What should have been the theme song to The Return of the King?

Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist

CHORUS:
These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

Is it cloak 'n' dagger
Could it be spring or fall
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips

CHORUS

There's something out there
I can't resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There's something out there
I can't resist

The sweetest song is silence
That I've ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

CHORUS

CHORUS

Name names, dammit!

Behind Blue Eyes ('Saruman's theme')

or

Ring Ring by ABBA

or

Mathila Mother by Pink Floyd

or

Hall of the Mountain Grill by Hawkwind

Oh, Oh, People o'Middle Earth, listen to the warning The Wizard, he said: Beware the Storm that gathers there Don't
dare look at Mordor. I dreamed I saw on a tower stair spreading his hands on the multitude there summoning orcs for a
bloody war A fiery eye was watching from far. So watch as fear takes The Gray man's gaze Hope of the Earth are Hobbits
brave. I see no day, if Frodo fails, so grey is the face of Gandalf the Wizard. Oh, oh, people o'Middle Earth listen to
the warning the prophet, he said. For soon the veil of Sauron falls he'll be after you land. Oh, oh, people of the
Earth form a small but punchy Fellowship. Go and fight the new Dark Lord return with your life, though! He told of
Sauron as mad and foul taking the weak and seducible soul Late too late all the people run the Kings of Gondor, now
must return. From Gollums love was The Ring estranged, had kept it his own, his preciousss gain. If Bilbo kept, what
Sauron made then death all around will be your dowry. Oh, oh, people of The Shire listen to the warning as Gandalf
said: For those who hear and mark my words I have got a good plan: aaahaaahhahhahhh Oh, you and you of Hobbits' zoo
you'll be running to destroy running to destroy the very One Ring Ohohhh, flee for your life Who heed me not let all
the Nazgúl smell you. Ooooh, fear for your life, deceive you not the Eye of him will take you should The Ring seduce
you. Ahahhh, Frodo can you hear me? (Frodo can you hear me...) And now I know, and know I know, and now I
know, and know I know that you will bear it And now I know, know I know, now I know, know I know now I know, know I
know, now I know, know I know, now I know (now I know) Sauron will shake, his tower break Sauron will shake, his power
break Go destroy The Ring, The Ring, The Ring, The Ring The Ring, The Ring, The Ring, The Ring...(the ring) Frodo go,
Frodo go, […] Oh-uh, … Listen to the wise, listen to wise, listen to the wise, listen to wise, listen to
the Wise Man Fro-do la-la-la-la Fro-do la-la-la-la (7x) Fro- Sam- do weis (5x) Go a- throw -way Ring Go throw a- way
Ring (3x) Ah, ahhahh, ahhhahhhhh, ahhhhahhhhh, ahhhhhhhh Listen to the man listen to the man listen to the man listen
to the great man! God give him grace to purge this place and Samwise his
friend may come to his rescue. Oh, oh, mind that Sméagul. he might be important, let him live! The vision fades, and
Gandalf says Go and fight the mad man! But Frodo fears, still Frodo dares encounter these nightmares.

C F G
Just another night alone with my cat and my laptop
C F G
Maybe we'll go out to a movie, or maybe not
F G
Maybe I'll just stand on my head and then see
C G F
what the evening brings
G C G F F | C G F F
As I wait for Lord of the Rings.

CHORUS:
C F C F
I'm waiting, Waiting For Frodo
C F C F
Waiting, waiting for you.
C F C F
I'm waiting, Waiting For Frodo (I say I'm)
C F C F
Waiting, waiting for you.

C F G C G
Some may think I'm a little bit nutty, friends all hope it won't last
C F G
I tell 'em hey it's not like I grew two heads or misspelled "crevasse"
F G
I think they're jealous of my Frodo
C G F
goblet from Burger King
G C G F F | C G F F
As we wait for Lord of the Rings.

CHORUS:
I'm waiting (with Gladys)
Waiting For Frodo (eating Burger King combos)
Waiting, waiting for you
(a few short months and then Lothlorien)
I'm waiting (with Irma)
Waiting For Frodo (though it seems like forever), I say I'm
Waiting, waiting for you.

BRIDGE:

G F G F
Peter Jackson won't let us down
G F
But how does he expect us to survive this agonizing
G F
countdown?
Bb C
I'm just a typical avid Tolkien fan, or maybe
Bb C
not but I was here when everything began, so
G
please, ap-
G
-pease, don't
G
tease...

C F G
Just another night alone with my cat, life in slow mo
C F G
Sitting here in line for the movie, just...11** months to go!
F G C F
I dream of distant lands, of hobbits, and of kings
G C G F F | C G F F
As I wait for Lord of the Rings.


CHORUS:
I'm waiting (with Lisa)
Waiting For Frodo (learning Elven from Enya)
Waiting, waiting for you
(and waiting to take the trip with the Fellowship!)
I'm waiting (Go, WETA!)
Waiting For Frodo (bring us Shelob and Gollum!)
I'm waiting, waiting for you
(and waiting so faithfully 'til 2003)
I'm waiting (with Rosie)
Waiting For Frodo (next up, The Two Towers!)
I'm waiting, waiting for you
(and waiting through snow and rain to be first again!)
I'm waiting (I'm waiting!)
Waiting For Frodo (I'm waiting for Frodo!)
Waiting, waiting for....
C F C F
you!

END BIT (Allison starts, add Debbie, add Jodi,
guitar repeats C F etc. then ends in C)

A: Better get in line now, just ** months to go!

D: Frodo, you're my hero!

J: I never read the book, but I liked the movie!

**should be replaced by appropriate number of months. :-)

At twenty miles away towards Isenmouthe narrows
The hobbits swung east
A long walk march through the evil and dreadful Mordor
Heart of the Dark

Suddenly a noise arose
Marching feets plus two big Uruks
(Uruk): “You now should have been inside Udun”
raised up and to the row are now the hobbits

Faith goes away
The wrath arrives
The aim so close
Frodo be rough!

Just on time an unexpected relief came
The troops are confused
Sam sneaked away towards a shallow pit
Next to him Frodo

And the grey morning arrived
To the southeast the Mountain straightened up
They undertook the final march
Pulling orc helmets and shields away

The Orodruin is faced finally
Crawling arrived there the brave hobbits
The very last stage, struggling for the Quest
Soon they will see the way that goes
towards Sammath Naur!

They finally reached the issued road
That leaded to the Chambers of Fire
The Bearer looked to Barad Dur
And it was like a stab!

The Eye did not discovered them now
They can still continue the path
Although if it is on the shoulders of Sam!

Turning a woundrous bending of the path!
A sudden wrathful stroke arises from Gollum!

With fury, Frodo prevailed and dismisse them:
(Frodo): “Farewell Sam, course up I´ll go”
He turned to went on and then fade away!!!

The forgiveness for Gollum
And Sam goes up searching for the Bearer
In ascense the path he covers
Until reaching the doors of the caves

Darkness asphyxs
While Sam enters to the dready caves
He calls loud for Frodo
The silence confirms the horror

But suddenly a violent voice arise
(Frodo): “I won´t make it the Ring is mine”
Frodo shouted as he vanished

But just in time a shade slipped in
Gollum went directly for the Ring
Bordering the abyss
Two ring-slaves will fight blindly

Hissing and with more fury
Gollum mutilated him, repossesed his precious

Dancing and stepping too far
He wavered and in shriek fell
And everything ended
THE RING IS SMELTED!

from the east
to far harad
from the west
to your backyard
all the hobbits in the shire gather round the room
and hear of nine-fingered frodo and the ring of doom
from the north
to bagshot row
from the south
to tuckborough
all the hobbits in the shire gather round the room
and hear of nine-fingered frodo and the ring of doom

all you sucka MCs just can't compete
with two hobbit rappers sportin furry feet.
our style's wild, but our beats are tight
everybody say ALRIGHT!!!
and all you sucker MCs can't compare
to a shire b-boy with shaggy hair.
we're two hobbit rappers with the savoire-faire
all you rohan riders put your fist in the air

from the east
to far harad
from the west
to your backyard
all the hobbits in the shire gather round the room
and hear of nine-fingered frodo and the ring of doom
from the north
to bagshot row
from the south
to tuckborough
all the hobbits in the shire gather round the room
and hear of nine-fingered frodo and the ring of doom

nine-fingered frodo and the ring of doom
nine-fingered frodo and the ring of doom

L-O-R D to the S
we turn out the party cause we are the best!
you bring the ring, we'll pass the test
we get the party moving, then we head for the west!
I may look hick in my hat and vest
but my rhymes are filled with flava and zest!
Goldberry chills in B-dil's nest
I rocked this verse he'll rock the next
well I'm a mic-bearer; that's my quest
I got some words to get off my chest
Check my crib it's an elf-girl fest
you wanna battle me I'll say hell yes

we bring hip-hop satisfaction
elf girls give us all the action
point the mic at the crowd, what's your reaction?
Lords of the Rhymes are the main attraction!
so elf girls in the house shake that thing
and all the hobbits in the house stand up and sing
elf girls in the house do the humpty-hump
and all the hobbits in the house get ready to jump!

sucker mcs and wargs beware
and all you elf girls throw your hands in the air
elf girls in the house say “whoaaaaa”
and all the hobbits in the house say “bombadillo”
all the dwarves in the house don't know
that I tell tall tales like my man bilbo
to the orcs in the house it’s on
and all the wild men say “ghan-buri-ghan”
all the ents in the house say “burarum”
and hear of nine-fingered frodo and the ring of doom

There ain’t no party like a hobbit party,
Cause a hobbit party don’t stop!

There ain’t no party like a hobbit party,
Cause a hobbit party don’t stop!

I am also curious about more inspired responses, a la some tripped out Popol Vuh Herzog film soundtrack soundscapey thing, or something by Marillion or, who, Anglagard, maybe.

http://www.marcgunn.com/poetry/The_Ring_Of_Hope.shtml

(onemorefunnylinkokayi'mgone)

And you'll be wrapped around my finger

or maybe Ordo Equitum Solis or some really fruity goth band.

When I was young, I'd sit around Bag End with Bilbo.
Singing songs and tales about the Elves of Old.
While we smoked our Southern Star.
A leaf of golden par
That transformed the hobbits' life forever more.

O' Gandalf was exceptional among men.
He mastered the Art, blew smoke-rings and dragons.
But if only he had known
That Bilbo's ring was the one,
He'd never let it corrupt my master's soul.

Let the West wind blow
My ring of smoke
Over through Mordor
The One Ring of hope.

Now the kids all sit around my Bag End home.
And I tell stories to them, though not of old.
Well the pipe-weed is still the same.
But my memories are out of frame.
Transformed by my love of Master Frodo.

Let the West wind blow
My ring of smoke
Over through Mordor
The One Ring of hope.

Now the ring is gone and my master's sailed to his new home.
And I have no pipe with me for one last smoke.
But I can see the Southern Star
Please take me to where you are.
Before the sadness inside floats away with my smoke.

Let the West wind blow
My ring of smoke
Over through Mordor
The One Ring of hope.

"Rivendell" Rush
The Bo Hanssen Lord of the Rings album

Samwise - Johnny On the Spot
Denethor - You Fucked Up
Frodo - It's Gonna Be A Long Night
Witch King - Dr. Rock
Shadowfax - The Stallion pt. 3
etc.

Jesus fucking shit bastard Christ on a fucking goddamn diseased pony THAT would have been execerable fucktastic horror. Mention it not!