top 40 advice songs

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42. "You Can't Always Get What You Want" ~ Rolling Stones
41. "When Ya Get Drafted" ~ Dead Kennedys

― otto, Monday, 1 December 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

40. "Don't Stand in Line" by Pailhead

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

39. "Shop Around" - Captain and Tenneile

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

38. "Don't Fence Me In" Irving Berlin? Cole Porter.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

37. "Shout" by Tears for Fears

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

36. "Rise Above" by Black Flag

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

35. the descendents - "pep talk"

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

34. "White Lines (Don't Don't Do It) - Grandmaster Flash

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

33. Relax - Frankie GTH

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

32. Daniel Johnston - "Unpack Your Adjectives"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 1 December 2003 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

31. Spanish Pipedream - John Prine

Blow up your TV throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try an find Jesus on your own

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

31. "Don't Shit Where You Eat" - Ween

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

30. "More You Becomes You" ~ Plush

― otto, Monday, 1 December 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

29. Good Advices - R.E.M.

― may pang (maypang), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

28. "Advice to the Graduate" -- Silver Jews ("on the last day of your life, don't forget to die" et al.)

― Salmon Pink (Salmon Pink), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

29. Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)

― Michael Patrick Brady (Michael Patrick Brady), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"START TODAY" - Gorilla Biscuits
"Break down the Walls" - Youth of TOday

― dz, Monday, 1 December 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

26. "If You Wanna Be Happy"-Jimmy Soul

25. "Don't Eat Stuff off the Sidewalk"-the Cramps

― Arthur (Arthur), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

23. don't eat the yellow snow

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

22. white horse (i.e., don't ride it, ride the white pony instead!)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess mine should have been 24 and 23, huh?

― Arthur (Arthur), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Kill Your Television - Ned's Atomic Dustbin

― may pang (maypang), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

err.. 21. Kill Your Television - Ned's Atomic Dustbin

― may pang (maypang), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

20. "The Lord Loves The One (Who Loves The Lord)" -- George Harrison
19. "Be Here Now" -- George Harrison
18. "Hold On To Your Love" -- Neil Young

― Nom De Plume (Nom De Plume), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

17. Father To Son - Cat Stevens
16. Advice For The Young At Heart - Tears For Fears

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

15. "There Is Loving/Among Us/There Is Loving" ~ Kevin Ayers

― otto, Monday, 1 December 2003 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

14. "Transmission" (Let's dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to the radio) - Joy Division

― Tobias H (akausal), Monday, 1 December 2003 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I really need to stop posting to my own question, but how could I forget

13. "Motor Away" ~ Guided by Voices

― otto, Monday, 1 December 2003 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

uh, and, then there's, um

12. "Tired Eyes" ~ Neil Young

Please take my advice. Please, take my advice.

― otto, Monday, 1 December 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

11. Look Out For My Love - Neil Young

― may pang (maypang), Monday, 1 December 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

10. "Kill Your Sons" -- Lou Reed

― Salmon Pink (Salmon Pink), Monday, 1 December 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

9. Boney M "Never Change Lovers in the Middle of the Night" (Axl Rose on threesomes - "One of them usually gets pissed off")

― dave q, Monday, 1 December 2003 22:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Tangential consequences-of-ignoring-advice song - Ramones, "You Should Not Have Opened That Door"

― dave q, Monday, 1 December 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"Take the K.A.S.H."-Wreckless Eric

― Arthur (Arthur), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Big Fun - "Teenage Suicide (Don't Do It)"

― bad jode (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"Take Stuff from Work" by King Missile

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"Leave the Capitol", how could I have forgotten. The song and the advice both.

― dave q, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Me, Myself and I: De La Soul.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

"Straight Edge," Minor Threat.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

1. Anal Cunt - "The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid, You Stupid Cunt"

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

oh wait, it's Stupid >Fucking< Cunt

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

'Don't Mug Yourself' - the Streets

― Debito (Debito), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 01:10 (twenty-two years ago)

burt bacharach - "i'll never fall in love again"

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 01:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"Be Thankful for What You've Got"--William DeVaughn

― webcrack (music=crack), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Desperate Bicycles "Advice On Arrest"

― Nag! Nag! Nag! (Nag! Nag! Nag!), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 04:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't Shit Where You Eat"- Ween

― Shmuel (shmuel), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"In the navy" The Vilage People

― Jole, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 05:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"look for the good in others and they'll see the good in you" - the chills

― fact checking cuz, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

fatima mansions "only losers take the bus"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"don't fear the reaper" - boc

― fact checking cuz, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"remind me to smile," gary numan

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Eat Shit You Fucking Redneck - Pigface

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 10:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"(Don't Bother with a) Local Girl" by Graham Parker
"(Get a) Grip (On Yourself)" by the Stranglers

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

those Sparks albums on Island seem to be full of tips

― george gosset (gegoss), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't Talk to Strangers" by.....er....was it Rick Springfield?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael Jackson "Beat It"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

that graham parker advice is "don't bother with the local girls," i believe.

― fact checking cuz, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Let it Be - Beatles

― may pang (maypang), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't ski naked down Mt.Everest
With lilies up your nose
Don't punt up the Ganges in a vest
And holler 'Thar she blows'
Don't fish for tunny in Meat Madras
With blotting pads as bait
Don't converse with shrimps of higher class
About the church and state

I'd play hoop-la with Saturn's rings
I'd tie a knot in Erroll Flynn's
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee ying
For you

Don't dance the polka in a dhoti
And whistle the Rite of Spring
Don't recite Hamlet's soliloquy
While munching onion rings

Don't plant a stickleback in a field
On St.Augustine's Day
Don't sharpen your sword and beat your shield
And somersault up a brae

I'd juggle with Jupiter's moons
I'd flatten the Sahara's dunes
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yoon

Don't build a pyramid on the pole
With Frosties packets and glue
Don't serve rubber bullets in a bowl
And call it Irish Stew

Don't change all the water into wine
And walk on the Dead Sea
Never sing the Song of the Golden Rhine
With an augmented flea

I'd make a world in seven days
I'd pasteurise the Milky Way
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yay

I'd play hoop-la with Saturn's rings
I'd tie a knot in Erroll Flynn's
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee ying

I'd juggle with Jupiter's moons
I'd flatten the Sahara's dunes
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yi pee yoon

I'd kick Mars into a black hole
I'd spread plum jam on Denning's rolls
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yole

I'd squeeze the spots out from the sun
I'd swim the Mare Imbrium
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yun

Mush a ding, toodle eye-ay
Tara diddle dyno day
Yi yi yip, yip yipee yay"

Ten Don'ts For Honeymooners - The Monochrome Set

(se also: Pop wisdom: Best advice in a (pop) song?)

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

It makes me sad that "It Wasn't Me" is nowhere to be found.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Jim Croce - Don't Mess Around With Jim

― BrianB, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Listen to me" The Hollies
"Tie Your Mother Down" Queen
"Master and Servant" Depeche Mode

― Ian Grey (Ian_G), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Beau Brummells-"Don't Talk To Strangers"

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"Show them the fuck u sign"

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't Smoke in Bed" by Nina Simone

― Alex Pittman (Alex Pittman), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't Believe the Hype

― Will (will), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Move Your Feet"

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Surrender" by Cheap Trick features advice from three parties. "Mother" says to "stay away [from 'girls like you' because] you'll never known what you'll catch." "Father" recommends that you listen to Mother. And the band implores you to "Surrender...surrender...but don't give yourself away."

― John Fredland (jfredland), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't Drive Drunk" Stevie Wonder

― BrianB, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

nine years pass...

I know of three of the best girl groups advice songs.
1) Tell Him The Exciters advice on how to express ones fee;ngs to a boyfriend

2) Needle in a Haystack The Velveletes Advice on looking for a boyfriend

3) Peaches & Cream the Ikettes Advice on life mother to daughter
*
* note the version of shop around which should have been aded tot he list is the one by The Miracles

** Honorable mention Get A Job The Shilouettes
Why is it so hard to find one of these right now?

― Andraste, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 17:50 (twelve years ago)

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