Tom Waits vs. Keith Richards -- Who Would Win a Fight?

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I would pick Tom. But Keith is nuclear-resistant...

― Jaromil (Jaromil), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom's significantly burlier than ol' Keef. But, I'm sure they'd much rather go drinkin' together instead.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Well hypothetically of course...Keith would outdrink Tom. Keith's favourite drink is Orange Crush and Vodka. Classy.

― Jaromil (Jaromil), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:46 (twenty-two years ago)

The idea of this is creating a complete movie in my mind. Scarves and hats flying, an unending string of profanity, in English and in english, both of them punching with only one hand, due to not wanting to spill/put down the cocktail in the other. And both missing blindly due to vision obscuring cig still stuck to lower lip.
This would be both the best and worst thing...ever.

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom would win unless Keith had a guitar.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:54 (twenty-two years ago)

And what, pray tell, would they be fighting over?

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously though, you know Tom is a bit handy, even at the age he is now.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

And what, pray tell, would they be fighting over?

Hey Ya?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Kind of like the King Kong vs. Godzilla of Rock. Who would play ye old geezers. I guess they would have to play themselves.

― Jaromil (Jaromil), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

They fight over a tab. Or a bottle of wrinkle-cream.

― Jaromil (Jaromil), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Now you've added the idea of Keef alternately fending off blows and taunting Tom from behind his Tele!
Over the tab, OTM

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Friday, 13 February 2004 07:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Mick would help him, but he's too busy banging David Bowie. Tom Waits would have an army of side-show freaks, midgets, and drunken sailors (and indie kids) to defend him. AH, But the Stones have the monarchy.

― Jaromil (Jaromil), Friday, 13 February 2004 08:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Kind of like the King Kong vs. Godzilla of Rock.

Ummmm....does anyone really consider Tom Waits "rock"? I mean, Keef, sure, but Waits is too much of a deranged troubadour to be considered a "Godzilla" or "King Kong" or rock. Leave that to Jimmy Page or someone more qualified.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 13 February 2004 08:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Right. OK OK. dammit. How may threads are you capable of reading at once? Impressed actually. Your comment is astute. A more accurate King vs. Godzilla would be Page and Richards. I suggest locking them in a room full of coke and seeing whom walks out alive. I have 500 bucks on Keith.

― Jaromil (Jaromil), Friday, 13 February 2004 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

No takers for that bet.

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Friday, 13 February 2004 08:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know who'd win the fight but I know I wouldn't want to own the bar they have it in.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Friday, 13 February 2004 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I reckon the stupendous bar takings before the dust-up would more than cover a broken table or two.

― Tim (Tim), Friday, 13 February 2004 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I suggest locking them in a room full of coke and seeing whom walks out alive.

I suggest locking them in a room full of cock and seeing whom walks out alive, doh.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 13 February 2004 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

there a pretty famous story concerning Tom waits getting into a fight with some famous punk rockers at the Troubador in the 70's. apparently he kicked some asses and threw a few tables.

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Friday, 13 February 2004 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know...I'd really like to say Tom, but watching his Fishing with John show made me think that his grizzled urban image extends to drinking and card playing, but not actually being very rough & tumble.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 13 February 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom owns a full-sized circus calliope. Tip it over onto Keith and that's it, party over.

― Phil Freeman (Phil Freeman), Friday, 13 February 2004 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Richards used to get punched out quite regularly by Chuck Berry.

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Friday, 13 February 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

that factoid makes me smile, for some reason

― Kingfish Beatbox Botox Funktion (Kingfish), Friday, 13 February 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't call "once" quite regularly. Keith stood up to a gun weilding Peter Tosh.

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i didn't mean frequency, I meant style.
And I think it was twice, actually, though one of them may not have involved actual violence.

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Well Tom Waits is a fake and Keef is the real deal but that of course has no bearing on the outcome on any bout of fisticuffs - I mean, Tom Waits could undoubtedly beat up Captain Beefheart but then Tom Cruise could probably stomp all over Bruno S.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Saturday, 14 February 2004 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

eight months pass...

I wouuldn't have minded Waits thumping Ian Hislop live on tv

― Bumfluff, Saturday, 30 October 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet Waits owns a blunderbuss.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Saturday, 30 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like to hear more about that fight with punks, please!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 30 October 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

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