Songs that no one can dance to

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It's been proven that Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush is impossible to dance to. It's been played at 2 club nights I've been to, and when it comes on everyone is reduced to swaying and semi-balletic movements. Are there any other songs like that out there?

― jellybean (jellybean), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"this is music" by the verve, as witnessed by me three nights ago

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been at club nights where certain singles off C*ldplay's first album have been played, and I'm not even sure the choice of songs resulted in anything so much as swaying.

― Damian (Damian), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Spacemen 3. No matter how hard I try, no one will. :-(

(Though someone did once play "Hypnotised" at a club - might even have been Barry Lasagne, come to think of it - and *I* bloody well danced, even if no one else did.)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"Me and A Gun" Tori Amos

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless you're on some FemSoc VagMon "interpretation" ish, which is always "entertaining" to "watch".

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I have witnessed people 'dancing' in a club to Metal Machine Music.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

drill n' bass

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Witness: Radiohead performing 'Pyramid Song' on Top of the Pops. One guy briefly attempted a tiny spot of single-knee swaying, then realised the futility of this effort and joined the rest of the audience in standing motionless.

― M Carty (mj_c), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Kate I can dance to Spacemen 3 easily, so maybe you need to hang with rowdier people. And adaptive dancing ability is one of the criteria I use when labelling people as rowdy, though Dom's girls might be stretching it.

I think you guys might be defining dancing too broadly, because almost anything can be swayed or nodded to. Playing by these stricter rules, I'll nominate stuff that could work in theory but by nature shuts off most dancing/party instincts like "The Penis Song" by Momus -- and I'm gonna get Emeril and kick it up a notch by recommending noone mention ambient, death metally, noise/squelch, or acapella stuff lest you blow my mind with more low key ILM comedy genius like "King kong by daniel johnston and 4'33 seem to empty the floors easily hahaha!". Yeah whatever.

― DarrensCoq, Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

4'33" -- John Cage

Unless you have a good imagination!

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

classic.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 6 November 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Charlie Parker 'Koko'

I've seen people dance to Gantz Graf.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 6 November 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

no they were epileptic

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

You can dance effectively to 4'33" on two conditions: 1) You don't take your eyes off David Tudor for ONE SECOND or 2) you bring a radio (walkman not otherwise as concertgoers are by definition a rude lot)

― jazz odysseus, Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always felt "Koko" would be a perfect song for a figure skating routine, but no, not for dancing.

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm gonna mutate the question to "Songs that no one should dance to"... (unless you're a comedian)

the theme to star wars or superman (no drum and bass mixes allowed)... oh... the theme to chariots of fire... i'm seeing way over the top interpretive dance in my head...

― msp, Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Songs no one SHOULD dance to, but do so, very very badly:

the Smiths "there is a light" (Just, NO. Are you on crack??)
Radiohead "Idioteque" (You may only dance to this if you are a robot trapped in an invisible box, or a dead headless chicken.)
James "Laid" (anyone attempting to dance to this song looks moronic, I don't care how they do so.)

I've seen people dance to some fucked up things. I don't understand britpop idiots.

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

It's the language barrier.

― jazz odysseus, Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

what was the track called that moby did ?
'5000' ? well that one.

― piscesboy, Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"Stairway to Heaven".

Tales From Topographic Oceans

"White Christmas"

― David A. (Davant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

(I have no single clue why those three things popped into my head at the same time.)

― David A. (Davant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Radiohead "Treefingers". Try it.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, you can't dance to Shannon Wright. Maybe lurch around reelingly, or have a seizure...

No dancing to Charalambides.

I can't imagine anyone dancing to David Gray, although it has a 'beat', and I'm sure there are those who would. I just see it in my mind as the lamest thing ever.

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought people could dance to Stereolab's "Parsec," cuz it's all drum-n-bass, but apparently the 5/4 throws people off.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It's just hard to transition from the booty-goes-forward 5th beat back to the booty-goes-forward 1st beat, methinks. This can be circumvented via a side-to-side booty-shake method.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

polvo "kalgon"

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Revolution #9?

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

It's been proven that Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush is impossible to dance to. It's been played at 2 club nights I've been to,

Lies, you just need to learn to do that wobbly armswing over year head!
Hell, the video has her dancing all over the place.
Of course, you risk slapping half the danceroom if you do it her way, but hey, that's a good way to get a bitchin' rep!

No-dancing songs... I guess Doctor Nerve have a few!
Or maybe you'd have to dance in a really cool (awful) way. Or maybe you can just stumble over a footstool and claim "that's what I intended, in fact, i've practiced for years to get to this point of making it seem easy"

― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Kids in indie-clubs who've discovered disco-punk will play "She Is Beyond Good & Evil" under the pretence of being able to dance to it; everyone quickly learns that this is not in fact true.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

ts: the theme to star wars vs she is beyong good and evil

― gaz (gaz), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Van Halen - "Eruption"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Any Eminem crap. Go on and try to, I dare you.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Ben FoldsFive - Brick (seen this too, v.v.sad).

― paulhw (paulhw), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

In indie clubs, when Air gets played, especially Sexy Boy, people try to dance to it as if its 'dance' music.

This, combined with seeing them live, has put me off them forever.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Both Air and inide clubs.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha "Without Me" is *brilliant* to dance to!

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Friday, 7 November 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The entire genre of indie.

― Jacob (Jacob), Friday, 7 November 2003 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Anything by US Maple.

― Mark (MarkR), Friday, 7 November 2003 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Colin was right--"An American In Paris" by Severed heads will cause you to cry before you're able to get into a groove.

― Stephen Boyle (SBoyle), Friday, 7 November 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Autechre - "Flutter"

― blutroniq (blutroniq), Friday, 7 November 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I can and do dance to anything, I have no choice. My ass is a rhythm slut.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 7 November 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Joy Division, "Love Will Tear Us Apart."

― Ben Dot (1977), Friday, 7 November 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, come on, Joy Division are the easiest band in the world to dance to. Just pretend you're being electrocuted. Easy.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 7 November 2003 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Goblin - Suspiria

― Sean (Sean), Friday, 7 November 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Captain Beefheat 2nd 'song' on TMR

― And I, Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:45 (twenty-two years ago)

i can dance to anything. you people are pathetic. have you no fire in your souls?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Saturday, 8 November 2003 08:42 (twenty-two years ago)

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