Signs Your Band Isn't Going To Make It

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You get a standing ovation when you announce that you're taking a break
All of the record companies have filed restraining orders against you.
Your drum machine quit.
Your keyboard player is a Fisher Price endorsee
Your triangle player is tone deaf
Best Gig to Date - High School Halloween Dance.
You hear strange noises in the distance that sounds strangely like "shut up!"
Your guitarist wants to know what this tuning stuff is all about.
After leaving the pawn shop you call yourselves 'acapella'
You auditioned for Star Search and they put you in the comedians category.
A string of unexplaned drummer deaths
The world is not ready for a Michael Jackson tribute band
Your singer sounds like Fran Drescher.
Flying to the gig on Lynyrd Skynyrd airways.
You destory your instruments at your first gig, and you are broke
Your mom is your only fan.
Your 'tour' involves collecting aluminum cans and recycling them

Other signs of impending doom? Anyone?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ever Fallen Asleep At A Thread?

― David. (Cozen), Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Your mom is your only fan.

i read this as "momus is your only fan"
ever get the feeling that you spend too much time here?

― joni, Saturday, 25 October 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

You are named NBT at SxSW

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 25 October 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

When yer band is a favourite of ilx and when said band members post on ilx. It's the equivalent of heroin for a dying rock star. Am stoned at the moment so excuse me if I don't make sense.

― cool kid of death, Saturday, 25 October 2003 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Stoned on what, Sonny?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 25 October 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

yer beauty, obviously.

― cool kid of death, Sunday, 26 October 2003 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

(*sniffs ziploc baggie marked "Beauty" suspiciously.*)
"Hey...uh...how much of this have you taken already? Should I just get an ambulance now, or should I wait to see if you turn blue first?"

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 26 October 2003 01:11 (twenty-two years ago)

od'ing is glamorous like it was the 1950s all over again.... i wish i turned blue and was left on a tundra and sat and watch snow fall .... it would be a cool way to go!

― cool kid of death, Sunday, 26 October 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

the ten signs that i get from being a journalist that a band ain't going to make it?

that would be diva-bitchy, true, but dunno ... hahaha ... but yeah i know the signs of a band who ain't never going to make it.

― cool kid of death, Sunday, 26 October 2003 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

but not sure if the blue-on-white colour co-ordinates would be aesthetically pleasing to the eye ...

― cool kid of death, Sunday, 26 October 2003 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

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