Pop-Eye 16/09/01

It's both thrilling and embarrassing: this is the first Pop-Eye for which I have heard more than two of the singles. That's right: I've heard three.

I suppose this is what happens when you live in the U.S., don't get M2, and only listen to college radio. So, peer pressure being what it is, I am going to download each of these songs and return shortly with something brilliant to say.

I am not moving to the UK until you recognize the greatness of "Crying At The Discotheque". This is One-Note Johnny signing off.

Okay. Below is my uninformed-outsider's take on the top 20. Let me note in advance, however, that charts like this are why so many Americans think that midway across the Atlantic, everything spontaneously turns into a massive gay dance club.

1. DJ Otzi: See "note in advance."
2. Bob the Builder: This track says pretty much everything that needs to be said about Lou Bega sheerly by being infinitely more entertaining than its original. I'm currently daydreaming about little clay men listening to this as they remodel parts of my apartment.
3. Supermen Lovers: This makes Jamiroquai look like Krautrock.
4. N-Trace: This'll be a huge hit in 1993.
5. Samantha Mumba: Is Freddie Jackson still single?
6. Uncle Kracker: This'll be a huge hit in 1978.
7. Blue: Ahh, you have a vocorder. This'll be a huge hit in 1984.
8. Five: These guys are supposed to like music?
9. Louise: This'll be a huge hit in ... oh, wait.
10. Eve and Gwen: Sounds even better in this context.
11. Allstars: The most uniquely British thing here -- which is why I'm betting all of the Brits here revile it.
12. Artful Dodger: Finally, a dance track without synth/house gravy ladled all over it. Excellent.
13. Sophie Ellis Bextor: And now a dance track with an actual harmonic structure. Why didn't Saint Etienne's presence ever inspire a tidal wave of this stuff?
14. Nelly Furtado: Surely this melody was written using tea leaves or chicken bones or something.
15. So Solid Crew: Best thing here, if only for the boing-y bass touches. Apparent easiest way for UK chart acts to impress Nitsuh = minimal.
16. Dido: How can anything so dour be so meaningless at the same time?
17. Barthezz: Wait -- what year is it right now, anyway?
18. Manic Street Preachers: Redefining the word "plod."
19. Staind: I'd comment, but I've forgotten the song already.

Apparently I missed one. That one must have been really bad.

You missed the new one by The Chemical Brothers.

I must say that I've adored everything I've heard by Staind (ie, two songs). I think I'm somewhat taken in by the fact that their lead singer can sing.

Quite right, Dan. Thinking back, I have absolutely nothing to say about it. It's as if it doesn't exist at all.

I think I'm somewhat taken in by the fact that their lead singer can sing.

I don't know whether it's you or me on crack, but one of us is, clearly. ;-)

My take on Staind:

It's pretty obvious that their mining a lot of the same territory that Pearl Jam went through. Part of what makes them good is that the songs I've heard are firmly entrenched in _Ten_- era Pearl Jam, which is when that band was still good. Staind sounds to me the way Pearl Jam would have sounded if the band as a collective hadn't disappeared up their own asses in a masturbatory fit of self-appreciation.

Actually, I think that Staind doing a cover of "Black" (far and away the best Pearl Jam song) would be one of the greatest things ever.

They started their careers as a Pearl Jam cover band, so they've probably done it.

You really shouldn't know that, Melissa. :)

If they actually were a Pearl Jam covers band, I simultaneously larf like a bonobo (cheers to mark s for that one) and pat them on the head, in that they were brave enough to admit what they were and where they come from, unlike the *real* Pearl Jam ripoff band, namely the rat bastards in Creed.

Dan, being of course me somehow, is right about the best Pearl Jam song, though. If American Music Club had done that one, it would be praised by all, but because it's by Pearl Jam it is often overlooked...

I prefer Temple of the Dog.

THE TRUTH:

If AMC were responsible for "Black", Mark Eitzel would be SHUNNED, and rightfully so. Those types of comparisons are the same sort of silly shit ideas that cause people to wrongfully compare Eitzel to John Waite. STOP IT.

Pearl Jam is 100X better now than they every were - working the Temple of the Dog angle w/ Matt Cameron on the skins certainly helps.

Staind was a GRUNGE cover band, once called Stain. (Itchy Fish had the Pearl Jam cover angle all sealed up in New England.) And I wouldn't be surprised if Godsmack did time as a *shudder* Alice in Chains cover band.

Mark Eitzel would be shunned? porquoi le subjonctif?? i have been shunning for years. Dour and (to me) meaningless.

Anyone know here i can hear Saind covering Pearl Jam?

Tracer in Ned-like shocka!

As the biggest Pearl Jam fan EVER, I'm absolutely amazed that Staind has done a cover of Black. How did I not hear about this? I'm so out of the loop these days. Is it any good? Can I find it on CD? Ah someone shoot me for not knowing this already!

dan, you like staind?