstairs naked with a weapon drawn"

becomes

"F--- that, someone help Denaun/He's upstairs wrestlin' with Elton John!"

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Saturday, 23 August 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

haha!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 23 August 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Missy's cleaned-up 'Gossip Folks' is (with the exception of the Luda verse) so much better than the original! Also, "Coochie don't fail me now".

There's some Eminem and DMX shizzle where all you can hear are edited silences in-between words on end but I can't remember which ones apart from 'Stan'. Amusing anyhow (apart from 'Stan', obv).

The video version of Janet and Michael's 'Scream' where "Stop fucking with me" has the swearing replaced with this synth squiggle while Janet gives the finger-simply great.

'Shake It Fast'=lame.

― Barima (Barima), Saturday, 23 August 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"don't want no short short man"

Yes! "Don't Want No Short Dick Men" turning into "Don't Want No Short Short Men" has gotta be one of the funniest examples of radio censorship, especially since at one point in the track a woman says "That's gotta be the shortest short I've ever seen, making it rather obvious what the replaced word was. There was also a follow-up single called "I Want a Big Dick Man", I wonder if that was changed into "I Want a Big Short Man"?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 23 August 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

george michael's 'i want your sex' was changed to 'i want your love' on the respectable stations. i miss those innocent times.

― keith (keithmcl), Saturday, 23 August 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember that - it totally didn' fit in either!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 23 August 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

not a song, but the broadcast tv version of pulp fiction is a thing of wonder

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 23 August 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

In the Goodfellas edit everyone goes around saying "Quit breaking my chops!"

― s1utsky (slutsky), Saturday, 23 August 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

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