R Kelly compares himself to Bin Laden

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Ho ho he he

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3108346.stm

― Coat Hanger (c_hanger), Sunday, 14 September 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 14 September 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Kandahar, I Need A Hug

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 14 September 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

man i can't wait for this r kelly-britney collabo

― Chip Morningstar (bob), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i've been thinking about it all day

― Chip Morningstar (bob), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

HOLY SHIT!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

what a fucktard

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

What a dork.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

man, you never know who's going to be into golden showers.

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

well, unless you ask.

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The key is really to ask.

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

it would be rude not to.

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I always ask.

― David. (Cozen), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Who doesn't ask?

― David. (Cozen), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

r kelly presumably.

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

We are so lucky. Not a response to Jess.

― David. (Cozen), Sunday, 14 September 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

(The most succinct thread derailment ever?)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 14 September 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i sense a theme for the next eminem video.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 14 September 2003 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

comparing yourself to Bin Laden...yes R you're really changing my attitude to you now...

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 14 September 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe his album is called 'the chocolate factory'.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 14 September 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe he refers to himself as the Pied Piper.

― Al (sitcom), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe he says things like "you're the Mama I'm the Dada" in his songs.

― Al (sitcom), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe his album is called 'the chocolate factory'
R. Kelly as Willy Wanka: "Want some chocolate candy, little girl? Why don't you come into my glass elevator..."

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I was about to say "I'll have what R. Kelly's having," but then I remembered the whole golden showers thing.

He's a fascinating individual.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:27 (twenty-two years ago)

just like dear Osama

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The question is: does R. Kelly "point upward" every time he says something on TV?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Osama Bin Leakin

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooops, a bit of clarification about my previous post. I mean "point upward" like this....
http://images.tvnz.co.nz/news/afghan_war/osama_bin_laden_speech.jpg
I wasn't making a sexual innuendo. No innuendo here. Please move along. Nothing more to see here.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Since his albums actually contain conversations with God, I'm guessing R. Kelly does point upward frequently.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Allah, I need a Hug"

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Allah, I need a Golden Shower"

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"You remind me of the Great Satan (I wanna bomb it)"

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"Half On A Bombing"
"(Ain't Nothing Wrong With A Little) Bomb And Die"

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"I Believe I Can Fly"
"(Keep It On The) Down Low"

FORGIVE ME!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

don't you mean "I Believe I can Fly (Into the Side of a Building"?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, 14 September 2003 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I was going for subtlety.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 14 September 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Allah, you need a Golden Shower

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 14 September 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

they are both featured in clandestine videos the authenticity of which is in question! it all makes sense.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 14 September 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

So R. Kelly's actually a terrorist?

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 15 September 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

players wanna play
bombers wanna bomb
rollers wanna roll

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 15 September 2003 00:55 (twenty-two years ago)

they are both featured in clandestine videos the authenticity of which is in question! it all makes sense.
There is one crucial difference.
Bin Laden pisses people off, whereas R. Kelly...uh, never mind.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 15 September 2003 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

He did say he "believed he could fly" but didn't exactly specify how he'd "land", now did he?

― dave q, Monday, 15 September 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

This is really unfair - since when did Osama Bin Laden have sex with underage girls?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 15 September 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

He did say he "believed he could fly" but didn't exactly specify how he'd "land", now did he?

Oh my.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 September 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

...are there any rock or pop stars who HAVEN'T had sex with underage girls at one point or another? It's a bit of an occupational hazard after all

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 15 September 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, someone oughta issue the poor dear pop stars an OSHA warning or something.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 15 September 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"They can criticise you without even knowing you, and hate you when they don't even know you. All of a sudden, you're, like, the Bin Laden of America."

...as opposed to the Bin Laden of Narnia.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 September 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through," he added.

Wait, so are all the R. Kelly-living-in-Afghani-caves-with-a-crippling-liver-condition rumors TRUE!?!?!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 September 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

How does one recover from a comment like this? I mean, Kelly's P.R. wing must be contemplating suicide right now.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 September 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

How does one recover from a comment like this? I mean, Kelly's P.R. wing must be contemplating suicide right now.

Let's hope Kelly's PR wing is not in fact Al-Qaeda else it could get very messy

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 15 September 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahaha.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex if you think kelly needs to "recover" from this it must be because you take the buying public to be as obsessive and small-minded as you are.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 15 September 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

if Michael Jackson had said it...

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 September 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps he thinks the buying public has a breaking point where they will say, "Okay, I'm not giving this guy any more of my money/support" (see MJ, as stevem points out).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 September 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex if you think kelly needs to "recover" from this it must be because you take the buying public to be as obsessive and small-minded as you are.

So basically, Sterling -- you fatuous twerp, you're implying that Kelly's "buying public" are bereft of any semblance of taste, judgement or appreciation of character? Is that it?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 September 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Or just that I am, I guess?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 15 September 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

People would keep buying his CDs even if he was Osama Bin Laden.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 September 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

sterling's guess otm

― cinniblount (James Blount), Monday, 15 September 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh so I seduce a woefully underage girl, piss all over her, ally myself figuratively speaking with Osama bin Laden and suddenly I'M the bad guy."

I keep wondering if R. Kelly is going to take a Polanski-like flight to Thailand.

― ham on rye (ham on rye), Monday, 15 September 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Better yet, he should re-record "The Best of Both Worlds" with Gary Glitter filling in for Jay-Z.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 September 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

...are there any rock or pop stars who HAVEN'T had sex with underage girls at one point or another? It's a bit of an occupational hazard after all

The Singing Nun? oh wait..

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 15 September 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you get Accidental Sex With Underage Girls insurance if you're a rock star?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 September 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I was going to say, "How long till he claims the remarks were taken out of context?"... but he's not going to, is he?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 15 September 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

it's a pretty big leap from saying "you treat me like the devil" to "only the devil understands me"

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Monday, 15 September 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The odd thing is that Osama is fully proud of the crimes he is accused of (despite not considering them crimes), whereas Kelly is actively maintaining that he is innocent.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 September 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

William! why are you posting here when you could be sorting out the Top 40 hoo-ha???

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 September 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you get Accidental Sex With Underage Girls insurance if you're a rock star?

As both a singer in a band and an insurance man this is my favorite question of all time.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 September 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

And wtf accidental sex? Oops my bad young lady, didn't realize I was putting that there...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 September 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Look, one second you're innocently lying naked and fully erect on the floor, and then a naked underage girl trips and lands on top of you, then she gets up, but oh no, she trips again, and again, and again, and next thing you know, you're the Bin Laden of America.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 15 September 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

You forgot the part where you piss in her mouth while someone films you, but otherwise OTM.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 September 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

But if you think about it...has anyone ever seen R. Kelly and Bin Laden in the same place at the same time?

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 15 September 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

and if he's accidently peeing on people, I suggest
http://www.abervegas.com/Home/Depends.gif
he gets himself a package of these.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 15 September 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

nick and dan this is classic material.

i think people stopped buying michael jackson's records because they stopped being exciting, btw. and keep in mind he was supposedly sleeping with 8-year-old boys.

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 15 September 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"supposedly" as in not at all as per. the vanity fair expose tracer posted some time back.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 18 September 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Better yet, he should re-record "The Best of Both Worlds" with Gary Glitter filling in for Jay-Z. "

he's actually doing a Best of Both Worlds 2 with Baby the Birdman. he should really be doing a collabo with Juelz Santana (who caught some controversy for the lyric "I worship the prophet, the great Mohammed Omar Atta, for his courage behind the wheel of the plane, reminds me when I was dealin' the 'caine.")

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 18 September 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I am a mountain,
I am a tall tree;
Oh, I am a swift wind,
sweeping the country.
I am a river
down in the valley;
Oh, I am a vision,
and I can see clearly -
If anybody asks you who I am,
just stand up tall, look 'em in the face and say:
"I'm that mountain peak up high
I'm that star up in the sky;
hey, I made it:
I'm Osama bin Laden

I'm that little bit of hope,
when my back's against the ropes:
I can feel it.
I'm Osama bin Laden."

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 18 September 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

sterling my point wasn't about what jackson did or didn't do but what he was perceived as having done.

p.s. where is that vanity fair piece? (i mean, what issue.)

― amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 18 September 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

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