Worst Hypothetical 'Local Band' Names

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Flowchart 8
And Now, Malcolm
Fustoo
Guildenstern International
pl@yboys
Illegal In 26 States
The John Radcliffe Sex Implosion
24XXX

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

the Martin Sheens

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Curvy Electric
Plaidstow
Two Two Vladikavkaz

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Fancy and the Lads

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"Mrs Oliveri's Kid and the Band he formed"
"YALNMA" (Yet another Local Nu-Metal Act)
"The Spanks"
"The Spunks"
"The Spinks"
"The Spocks"
"The Kirks"
"The Kirk Camerons"
"Fine, Then! I'll form My OWN Band, And You Won't Be Invited!"
"House Band!"
"The 'To Be Announced'"
"Mystick Circle" (but that could change at any time...)

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

didn't Mike Seaver have a band?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

For The Love Of Dog
Call Back Tuesday
The Sentinentions
El Corrido

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Silk Squirrel

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Cunty McShitballs

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Daddy's Belt (not hypothetical)

― BrianB (BrianB), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

the Kirk Cameron Mitchell's

― babbo, Tuesday, 6 January 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

funksquat

― el sabor de gene (yournullfame), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

haha wouldn't it be funny if someone called their band FREE BEER or Plus Suppo-

Oh no, it wouldn't.

― Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Kevin, Neil, Jim, Kate, Lucy, Richard And Martin Too

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Dead Band Rocking

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"I Love Underground Newsagents!"

This is what happens when English people don't understand Monty Python, just as Half Man Half Biscuit seem to to my continual annoyance.

― Stupid (Stupid), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Helena Handbasket

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Coast 26

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Landfiller

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Sucklebucket

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Groundswell

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Touching Moving Cars

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

...Along the same lines as Ferrrrg's OTM response, but every town seems to be home to at least one band named :

"Everybody Gets Laid!"

As in, "This weekend at Cunty McShitballs Saloon: Everybody Gets Laid!"

Wakka Wakka

― Ben Boyer (Ben Boyer), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Claw Jockey
The Hanging Chads

― nabisc, Tuesday, 6 January 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

'Touching Moving Cars' definitely evokes images of shit cheap flyers and gradually decaying stickers posted all over pub toilets and that. And to a lesser extent bad 'arty' black and white promo photos that don't obscure the receding hairlines quite enough.

― Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Tha Funkee Funkee Boyz

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Speaker Nation

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Are real local band names allowed?

Supafuzz takes the cake in Lexington.

― Adam Michel (adam michel), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

haha wouldn't it be funny if someone called their band FREE BEER or Plus Suppo-
Oh no, it wouldn't.

I've said it before, but I used to know a local band called The Special Guests.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Brotherhood 649
Applause 18
Takeoff 74
Denial 62
Blame 17

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

haha wouldn't it be funny if someone called their band FREE BEER or Plus Suppo-

Oh no, it wouldn't.

Colorado did have an actual band named Free Drinks for a while.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Bad Touch

― Mediawhore, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Real band names from my hometown (I was in Reindeer of Doom):

Fog Donkey
Asthmatic Pigeon
Reindeer Of Doom
The Sexual Commandoes

North Herts wins for great crap band names.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

There used to be a local band in St. Louis called Hoosier Buddy. Oh, and Sammy and the Snow Monkeys, another bad one.

I think there was one here in PHX called Los Guys.

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Eddie

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Hegemony Cricket.

I think every college town had a band called the Shivers at some point.

― mike a, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Hegemony Cricket
Fred
The Jack Klugmans

There actually was a Free Drinx in NJ at one point.

― mike a, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Jazberry Ram!

― may pang (maypang), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

John Brown's Body
Plastic Nebraska

not hypothetical

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Tha Artistic Differences

― sym (shmuel), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:23 (twenty-one years ago)

*The
(wrong thread, I guess;)

― sym (shmuel), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Moink 2000

― Rockist Scientist (rockistscientist), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Delaware River Sludge

― Rockist Scientist (rockistscientist), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Then You Fix It

― Rockist Scientist (rockistscientist), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Velvet Monkey Head

― Rockist Scientist (rockistscientist), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

There You Go

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Frank McInnes And The Men
Irish Candle

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned Banton

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Electronic Irrigation
Sex Monkey
Ass Monkey
Hat Monkey
Red Monkey
Wet Monkey
Nice Monkey

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Monkey See, Monkey Sue.

― Rockist Scientist (rockistscientist), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 04:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Evildoers

― briania, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Rod Torkelson's ARMADA featuring Herman Menderchuck

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

DJ Cutt Deep

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Red Monkey

That's more than just a terrible hypothetical band name... (click)

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Worse than "Free Beer":

TBD
Closed for Rennovation
Stay Home

----

Marching Ants

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Toss Salad and the Spinners

― rizz rami, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i overheard this band name, supposedly an 8th grade nirvana cover band: Mental Asthma

― fdhisf, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Goldilox & the Free Beers

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Jennie and the Bets

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

the gay cavemen
poopshingle
top gun
the four wheelers
pony boy
low rise
the jackson six

― metfigga (metfigga), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Destiny's Step-Child
Destiny's Step-Aerobics
Aerobicsmith

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

SEX! (Now That We Have Your Attention)

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

John and Dick: the Ashcroft Bros

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

(not hypothetical)

Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children McNuggets

― Mediawhore, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

In the vein of Free Beer, I just walked by the Orpheum in Boston and the marquee reads:

ORPHEUM THEATER
THREE DOORS DOWN

― Michael Patrick Brady (Michael Patrick Brady), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/hitler.jpg
Children McNuggets taste good with Sweet and Satan Sauce

― Lord Custos Omigawd! (Lord Custos Omicron), Thursday, 8 January 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man.

The kirk camerons

Best name evah

― Jole, Thursday, 8 January 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's a couple of real band local band names:

Brown Eye Superfly!!!!!!!!
Skarsoles!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Thursday, 8 January 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Private Function"

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 8 January 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I was very briefly (i.e. one gig) in a band that, for reasons which I never quite understood, was called "Barbara Streisand's Dirtbox".

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Thursday, 8 January 2004 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Puredrive

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 8 January 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Dom's one is good because you can totally imagine a group of no-hopers thinking Puredrive would sound totally stylish.

Whiplash
Not Exactly
Secretly Icelandic
Al Shipley Revisited
Katie's Last Night Out
The Telemarketers
The "Scarequotes"
Backne Grrrls

― Le Coq (DarrenK), Sunday, 18 January 2004 05:36 (twenty-one years ago)

The Big Slipper
Balaclava Ambush
Homo Attack

All true, mores the pity.

― mzui, Sunday, 18 January 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Sunday, 18 January 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

youthinasia (not hypothetical)
local band in my sh*tholehometown circa 1988.

― piscesboy, Sunday, 18 January 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Cornershack
Glue Shampoo
Will Rock For Food
The Institute for Applied Rocking
Sonic Electrolysis
The Stud Muffins
The Sex Muffins
The Sweat Muffins
The Scab Muffins

real: Ape Foot Groove

― sucka (sucka), Sunday, 18 January 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's some more real names from a concert that was to take place in Glasgow today but was sadly cancelled at the last minute!!!! Shame, because I would have liked to see who on Earth would have named their bands:

The Atomic Bitchwax!!!!!!!!!
Pointless Creation!!!!!!!!
[This the good one!!!] Jesus Elephant God!!!!!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

There's also some "danceable emo punk" band going around by the name of TransistorTransistor!!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

haha wouldn't it be funny if someone called their band FREE BEER or Plus Suppo-
Oh no, it wouldn't.

-- Ferrrrrrg

In a similar vein to j.lu: I've seen posters for a band called Plus Special Guests.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

There is actually a band in Glasgow called The Sexx Godz!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

"haha wouldn't it be funny if someone called their band FREE BEER"

"There actually was a Free Drinx in NJ at one point."

I remember seeing the ads for Free Drinx in East Coast Rocker years ago. They always posed really macho-like and boasted about how 'kick-ass' they were (for a cover band, I guess). Finally, one day I opened up ECR and found that some guys had gotten together and placed a parody ad of a simarly corny fictitious band called 'Free Parking', complete with all the pretentious trimmings. (It was priceless.)
Apparently, Free Drinx still play around and may have something to do - personnel-wise - with another ingeniously-named band, The Roadies.
http://home.earthlink.net/~richhutch/roadiegig.htm

― Reverend Flash, Friday, 28 April 2006 05:04 (nineteen years ago)

Here's some more real names from a concert that was to take place in Glasgow today but was sadly cancelled at the last minute!!!! Shame, because I would have liked to see who on Earth would have named their bands:

* The Atomic Bitchwax!!!!!!!!!

DOOD. The Atomic Bitchwax are a great stoner rock band.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

Happy Hour

― musically (musically), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:23 (nineteen years ago)

Schedule for The Court Tavern, the dive music bar of choice in the town where I went to college:

THE ANDERSON COUNCIL, THE GAY BLADES (ok, I like that one), STRATOCRUISER, KEITH KENNY

Saturday, April 29, 2006
ESTELLA (well, that's my friend's band), DIALATED, TUNNELS TO HOLLAND (ha I kind of like that too), WHERE'S ALASKA

Friday, May 05, 2006
WE'RE ALL BROKEN, GASLIGHT ANTHEM, KOVER, OUTSMARTING SIMON

Saturday, May 06, 2006
MEET ME IN MONTAUK, TEMPORARY GRACE, JERSEY MINX, BLUE

Friday, May 12, 2006
SPIRALING, VAL EMMICH, LUZER, FAIRMONT

Saturday, May 20, 2006
THE ROADSIDE GRAVES, PALOMAR, HOPE STAR AND BROWNING, GUTZ (actually, this looks like a really good show -- first three bands are all good)

Thursday, May 25, 2006
NATURAL BREAKDOWN, YARDSDALE

Friday, May 26, 2006
HERO PATTERN, MIRANDA SOUND, THE CHURCHILLS

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:31 (nineteen years ago)

uncle funkle

― thomas, Friday, 28 April 2006 06:47 (nineteen years ago)

I guess we're gettin' away from hypthetical, but "Jesus Monkeyfish" and "The Hate Fuck Trio" were local bands in Denver in the '90s.

― O-Keigh (O-Keigh), Friday, 28 April 2006 07:57 (nineteen years ago)

This should have been actual local band names. Much better.

Private Lessons
Miami
Junior Funktion
Assfixia

I used to go out with a girl who's dad sang in clubs at weekends, his real name was something like Chris Millar, his stage name......Paul French????????????????????

― JohnFoxxsJuno (JohnFoxxsJuno), Friday, 28 April 2006 08:24 (nineteen years ago)

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