Crap Band Name Watch!!!!

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Right!!!!

This is the thread where you can post any crap band names you've seen recently!!!!! And I don't mean "Radiohead, ha ha ha!!!" or band names that are merely a bit unusual or left field, but band names where your first reaction is "What the four fruit marmalade were they thinking of?!??!?!?".

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

!!!

― Stringent Stepper (Stringent), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"The Ordinary Boys"

The single I quite like, but the title is also very boring. I've forgotten it already... "Maybe Tomorrow" or something like it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"Maybe Someday", apparently. (Link to "Talk of the town" Pretenders)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's a few from a recent local listings paper:

My Turps Hell!!!!
Glasvegas!!!!!!!!
Amongst the Arrows!!!!!
Julia Thirteen!!!!!!
Refuse Boy!!!!
UK Death Charge!!!!!!!!
The Blimp!!!!
Shame About The Face!!!!!!!
Jarcrew!!!!
Shim-R!!!!!!
Catbuster!!!!!!!
FLying Matchstick Men!!!!!
Il Casio Immunitas!!!!!!
Rik Mono!!!!
The Porn Cops!!!!!!
Pseudofunk!!!!!!
[My current favourite] Nine Finger Nigel!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Stringent Stepper, actually I don't mind a band naming themselves "!!!"- seems quite an exciting name to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

The worst one I ever saw was "Death Faeces" from a demo review page...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The Blimp!!!!

Well, it's nice to see Louise Post is working again.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I like My Turps Hell and Nine Finger Nigel - the rest are astonishingly terrible

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

A friend of mine is in a band called CRADLEVISION, which I've unsuccessfully tried to talk him out of.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I think "Radiohead, ha ha ha!!!" owns this thread before it even got going...

― M Carty (mj_c), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always felt that - amusement potential aside - Bum Gravy had one of the all time worst band names. They even used the 'Bisto' font to write their name.

Wonder whatever happened to them?

― mmmmsalt (Graeme), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

there is a band in my city called Mel Gibson and the Pants.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha. I'd go see them.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

As punning band names go, I don't really mind Glasvegas...

― OleM (OleM), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

dogs die in hot cars

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

seratonin telegram (not sure whether i love it or hate it, actually)
tragic girls end up like this
world leader pretend
soul fiya (pronounced kinda like fire, but everytime i see it i think it's pronounced fih yah, as if the "soul" is "for you")

― Felcher (Felcher), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

dogs die in hot cars is awful.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

After franz ferdinand, DDiHC are the hype indie shit in scotland right now. They've got a deal, with V2 I think, and are utterly worthless.

― hmmm, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

dogs die in hot cars

I got an email off someone a while back who was in that band asking why I'd mentioned it as a band name somewhere on the net. Thing was that when I was in secondary school some girls I knew had a band called that. So it's been thought of twice.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Relaxed Muscle

― 4256677, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

The Magnificents
http://www.themagnificents.com/

are the best new band in Scotland - Joy Division mixed with Magazine. Debut album coming February.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I still say Mott The Hoople is the most cringeworthy band name ever.

― Scott, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but his NAME was "Mott" and he WAS a "Hoople", so can you really blame them?

― jazz odysseus, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Band names which force a person to speak in slang/patois.
Some New Orleans examples:

Supagroup
Soul Fiyah

― p.j. (Henry), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

One of my least fave bands also has a crap name:

Cowboy Mouth.

― p.j. (Henry), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Cowboy Mouth, I do believe, is the title of a play by Sam Shepard.

― Stephen Boyle (SBoyle), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The Magnificents [...] are the best new band in Scotland

Actually, I've seen this lot when they appeared as a last minute replacement for whoever was supposed to the be the support for Blechtum from Blechdom, and they were jolly spiffing!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

There also was a Cowboy Mouth on Throbbing Lobster in the mid-'80s.

― Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Head of Femur

and any one-word name with the prefix "Super."

― Joseph McCombs, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

The Music

(worst name ever for internet searches, what were they thinking?)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i once played with a band called Rice Cold. i don't think you could come up with a less appealing band name

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i think Nine Finger Nigel is a great name

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Cowboy Mouth make me vomit.

― Will (will), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Hoobastank

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Elvis Hitler is hardly my favourite band name...

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

i think Nine Finger Nigel is a great name

Hmmm... Maybe I ought to start a band called Twelve Toes Tony!!!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I always hated "Throbbing Gristle", but I've recently been taken aback by my friend's band name, which is MAGIC BEARD. I've pleaded, but he won't change it. Even better(worse), their album is to be called WE ARE THE TEETH.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"Say hi to your mom" are a new local band.

― Felcher (Felcher), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Here are some newies from todays Metro listings!!!!!

Weevil!!!!!!!!!!
Hookers Green #1!!!!!!!
Some Young Pedro!!!!!!!
Retro Star!!!!!!!!!!
The Blunt!!!!!!!
Modey Lemon!!!!!!!
Distophia!!!!!!!!
Marshan!!!!!
Loftus!!!!!
Eat Yer Greens!!!!!!
X Is Loaded!!!!!! [Wot, like a Sinclair Spectrum game loading off a cassette tape!??!?!]
Parka!!!!!!!!!!
Funnelweb!!!!!!!
Singleskin!!!!!!
Brown Eye Superfly!!!!! [I've mentioned this name before, but they're playing tomorrow in King Tut's with Dogs Die In Hot Cars!!!!!]
Tony Shoebox!!!!!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew someone who invented a Britpop/mod band called Parka, photocopied a fake interview or two with them and sent it off to a bunch of A&Rs. A few apparently made the trek from London to Cardiff for their wholly nonexistent gig.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

anyone heard some young pedros stuff?

― Morag, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Playing at a Northampton all-dayer this Saturday: The Lesbo Pigs.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Anything culled from the headlines:
"Hanging Chad"
"The Miami Relatives"
because it leaves you nowhere to go when the story's run its course.

― Joseph McCombs, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Does that include Frankie Goes To Hollywood?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay Lesbo Pig. They're great they are. and they have releases on 3" CDs.

― jellybean (jellybean), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Dom - er, "contemporary" headlines. Better? :)

― Joseph McCombs, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think it get's worse than Hoobastank.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I recently received a promotional email for the band "Faux Fox".

― Daniel DiMAGGIO (Daniel DiMAGGIO), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

This is Caitlin. : ) Alex in NYC you remember me right? We argued about Kurt Cobain for a long time and then we ended up being civil to each other? I havnt posted in ages but i saw this and thought I would. My good friends bacnd name is "Don't Ask"...that is probably the worst name iv'e heard in a while. "Hey man whats your bands name?"..."don't ask!!" haha wow and another fucked up band name is..."Trapt" "Linkin Park" "VelvetRevolver" It seems like velvet revolver is copying the velvet underground mixed with a little album called Revolver by the Beatles.

― Caitlin O'Neil (kurdtkobain205), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Caitlin! I remember you!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

yay! at least someone does :) i was the 14 yr old...now im 15, will be 16 soon, damn time went by fast!

― Caitlin O'Neil (kurdtkobain205), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you ever follow any of our suggestions?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Caitlin is younger than me wtf, we must fix this

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I would just like to say that after going to !!! a couple o' weeks ago and having to explain the name EVERY SINGLE TIME I almost no longer like !!! (though I had a great sweaty-ass Vice magazine reading time) and I definitely don't want to say 'chk chk chk' anymore ever. Thanks

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Gay Cat Park.

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i always thought Audioslave was a crappy name for a band.

there's a local band called Ten Heads High

― cool hand duke, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll bet $20 that a "Velvet Revolver" is some kind of marital aid.

― phil d., Wednesday, 4 August 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Caitlin! I remember you!

I do as well! And yes, Alex is around here still, and is a dad now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

curt1ssss how old are you?

he's a dad? thats awesome.

― Caitlin O'Neil (kurdtkobain205), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

by the way, yes i have tried your suggestions, and thanks to you, i'm a lot more open-minded about music. thanks a lot

― Caitlin O'Neil (kurdtkobain205), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

now there's a post for the ILM success stories thread

― common_person (common_person), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Hoobastank still own this thread, btw

― common_person (common_person), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was in high school, I almost started a band with a friend in my music class, but the was adamant we would call the project "Coconut Grove." That effectively killed any enthusiasm i had.

― Bruce S. Urquhart (BanjoMania), Thursday, 5 August 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I just read the other things iv'e posted last year and i realize something. I had a very big crush on alex in nyc. haha I guess i just liked his personality...wow

he is a great guy though

― Caitlin O'Neil (kurdtkobain205), Thursday, 5 August 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

im 16 do u like hoobastanked?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 5 August 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

no i hate them honestly.

― Caitlin O'Neil (kurdtkobain205), Thursday, 5 August 2004 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

ok thats kewl

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 5 August 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

tony shoebox- has got to be the best name out of all the names listed here- it's not crap- it's F.ucking genius

― davidd, Thursday, 16 September 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

'Julia Thirteen' are the band that all A&R are fighting over. All the major labels want them signed, all the independant want them signed. If i dont close a deal with them i will cry. They will destroy the world with their music... then they will come back and piss on you for saying they have a crap name. Why is it crap exactly?

'Jarcrew' - Another immense band. Strange name but not crap.

'Shooting Victor Francis' - Hysterical name, wicked band.

'Bumsnogger' - Shit name shit band

'Hitlers Plimsol' - Stupid name

― chessie, Thursday, 30 September 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My girlfriend's in a band called "Cheap Suit Big Tie" which isn't too great.

― everything, Thursday, 30 September 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

otm "hoobastank"

I refuse to even say that aloud.

― sleep (sleep), Thursday, 30 September 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't care who stank.

― Bimble (bimble), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Terrorvision
Death From Above 1979

Both just awful.

― Jason J, Friday, 1 October 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"Death From Above 1979" - blame DFA for that.

― todd (todd), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

A local band for me: "Thursday" formerly known as "Thursday, NJ" (at least they dropped the postal abbreviation).

Also "Taking Back Sunday"
"Dexter Freebish" (apparently entertained at the Republican National Convention)
"Evanescence"

And a word on "Franz Ferdinand": sounds sort of cool at first, but really, what's the idea behind naming yourself after a guy whose only importance is that he was assasinated?

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

yukmouth

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Who remembers "Every New Dead Ghost". Late 80's goth ruled for bad names.

― everything, Friday, 1 October 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Some discarded names of bands I've been in:

Rising Sun
The Garden
Spiral Cane
Flat Snake the Dog

― 57 7th (calstars), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

also:
Stir Stir Stir
Permutation #7

― 57 7th (calstars), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

'Julia Thirteen' .... Why is it crap exactly?

Oh, only because it's completely unimaginitive and is derivative of all the other stupid bands with unimaginitive, meaningless names with numbers attached to the end like

Matchbox 20
Blink 182
Eve 6

― wetmink (wetmink), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I was in a band called "Hive"

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Friday, 1 October 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i hate the fact that i'm able to explain this, but Eve 6 actually was a reference to an X-Files episode called "Eve" which involved an insidious covered-up cloning experiment. and exsanguination! :)

...but on the subject of Matchbox 20, there was an awfully great article in the Onion last week...XD

and Les Claypool's Steaming Bucket of Bernie Brains or whatever it's called wins.

― janni (janni), Friday, 1 October 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha!

"The release has been eagerly awaited by Matchbox Twenty's enormous fan base, composed of American record buyers who have a limited interest in music but enjoy the act of shopping."

― wetmink (wetmink), Friday, 1 October 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually was in a band called New Kids On The Bollocks, and the name wasn't the worst of it.

― Diego Valladolid (dvalladt), Friday, 1 October 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I have been in bands called:
Viscid Lemon
Jilted Pilgrim
Beefcake Dub Sound System (which was not a dub group)

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 October 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

WE have a tradition in Wisconsin of crazy band names (the violent femmes, etc.), here are a few from my corner of the state, and from just across the MN border...

Mel Gibson and the pants (totallygrossnationalproduct.com)
Oodels of poodles
bring home the lobsters
pat the blowfish (pat the verb, not the proper noun)
The Small Varookies
Sled Napkin
Napolian Blownapart - the best thing about them was their name...
Bzzt
Thee coke whores
death of a ladies man
kentucky gag order
Digitata - the medical term for horns groving from anywhere on the human body

and the worst two to promote, leading to anger and confusion respectivly "free beer" and "TBA"

― Max Lasker, Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Blink 182 was just 'Blink' up to about 1996 - but they got threatened by a japaneese dance group called Blink and had to change rather than hire a lawyer.

I guess the figured their albums should cost about $1.82 and just went with it...

― max lasker, Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

(x-post)
is there any state in the country that doesn't have bands named "free beer" and "TBA"?

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been in bands called:

The Common Hellbenders (grunge covers, age 13)
Nice Jewish Boys (Bar Mitzvah music, age 14)
something stupid I can't even remember with "blue" in the name, along the lines of "blue elegance" or "blue satin" (jazz combo, high school)

Even my current band name is not the greatest, I'm afraid (American Altitude) but it was already chosen when I joined, and the music makes up for it, if I may say so (ahem.)

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I forgot to mention the jam band I played in in early college -- Secret Sound. Another terrible name.

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

i know a better one, menstrual gore, death netal band in falkirk

― distorted mind, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

JAPANTHER

― SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT PEOPLE (deangulberry), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 07:05 (twenty years ago)

JAPENGUIN

― barney rumble, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 07:21 (twenty years ago)

Dishwalla. The only possible response is a heartbroken sigh.

― Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

I don't understand why Amongst the Arrows is a crap band name. I think its kind of catchy. You should also see them play, they have an awesome sound.

Nice excessive use of punctuation btw. I feel it really gets your point accross.

― Hannah, Monday, 1 May 2006 20:02 (nineteen years ago)

I always thought that Oasis and Nirvana were terrible names. You'd think they'd be one of the bands playing Uriah Heep and Foghat covers at your school disco in 1975 if you didn't know better.

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Monday, 1 May 2006 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

LARIKIN LOVE

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 1 May 2006 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

four years pass...

Wookiefoot

― Woden the Allfather, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 05:17 (fifteen years ago)

Baths

― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Wednesday, 14 July 2010 05:18 (fifteen years ago)

the Whigs (who are not the Afghan Whigs)

― kkvgz, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 17:06 (fifteen years ago)

this thread title made me think it was about a wristwatch with crap band name words instead of numbers that the hands point to,
so you can go what time is it?
oh it's SARS Wolf.
Great, but I got to leave at a Burger after Elf.

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 17:45 (fifteen years ago)

Philip Q. Nunez, you is a genius.

― Fifi live from gay Paree (staggerlee), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 23:42 (fifteen years ago)

one year passes...

dingus khan

― some crap (electricsound), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 02:50 (fourteen years ago)

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