Beards: The Enemy of Good Music?

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beards, beards, beards. yesterday, i was wondering if there was ever a band, more than half of its members bearded, that was any good.

in the mid-70s, all six of the beach boys (including brian johnston) had beards. this period happens to coincide with what was there, up-to-then, career nadir. this being a time when recording, hell, even living into the 90s was a pipe-dream.

all four members of led zeppelin had beards at one time or other, but i don't know if at least three of them had a beard simultaneously. then again, you might think that the zep suck.

beards are a sign of decay in general. one need look no farther than our own tom ewing. but does it apply to music? since i'm considering growing a beard myself, the answer is of vital importance to me: prove me wrong, folks.

― fred solinger, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Every girl's crazy for a sharp-dressed man.

― dave q, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Will Oldham, Lambchop, Grandaddy... all them alt country cats got face fuzz.
The ladies go crazy for 'em, so I'm told...

― DavidM, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

ZZTop: two to one, complicated with legendary Us-Other-Facts-Please joke re name of ze one w/o beeard...

Other majoritarian ops: The Band, Tull, The Enid (heh: "Fred Solinger is fashioning his face after the Enid, y'know...")

― mark s, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Judging by the photos from the reading festival E of the eels has grown some luxurious facial furniture. I'll await his new record with interest now.

― Billy Dods, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A beard just isn't a beard unless it's a neck beard.

― Jeff, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

i knew e6 would get dragged into this sooner or later.

― ethan, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Built to Spill?

― JM, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

as much as I like E6...that dude has certainly gone for the garden gnome look!

― jel, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

The guys in ILM faves ABBA both had beards!

― jel, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Abba: never more than half of them had beeards, I think...

― mark s, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

details Mark S details! I think I deserve a little credit for getting a 50% figure! Maybe there were some guys with beards in Abba's backing band, which would certainly shift the equilibrium?

― jel, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

yo dude, what about aphex? beard and good

― gareth, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

JM- Built to Spill- one beard, Doug Martsch, no?

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Grandaddy = alt.country? And Wayne from the Flaming Lips has a beard. And Kenny Rogers!

― bnw, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Yeah, but I thought they all had beards at one point...

Also the everyone in The Who except for Daltrey had a beard at the same time in the mid-to-late seventies.

― JM, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Yet more proof: Bach, Mozart, Ludwig von, Chopin, Wagner, Stravinski - not a whisker among them. Wigs, maybe, but no goddamn beards. Brahms is the apparent exception, but he could get pretty wanky in a beardy kind of way. And didn't Debussy sport more of a hipster goatee with legs?

Things beards are good for: writing boat-anchor novels, painting water lilies, inventing psychoanalysis, leading your people into the Promised Land.

― Curt, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Neu! Definitely Neu! Now, good bands in which half or more of the members sport mullets--that's a toughie.

― Clarke B., Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Spin Doctors = beard. Beard = bad unless you are Roky Erickson and you are old and crazy. Charles Manson = beard. Beard = bad unless you are Cat Stevens. Eddie Van Halen and his liquor drinking bass player = beard. Beard = bad unless you are Don Van Vliet (but then you are usually only sporting a moustache, not a good look, but it works on you, you big-eared freak). James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Jason Newstead = beard. Kirk Hammet would if he could. Beard = bad unless you are Lemmy. Beards make you look like Jesus, a hippy or a lazy guy. If you want to be thought of as an eccentric fellow who fancies himself kind of a smart guy, like Dennis Miller, grow a beard, but you might end up looking like that dope from the Spin Doctors. That's all I'

― Nude Spock, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Beards = congruent to Tr00 Men.

― Kodanshi, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Aaron Butch, Drummer, Grandaddy, Beard, Sexiest man in Rock.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

The Beatles had beards on Abbey Road, and then they broke up.

However, when they only had mustaches, it was the peak of their career.

― Dominique Leone, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

true or not? the only member of ZZ Top without a beard had the last name Beard

― maryann, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

True. Frank Beard, the drummer, is generally beardless.

― fritz, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

six years pass...

Where's SASHA and CARL on this one????

― gershy, Thursday, 25 October 2007 05:35 (nineteen years ago)

Facial Hair Faux Pas!

― Alex in NYC, Thursday, 25 October 2007 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

My man-crush of shame (center):
http://www.vinylzart.com/images/AlbumCovers-TheDoobieBrothers-MinutebyMinute(1978).jpg

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 25 October 2007 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

A friend says you can be sure a Bill Evans record will be great if there's no beard on his face.

― dad a, Thursday, 25 October 2007 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

ha, so true

which is not to say all bearded Evans records are second rate, but it's a crapshoot

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 25 October 2007 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

Blue-collar rocker oddity: Bob Seger's music only began to steadily decline after he grew his beard, whereas Springsteen began to suck after he shaved his off.

― Myonga Vön Bontee, Thursday, 25 October 2007 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

The Beatles had beards on Abbey Road, and then they broke up.

Hey, Abbey Road's a good rekkid.

I met today the bearded 50% of my hometown's duo Opium Flirt. They're good, too. Now that I think of this - I have always heard them 50% bearded. Which makes me wonder: should their other dude sprout facial hair as well, or should the beardo shave his - for them to get even better?

― t**t, Thursday, 25 October 2007 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

grebt revive

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 25 October 2007 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

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