Songs to play to drown out the noise of my flatmate having REALLY LOUD SEX

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Every morning I'm woken up at half four to the sound of my flatmate and his girlfriend going at it like rabbits, and yes, I'm horribly bitter. What can I put on to drown them out? I'm looking to put them off if at all possible. The only thing I can think of so far is "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches, which would delight the fucker cos he's a peaches FIEND.

― Kate Jane Connolly (fixitgirl), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

he's a peaches FIEND.

God help him

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"they're coming to take me away" - napoleon XIV

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Merzbow//Masonna//KK Null//Aube//Muslimgauze
"Torture Garden
Prurient The History of AIDS
Wilt "Winter's Whore"
Arab on Radar "Rough Day At The Orifice"

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

favorites to piss people off:

XTRMNTR - primal scream
call the doctor - sleater kinney

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean if you really want to put them off, then you should play the beginning of Vivaldi's Four Seasons or something.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You're all fucking geniuses. where can I get "The History of Aids"?

― Kate Jane Connolly (fixitgirl), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

How about "Fanfare for the Common Man", would that have the same effect do you think? It's the only piece of classical music i have, unless you count the Clockwork Orange soundtrack...

― Kate Jane Connolly (fixitgirl), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

The Carpenters, singles 1969-1974

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: there is no music sweeter than one's housemates goin' at it.

― P3rv McP3rvy (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

John Lennon's "Mother", Elvis' "Old Shep" or "Battle Hymn of the Republic", perhaps "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer".

Some Residents or Shaggs would be nice withering anti-sex music.

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Ohhh, it's just dawned on me, I've got to get a copy of Brotherhood of Man's 'Save Your Kisses For Me'.

― Kate Jane Connolly (fixitgirl), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fanfare for the Common Man" might backfire -- it's so anthemic your flatmate might get some heroic fantasy going in his head that he's fucking for the ages or something.

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, maybe I should rename this thread to "songs that your common or garden indie girl might have in her collection" I've uncovered the Virgin Suicides soundtrack which has Todd Rundgren, Heart, Gilbert O'Sullivan *and* Styx on it. I'm sure this would offend his sensibilities enough for him to lose his erection. what say you?

― Kate Jane Connolly (fixitgirl), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

crass - "reality asylum"
wagner - "ride of the valkyries"
los del rio f matrix - "macarena (bayside boys mix)"

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

dude! it's gotta be Celine Dion - "My Heart Will Go On"!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"garden indie"?

the all time champion here of course is "Dear Mr. Jesus": http://mrmom.amaonline.com/special/DearMrJesus.htm

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Diamanda Galas' Plague Mass ought to both drown them out and convince them to never, ever, ever have sex again in their wretched, STD-ridden lives again.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

oh my God Matos wins, but also loses, because I will kill him dead for getting that song into my head just in time for Christmas

may you soon hear "Butterfly Kisses" and know its pain, sir

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate: you can get history of AIDS on SoulSeek sometimes (is slsk still up? Haven't used it in ages.) You can order the actual CD from the label, Hospital Productions or from some distributors like RRRecords or Hanson Records.

I'd also suggest things by Napalm Death, The Birthday Party and Dropdead.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Track 8 - Bittersweet

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

muskat love. captain & tenille
(by way of Willis Allen Ramsey)

― rumple, Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Zappa - What's the ugliest part of your body?

― bahtology, Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

TURBONEGRO

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

whitehouse "you don't have to say please"

(this is my answer for everything)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, what about "Shrivel Up" by Devo?
Too literal?

― Brandon Mitchell (A.H.), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I tell ya...one high-volume airing of Diamanda's Plague Mass while they're in flagrant coitus and they'll never take their clothes off again.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Some John Philip Sousa marches might be just the thing.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

oh my God Matos wins, but also loses, because I will kill him dead for getting that song into my head just in time for Christmas

PowerSource, baby! John, think of it this way -- Donut Bitch once sagely observed that the Flaming Lips could cover that EASY.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

A track like 'Old fart at play' or 'Dali's car' from Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart.Play VERY LOUD and it'll fuck up his rhythm, trust me. Actually play 'Dachau Blues' That will also KILL his hard-on.

― Pete S, Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

how about a Hitler speech?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Set it to a sexy beat and you've got Laibach porn music, baby.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

What's that track on Berlin by Lou Reed that features the crying children (who were apparently just informed that their mother was dead?) That'd kill the mood nicely, I think.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Play any Half Man Half Biscuit song. Or the Macc Lads.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex in NYC doubly OTM.

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The Theme from Monty Python's Flying Circus

― Davlo (Davlo), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Bubba Sparxxx - Twerk A Little

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"Pass The Dutchie" - New Edition
"Achey Breaky Heart" - Billy Ray Redneck-whats-his-name
"Stand By Your Man"
"Jordan, Minnesota" - Big Black

― Davlo (Davlo), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The Theme from Monty Python's Flying Circus

-- Davlo (daveloe...), November 19th, 2003.

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHA. Brilliant!

Play some Birthday Party or Big Black, unless they're some extra-kinky types.

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

M0unt41n G04ts - Tallahassee

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Henry Cow's "Western Culture"
Korova's "Dead Like and Angel"
Melt Banana -any-

― James Slone (Freon Trotsky), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Something by Zyklon or Myrkskog.

― man, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Or Masonna - Wear Your Love Like Heaven.

― man, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Wesley Willis- 'rock and roll mcdonalds'

Shannon wright- 'regulation scorrer' ...or her cover of the Smiths' 'asleep'

Psychic TV- 'in the nursery'

TFUL 282- 'mother delicious and uncle tasty'

Death In June- that song about the red dog and the black dog.

Kid Rock- 'feel like making love'

Nick Cave- 'the carny'

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 01:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Li'l Markie - "Diary of an Unborn Child"

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

From experience, I used Trans Am's 'Red Line'. It didn't have a special tactic or anything to it, but it did drown out the sound nicely.

― Sasha (sgh), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mr Jesus....good gawd, that's just horrid...

― Phil Dokes (sunny), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Flowers of Romance by PIL

― Matt Helgeson (Matt Helgeson), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

jucifer: heavy guitars, sweet voice. good for morning angst and frustration. just one woman's opinion.

― mandinina (mandinina), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

[i] jucifer: heavy guitars, sweet voice. good for morning angst and frustration. just one woman's opinion.[/i]

how can any worthwhile human being not like a woman who likes jucifer? :)

― nothingleft (nothingleft), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Fat Les - Vindaloo.

I can lend you a 200w P.A. if you want.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahahahahaha

Herb Alpert 'Spanish Fly/Flea'

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

ballboy - I've Got Pictures Of You In Your Underwear

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Not strictly music, but there is a truly alarming CD of fan-mail written to porn-stars which ought to dampen their ardour. But if it doesn't then it's time to move house.

Failing that, try playing the Archers theme on a constant loop.

― Ben Dot (1977), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. snrub: OTM -- that song's just about the creepiest thing I've ever heard in my life.

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Sickness of Snakes by far. A Coil and Boyd Rice affair released on Laylah. The sound of screaming pigs along with a Current 93 type apocalyptic noise scape. The screaming pigs in a loop will make him quick limp.

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Thursday, 20 November 2003 05:00 (twenty-two years ago)

He'd lose it and you'll be called a freak for sometime after.

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Thursday, 20 November 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I second Mr Snrub's advice. I played at a party once and none of the girls would talk to me afterwards.

― Cheerful Nihilist Grocery Store (mjt), Thursday, 20 November 2003 05:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The most obnoxious Kid606 tracks you can get your hands on.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 20 November 2003 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

DUH!

Stevie B's "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" really loud.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 20 November 2003 06:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Especially Kid606's new album...It'll jus' wanna make em fuck harder. There's nothing their to stop the lovin'.

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Thursday, 20 November 2003 06:04 (twenty-two years ago)

or better yet, the Cure's "Shiver and Shake"

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 20 November 2003 06:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Or better yet "Siamese Twins." Yay fucking in rhythm and sorrow! (Actually, you could play that one too.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 20 November 2003 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

the correct answer is "Let's Get It On", as proven by science

― Dave M. (rotten03), Thursday, 20 November 2003 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

A good dose of Morrissey should take the edge off their lust.

― steve, Thursday, 20 November 2003 08:40 (twenty-two years ago)

something by Ministry should do the trick

― mentalist (mentalist), Thursday, 20 November 2003 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

something by Ministry should do the trick

Nah, much too rhythmic....which renders it almost an aphrodisiac. You need something yowling, chaotic, emotionally-harried and jarring. Diamanda Galas or Lydia Lunch. Go No Wave!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 20 November 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Jandek

― Cheerful Nihilist Grocery Store (mjt), Thursday, 20 November 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Donut Bitch... Stevie B. did not do that song! For shame!

― Jermaine Stewart (gygax!), Thursday, 20 November 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

*eep*!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 20 November 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

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