New theory on why Sting became so crap

The Police were the most cold-blooded, evil band in history. Forget even their ominous name and the fact that they were probably CIA operatives - musically they were imperious and invincible technicians, carving up the world into territories ripe for plunder with their diamond-sharp perfection. Like Led Zeppelin (and even sharper and colder, due to having all the blues influence surgically excised), they were an organization designed to be respected and feared, never loved. Stewart Copeland described the Police experience as 'ultra-masculine', which may explain the emotional range of their un-emotional lyrics - "Can't Stand Losing You" and "Every Breath You Take" are pretty extreme in their conflation of Other-as-trophy-to-be-possessed/self-pity. Then there's the album titles - global domination as a series of cheeky/declamatory puns, with 'Synchronicity' a bald declaration of manifest destiny - not only a force of nature, but a force of SUPERNATURE...

So anyway...I think Sting was aghast at the negative forces his band let loose into the world, and will spend the rest of his life trying to atone for this by releasing well-meaning, boring drivel, accepting the critical abuse as part of his mortification process. (I recall a 1987 interview where he expressed discomfort with the power stadium rockers had over their audiences, but insisted weakly that the Police 'weren't all that bad...we had finesse...')