Pre-intro Intros: Search and Destroy

Great category, Graham.

The pick that comes immediately to mind is Rod Stewart's "Maggie May," which begins with about a minute of guitar noodling that has NOTHING to do with the song, and distracts from it immensely. (At least in isolation; it works OK as a 'tween-song link-thing on the album.)

Most hilariously excruciating apropos-of-nothing intros - "Locomotive Breath" (actually, the ONLY Jethro Dull I can tolerate - no flute, vocals, lyrics), "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is"(Chicago). Although Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here' takes the whole bloody bakery, doesn't the Song Proper not actually start until Side Two or something?

Well,it takes about eight minutes for the vocals to come in on Shine On You Crazy Diamond and that's the first song on Wish You Were Here.

The final two words - Brian Transeau. He chose his 'BT' moniker well, it takes almost as long for one of his bloody house epics to kick in as it does to get connected to a utility company's customer service center.

Train noises at the beginning of Bowie's 'Station to Station'. Car-beeps at the start of Kraftwerk's 'Autobahn'.

Well, you could do worse that SEARCH the pre-intro to Californian Girls, which is totally distinct from the song that follows but sets it up beautifully.

I know I'm alone on this -- so *very very* alone -- but I just lurve the opening minute and a half of "Porcelina of the Vast Oceans" by Them Pumpkins, just a slow beautiful build up and up. I will possibly be much less alone on the fact that the opening minute or so of chimes for "Plainsong" on _Disintegration_ is one of the best album starters ever.

CLASSIC: Stuart Murdoch clearing his throat before 'You Made Me Forget My Dreams'; the Yummy Fur before the last track on Kinky Cinema

DUD: David Gedge saying "Let's get on with it" or something like that before the last track on Bizarro

Chimes on Plainsong = classic indeed.

I like Courtney's fake inept intro to "Rock Star". It's so snide.

Squeeze, FRANK LP: the band talk in the studio, asking 'Who counts?'. I like it, but probably haven't heard it in 12 years.

Dexy's Midnight Runners - "This Is What She's Like".

And some other stuff on 'Don't Stand Me Down', but the conversation and build and kick-in on "This Is..." are classics, utterly, so much so I'm surprised I'm first to mention it. "...you weren't talking about me, were you?...."

Sorry, that was supposed to be SEARCH and DESTROY.

Also SEARCH Alex Chilton's comments before the acoustic numbers on Big Star Live.

Search: Most of the stuff from the early Daniel Johnston cassettes, especially the 'birth' sequence in 'The What of Whom'

Destroy: Bangtwister - Shake it (shouts of 'shake it, baaaaybeeee!!' - great track though) Limp Bizkit - Rollin'

I have no searches, but I almost invariably skip ALL of the Manics' flipping intros. I mean, do we need to hear Nicky Wire's brother reading unassociated poetry? Or snippets from tv shows that "explain" the songs? Shut up and stop being pretentious already, goddamnit.

Wait, I'll search ODB's Got Your Money. It always makes me laugh.

How about "outros"?

It's not on the US LP, but on a Japanese LP copy of Blondie's "Autoamerican" I have, on the last song on side two, the fairly sappy number "Follow Me", as the sound of waves crashing against rocks finally dies away, a male voice is heard to say "You're not really gonna put that on the album are you?"

It kind of redeems the track for me. I have no idea if it's on the CD copies.

I like the way the Carpenters close side one of A Song for You with that eerie multi-tracked Richard and Karen acapella performance on "Intermission"-- "we'll be right back/after we go to the bathroom."

Doesn't "De La Soul is Dead" take a long long time to get started. That must be the most tedious and annoying skit on a hip hop album ever.

phil