Batten down the hatches... The Darkness dream (or "dream") is about to get wrong(er)

Because I support bands that deserve it. Not bands from EMI who are their to shift unit and up the stocks of a failing major. O.k., positive, they shift units and up the stocks of a failing major.

Why do rock critics always have to take bands down like this?

I've always hated them. From the first show I thought - the pop version of the Datsuns. Huge, obviously. But fuck man they are bad.

A little less cynicsm and bitterness and some more support for bands would be good.

None of the chart action would have happened without EMI. Hell, o.k., they are not as bad as Gay Dad. Why should I support them? England supports this kind of trash rather well without me.

You do not have to be a hater, and you do no have to be so negative.

Listen mate, The Darkness are an irony joke. They clot up space for bands who deserve it. Like WTF? The bizarre racism after D.R.won the mercs? But you are right - The Darkness are like trucker hats and Hear'say and the Tweenies. I won't have to worry about this next year.

Still, EMI and The Darkness can bite it for their cynical Christmas cash-in.

Hey I had a positive thought - whilst critics are salivating over this pile of pop poo - the underground bands are flourishing without the death knell of hype and it's been a good year for music.

I don't. They will be resigned to the hyped-up product of yesteryear. Unless they break the States which I doubt as USA does not do irony well and well the band are ugly-as-fuck.

Why do you have to worry about it now?

I suppose I don't. I avoid the radio so I don't have to hear that. Same goes for alot of other shit.

They will make records and have success and mean things to people regardless of the words of the rock critic.

What do they mean to you Carlo? How do they 'touch' you? I'm not a rock critic, anyways.

The rock critic tries to destroy the band, but fails.

Dude if I could I would have destroyed the Darkness before their demo. It's a cynical ploy to get your money and give you something t believe. Congrats! Im glad that you feel that way.

The band is too strong for that.

Ha! They are a pub band with a indie falsetto that fell into England's hands during an eighties irony revival. You do the math.

To create is better than to destroy

I'm waiting for the Darkness to create something. Hmm. There is always that christmas cash-in.

Perhaps many people who like them do not have your insight to the marketing, and do not care about that kind of thing, and just like the music. I hope not to become cynical like this and continue to like the music

Sigh. Carlos. I'm just not a fan!!!!! Can you think of something that you really don't like? It can be anything. Right? You have your reasons for not liking that certain something. Right? Now if someone wanted you to really really like that something - right? Well, it's impossible. You just don't like it. That's sort of me and The Darkness.

And yeah I've had insight into the whole marketing thing. In fact, Carlos, I've heard things that nobody should hear!!!! But if the band to my ear was any good, yes, I would think, this is cynicism. But dude, the band does absolutely nothing for me. And coupled with my knowledge of EMI, it is doubly so.

So I am glad that you like the band but I don't hear what you hear. And if we all felt that way then the world would be rather boring!

Agreed, but Carlo, I don't hear music. Before they got big I heard nothing special that you could not hear at any pub-rock eighties metal night. And now that they have gotten big I only hear good marketing plans!!!

(To be fair to Doomie the first time I ever even heard OF the Darkness was him hating them aeons ago on ILM).

Death To True Metal!

Carlo, think of what you posted here next time you start to slag off the Cheeky Girls. Though if you can listen to The Darkness and still spread the love I suppose there's no reaon why you can't to the same to everyone's favourite weirdo twins...

why has no one brought up that vocalist of the darkness has pipes that are so smoothed out, the retro-effect becomes one that recalls foreigner and loverboy much more than warrant and slaughter? i mean, even mark slaughter had some rasp on his voice.

HOORAY HOORAY HE'S HAVING A CHEEKY HOLIDAY

You've all just started talking about The Darkness again you boring bastards. Has anyone actually heard this Glitterati band? (I haven't)

Can we have a total disclosure here for a minute, please...

Doomie, would you hate The Darkness quite so much if you weren't crammed so tightly up Alan McGee's arsehole? And if you weren't fully and totally aware that The Darkness were 'discovered' and signed to and released their first single on Must Destroy, the indiependent and not-EMI-affiliated-at-all rock label set up by Ian Johnsen and Alan Hake, both of whom used to work for Creation and then Poptones, and both of whom were made redundant twice by Alan when his labels hit the financial rocks? And that if it weren't for Alan and Ian, Alan wouldn't have heard of, and Poptones wouldn't therefore have signed The Hives or The Bellrays, etc - ie, the bands on Poptones that actually sell enough to keep the likes of Ping Pong Botches afloat - and that, somehow, some weird bitterness towards Alan and Ian from McGee has somehow transferred itself to you, and you're parroting it here with tedious regularity? You've already admitted elsewhere that you'd refuse to review a Must Destroy band because you couldn't, in all honestly, give it a fair review because you're so negatively disposed towards them...

For the record, every time I've met Alan McGee I've thought he was actually a really cool guy - I even did a feature on him when Poptones was still a fully functioning label, back in late 2001, and thought he was a fine fella. I've also heard second-hand stories about the way he's treated friends of mine, professionally, which have made me wonder how much of his anti-establishment stand is actually total bullshit. And Ian Johnsen is a friend of mine from several years back, whose opinion on most everything Rock I respect absolutely.

(And I really don't see what on earth they could possibly have to do with the Darkness - they *are* more like King Adora. But nothing like t'Stamp, bless 'em. Not anywhere near sparkly enough.)

If I ever get a tattoo...

for the record: i don't like the darkness. for the record ian astbury 'discovered' the bellrays. for the record how can the hives be discovered when they were up and fully functioning on a indie-mainstream label? for the record i was being honest, i don't like ian johnson and my personal dislike of ian has made me admit that i won't go near any must destroy acts. i think that is a alright move on my part. because i know personal dislike will interfere with my opinion and nobody needs that shit. for the record ian and i have maintained a dislike of each other was/is exclusive of poptones or any such stuff. for the record you are more tedious than a cult-head selling flowers and bibles in airports. 'scuse me whilst i had out now. at least i will have a holiday from the all knowing all seeing i of stevie chick.

Really, you reckon?

btw - the personal history i represented is based on such small incidences that it is trivial. i just don't like bullyboys. i group them all into one person.

anyways - a half hour and i'm free for a month! woohoo!

without the money they put in that record. o.k. i'm not a friggin' authority on the darkness but someone and i'm not saying who sent me mp3 on a mailing list i am on and man it's really bad. listen rallying against this really is a waste of time! STEVIE THE PEOPLE LOVE YOU AND BELIEVE YOU ARE RIGHT! DOES IT MATTER THAT I DON'T THINK YOU ARE RIGHT?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(deep breath)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For what its worth, Press Agents have been touting 'the next Darkness' to me since early this Spring, even before it was obvious to everyone that 'Permission To Land' would shift quite so many units... I don't really think there *is* gonna be 'another Darkness', like no-one really followed Queen. but Tokyo Dragons are a pretty flaming hairy rock act and have some cool, dumb glam tunes that would make killer singles, chiefly 'I'm High On Hate (And My Girlfriend Loves It)'.