My new job--time to put up or shut up

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Ok, so you know how everyone's always bitching about music magazines and what they should and shouldn't do? Well, I'm now editing a crop of in-store magazines (content's same to similar from store to store, titles vary) and I have a wild amount of creative control. The content has to be reasonably accessible, and I don't have a lot of cash to throw around, but other than that the parameters are pretty broad. The publishers just want me to make it better. What say you malcontents?

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

give that delightful jess harvell more work.

signed,
goato mountington

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm looking for a home for my 3000-word appreciation of Dr. Feelgood Potts.

― dylan (dylan), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

keith good for you man
end genre apartheid! and
don't ignore country

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm reviewing the new Trace Adkins as we speak--no "I'm Tryin'" here, but real solid.

If I recall correctly, I'm still waiting for a list of January pitches from the delightful Mr. Harvell.

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

you want pitches?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

life ain't nuthin but money and pitches

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

keith you've opened a pandoras box here.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Hurrah! Let us all ask Keith for money! In exchange for words!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

You're all welcome to pitch me offlist--I have a core of writers, but there are still some genre slots to fill. Also, I won't really be doing any assigning till next issue, so I might not be able to get back to you right away.

BUT

The point of this thread is not to give you work, but to make you do my work! Rolling Stone has many other flaws besides the fact that Jess Mouthingate doesn't write there. Get conceptual, y'all.

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i am the biggest flaw of them all.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I always like when magalogs tend towards the slightly subversive...

― cybele (cybele), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway, for real this time:

- schtick is bad NO SCHTICK NO no "creative reviews" no "open letters to the artists" no "fake email exchanges" NO NO NO

- dance music is in a terminal doldrum right now. only YOU can change this.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

- a little glamor never hurt anyone

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

- too much can be fatal however

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

- no one wants to read about rock critic, their vices and virtues, their lives and deaths NO ONE

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

- 900 words on the goo goo dolls is almost always a bad idea

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

- read magnet. then, do the opposite.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

- repeat as necessary for spin, rs, nme, the wire, most free weeklies, mixmag, blender, mojo, etc etc

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

- remember the words of egon spengler: print is dead. so you have to give your audience something they cant get online

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

- unless you're free, in which case forget it.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

NO TWO LINE ALBUM REVIEWS!!!!

― cybele (cybele), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

- people CAN read. and they can read more than 250 words. in a row. in one sitting.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

- the dumbing down of america: are you part of the problem or part of the solution

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

no ring tone charts. i repeat ad inifinitum - no ring tone charts. the death knoll of a decent magazine if ever there was such a thing ..

― mark e (mark e), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

- if you're trying to be witty and your mom doesnt laugh you're not witty

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

- photos of clubbers with hilarious captions: not funny

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

- Catchphrases

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

- reviews columns given to minor celebs and artists: a bad idea

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

- Your readers will like different music to you because they are different people to you. Get over it.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

- Look at your clothes. You are not going to be arbiters of style.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

- BALANCE.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

- nothing is ever "back"

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

- unless klezmer starts climbing the charts again

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

- retro-trends will only get you through so many issues befor bankruptcy

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

scrap all normality of contents pages and page numbers and capital letters. let the readers find their own way through the magazine .. let the word flow guide them from page to page.

― mark e (mark e), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

- if you cover music that the kids are not buying but "should be" suddenly no one will be buying your magazine

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

- cf. the new garage rawk orthodoxy

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

- interviews are pointless for all involved unless deeply involved or totally nonsensical. and sometimes even then.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

- Great artwork and great design can go a long way to covering less than great content (cough cough Careless Talk cough cough).

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

- "the artists of smash hits covered in the style of the wire and the artists of the wire covered in the style of smash hits"

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

- your king making abilities only extend so far

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Cool, this is turning into a Frank O'Hara poem.

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Do not -- DO NOT -- try to position a major label hack as wildly innovative. Readers know when a magazine or label promotion department is trying to sell then sizzle without much steak behind it.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

A point of clarification: We are free, given away in record stores

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

better try the ol'
"the best record you don't know"
gambit for the stores

I always get sad
when I see back catalogue
CDs languishing

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Avoid adding a fashion section.

"People like to read about things they're already familiar with, but not things that are overexposed." -Dave

"Flake off, touch hole" - Churchill

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

An interview conducted by text message, combining new technology with the snappy epithets of your favourite pop stars

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

less than great content

:-(

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

do away with the idea of album-oriented reviews entirely! review ringtones only! 500 word reviews for each ringtone obv

― geeta, Monday, 10 November 2003 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

write articles about ideas instead of about musicians

― geeta, Monday, 10 November 2003 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

don't write anything 'in the style of the wire' unless it's the wire circa 1992 or so when they had toy robots on the cover.

which brings me to my next point:

― geeta, Monday, 10 November 2003 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

put toy robots on the cover.

― geeta, Monday, 10 November 2003 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually used to love Request magazine, but I hear it's not going anymore....too bad. That was always a surprisingly good read.

― Matt Helgeson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 10 November 2003 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

- Great artwork and great design can go a long way to covering less than great content (cough cough Careless Talk cough cough).

Speaking of (great) design... it's only an email away.

― mohair (jon kapper), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

you might try grouping reviews by page according to trendiness, irrespective of genre. i always wanted to try this.

you would have one page of way obscure stuff - japanese noise import, unknown 70s country singer, the punk band you saw last week.

another page of top 40.

then a page of highly anticipated followups ie pj harvey, kelis, and johnny cash r.i.p. best of cash-in.

also, conceptual reviews are bad in themselves, but if you do a genre feature you can review a bunch of stuff conceptually, especially if you include some classic stuff lots of people know, to make a baseline. like you could do a compare and contrast of some new mix albums based on what sort of insect colonies they resemble.

― mig, Monday, 10 November 2003 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

also: COMICS

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

GOOD ones

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks everybody. Long glamorous reviews in comic form of klezmer ringtones written by toy robots, got it.

Also, everyone who emailed me offlist, I'm in the thick of an issue right now, and might not be able to get back to you right away (mostly because I've spent the past coupla days dicking around on ILM when I should've been editing.)

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Long glamorous reviews in comic form of klezmer ringtones written by toy robots, got it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have invented the future of publishing.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

As you can tell I'm an awfully busy guy,
writing for the Stone, Seattle rags, and New York's Village Voice.

In between record engineering and test car driving, I've updated the website (www.letitrock.com) with over 100 new links in the NAMMLINKS areas, especially new guitars, dj gear and accessories sections!

Keep the superlatives to a minimum,
Guess I need a pseudonym.

Keith Harris
Let It Rock World Tour

― Keith Let It Rock Harris, Friday, 26 March 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Is Orville on the back-burner at the moment then?

― mei (mei), Friday, 26 March 2004 07:50 (twenty-one years ago)

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