Hey, Baby - wtf

Bob the Builder is GRATE, lay off him!! Is DJ Ötzi (the fat one) named after that frozen mummy they pulled out of a swiss glacier? If so, that is funny. Or does everyone already know this except me?

'Hey Baby' was originally a hit for Bruce Chanel in 1962, sort of a Four Seasons/Everly Brothers-type smoocher. I know not the origin of DJ Otiz's name, but his cover version screams Eurodisco holiday hit to me, and as such is part of the grand continuum of British chart bollocks.

Bob The Builder: the great thing about the UK charts' sales-only no- airplay policy is that the entire pop-listening demographic gets a look-in. To you, BTB is a novelty hit. To my girlfriends' nursery class of 4-year olds, he is the centre of the pop universe and inspires near-riots, screaming etc. every time his song is played. These kids spend their pocket money on Bob singles (or pester their parents) - and the chart picks this up. Would you deny them their idols?

DJ Otzi on the other hand is your standard summer hit - actually no, he's a throwback to a pre-rave style of summer hit (Y Viva Espana etc.) - and is ghastly. His song was played before the start of the showing of Moulin Rouge Alex T and I went to and we reckoned that this was some horrible confection of Luhrmann's designed to soften us up pre-film.

Yes yes but is he a mountaineering caveman dug out of a glacier? Obviously he's been fed a few (million) times since he awoke, but in all other respects he fits the bill, no?